She couldn't remember the last time she saw the light.
Darkness was all there was. The damp scent of the cellar, especially on days the rain would creak through the pipes, and the ever present darkness.
She might as well have been dead already because this wasn't living. Who knew if she'd ever get to live again.
A while ago she had strived to stay away from the very concept of sleep, but now she was well acquainted with it.
The nightmares consumed her. But she never woke in a fluster or fearful outburst. She simply didn't have enough energy for that—any energy really.
Now she was immune to that green flash in her conscience that used to freeze her blood to ice.
Her mind would simply slip into slumber whenever it could afford to. Which was all the time. It's all she could do whilst trapped in this cellar.
Memories would arise. Some painful, some joyous, but filled her with a pang of despair when she'd awaken, remembering what she had lost. What she may never get back.
Memories were all she had. And she needed to cling onto them in order to survive.
The upbeat music was bouncing off of the glistening walls of the Great Hall whilst everybody danced and exerted so much excitement.
They'd been anticipating this night for a while. It's all the girls had been talking about for the past few weeks. The Yule Ball, the grandest night there could ever be at Hogwarts.
Athena and Dean were jumping around together in sync with the jovial tunes, surrounded by everyone else. Radiant smiles, bashful laughter and no worries in the world.
The song faded into its end and when Athena paused her dancing, she realised how hot she was. If it weren't for the cooling charms, she would be dripping with sweat this very minute.
"Want a drink?" she asked Dean in a loud voice against the volume of the next song that was played.
"No, you're alright," he beamed, winking at her whilst continuing to dance with the mass of bodies around him.
She nodded and squeezed her way through the crowd, pushing past people to get to the drinks stand.
There was a giant bowl of what she thought was fruit punch, though it glistened under the icy lights above. She shrugged, grabbed a goblet and filled it with the liquid.
She took a sip and it was divine. She took a moment to enthuse over it.
"It's nice to see you put some effort in for once, Greene," a nasty drawl sounded from behind her.
She drew in a sharp breath, pressed her lips into a frustrated line, before turning around to face the annoying aura of Draco Malfoy.
"You do scrub up nice," he said tauntingly, surveying her with predatory eyes.
"What do you want, Malfoy?" she seethed behind her teeth, not wanting to allow this vermin to even attempt to ruin her night.
"Just grabbing myself a drink," he grinned, dipping the ladle into the giant bowl and dishing it into an empty goblet.
Seeing Malfoy in fine robes that only screamed of his luxury did not faze her. It was nothing new for him.
"It's a shame about your dress though," he smirked, wickedly.
She just stared at him for a moment, unable to figure out what he meant.
That was only until the goblet in his hand tipped over slightly and the bright pink liquid splattered down onto the skirt of her light blue dress.
"Oh! You ars—" she yelled, before remembering her surroundings.
Pansy Parkinson then swung by his side, looping her arm through his. She snarled at Athena, but seemed to disregard her existence when gazing up at Malfoy and his fucking stupid grey eyes.
"Ah Pansy, tell Greene that her dress looks nice," he grinned, making her stomach disintegrate.
"Why would I—" she then looked at the mess on Athena's dress and let out a raucous snort of laughter. "Oh my god! How embarrassing is that."
Malfoy shot her one last annoying, vile grin before swooping away onto the dance floor with Pansy clung by his side.
"Fucking stupid ferret," she muttered to herself, trying to cover up the mess on her dress by folding the fabric over itself.
She edged over to Harry and Ron who were sitting by themselves, sulking over the awful night they were apparently having. She sought to join them, now that her night was practically ruined.
"Alright?" Harry asked, raising his eyebrows.
She unfolded her dress, letting them both see for themselves.
"Courtesy of Malfoy," she sighed, slumping down beside Harry.
"Utter git," Ron huffed, staring viciously at something in the far off distance, as if he was trying to explode someone's head. She followed his eyes to Viktor Krum and Hermione, both wrapped up in all the ecstasy of fun.
"Who? Malfoy or Krum?" she smirked, giving him a pointed look when he tore his eyes away from them, appearing embarrassed.
"Er—both," he sulked.
After a while, once a few more songs ended, a couple approached the three of them, and Athena's heart rate picked up at the sight.
Cedric Diggory and Cho Chang, both looking exhausted, walked over to them from the dance floor.
Harry suddenly straightened in his seat, fidgeting with the sleeve of his robes.
"Hiya," Cho smiled at them.
"HI!" Harry beamed back, a bit too excitedly. He blushed with embarrassment.
"I'm bloody shattered," Cedric sighed, slumping down on the empty seat beside Athena. She did everything she could not to display her awkwardness, but simultaneously didn't allow herself to even look at him. Else she would blush a vibrant red.
God, he smelled good.
"Harry, are you up for a dance?" Cho asked. "If Cedric doesn't mind."
Cedric shook his head, permitting the two of them to go on.
"Er—yeah! Of course," he smiled, standing immediately. Athena smirked discreetly, watching almost proudly as Harry waded off into the midst of the dance floor with Cho.
Ron huffed from beside her, before he stood up and took himself over to the drink stand.
"Having a good night?" Cedric's voice came.
She didn't expect him to speak to her.
He'd never spoken to her before.
"Er—yeah. I mean I was—until—" she stopped herself shortly. "Well it's a bit embarrassing actually."
"I'm not one to judge," he smiled, sweetly. Her heart fluttered in her chest and she had to force herself to look away.
"Well, I spilt some punch down my dress," she told him, unfolding the fabric so he could see. "My wand is in my room so I can't really clean it up."
"Oh dear. You know, good thing about suits is that they have pockets. I can clear it up for you if you'd like," he suggested.
"Really?"
"'Course," he grinned before pulling his wand out of his pocket and aiming it as her dress. He cast a cleaning charm and the pink stain disappeared.
"Thank you so much," she rejoiced, melting internally at the pleased expression on his face.
"No problem," he said. "Anyway I better go and whisk back my date before Potter steals her away. Have a good night."
"You too."
She watched him stand up and dance his way into the crowd of people, staying put for a while, before standing herself and rejoining the fun.
She felt colder when her eyes opened, awakening from the dream of her memories. She usually didn't feel the cold anymore. It had become default and she was always so cold.
There were drying tracks from tears running down her cheeks. Her heart was heavy.
The only thing she could do now to prevent her mind from slipping into nothingness was cling onto more of those memories. Even if they were painful to remember.
Another came to the forefront of her mind.
It was a warm night at the end of May, Draco and Athena both lounging up in the Astronomy Tower as they usually tended to do.
There was probably enough alcohol in her system to supply a banquet of people. But whatever. They didn't care. Didn't need to.
She was lying down, head in his lap whilst his fingers nestled through her hair rather possessively, playing absentmindedly with each strand.
Beyond his face, she set her eyes upon the star-scattered sky, all twinkling above like tiny lamps. She liked observing the stars. She'd always found such comfort in it.
Looking for constellations was the most thrilling thing about it. Where Hogwarts was located, she could see plenty.
Her eyes scanned the sky back and forth, until she recollected the many star and constellation charts she had to fill in for Astronomy, and spotted one.
The Gemini constellation threaded above, recognisable only to those eyes that would know what to look for.
"Look," she uttered, pointing above at the night sky.
His hand brushed against her jaw tenderly, apparently not quite receiving her command.
"Above—look," she repeated, sitting up and tearing herself out of his hold.
His eyes followed her hand to the stars and he just stared blankly.
"What am I looking at?"
She huffed. "You see those stars above—"
"No, I must be blind," he scoffed, sarcastically.
She rolled her eyes, letting out a laugh. She cut straight to the point, knowing he would never be able to differentiate between them.
"You can see the Gemini constellation," she informed, making a vague attempt to point out the shape and connections. "Those two really bright stars are Castor and Pollux."
"Wow," he exaggeratedly gasped, snaking his arm around her shoulders, apparently wanting to hold her again.
"You're a Gemini," she smiled.
"The fuck is a Gemini?"
She laughed, "Your sign! You were born in early June, making you a Gemini."
He stared at her blankly, as if she was talking in another language.
"I've got no bloody clue what you're going on about." His face then nuzzled into the crook of her neck when his lips pressed against her jugular. She sighed pleasurably at the pleasant sting of his kisses, before recollecting herself.
"You seriously don't know?"
He shook his head, distracted by her throat and her hair which was nestled through his fingers again.
She made a brief attempt to explain it to him, tracing back to what she had heard about them in third year when everyone in Gryffindor had become obsessed with their horoscopes.
"So what are you?" he asked, pretending not to be interested at all.
"A Sagittarius. It's funny, in third year everyone was obsessed. Witch Weekly always had a segment on the daily horoscopes. We used to always look up our compatibility with the other signs. Relationship wise and all."
"So what about our compatibility, Gemini and Saggi—" he struggled to finish, which made her chuckle.
"Complicated," she smirked. He raised his eyebrows, snorting.
After a moment, he spoke again, holding her more closely and possessively than before. "And er—what about Diggory? What's he?"
"A Libra," she said, trying to hide her smirk.
"Well—are you compatible?"
She knew they were. She'd made sure to look that up in third year.
She nodded, bracingly.
He scoffed, shaking his head. "Sounds like a whole load of bollocks to me."
He pretended not to be bothered, but she could see straight through him.
"You're not seriously going to sulk over this all night, are you?" she laughed.
"I don't know? What would a Gemini do?" he mocked, taking another swig of his firewhiskey.
"Probably react the exact way you are."
She noticed the left corner of his mouth creep up, but he recovered this quickly by forcing a frown, thinking she hadn't noticed his urge to smile.
In fact, the very next day she would find him in the library with the book 'Astrology and The Signs' in his hands.
She found more constellations, minor ones, and pointed them out to Draco. He pretended to be interested for her amusement, but she could tell he probably wasn't even listening. Just watching her.
"I like the way you look at me," she whispered, her head once again in his lap, gazing up into those luminous grey eyes.
"And how do I look at you?" he smirked, the firewhiskey present in his tone.
"Like I'm the only thing you see."
"That's because you are. No amount of stars in this fucking universe could compare to you."
Her heart clenched beautifully at his words. She was melting all the same beneath him.
"You wouldn't be saying that if you weren't completely wasted," she chuckled.
"I'm not drunk."
She sprang up, throwing her arms around his shoulders, spreading her hands around the nape of his neck and leaning into him, feeling extremely light headed herself.
"Oh you so are!"
His lips folded into a line, as if he was trying to determine what to say.
"Fine then. It repulses me how in love with you I am."
She let out an abrupt laugh, before leaning further into his chest, allowing her head to be caught in his hands, his fingers framing her face, brushing lightly against her skin. His touch felt like home.
"Likewise," she uttered, before his hands brought her lips to his.
Her mind was led to another.
It was midnight on the fifth of June.
Draco was half asleep, unbothered that it was his birthday.
"Draco," she whispered, perching up on her elbows, resting her chin on his chest.
His eyes flickered open, pleasantly surprised to see her face in front of his. He smirked, attempting to pull her closer to him.
"Happy birthday," she smiled, placing a kiss on his cheek, then his lips.
His eyes widened when she said the words and he looked utterly shocked when she pulled a gift out in front of her, tossing it onto his chest.
"Greene, why would you—"
"Shut up, just open it," she rolled her eyes, smirking.
He unwrapped the gift, pulling out the thin piece of glass that lay inside. A bewildered expression fell upon his face.
"What the—?"
"It's an Astronomy Viewer. I got it at the gift shop down at Hogsmeade. It was the last one left."
He held the glass up, trying to peer through the thin lens.
"If you hold it up to the night sky, it will show you every constellation, planet and star that's above you. Now I won't need to tell you. I dunno—I thought it was a good idea."
He looked at the gift for a while longer, then to her face.
"This is cool as fuck," he grinned. "Merlin, Greene."
She could've sworn she saw the glossy film of tears in his eyes. Must have been hallucinating.
"No one's ever given me a gift before. Not like this," he said, and it saddened her to hear that. "—fucking hell, I hate how much I love you sometimes."
He wrapped his arms around her frame, bringing her body closely against his. She buried her head into the crook of his neck, breathing in his idyllic scent.
"Now over the summer, when we're apart, you can hold that up to the sky and think of me," she joked, dramatically.
"Who says we're gonna be apart over the summer?"
Looking back, the irony was almost laughable. It was a whole mess of emotions, all resulting in the same mundane pain. She just wished she had known then. She could have prevented all of this.
But she would never have been with him. And that seemed so much worse.
"I have a question," Draco announced, after silently watching her while she scrawled study notes into her book.
"Mhm," she hummed, agreeably.
"If you could pick any place—literally anywhere in the world to be for the rest of your life, where would it be?"
She paused her writing to look up at him, intrigued by his spontaneous question.
She knew the answer immediately.
"My childhood home," she replied. "Before my father died, we used to live in a chalet that was perched upon this massive lake. I can hardly remember it now. I do know that it was in the Lake District. From what I can remember, it was such a beautiful place."
"Why did you leave?"
"Well, after my dad died, my mum couldn't stand to be there without him. So we left it all behind. Packed up and moved to London. I believe we still own it. It's just kind of sat there now. I'm fairly certain it still has Dumbledore's protection on it so only those who know the exact location would be able to find it. My mother would know, but I don't think she could ever bring herself to go back. I'd love to though."
He nodded, interested in her answer.
"What about you?" she asked.
He smirked, before replying, "I think you'll find I'll be anywhere that you are."
The memories were all she had left.
She had attempted to keep them away, and had never been able to so much as allow herself to think of them. It's what her Occlumency did.
Because the memories had been pain, and she couldn't possibly deal with more of it.
But she couldn't slip away. Not yet. She submerged herself in the pain just to keep breathing. To feel something so strongly only to keep her alive.
The sound of the cellar door opening jolted her out of her sleepy state, coming back to reality for the first time in days.
And it certainly had been days since someone had last come into the cellar.
She expected food, grimacing at the thought of the emptiness of her stomach.
But instead, two figures were thrown inside. One exceptionally tall and the other peculiarly short. Her eyes struggled to focus on the newcomers who had apparently just been locked in with them.
She realised that the short one was a goblin and the tall was a Wizard she knew all too well.
"Dean!" she choked, having not spoken for a while. Her throat was raw like sandpaper.
She attempted to stretch herself up, to stand, but was unsuccessful as her head rushed and she was knocked back against the wall again.
"Athena?" he squinted, approaching her immediately. "Oh my god! You're—you're alive!"
She frowned.
Had she been confirmed dead?
Oh no. That wasn't good at all.
"Luna!" Dean gaped, looking over at the girl who was slumped against the opposite wall to Athena. "You guys—you're—Oh my god!"
She noticed the goblin strut off into the corner, keeping to himself while Dean crouched beside the girls.
Dean had never returned to Hogwarts after the summer. They'd never known where he'd gone.
"Why do they have us here? What's going on?" he asked, clearly panicking. "How long have you been here?"
"Dean, Dean..." she attempted to slow him down, but he was too exasperated.
She slipped her frail, cold hand into his and squeezed tightly. She knew she probably looked horrifying, but he didn't seem to be avoiding eye contact with her.
"Take a deep breath," she smiled, reassuringly.
He inhaled and exhaled a few times, clearly impatient for answers.
"We're imprisoned in the cellar of Malfoy Manor. There's no way out and no one can hear us. I'm sorry. I can't say what lies ahead for us. All we can do is wait and see."
Her words were not supposed to comfort him and they surely didn't. There was nothing left within her spirit to try and make this situation better than it was.
He threw his head into his hands, rocking back and forth into a panic.
"Dean—" she started. "What day is it? What's the date?"
He looked up at her, most likely confused that this question was what she viewed as priority.
"Er—Tuesday the seventh of March," he said.
March.
She had been there for two months.
"Why did you think I was dead?" she asked.
"I kind of assumed that you could've been. I've been tuning into Potter Watch and a few months ago they confirmed your disappearance. Both of you," he informed them.
"Where have you been all this time then?"
"All over the bloody place. I was with a few others—this man called Ted Tonks. He knew Potter. I dunno if you knew him. He's er—he's dead now I think," he frowned, regretfully.
She'd heard his name crop up before, but she'd never met the man.
"I'm sorry. That's awful," Luna said.
They conversed over nothing for a while, allowing the silence to settle.
"Got some good news for you, if you wanna hear it," he smiled, faintly. They nodded, desperate for good news. "Last I heard on Potter Watch, apparently Death Eaters have been going missing. Some were found again but not in good condition. Tortured, losing their memories and shit like that. The Death Eaters think it's the Order but apparently no one from the Order is doing such a thing. Seems a bit odd."
This piece of news was rather underwhelming, but it was still news. Something after months of nothing.
"So you've both been here—what? Since January, December?"
They nodded.
"Christ. Did you say this is Malfoy's place we're in?" he asked.
Athena nodded, forcing herself not to react.
"He doesn't know we're down here," Luna informed, making an attempt to redeem Draco in Dean's mind. "Else we might actually have a chance of getting out."
"Bloody hell," he sighed. "What is this fucking war?"
It was rhetorical. None of them could have responded even if they tried. They were dragged through the midst of the war, completely uninvolved. Collateral damage for the greater good.
-
sixty first chapter complete
i'm a cancer♋️ wbu?