The Group Chat (Marauders AU)

By reject_20

594K 16.6K 10.5K

The five Marauders have a group chat. This should be fun, right? More

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14 years later

118

2K 60 44
By reject_20

best black👯‍♀️

i need a favor...

what?
i'm napping
newts took a lot out of me

same

BITCH YOU FINISHED THE CHARMS TEST BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE
YOU DID IT IN LIKE THREE MINUTES
AND NOT TO MENTION THE PRACTICAL TEST

you finished the potion first

it was amortentia
easy as pie
speaking of which
i want pie...

my brother is in the kitchens

already texting him
what do you need?

you know my anxiety potions?

yeah?
what about them?
you took like four during the astronomy test

constellations got me fucked up

we know bunny
you curse the wind before we even step foot in sinistra's classroom

you do the same with alchemy

ughh
don't remind me
thank merlin it's almost over
i hated that class
you however
you looked like a kid on christmas

that was you

i know
ANYWAYS
i already told dad
he agreed

on?

when do you go to beastling?

three weeks after your wedding

postpone it
i'll still be on my honeymoon

FOR THREE WEEKS!?
THREE WEEKS ALONE WITH THE PUPPY!?
fucking rabbits

you're one to talk

👁👄👁
NAME ONE TIME

that it happened?
or that i accidentally heard?
THERE ARE SILENCING CHARMS FOR A REASON
FUCKING RABBITS

sorry...

MY GOD
MY EARS
MY EYES

THAT WAS ME

IM SORRY

NOT GOOD ENOUGH

pie?

you're forgiven
but i'm serious as my fiancé's name is sirius
postpone it
another week
idc
just postpone it

why?
vix
there are things to be done
the school is brand new
I HAVE SHIT TO DO

I DONT CARE
THIS IS IMPORTANT

WHAT

various things
1. pack a bag for about a week
we going on a trip

PIGFARTS!?

yes solis
pigfarts

RUMBLEROAR HERE I COME
but really
where are we going

mars

vix
really
where?

just
pack a bag
trust me
after graduation
you pack your shit
all of it
you can stay with me, reg and pads until you get a place

you lot got a place?

no
but i've been looking at one in godrics hollow

the abandoned one?

yeah
thinking about buying it the day we graduate
idk
haven't told snuffles yet
and idk if someone else bought it yet
have to check the listings again but i'm too lazy to do so rn

ah
wait until graduation
you two can check the place and then decide

yeh
anywaysssss
just trust me on that
okay?

k?
and number 2?

2. dad needs your help

potioneer fleamont potter needs my help?
am i dreaming?

no
you're not
he sent me some notes
sent 10 photos!
you down?

vix
that's your anxiety potion and reg's depression one
i'm not meddling in that...

sunny
he's upping the concentration so that i'll only have to take one instead of three
same with reg's
but he needs your help with that
it hasn't been done

when?

until whenever you feel comfortable
out of all of us
you're the best at potions
you rival my skills and i'm the descendant of countless potioneers
dad needs you help with this

you're lucky i love you like a sister and that i want to see my brother get better
i'll read the notes while i'm eating pie and i'll call monty
anything else?

yeah
BRING ME SOME PIE

wru?

art room with reg

he's painting?

more like teaching me how to properly work with acrylic paints
i'm more of a watercolor kind of gal
and i can't use oil paints for shit

same
speaking of my brothers
how are those french lessons going?

terrible
but that's why i'm making it seem terrible

why?

we have a bet
and i'm determined to win
now
bring me pie
dépêche-toi

👁👄👁
it's a miracle he hasn't taught you any curse words yet

HE DOESNT WANT TO
meanwhile here i am listening to reg curse in french and latin
when did you asshats learn latin?

half of the spells are latin
and etiquette class...

ah
dude
istg
if reg doesn't become an artist after he graduates
i'm killing him
he painted anka

LEMME SEEEEEEEEE

OH MY GOD THAT SO PRETTYYYYYYYYYYY
and are those oil paints?

yep
like i said
he doesn't become an artist
i'm killing him

you and me both
btw
have you seen starboy?
or my boyfriend?

hogsmeade with moony and speckles
the rest are with prongs raiding the kitchens

ah
i'm omw
tell reg to set up a canvas for me
i'm painting my one true love

pie?

pie

...

starboy💫

you my sir
are in deep guano

huh?
why?

vix wants to buy the abandoned house
the one you bought
wtf are you gonna tell her when she sees it's already been sold?

shit
ummm
idk
im there now so yeah

figured
hogsmeade
really?

hush
that's why i have moony and speckles here
to back me up

you're a dumbass
let me guess
kitchen is done?

basically the entire house is done
just a few little details left and we're golden
where is she btw

reg is distracting her dw
she's painting with him
it's a sight to see

why?

reg is cursing in french and latin
vix is trying to imitate him just to spite you

THIS IS WHY I HAVENT TAUGHT HER THE CURSES YET
MERDE

yeah yeah
put a cork in it frenchy

you're french too dumbass

i know
maintenant tais toi

you first
why am i in guano?

because you need to come up with an excuse as to why vixen should not see the listings of the house she wants

easy
✨no internet✨

✨cell reception✨
dumbass

shit
ummmm
help?

why?

because you love me

that's debatable sometimes

AIDE-MOI

okay okay
don't get your panties in a twist
my god
idk
tell her that you want to wait to really check the place out in person
or that you went ahead and checked the listings to surprise her and someone else already bought it
idk
idc
just make sure she doesn't see it

that's why i don't have the deed to the house with me

it's under who's name?

mine
but after we get married
i'm changing it to hers

good boy
now get your ass back here
AND BRING US FOOD

ughhhhhhh
WHY

TO MAKE IT BELIEVABLE THAT YOU WERE IN HOGSMEADE IDIOTE

STOP IT WITH THE INSULTS

MAKE ME

UGHHHHHH
the usual?

yep 🤠

we're ouw now
give us like an hour or so

k
AND BRING ME PIE

YES SOLIS
ILL BRING YOU PIE
MY GOD
ANYTHING ELSE?

vix wants chocolate frogs

okay
and reg and anka?

pizza and butterbeer

on it!
thanks for distracting her

anytime
idjit

HEY




translations:

1. hurry up
2. shit
3. now, shut up
4. help me
5. idiot

(sorry if they're not perfect. i used google translate because i can't speak french for shit!) 

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