Chapter 13:
Ruined
**tw: sexual harassment**
YEEUN
“You don't understand!”
Words that somehow always made it to the dialogue when two characters would fight. Why? We probably don't understand each other because we didn't want to explain or maybe we know that even if we explained, nothing much would change, or maybe we're afraid of the oppositeㅡof everything changing so drastically, of losing what we've gained.
Joon's thick brows furrow, his face is slightly flushed either because he's really angry or because he's been rubbing his hands on his face as if that would sober him up from this hallucination.
But this isn't hallucination. I'm having my first quarrel with my boyfriend. The first big one, it seems.
How do couples get out of this without breaking in two?
“Of course, I don't understand! Do you know how worried I was about you?” He asks. “I kept calling you. I kept texting you. What else would I do when my girlfriend who's supposed to be meeting my parents suddenly disappeared?”
“There is a reason—”
“And what? I see you getting off of some other guy's car? And you're smiling?”
“It's not like that.”
“That's what it looks like to me!”
“Oppa, can we not do this here?”
“Where do you wanna do this? Would you rather have your friends watch this?”
“Joon oppa—”
Joon sighs, calming down and looking away. “I'm so embarrassed by my parents. You had no idea how hard I tried just to convince them to meet you.”
“I know but oppa—”
“Was it that hard to text? Or give me a quick call? At least, let me know if you were alright!”
I stare at Joon and all I could think about was, he wasn't listening to me.
I step back a little and nod. “I admit that was wrong. I should have called you. I'm really sorry if I worried you, for disappearing like that. I wouldn't have liked it if you did that to me either. I'm sorry.” I say calmly.
Joon looks at me.
“But oppa, you know, that's not really what's making you mad right now.”
“What?”
“If you were really worried if I was OK, wouldn't that be the first thing you would ask when you saw me? But your words were, ‘Who was that guy?’”
“Yeeun, of course—”
Tears begin to blur my vision. “You have no idea... what I'm going through.” I say and it hurt that it's true. “And I don't think I could ever tell you.”
“What are you saying?”
“You won't listen to me.” I say, shaking my head as tears roll down my cheeks. “Like those people did, you won't listen to me.”
“Yeeun-ah, don't—”
“I want to rest. I'm tired.”
“What could you possibly—”
“Please, oppa. I want to be alone.”
Joon's face soften and it seems like he's about to wrap his arms around me but I step back because I couldn't handle anyone touching me right now. “I'm sorry.” I mutter before rushing to the apartment. I pass by Seungyeon and Seunghee without saying anything. I throw myself in bed and I cry for the rest of the night.
* * *
SEUNGYEON
Seunghee has gone to bed. Yeeun, the last time I checked, is still sobbing in her room. It's 3AM and I'm having wine in the couch. The script I've been reading rests beside me.
I've been thinking about what Yeeun told me that night when we finished up two bottles of wine in one go.
“Eonni, you know, when you apply in big companies, you have to go through the eye of the needle. It's probably like that with your field too, right? Something similar.”
“Don't let me get started.”
She chuckled. “I really did my best to get through. I studied every night without sleep because that company was holding exams before you get to the actual interview. I passed that.”
“We celebrated. Seunghee ate so much mandu that she threw it all up the next day.”
“When you're there, sitting with other applicants, it's very intimidating. Most of them studied overseas. Their qualifications would never be good as mine.”
“What are you saying? You graduated from a grand university with half scholarship.”
“That day, I met the CEO. He was passing by with colleagues. I didn't expect how he was at all. He's a man in his 50s, probably, but he was very easy going. He was always smiling but it's just that kind that bothers you.” Yeeun poured herself another glass of wine. “The CEO stopped right in front of me, looked at me with that smile and said, ‘Don't you think our applicants look too pleasing to the eye today, Mr. Kim?”
“Assho—”
“Eonni, you know, I was wearing a white button up to my neck and black pants and jacket but when he looked me up and down, I felt violated for some reason.”
“Yeeun...”
“But that was a company I've been dreaming to work in. My mom is expecting me to get in too. I really want to help her with Rieun's studies and the expenses at home. If I got in, I thought that would open so many doors for me, so I went on with the interview that day.
The CEO was there. We were three applicants there. Two men and then there's me. That day, I wore just a light makeup. I wanted to look professional like I'm read to work, not like I'm ready to go to the nightclub after work.
But no matter how much I mentioned my achievements, my credentials, the CEO only had a few questions for me. ‘Do you have a child?’, ‘Do you have a boyfriend?’, ‘Our female employees usually wear skirts to work. Are you okay with that?’”
“Yah! Who is this jerk—”
“Listen to me, eonni.” She said, “I still managed to swing that back to the job. I said I was single and I don't have any children, so that wouldn't distract me from the work. I told him I would be willing to follow dress code. The men there laughed except the two applicants who were as confused as I was.
I guess I already saw the red flags flashing before my eyes but I chose to ignore them at that moment. I got into the company.”
“Men are trash.”
Yeeun chuckled at that, swirling the wine inside her glass. “Eonni, did you know this? The moment you realized you're being preyed on, you want to scream for help, you want to fight but all you do is freeze.”
“What do you mean? What did that asshole do to you?”
“On my first day of work, everything was normal. I thought I've really achieved one of my milestones in life. Everything was going well until I crossed paths with him again. The CEO. I was wearing skirt by then just like how I was told but it was a pencil cut shirt that end below my knees. I was called in his office that day and I was reprimanded to wear the skirt above the knees.”
“Pervert!”
“I did, eonni. I came back to work the next day with the skirt that my mom sewed adjustments to. I was by the printer when I felt someone pat my butt—”
“Is he crazy? Yah! Why are you just telling me now?”
“I confronted him for that because it was so unexpected. I confronted him in front of his employees, so I was once again called to his office after work hours.”
“When does Joon come in this?”
“Eonni, I didn't even know Joon at that time. He works in another department. He couldn't have known.”
“So, what happened after that?”
Yeeun swallowed, her hand trembled a little as she took a sip of wine. “There was no one in the office but there was a grand book shelf that was open, like a door to a secret room. He was there. He called me over. I should have ran away but I was still thinking about my job. That damned job. It was only my second day. I told myself to hang on.
He was sitting there. It's like a second office. He said, “You were surprised earlier, right?” And then the shelves behind me closed. I heard something lock and I remembered thinking, that's it. I'll quit the next day.”
“You said you worked there for ten days.” I said to her in confusion, my brows almost knitting together.
“That's right. That day, it was clear he had bad intentions. I hate myself for apologizing about confronting him when he should have been the one apologizing to me. And he cornered me in that room and he told me, ‘You're just my employee. I can do whatever I want with you.’ He said the next time I embarrass him, I would really get it. I didn't know what that's ‘it’ but I certainly didn't want it. His face was so close to me. I think he smelled my neck. I wanted to knee him in the groin but eonni, I... I just froze there. I hate myself for being unable to do anything.”
“Yeeun-ah...” I scooted over to hug her. She leaned her head on my shoulder.
“The third day, I tried my best to avoid him. I thought that maybe if I just stayed out of his sight, he wouldn't remember me. I didn't sleep because I was scared of going to work the next day but I couldn't bring myself to quit especially when people around me were so happy for me. My mom... she talked about me so proudly with her friends.”
“But still, Yeeun-ah...”
“I know. I regret everything.
Days felt so long and it hasn't even been long since I worked there but I couldn't sleep at nights, stressing about it. He would subtly touch me when he thinks nobody was looking. On my arm. On my waist. Everywhere. He would talk closely to my ear. It was torture.”
“You should have reported him to the police.”
“I wanted to, eonni. I really wanted to. But do you remember those three days when I disappeared?”
“...You said you were working out of town.”
“He locked me in that secret room and took my phone, and he told me that even if I called the police, they won't help me. I asked him why he was doing that to me. Why did he choose me? He said it's just because he likes pretty things.”
“Please tell me he didn't...”
Yeeun's tears fell continuously. “No, eonni. Not to that extent. There were times I really thought he would do it. I thought if he did, I would just kill myself. Everytime I think he would cross that line, someone always called on his phone. His son. He even said he should've gotten rid of his son before he was born. He would be in a foul mood after that so he leaves me there alone.
The next day, he would order so much food to feed me but I never had an appetite. If I refused to eat, he would hit me, so I forced myself to.
I was there for three days. I would hear someone outside— his secretary, a co worker maybe, or the janitor but none of them let me out.
I told the CEO that people would start getting suspicious. No one was seeing me at work. I was only allowed to text mom and you guys. I didn't even come home to pack for the so-called business trip. I'm sure mom was suspicious. I always called her, you know, every day.
So, the CEO sent me home but he laughed at me before that, saying I should meet him at this hotel and then it's d-day. He said he would ruin my life if I tried to run away. He said I wouldn't be able to get hired in other companies. But still, this time, I chose myself. I never came back. I locked myself in my room for three days no matter how annoyed Rieun got.
There hasn't been a normal day for me after that. I stopped hanging out with you guys for a while that you had to come over because I was afraid to even step outside. What if CEO sent someone and they took me away? Every day, every night, I was wary of my surroundings, of men.
I went to the police and reported but they won't believe me. They said I didn't have an evidence so they couldn't detain him.
I couldn't go to work. I didn't want to go to work. The law enforcement didn't help me or offered me some kind of protection. After some time, I was able to go out alone again but it will never be the same. I sent out so many applications to other companies but none of them ever called me.
It's not that I became lazy. It's not that I didn't want to work again. I just can't.
Eonni, he ruined me. I would never forgive him.”
* * *
“Yeeun-ah,”
It's early in the morning and Yeeun is making her own coffee. Seunghee has gone to her writing studio early.
“What?” She asks. Her eyes are swollen but she doesn't seem to care at all.
“I was thinking about it.”
“What? Be clear. My head is cloudy.”
“I was thinking about what you told me that night, when you opened up to me. I don't think I offered enough comfort to you because I was caught up in my own problems. I'm sorry, Yeeun.”
She stops and chuckles. “What's with you?”
I sigh, feeling tears blossom in my eyes. I didn't want to cry. “I'm seeing this psychologist. She's pretty good. Yeeun, please get a treatment.”
Yeeun puts her cup down. “I've thought about that too but eonni, not now. I can't afford to—”
“Don't worry about the money. I'll—”
“No, eonni.”
“Pay me back when you can. It's not free.”
Yeeun looks away, wiping the edge of her eyes. “Thank you, Seungyeon eonni.”
✨✨✨
Author:
this is the continuation of the previous chapter! i wanted to publish them at the same time but i was too sleepy last to edit. :')
it's a touchy subject, yeeun's backstory and i always feel anxious writing about a sensitive topic even if it's just fanfic. as i'm writing this note i feel like i should put a trigger warning in the beginning so imma do just that. anyway thanks for reading! will update soon. <3