december 3rd, 1977.
HOGSMEADE
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"so please hurry leave me, i can't breathe. please don't say you love me. my chest is about to burst. one word from you and i would jump off of this ledge i'm on baby."
•••
cw: mention of overdosing, slight mention of homophobia towards the end.
Rhiannon was by herself. Alone, smoking on a bench next to some run-down old building in Hogsmeade. She had a bag filled with candy, bracelets, and other gifts she got for Marlene since Hannuahkh started tomorrow.
She still was going to give Marlene gifts even after what she did, because she knew that Marlene didn't mean to. Besides, things could be worse. At least she has a place to stay.
Even if everyone there hates her. She liked being alone, at times. She didn't need Remus at all, she would be fine on her own. "Hey." she heard a voice from behind. She looked over, James.
Her face immediately broke into a large smile, "Hey, lady-killer." she greeted. James sat down next to her, and she blew smoke at his face. "So what's up?"
"I need your help."
"What do you want this time?"
"I want to be like you."
Rhiannon laughed, "Well you'd have to do a lot of crazy shit to be like me."
"No, you get good gifts. What should I get Lily for Christmas."
Rhiannon cackled, even more, taking a drag of her cigarette. "You're really not good at this stuff are you?"
"What?"
"Lily is Jewish, dipshit." She bluntly told him.
"Oh."
"Look, you can still be like me. I don't give anyone else presents so I don't waste my money. No offense."
"So I only get Lily gifts?"
"Eight gifts. I'm going to make a list for you." Rhiannon grabbed James' bag and went through it, looking for a paper and pen. She placed it on her knee, messily writing.
Lily Hannuakh Presents!!
Day 1: Candy, whatever's her favorite.
Day 2: A hat, like the ones she always wears.
Day 3: A cardigan.
Day 4: A blanket
Day 5: A bracelet
Day 6: Vinyl of the 'Saturday Night Fever soundtrack.
Day 7: Lillies, the flower.
Day 8: A beautiful necklace, and sex!
She passed the paper to James and he skimmed through it. He looked back up, confused. "If you do well, maybe the last one will actually happen." She teases him.
"Thanks, you're a really great person."
Rhiannon smiles at him then continues smoking, she was a good person. Rhiannon herself didn't think that, but everyone around her did. She helped everyone, all the time. She put everyone else's problems before her own. "Are you okay? You know- after what happened,"
Rhiannon sighed at James' question, knowing she wasn't going to tell him the truth. "Yeah, I'm okay."
"Are you sure? Because you've been through a lot. Your dad, the thing with those Slytherins, everything that happened last month-"
"No need to list everything off." She weakly laughs and takes another drag. James puts his hands on hers, making her look up at him. He knew something was wrong.
"You can tell me anything you know that right?" He tells her sympathetically. Fuck. She really did want to tell him everything but didn't want to kill his happy mood. She took a deep breath in, tears brimming in her eyes.
"No, I'm not okay." She said, her voice breaking. "I really fucked everything up again.". She was taking fast puffs of her cigarette, turning away from James so he couldn't see the tears filling her eyes. "Maybe I'm just a burden."
"You're not a burden." James softly says and Rhiannon looks back at him, eyebrows furrowed. Tears trickled down her face and smoke exhales from her mouth as she cried. James opened his arms, pulling her into a tight embrace.
She sighed, cigarette still burning in her hand. "You're a much better person than I am." She mumbled into his shoulder.
"Are you serious?" James chuckled, "You're the girl who taught me how to make out when I was fourteen." They both laughed at this, and partly at themselves and how stupid they were at fourteen.
It wasn't awkward between them after kissing then, which they both liked. Lily knew also and found it hilarious. Rhiannon was thankful they finally got together, ever since the third year she had been secretly rooting for them.
————
december 4th, 1977. 2:20 AM.
Rhiannon had finished wrapping all eight of Marlene's presents. Lily and Mary were both asleep on their beds, while she was still wide awake. She'd planned to give the first gift to Marlene in the morning.
She opened her drawer to make space for the presents and then found something that made her think. It was the note from Alex that was on the Fleetwood Mac record. She had totally forgotten about him. He was sweet and treated her pretty well.
Half of the time they were together, they were having sex, but he still stayed. He cared, and that's all that Rhiannon needed right now. Someone to care. Not out of pity, like James. But really be there, no matter what. She needed to stay with Alex right now.
Rhiannon closed her drawer and put all the presents on Mary's trunk, leaving a note. I left to see someone, I'll be back soon. Don't worry about me, I'll be okay. Give these to Marlene, one a day. Love you, Rhiannon. She placed it, looking at her sleeping for a second before packing her things.
Rhiannon grabbed her trunk, it didn't have a lot of clothes but she didn't care. She put four packs of cigarettes and a bottle of booze from under her bed, she got her wand and held it tight in her hand, being extremely stressed. The last thing she got before leaving was her sister's cardigan, she put it on and then left the room.
She walked down the stairs to see Remus asleep on the couch with Emmeline Vance, making Rhiannon want to leave. She walked out of the common room, heading to the classroom with the shortcut to Hogsmeade. She came up from the floorboard, breathing heavily and putting her trunk onto the ground as she weakly stood back up.
She crept through the restaurant, trying to get outside so she could disapparate. Her heart burned and she started to cry and she sat on a bench in the dark, thinking of Alex. Alex's dorm room. She imagined it in her mind, listening to Fleetwood Mac and getting high with him.
She felt a whirl of air and opened her eyes to be in front of the dormitory. She opened her trunk while sniffling, placing her wand under some clothes, and taking out a cigarette. Rhiannon locked her trunk back up, taking a drag and then entering the building.
Once she was in front of his door she wiped her face, inhaling and taking a puff before knocking on his door. She waited a moment and then he opened the door, rubbing his face and then looking at her. His eyebrows furrowed, "Rhiannon?"
"The one and only." She whispered, smiling at him with tears in her eyes. "Can I come in?"
"Yeah, of course." Alex stammered, moving out of the doorway and turning on the light as she placed her things on the floor. She gave him her cigarette and he took a drag and she sat on the bed with him.
Rhiannon laid her head on his shoulder, sighing while he passed the cigarette back to her. "What happened, I thought you were supposed to be at school?"
"I thought that too." She replied, shifting her position to look at him. His eyes looked at her brightly, he kissed her; like he had been longing for something like this. After a bit she pulled away, laying down with him on the bed.
She felt bad, she didn't really like him that way. Well, she liked him. But she didn't love him. There was a bang on the door, and Rhiannon jumped; grabbing Alex's hand and squeezing it tightly. They both heard a muffled conversation from outside of the door,
"Soy todo tuyo, Diego." a girl said in a sultry voice, she heard someone shush her while trying to get the door open.
"Dame una segunda." The man said, finally opening the door. The couple burst in, kissing and moaning loudly. They paused and broke away from each other, looking at Rhiannon and Alex who were trying to sleep.
The couple laughed and continued kissing while leaving the room, shutting the door while you could still hear their faint giggling in the distance. Rhiannon turned around to face Alex, still keeping her grip on his hand. She kissed him time, gentle and quick. Alex's eyes softened at her as she smiled, resting her head on his pillow.
He loved Rhiannon. He was all in. He moved a strand of hair from out of her face as she closed her eyes to sleep, he didn't why she was such a rolling stone; making him always want her. But he didn't care about that, he only cared about her. "I love you." He whispered as she slept.
Except she wasn't sleeping, she was wide awake and heard exactly what he said. Her heart starting beating faster and she got out of the bed, panting. He sat up, looking at her confused. "What's wrong?"
"Do you have a phone book?" She asked.
"Um, I think I- Why? Is this about what I just said?"
"Can you give me the phone book? I'm leaving."
"What? I just said what I felt, and I do. I-"
"Please don't say you love me." She cried, "Just give me the fucking phone book."
Alex hesitantly walked over to Diego's side of the room, pulling out a book as passing it to Rhiannon. She skimmed through the pages looking for the last name Howard. Wow, there's a few Howard's in this town. Alexandra, she needed to look for an Alexander Howard. She found her sister, she lived in west manchester but that wasn't too far away.
She ripped the page out, fixed her cardigan, grabbed her trunk, and left. She ruined something else that was good, because of her own problems. But she tried not to worry, she just needed her sister right now. Maybe it was good that she and Alex were over, the first time they had sex she had overdosed an hour later.
She was in a small apartment complex. Apartment 19, the phone book said. She walked up the steps, tears falling down her face as she walked up to the door. Knocking loudly then waiting, she heard two girls talking from inside.
"Who the fuck is that?"
"I don't know?!" She knew that was Xandra, immediately recognizing her voice.
"Put your clothes on, I'll open it." The other person mumbles and she heard footsteps walk towards the door, opening it.
It was a girl, she had long black hair with bangs and was wearing a red t-shirt, "Look Blondie, we're not here to join your cult." she rolled her eyes.
"No, I'm Rhiannon. Xandra's sister."
"No shit?" The girl exclaims, calling out for Xandra then turning back to Rhiannon "I'm Jules Yu, nice to meet you." the girl extended her hand and she shook it, inviting her inside.
Rhiannon stayed up all night telling Xandra and Jules everything, they weren't judgemental at all. She told them about last summer when she met Alex, everything about Remus, her sleeping with Sirius, her blacking out during school.
Rhiannon knew that Xandra and Jules were dating. When they first moved, Xandra had informed Rhiannon that she was Lesbian and in a relationship with a woman. It didn't bother her of course, but other people were bothered by it.
She doesn't remember much, just that Xandra had gotten in a fight with a couple of kids back in high school about it. All she cared about was the fact that Xandra's girlfriend liked The Carpenters. Sometimes Rhiannon wished she didn't grow up as quick as she did, or had a better childhood so she wouldn't be so fucked up now.