@Xᴀɴ_Tʜɪᴘᴘʏ
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playιng: [Mʏ Bᴏʏғʀɪᴇɴᴅ's Bᴀᴄᴋ] - [Tʜᴇ Aɴɢᴇʟs]
By Friday, Xan had mostly convinced herself that everything was fine in Beacon Hills. The looming mystery of the dead body in the preserve would soon be solved by the competent local law enforcement. As for Scott, he had probably just received a blessing from Nike, giving him incredible sports abilities. Some nagging doubts remained in Xan's mind, but they were shockingly easy to brush off, probably because she was tired of always having to deal with Godly Bullshit.
There was only one thing she knew concretely: Allison was just an extremely nice new girl. Definitely not a killing machine, in fact the only killing that girl was doing was with kindness. Xan had already sheepishly packed away her cork-board the night before, there seemed to be nothing wrong with Allison at all. Well, there was one thing.
The girl was absolutely infatuated with Scott McCall.
Apparently he had come to her rescue in a major way on Wednesday night, and her initial attraction to him had grown into full blown puppy love. Lydia and Xan had patiently listened to her gush through about five different renditions of the night, how sweet and caring and funny he was. It was beginning to get a little annoying, despite how happy Xan was for the girl. She was honestly excited to be making a friend like Allison: she was attentive and understanding, and didn't call nearly as much attention onto Xan as Lydia did.
The last few days had been peaceful, and Allison's incessant buzzing about Scott had begun to be a sort of white noise for her. Today though Xan just couldn't focus on more analysis of Scott's smile, she had her own love life to think of. Ethan was coming to visit for a few days.
The joy and anticipation bubbled up in her chest and made it hard to swallow. Seconds seemed to drag on, and no matter how many times her classmates asked, she just couldn't stop her feet from tapping rapid-fire. If only the clock hand would move as fast. Calculus and Biology seemed to drag on even worse than her other classes, and by the time she finally slipped into her seat next Allison for AP French, she breathed a small sigh of relief. The final bell was now within her reach, and any last will to do schoolwork fled her body as she turned to face her new friend.
"You're going to be at the party tonight, right?" Xan asked, barely keeping her eager voice at a subtle volume.
"Yeah, Scott asked me two days ago, remember?"
"No offense, but how could I forget? It's basically all you've talked about since," Xan ribbed, shimmying her shoulders as she laughed at the sheepish look on Allison's face. "I totally get it though, I mean I wasn't able to gush about Ethan a lot when we started dating, but trust me I wanted to. I have a stuffed bear that definitely got tired of hearing about it, there was some squealing involved."
"Just some?"
"Well I was barely 13 at the time, so a lot, a lot of squealing was involved."
"You guys have been dating for two years?" Allison spluttered, shocked at how long they'd managed a long distance relationship at such a young age.
"No just one, I'm 14 now. I skipped a grade as a kid, and my birthday is at the end of the school year, so I've always been the youngest in my grade." Xan said, flushing at how childish it sounded to say out loud.
"Really? Wow, I'm the opposite way! I'm turning 17 in just a few weeks. I got held back a year in elementary school because my family moved around so much, I've always been the oldest. It's so weird being a different age isn't it? People always make a big deal out of it." The two girls shared a sympathetic nod, even though they were at opposite sides of the spectrum, they probably understood each other better than anyone else in their class could.
"Wait, does this mean that your brother skipped a grade too?" Allison asked.
"Oh no, we're not twins. He's almost a year older than me. He actually was born the day after Scott, they've had joint birthday parties since the first grade." Xan explained.
"Really, but you guys seem so close, I've never seen ordinary siblings with such a good relationship," Allison said, making Xan laugh, even the mortal side of her family was complicated to explain.
"Well actually.... Ro and I aren't even siblings, we're distant cousins. My mom adopted me from a relative of her's that died. All we know is my birthday, the name she gave me, and that she died in a car wreck in Washington."
"Wow," Allison said, eyes wide and her mouth dropped open, "You're being totally serious?"
"Cross my heart," Xan said solemnly, "It's so confusing, but I don't really focus on it too much, I just try to appreciate the family that I have. I love my mom and my brother so much, I can't imagine being raised by anyone else."
"Geez, and I thought my family had mysteries. That's sweet though, being taken in by someone who barely knew you, and them loving as much as their own son."
"Yeah, I'm pretty lucky to have them," Xan said, and the two girls paused their conversation as a grammar worksheet was passed out around the class. Setting it next to their open textbooks, with pens in hand, they absently got to work.
"So, you're going to the party tonight too right?" Allison whispered, leaning over to check her answers against Xan's.
"Yeah, I'm going a little early to help Lydia set up. And Ethan's coming to visit for the next few days, so hopefully I can convince him to come too. He's so sweet," Xan responded, scribbling out a conjugation chart that she messed up, starting on a new one.
"Oh that's so exciting! I bet you really miss him," Allison said sympathetically, laying her pen down to focus more on her new friend.
"So much, we talk all the time, but it's not quite the same. I always want to turn around and tell him jokes or that I love him, but I have to call him to do it. It sucks to see all the couples kissing in the halls too, I just want something like that, a typical high school relationship, but I don't want that with anyone but him. He makes it all worth it," Xan said, a cheesy grin melting across her face, as a lovesick sigh forced its way out of her throat. "That's why I want him to come to the party tonight. I'm so happy to be his girlfriend, and I just want the chance to be able to show him off."
"Well, if he knows you want to go, why wouldn't he?" Allison asked, picking her pen up once more as the teacher stalked past their row of desks.
Xan sighed, and waited for her to pass before responding. "Well, Ethan isn't really fond of parties, or my friends here in town. They're not really fond of him either, to be fair. Oil and water, like my mom would say."
"Oh yeah, I remember Lydia talking about him on my first day. She's definitely not a fan," Allison chuckled.
"Yeah," Xan shrugged, "I think it may be because we kind of kept our relationship on the down-low for a while. We didn't tell anyone, not even our friends from camp- that's where we met. It's this summer camp that I've been going to since I was a little kid. We're all pretty close, which was our excuse for not telling, but really we just wanted to keep it between us. What we have is really special, and we knew it even back then. It doesn't help either that Lydia and Ethan are both so stubborn. And so opposite."
Allison let out a small squeal, "Oh my god that's so romantic! It sucks that they can't get along for you though, I imagine that's got to be an awkward place to be in."
Xan gave a noncommittal shrug, as the teacher began giving instructions to pass their worksheets back up to the front of the class. "Maybe you'll have that with Scott- the adorable romance, not the weird animosity between him and Lydia. Though she hasn't really shown much in the way of being interested in acknowledging his existence at all. I heard Jackson complaining about him earlier though, something about steroids?"
Allison seemed to have been sent into a fantasy at Xan's words, dreamily picturing her own future with Scott, dates and kisses and supporting him at games. She sighed and rested her chin on her hands. "Maybe," she said wistfully.
"Maybe Scott's on steroids?" Xan asked, scrunching her face up in confusion.
"What- huh?" Allison flushed, ripped from her small reverie, "No, uhm, I mean maybe Scott and I will have that romance,"
"If Lydia doesn't hate him at least,"
"Yeah... if," Allison said, dread written plainly on her face.
"Knowing how overbearing Lydia can be though, her ignoring him may be the best outcome," Xan laughed, talking over the sound of the final bell ringing. Her restlessness returned as she shoved her stuff into her backpack, barely giving Allison time to do the same before she had grabbed her elbow and was dragging her down the corridor. They met at Lydia's locker, and Xan tapped her foot and practically vibrated in place as her ginger friend said her goodbyes to Jackson. How long did they really have to kiss for anyway?
As soon as they broke apart for air, Xan latched her hand onto Lydia's arm and began waving goodbye to the group, escorting them out to the parking lot. Damn, she was good at this.
Should she become a security guard? Maybe... nah.
Lydia was finally released as they came up to her car, Xan hopping on the balls of her feet at the passenger door.
"Careful with the goods, this is expensive merchandise Xan." Lydia huffed, inspecting herself for bruises.
"Don't be a baby, hurry up," Xan whined, shooting back around the car to dig through Lydia's purse for the keys. They briefly scuffled over the bag, Lydia relentlessly slapping her friend's hands until she backed away, then pointing the key at her as if it were a gun.
"Back the fuck up or I'll shoot," she joked, rolling her eyes, "You seriously need to chill, you get like this every time he visits, and every time he's just as mediocre as the last time,"
"Hey! Don't be rude, I've finally figured out a way to get him to come to a party and be social, and you being mean to him will just ruin it all," Xan defended, giving Lydia a look.
"Ugh fine, let's just get out of here so I can start getting ready for tonight. I'm going to need to pre-game if you want me to be nice to the Grim Reaper,"
"That's a good example of something not to say," Xan chirped.
If Xan thought waiting for school to be over was hard, then she was sorely disappointed to find that waiting for Ethan to arrive wasn't any easier while she was at home. After one miserable hour of keeping herself busy, she heard a firm knock on her front door, tapping out a fun rhythm.
Dropping the book she was pretending to read, she leapt off the floor. She raced down the stairs and almost slammed face first into the door. Ignoring her mother's calls to be careful and not destroy the walls, Xan wasted no time in throwing it open.
It was him, just there on her porch.
For a second, she just stood there frozen, and they drank each other in. Grins broke across their faces, and she launched herself into the arms that reached out for her, anchoring around her waist with a squeeze. Locking her own around his boxy shoulders, she was swept up in the euphoria of the warmth of his skin against hers. His heart was beating so close to hers, and the smell that was uniquely him filled her nose. His face was buried into her hair, and after a quiet sound of satisfaction he released her to the ground.
Xan almost puddled straight down to the floor, as if her knees had been melted by his touch; but the way his grip settled around her hips made her solid again. Ethan and Xan were still, their pulse and breaths filling the space around them, their cheeks flushed and aching from smiles they couldn't hide away.
She stared into Ethan's eyes, which quirked upwards at the edges, in the way that he hoped that they always would when he saw her. Looking into them felt like being wrapped in the depths of a warm summer night, impossibly dark. But familiar and warm and inviting all the same. One of those nights that burned it's way into her heart, a place that she wished that she could live in forever.
If the silky night sky was held in his face, winking with tiny pinpricks of stars, then a bonfire was held in her heart, lit up just to enjoy him, just to feel the warm breeze caress her cheeks. A light in the darkness that existed to make her feel content with how small she was beside him, under his multitudes. But the summer night was incomplete without the warm glow of fire, eerie without the crackle of embers.
"Hey"
"Hey"
It took two hours of giggling, catching up, and cuddling together on the floor of her room before Xan worked up the courage to ask Ethan about the party. Things had been going well, how could he possibly say no?
"So tonight... Jackson and Lydia-"
"Are throwing a party?" Ethan groaned.
"How did you know?" Xan asked, nervously tracing her fingers over the back of his hand.
"What else do they do? They're not exactly the type to have anything better to do than kill brain cells and hang around people they secretly hate."
Xan stiffened, before propping herself up on one arm, taking her head from where it had been resting on his chest. "What exactly is that supposed to mean?" She asked in a warning tone.
"You know what I mean,"
"I don't think I do, say it,"
"Nevermind, it was nothing," he huffed.
"It wasn't, I'm not dumb," she said, slowly laying back down against him, staring up at his jaw. It was lightly clenched, and Xan felt her frustration build. "Did you want to go? Lydia promised to be on her best behavior. Besides, you can meet my new friend Allison. It'll be a ton of fun, as long as we're there together," she pleaded.
"I don't want to go, besides, how long have you even known this Allison girl? She's probably just like Lydia,"
"I met her this week, she just moved here. And not that it matters, since there's nothing wrong with Lydia, but she's very nice. She's going on a date with one of Dev's friends," Xan said, sitting up to defend her friends.
"Well that's not exactly a good character review," Ethan said, sitting up on his elbows to look at his girlfriend, "Honestly, why do you want to go so bad?"
"I want to be able to spend time with my boyfriend, show him off to the people I go to school with, and do something other than watch movies in my room for once! I want one night where I can pretend I'm a normal fucking teenager with a normal fucking relationship!" Xan snapped, standing quickly and rustling through her drawers to stop herself from shouting. It wasn't exactly working.
"I don't care what other people think,"
"I don't either, but I care about what you think, and you seem to think that being seen in public together is the end of the world. We've been together for how long? And my friends barely know you. I want to feel like you belong in my life here, not like I'm in a completely different universe when we're together Eth."
"It doesn't matter, I'm busy tonight anyways,"
Xan dropped the shoes she was looking at, carelessly letting them clatter to the floor, as she turned to him with her mouth dropped open. "What do you mean you have plans tonight? You just got here?"
"I mean that I have plans tonight," he sassed, rolling his shoulders as he stood up and began to grab stuff from his duffel bag.
"What plans? Why?" Xan said helplessly, she wanted to reach out and hold him, or maybe break something, but her arms hung useless at her sides.
"I'm visiting a relative that lives an hour or two away,"
"What relative? I never knew you had family so close," she questioned, hands wringing at the edge of her skirt. Ethan reached around her to grab his hoodie off of her dresser, and she felt like an intruder in her own room.
"An uncle or something, I didn't know they existed either, that's why I'm going," he said slowly, and Xan felt a sharp prick on her hands. This bitch was trying to lie to her.
"My dad is the god of truth Eth. I know you're lying about something,"
"Am I? I'm going to visit a relative. Maybe you're too emotional to trust your senses right now," he said again gruffly, almost offended that she dared to call him on it. Focusing on his words, she decided he wasn't lying. Maybe she did have too much faith in her built-in lie detector. Her squared shoulders deflated as she sat down at her vanity, beginning to rub primer into her face.
"I guess not," she mumbled, following his form in the mirror.
"Thanks for the trust," he bristled, causing Xan to throw up her hands and groan. He turned to her and watched her as she aggressively patted the concealer onto her skin, and his face softened. Moving to stand behind her, he put his hands on her shoulders and rubbed them gently, resting his chin on her head.
"Hey," he whispered, making her head snap up to look him in the eye, "I'm sorry Pip, you know how I get when I'm stressed, I've just been nervous about this meeting for so long. It's not fair to you, I'm sorry. I don't want to fight."
"I know, I was just really looking forward to this," Xan sighed, resting her head in her hands. They stayed like that for a little, watching each other, and Xan made sure to keep her face impassive. She didn't want him to know how she was feeling, not right now. "Will you be back tonight?"
"I don't know," Ethan said, grimacing when he caught the disapproval in her eyes.
"Okay," she said quietly. Ethan moved to sit on her bed, and she concentrated on doing her makeup perfectly. If she could control this, then it wouldn't matter what Ethan did. He didn't want to come with her? Fine, she'd just look her best, and he could miss out.
You could control him Xanthippe, if only you listened to Luke. He'd help you get all the control you wanted, wouldn't he?
Xan shivered as the voice- his voice- rumbled up again from the pits of her stomach, almost bruising her ribs with the force and weight it carried. She flinched and held a hand to her chest. That's the second time this week, her conscience nagged.
She should really talk to Chiron, maybe they hadn't dealt with her little mental hitchhiker this summer as well as they'd thought. Then again, it was such an ordeal before, that Xan really wanted to keep pretending everything was fine. She'd call Chiron if it happened two days in a row. It was probably all of the worrying she'd been doing recently. Chiron and Will had said that would make her more open to mental attacks.
"I better get going," Ethan said after a few tense and silent minutes. He tugged on his hoodie, and gathered up a drawstring bag. Xan hated that she didn't know what was inside of it. She hated how oblivious he was to her inner turmoil. Not that she even wanted him to know about it anyways.
"Alright, be safe," Xan said, clicking her blush closed and turning to face him.
"I will, you be safe too. Get a ride home if you decide to drink." He said, stroking her cheek.
Xan let a half-hearted smile on her lips, at least he cared that much. "I will," she responded, unable to keep her eyes from pleading up at him to stay. It almost worked, she could tell by the way he lowered his bag to the floor, and how his face melted from the heat in his eyes.
Ethan bent down and kissed her softly, whispering an 'I love you' against her lips, which she returned. Her hand cupped his jaw as they kissed goodbye, and trailed after him when he pulled away. She watched him walk out of her room and shut the door. Downstairs she could hear him say goodbye to her mother, and when the door finally shut behind him, she let herself have a few moments of misery.
Then it was enough, he wasn't going to ruin her night. He had intended to ditch her the whole time, and she had intended to have a good night, so there was no reason they couldn't both get what they wanted. Reaching over to her speakers, she flipped them on and shuffled her and Lydia's guaranteed bop playlist to pump her up, and started to pick out an outfit. She was almost late to help her set up anyway.