This was an old dream I had back in 2006 when he first came to me. I was begging him to come to me in one. This is what he sent me, the smartass! Haha. It's a very symbolic dream, that has a really pertinent message in it.
Roach Dream
I was sitting on the couch and a big, brown, ugly, scary sewer roach was flying around the room. It was weakened from having poison on it but was still alive. The roach landed in the palm of my hand. I felt disgust and fear at it doing this. I threw it across the room. The roach flew right back and landed right in my hand again. I kept thinking "Why in the HELL is this thing coming so close to me?" I kept struggling with it and each time I threw it, it would make a beeline right back to my palm again, almost nestling there, like it wanted to be there. At this point I got really pissed off at it and I really chucked it down forcefully. I did it so hard that it jolted me awake. Then I felt Layne with me and I figured a lot of things out about the dream.
The dream was about judgment. Most people would react the same way to a bug like this. They are viewed as the unwanted, disgusting things of this world, (like junkies are). I realized after the dream that the challenge was to get over that fear and really look at that roach, let it stay in my hand and truly love it. I felt with that love, it would transform into something very beautiful, like an iridescent shining butterfly. It was really the butterfly the whole time, but it came in a roach disguise, to see what my reaction would be to it.
Love transforms, is the message that shines through clearly. Not only does it transform the roach, but it also transforms the one who judges the roach, helping to release their judgement. I also get the vibe from him of not to judge people by their exterior circumstances, you never know just why a soul has chosen to live a physical life with those kinds of challenges. They could be a a really deep and cool person, but our judgement blinds us to all of that. I know he felt very, very judged by the world, the media and himself during his public struggle.
I sometimes find it odd that Layne is one of my spirit guides because I have had minimal exposure to addicts in my adult life. I have never had a problem with it myself. The main way it touched my life was when I was a little kid, my Mom liked to drink to excess and she was one of those people who wanted to pick a fight with other adults. So there was a lot of crazy and chaotic fighting (mostly just verbal) going on that really traumatized me because I was a super sensitive kid. It turned me into a control freak later and made me really dislike alcohol. He is telling me that both our lives were negatively impacted by addiction when we were kids. He always tries to show me the common experiences we share.