HER POV
"Zeriel, anak. Your tito Edrian is here. He bought some foods for you from Brazil."
I gave a single glance to mom before looking Edrian, her suitor."I don't care. I can buy everything I want because I have money for myself. Hindi ko 'yan kailangan."
I didn't bother to look at them and immediately went to my room. Kailangan ko pang mag-impake ng mga gamit dahil aalis kami ni Alina. Tita gaves us permission to have a bonding in Tugawa Cove Resort in Camarines Sur since it's our sembreak. She gave us everything we need to our hangout so we don't have anything to worry about. Mabuti pa si tita, sinuportahan niya si Alina samantalang ako.... nevermind.
"Where are you going? Aalis ka na naman ba, Zeriel?" sunod-sunod na tanong niya nang makababa ako dala ang isang bag ng gamit ko.
I looked at her with no reaction."I'm with Alina, we're going to a resort. Mga tatlong araw lang naman kami dun. You can live without me." Akmang aalis ako ng bigla niyang hawakan ang kamay ko.
"You can't leave! Araw araw ka nalang umaalis ng bahay, kahit nga gabi hindi ka umuuwi. Why are you always leaving ha, Zeriel?! You don't have time for me!" she shouted with full of sadness on her voice.
I sighed and closed my fists."It's because I'm bored here! Anong gusto mong gawin ko dito, tumunganga at magkulong lang sa kwarto ko?! Besides, Edrian was with you. Ano pang gusto mong gawin ko?!"
"I'm your mother! You should be with me everytime I need you but you're not. Mas gusto mo pang gumala at kung saan saan magpunta. You know how much I wanted to have a complete fami----"
"We can't! Alam mong hindi na pwede! Hindi na tayo buo, alam mo 'yan! Do you want that guy to replace dad just because he left us?! Kahit kailan hinding-hindi niya magagawang mabuo ang pamilyang matagal nang nasira noon pa lang." Winaksi ko ang kamay niya at malapit na siyang matumba dahil sa ginawa ko.
I felt pity to mom but I can't help but to get mad at her. Ang manhid manhid niya kase, hindi na siya nagtanda. She kept on entering that freaking relationship even though she knows that it would just hurt her in the end. How pathetic!
"Zeriel, stop it. You're hurti----"
"Oh shut up! You don't have the right to teach me. Kahit ikaw pa ang magiging dad ko hindi ako makikinig sa'yo! Wala akong sinusunod!" I glared at them and immediately went out of the house.
Nakakainis! That was the reason why I don't want to go home. The scenario was just the same. Nakakapagod na. Ayokong nang marinig ang mga sermon niya kaya palagi akong umaalis. Kaya niya naman ang sarili niya dahil diyan sa manliligaw niya or whatsoever. Kung mabuntis man siya, wala na akong pakialam. I don't want to be responsible with the kid because I don't want to have a sibling. Sakit lang sila sa ulo kaya bakit pa ako magpapaka-ate eh ayoko rin naman. I dreamed to be a sister before but I already changed my mind after that sorrowful day. I don't want to remember it anymore.
"Oh? We're going to have a bonding but your face looks like you don't want to. Ano bang nangyari? Let me guess it, you two fought again right?" she's really a talkative girl, ugh.
I just rolled my eyes and get the pack of cigarette to get one."As always, tsk. I think I already made up my mind. Lalayas na ako sa'min. I bet your mother would let me live on your house."
Bigla kong nabitawan ang sigarilyo na hawak ko na hindi ko pa nasisindihan. She suddenly step on the break that made my head bumped into the window. Kaasar. It hurts.
"I'm so sorry, couz. I didn't mean to step the break. Nagulat lang talaga ako sa sinabi mo. You're not serious, aren't you?!" she looked at me with raised eyebrows while crossing her both hands on her chest.
I rolled my eyes and just shook my head."When was the time that you heard me joking around, Alina?! I'm always serious on my words and I'm not lying. Wether you like it or not, I'll move into your house right after this vacation. Hmm?"
"Are you out of your mind?! Nag-iisip ka ba, Zeriel?! What if tita won't let you and will punish you?!" this girl is overreacting ever since. Wala ba siyang tiwala sa'kin?!
"She can't do that. I can do whatever I want to do with or without her permission. At isa pa, ayokong makita sila ng lalaki niya. Nakakasuka," napangiwi ako at umirap ulit. They're not a teenager to act like that.
"Kahit na, si tita pa rin 'yun. She's still your mother so you need to respect her. Kahit sa'kin ka nalang makinig, Zeriel." She holds my hand that made me look at her pleading eyes.
"I do respect mom, Alina. Of course, I care for her because she's my mother. Pero kahit anong sabi ko sa kanyang tumigil na siya sa pagtanggap ng mga manliligaw, ang tigas parin ng ulo niya. Seems like she wanted to experience another heartbreak again. Argh. Ako ang naiistress sa kanya." I looked away just to avoid her eyes on me. Ayokong nakikitang nalulungkot ang mga taong malapit sa'kin. That's why I stopped myself for being a soft-hearted person. Aabusuhin rin nila ang ugali mo.
She just let out a sigh."I know, I understand you more that anyone does. Kaya iintindihin kita dahil alam kong ako lang ang meron ka."
When we arrived at the resort, there are many people hanging out with each other as what I've expected. This is a famous beach so I already have expectations on it. We went to the hotel to check in for just one room but for two people. Minsan kase hindi ako makatulog kapag wala siya sa tabi ko, nakasanayan kona.
"Gosh! Si Zeriel, nandito siya. 'Di ba sikat siya sa Australia at Las Vegas?"
I heard someone whispering at my back while Alina was still talking with the counter.
"Geez. Siya nga, tara papicture tayo. She's so gorgeous," dagdag naman ng isa kaya napairap ako. Ano bang akala nila sa isang sikat na model?! Ugly?!
The two of them appeared in front of me and I just gave them a bored look."Hi! Can we take a picture with you?" one of them asked.
"What if I said no? Won't you take a picture with me?" Tinaasan ko sila ng kilay kaya 'yong masiglang mukha nila ay napalitan ng lungkot. Psh. Paawa effect lang?!
"W-Why not? Idol ka namin kaya nagulat kami ng makita ka namin dito. J-Just one picture, can we?" the other one asked that made me pissed.
"Eh ayoko nga, 'di ba? Can't you understand? Ayokong makipag-picture sa mga katulad niyo. Go away!" pagtaboy ko sa kanila kaya dali dali silang umalis. If they don't want me to get angry, then they should follow what I say.
"What was that?! Nakipag-away ka na naman?!" Alina's eyebrows frowned while we're walking to our room. Nakakainis. Wala man lang taga-buhat ng mga dala namin, ang bigat kaya.
I just shrugged my shoulders and faced her."So what?! They're so stubborn and wants to have a picture with me but I refused to. I'm not in the mood to do things like that. I know many people idolizes me, even the populars but I just ignored them if they want to take a picture with me. Sila pa kaya na sobrang baba lang, asa!" I turned my back on her and opened our permanent room using the key.
"You should be grateful because they intentionally approached you. Kahit na hindi sila ganun kayaman o nasa mataas na posisyon, dapat marunong kang tumanaw ng utang na loob. I couldn't really imagine that you changed a lot, Zeriel." She entered the room first and throwed her bag on the bed and so am I.
Pabagsak akong humiga sa kama dahil pagod ako. Baka magn-night swimming nalang ako mamaya."One year has passed, Alina. The Zekiah before was replaced by the new Zeriel that everyone knows. At kahit kailan, hindi na babalik pa ang dating ako. Ano man ang mangyari, hindi ako papayag."
It was already 7:00 o'clock when we decided to go out and eat for dinner. May buffet naman sa loob pero ayokong makisalamuha sa iba kaya sa labas nalang kami. There was a little restaurant meters away from the hotel so we don't need to walk for too long. Tamad din akong maglakad at gutom na ako kaya baka sumupungin na naman ako ng pagkamaldita ko.
"Oorder po ba kayo, maam?" the girl asked, probably one of the servers of food.
I simply rolled my eyes because of irritation."Pumasok nga kami, 'di ba?! Of course we're going to order and eat. Kung hindi ka naman dakilang tanga! I wonder why your manager hired you."
Agad naman akong pinalo ni Alina at alanganing tumingin sa babae."I'm sorry po, maam. My cousin is just like this, don't mind her. By the way, do you have your menu?"
I just crossed my arms on my chest while waiting for our order. Bahala siyang makipag-usap sa babaeng 'yan. Tsk. We're just talking some stuffs while waiting for our order. Like, what are we going to do right after this three days vacation. For me, I don't have to do something. Wala naman kase akong pakialam dahil nakatuon lang sa isang bagay ang atensyon ko. Modelling. It's my dream ever since I was a kid and now, here I am, reaching my dream alone.
My life was really boring, like what it used to be. They said I already have everything. The beauty, money, popular everywhere, though I don't have a good attitude like what they saw, but little did they know it was just useless. I don't have a complete family that I've been dreaming of. I hate my dad, that fucking asshole for everything that he did. I was mad at my mom because she couldn't take care of me and was always finding some guys out there that could love her more than dad does. I don't have friends that I could run to whenever I have problems. All I have was just Alina, my one and only cousin and my companion in everything. Kaya walang silbi ang buhay ko eh, parang nakatadhana na talaga sa'kin ang ganitong buhay.
"Hey, couz." I was back on reality when she snapped in front of me."Kanina ka pa tulala, may problema ba? We're gonna have a night swimming, right?" she asked.
"Ah... Yeah. I'm okay. We should finish this immediately." I started eating the Spanish dish that served for us. After this, I'm going to enjoy the whole night relaxing myself.
We went back to our room to change our outfit. I was just wearing a pink bikini that exposed my sexy body. I'm surely sure that everyone would admire me this night. Kahit siguro yung mga in relationship na ay mat-turn off sa partner nila kapag nakita nila ako. Well, I'm used to wear this especially during my photoshoot and my albums were going to release. Marami kaseng naaattract sa katawan at kagandahang meron ako kaya kadalasan sa mga pictures ko ay medyo showy ang mga suot ko. Though, it wasn't a bad image because I know my limits for myself.
Pumunta kami sa pinaka-sentro ng resort, ang malaking swimming pool. Kahit siguro lumusong kaming lahat ay hindi kami magsisiksikan dahil sa laki. We caught everyone's attention but we didn't bother to stop from walking until we reached the vacant table and sat. People were watching us, or should I say me, and even drooling when they saw my body. Umirap naman ako kahit na hindi nila nakikita kase nakashades ako. I also put a liptint to make me more attractive in their eyes. There were guys who were approaching me but I just throwed them a death glare. I hate boys, guys, man or whatsoever basta lalaki. Everyone knows it for sure because I said it on the media. Kahit na bakla, ayoko. Lalaki parin naman sila at walang magbabago dun.
"Hi, Zeriel! Ang sexy mo naman ngayon. Can I have you just for this night?"
Pagak akong natawa at tumayo saka hinarap yung lalaking nagsalita."What do you think of me? A slut?! At saka, sino ka naman para sumama ako sa'yo?! You're not even my type. Yuck!" I removed my shades and winced.
The guy seem so pissed because his friends were laughing at him."Why are you so mean, huh?! Kaya walang pumapatol sa'yong lalaki kase pa-hard to get ka. Mukha namang may nauna na sa'yo."
Parang napantig ang tenga ko sa sinabi niya kaya dahil sa galit ko ay nasampal ko siya ng sobrang lakas na dahilan para mahulog siya sa pool."Ano naman sa'yo kung walang preno ang bibig ko?! Besides, I hate boys because they're just pests on my life. And just to tell you, I'm still a virgin you fucking moron!" I raised my middle finger on him while he's waving his hands in the air, probably didn't know how to swim.
Mabuti nga sa kanya, tsk.
"They took some videos of what you did, Zeriel. May iba ring kumukuha ng pictures mo. Paniguradong kakalat na naman 'yan sa social media. Gosh!" Alina said and kept on pulling my bath robe, telling me on what they did.
Tsk. As if I care. Kahit naman lumabas 'yan mas marami parin ang supporters ko kesa sa mga bashers ko. As what I've said, they're aware of my attitude so that issue was just nothing compared to the other issues that I've got. Maldita ako at wala akong pake dun.
"Chill, Ali. Everything's gonna be fine. Wala lang 'yan sa'kin." I calmly answered and sat back to our table.
The bartender serves us drinks while the music band was starting to play a song. I didn't know that there are something like this in this resort. May mini stage kase dun sa kabila at dun sila tumutugtog. The music was so loud that Alina and I couldn't hear each others voice that's why we needed to shout. Seems like we're in a party but I guess we are. Nasa kalagitnaan kami ng pagsasaya ng mapansin naming halos nalalasing na yung nasa kabila, babae na o lalaki. Some of them were started kissing but did not make out here. They shouldn't because if they want to, they should find a room for themselves. It's disgusting, swear.
Nakatatlong baso na ako ng White Walker pero hindi parin ako nalalasing. Maybe because I'm used to drink alcoholics ever since I was 15. That was the time when I got depressed because of family problems that's why I tried drinking it. Sabi kase nila pampawala raw 'yun ng problema at totoo naman ang sinabi nila. Alina was about to close her eyes, probably drunk or sleepy. It's already been 11:00 o'clock and she didn't even finished drinking her glass of Red Label. How weak!
"Oh mg gosh!"
Agad naman akong napatayo ng may biglang bumuhos sa'kin ng wine. Fuck it, my precious bikini! This is the newest model from London! Argh.
I immediately faced the bitch who throwed the wine on me."You! Why are you so stupid?! Look what you've done!" I yelled because of anger.
"It was just an accident, Zeriel. Besides, you deserve it because of your bad attitude," she answered right to my face. Aba! Matapang siya ah!
"Ah talaga? You wanna have a fight with me, huh?!"
I smirked and get the glass of Red Label that Alina haven't finished drinking. Binuhos ko 'yun sa ulo niya hanggang sa mabasa ang kalahati ng katawan niya. I wasn't contented that's why I get the carbonara that the server was about to put on our table and slap it right on her face. Yung dalawang kaibigan niya umatras at nagsesenyasan kung pipigilan ba nila kami pero sa huli ay umalis din sila. I like having a fight with someone, sometimes I was the one who will find someone to fought with. Like I already did bullying and was called to the principals office because of one week suspension. Marami na akong nakaaway kahit saan man ako magpunta, ganun ako ka-warfreak. They're just nothing compared to me, knowing that I'm the queen of maldita's in the whole universe.
"Argh! Bwisit ka!" she slapped me and I wasn't prepared. It was just one slap, though. Hindi naman masakit dahil para namang kagat lang ng langgam. Halatang hindi expert sa sampalan, tsk.
"Iaas that everything that you've got?! Here, taste mine." I gave her a left and right slap that caused her to sat on the wet floor. Nasa tabi kase kami ng swimming pool, mabuti nga at hindi ko siya tinulak kagaya ng ginawa ko sa panget na lalaki kanina.
After that incident, my mood suddenly changed so I guide Alina to our room. Tulog na siya kaya hindi ko nalang siya binihisan at hinayaan lang na matulog sa kama niya. I'm not yet sleepy so I just ordered a glass of vodka and serve it on my room. I usually sleep late and woke up early but I never felt tired nor sleepy at all. I can also maintain my physical body and my beauty so there's no need to worry.
After I received the drink, I didn't even take a glance on the guy and immediately closed the door. I hate their presence, tsk. Kung pwede lang mawala lahat ng lalaki sa mundo para wala na akong reklamo. I went to the balcony while holding the vodka, still wearing the bikini but I removed the bath robe since I'm already on our room. The night was so cold and the stars were shining brightly in the sky. Hindi ako nagdala ng baso at tinunga lang diretso ang vodka kahit na medyo panget ang lasa.
I already tasted almost all kinds of alcoholic beverages. Nagsimula akong uminom nung makagraduate ako ng highschool, mga bakasyon ata 'yun kasabay ng pagpasok ko bilang model sa Paris. I graduated highschool here but I immediately moved to Paris after my mom and dad divorced. My mom and I were both depressed that time that's why we went to our old place when I was a kid. Natuto akong magbulakbol, maglakwatsa, mang-away, at kung ano-ano pang mga kalokohan na nagawa ko. I let out a deep sigh, remembering all of those things that I've done.
"Zeriel! Hey, couz wake up. Mataas na ang araw, nagugutom narin ako."
I woke up when I felt someone who's shaking me. Ugh. Inaantok pa ako.
"Yeah. Just give me 5 minutes because I'm still sleepy." Kinumutan ko ng maayos ang sarili ko habang nakapikit parin ang mga mata ko.
"Aish! Anong oras ka ba kase natulog kagabi?! I thought we're gonna have a tour in the whole resort," her voice seems so pissed that's why I slowly opened my eyes and I saw her crossing her arms on her chest.
I just rolled my eyes on what she did."Around 1:00 o'clock, I guess?! Natulog ka nga ng maaga kagabi, tsk. I didn't enjoy because I was just celebrating by myself!"
"Oh c'mon, Zeriel. Alam mo namang hindi ako sanay matulog ng hating-gabi. You already know that mom persuaded me not to or else I'll be grounded for a week. I'm sure you knew it. We're going to take a tour in the whole resort, you know." She stood up on my bed and get her phone on the table. She even let me look at her phone and she's right, tita send her 10 messages last night.
I smirked after reading all of it."Bantay sarado ka, ah. Good thing mom wasn't strict on me because I didn't obey one of her rules after all. Kailangan din natin ng kalayaan, hindi na tayo mga bata." I fixed my bed and opened my closet to get my towel. I badly want to take a shower right now.
"You're right, weren't kids. But they're just doing what's better for us, that's the role of the parents ri----"
"Parent, Alina. I only have one guardian but she's also focused on nonsense things. Mukha ngang ako lang mag-isa at wala akong pamilya." She pursed her lips, not planning to say something."I'll just take a shower, this would be fast. You can wait for me outside." I added before entering the cr.
I just ate a sandwich with a pair of juice because I'm on a diet to maintain my figure. Nagbihis lang ako ng simpleng shorts at sports bra tapos jacket dahil ayokong mainitan ang balat ko. When we went outside, we saw a crowded place near the cottage and because of curiosity, I grabbed her to know what's going on.
"So, are we all settled? Wala na bang susunod sa atin para makapagsimula na tayo sa tour. Time is running."
The guy in front who's wearing a formal attire said, probably our tour guide. They answered yes that's why we started wandering around the resort. They also have some things that are preserved in the glasses but I don't exactly know what are they. It's not animals though, a sort kind of treasures or whatsoever. We just continued roaming around until we reached the part of the resort where everyone takes a photoshoot. Like a mini set, I don't know what to call it. Good thing I brought camera with me so I asked Alina to take some photos of mine. I'm gonna post it on my instagram account.
"So this is the place where you wanted to have a therapy. Any classes of therapy will do and it's free since you're here in the resort to relax," he showed us the two-storey house that has 15 rooms inside. Karamihan sa magmamassage ay mga lalaki kaya nawala ang interes ko.
This resort was really great. We could spend a lot of time here without getting bored. Bukod sa marami kang magagawa ay marami ring mapupuntahan. But what I liked the most is their mini bar. Makakainom ako kahit kailan ko gusto, makakapagsaya ng walang limitasyon, at ang pinakapaborito ko ay makahanap ng gulo.
Instead of being a maldita, I was also known as a warfreak girl. Wala akong inuurungang laban, kahit sino pinapatulan ko. I don't have fear in everything. I don't care if I hurt them because I'm enjoying my doings. Mukhang wala na nga akong patutunguhan neto. So what?!
"Uh... Hi Zeriel."
A girl greeted me while we're walking near the swimming pool. She's wearing a swimsuit and was holding a lotion. It's so cheap, tsk.
I just gave her a fake smile."Hello. Do you want some help?" I asked her. An idea came up on my mind and I'm sure this would be enjoyable.
"Ah... You can do it by yourself right?" Alina interrupted and looked at me meaningfully."We need to go somewhere and it's uh... urgent." she added. Alam kong nabasa niya ang nasa isip ko kaya niya sinabi 'yun.
"No, it's not that urgent. I can help you put that lotion on you if you want." I smiled. Alina just rolled her eyes because she knew it was just plastic.
"Really? Gosh! Thank you talaga, Zeriel. I'm so glad that you'd help me," the girl sounded happy that's why I came closer to her and get the lotion on her hand.
"Zeriel sto---. "
I glared at Alina before opening the lotion and smiled at the girl. Umupo siya ng maayos para malagyan ko ang binti niya pero imbis na dun ko ilagay ay binuhos ko 'yun sa mismong mukha niya. I poured the lotion until it was already empty while the girl shouted because she couldn't see anything. I laughed on what I did but before I could even talk, Alina harshly grabbed my hand to keep me away from her.
"Zeriel! Ano na naman ba ang ginawa mo?! Why are you so hard-headed?! Ang ganda ng pakikitungo sa'yo ng tao tapos wala kang respeto!" she kept on scolding me for what I did but I just sighed and looked away.
It will always be the scenario if I did something like that. Kung hindi rin siguro siya tulog kagabi, baka ganito rin ang ginawa niya sa'kin nung inaway ko yung babae. I couldn't talk back because she's still my cousin, the only one who's with me through my ups and downs. Kaya kahit gusto kong magsalita ng point of view ko, mas minabuti kong 'wag nalang. She would be mad and would ignore me for a day. Hindi ko kayang tiisin 'yun. Argh.
But whatever is it, I'm still a badgirl and no one could change that. Never!
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