At first Jennie thought that she was just likable. Too likable.
To the point where it's uncomfortable and has caused pain to the people around her.
It was concerning, really.
In her first year of highschool, her friend had dragged her along to thirdwheel on a date. She would've refused — considering how awkward that must've been — but she had said that it was her boyfriend who asked for Jennie.
Confusion. That was the only thing she could think about.
And it didn't change after he blurted out a soft "The truth is, I really like you." After her friend left them to take their food from the fastfood counter.
"How can you say that? You're dating Yee-un." Jennie says, despite the internal turmoil ongoing inside of her. There was no sign of repulsion or even slight disconcert in her expression.
Perhaps she was just a bad friend, or maybe it's the fact that she couldn't be bothered about something out of her control. Not even a string of uneasiness seeped into her veins, and at most situations it's relieving but given the current context, it's disturbing.
She starts to internally berate herself for feeling so cold and empty, for not reacting like how a normal person would.
Jennie had ignored the signs right after that incident. How she couldn't tell Yee-un because she was afraid she wouldn't believe her. How Jennie had started to reach out to Yee-un's boyfriend convincing herself that it was for her friend's sake. How she stood quietly infront of the tear-stricken Yee-un who thanked her for revealing his true intentions, mumbling about how she hopes they can stay friends.
Somehow, she never felt guilt or superiority, blankly staring at her friend's puffed face and swollen eyes. All Jennie could tell herself was, "I'd rather die, than find myself exploited like her."
Conviction can either be a truth or a lie. For her case, it had been the latter. And it has always been that way since she had numbed herself into Yee-un's feelings.
Jennie since then found herself manipulating and exploiting people like some warped hobby. A hobby that developed a skill of lying through her teeth as if she was breathing in air.
She didn't really have any reason at all. It could be that she just loved herself too much and had found nothing better than the feeling of being wanted.
A tragic childhood trauma was not it either. Jennie had a privileged and blessed childhood, whether it was her family's fortune, her good looks, and brains. She had endless capabilities to be able to do and get, everything or anything she wants.
It doesn't have to be reasonable. It doesn't have to make sense.
Because at the end of the road, everyone would be crawling to appease her and fool themselves into believing she was a good person.
That's how society works, put on a mask, build a good reputation, and only show people what they wanna see — then and only then, would they look past through the lies and deception.
It was supposed to be flawless, spotless.
No one was supposed to doubt and dislike her.
Until, Kim Taehyung came into the spotlight.
He was odd. Never looked towards her direction, drooled over her, and at some cases, he's almost avoiding her.
It was a new experience. Not that everyone in her life had to like the monstrosity that is her — it doesn't work like that, but it was a first that someone was undoubtedly cautious of her. Like they had seen through her act, way before they could get to know her.
"Taehyung? So suddenly?" Kim Jisoo, his twin sister, looks at Jennie with wide and lost eyes.
Jennie dispiritedly picks on her food. "Why? Who else should I ask when you know him the best?" She puffs out her cheeks.
The older squints her eyes. "Rather than why you're asking me, I'm curious as to why you're asking about him."
"Just wanna know if he's as cranky as you, you're twins after all." She taunts, harboring a harmless glare from the other side of the table.
"Hmm, I don't know. He's my brother but I'm not really interested in his business nor he is in mine. Taehyung's just —" Jisoo pauses, genuinely having a hard time describing her own twin. "him. He's got a distinct personality, a force of nature. Very unlike me." She spiels, acting as if she's not possibily just as eccentric as him.
Jennie hesitates but upon seeing Jisoo's doubtless expression, she carries on. "Um.. Is he into girls?"
The clacking of the utensils came into an abrupt stop at her question, replaced with coughing and pounding at the cafeteria table. Jisoo chokes on her food and Jennie hands her a glass of water, fazed by the reaction.
"The last time I checked he was." She says, fanning herself after sweating bullets at the door of death. "Is this what I think it is because I'm sorry to tell you this: He's not into men, it's just that he already likes someone else."
Jennie ignores the provocative looks the older has been giving her. She was stupid for jumping into such a foolishly egotistical assumption, thinking that men would have to be gay to not like her.
Of course, he could possibly like another woman!
"It's his Thai childhood friend, Lalisa Manoban." Jisoo blurts out, cutting to the chase — knowing that she'd be interested to know who it is.
"Lalisa Manoban." The name rolls out of her tongue. Childhood friend, huh?
Jennie was not a fan of the typical and cliché love story prompts, and falling inlove with childhood friends are one of those. She hated romance books, movies, or mangas of the same genre. Obviously love stories should be romanticized, but it's dumbed down to mutual pinings and second lead syndromes.
When in fact, love is like business. Love is business. It's a two way give and take thing, no one's in it if they're doing it alone. It's why unrequited love exists, people can never be satisfied of loving someone without expecting something back.
Jennie will never understand it's concept, it's not like she has ever felt such attachment which would drive her into desperation. It's pathetic.
It's pathetic watching Kim Taehyung and his lovestruck gaze go unnoticed by Lisa. How he admires her from afar, and constantly keep himself in check whenever he's around her. It's pathetic how Lisa never notices his subtle attempts to get her attention and the hesitant skinships. The saddest thing of all is how Taehyung couldn't seem to get the hint that Lisa doesn't like him back, she has eyes for Jeon Jungkook.
Jennie finds amusement in it all, the laughable love triangle who are a bunch of dense and clueless kids experiencing puppy love. Ignore the fact that Taehyung is technically older than her.
As if things couldn't get even more interesting, there stood Jeon Jungkook infront of the college gate. A shy blush dusted across his cheeks and a tight grip on his phone, he offers the device to Jennie.
"Noona, can I have your number?"
Pathetic.
—
current love square(?) update:
art credits:
jn and ls chibi is by @ Mayko45 on twitter
jk chibi is by @ j_taekoo97 on twitter
and kth chibi is by @ mervilluu on twitter
all credits goes to the artists!<3