The Group Chat (Marauders AU)

By reject_20

595K 16.6K 10.5K

The five Marauders have a group chat. This should be fun, right? More

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14 years later

113

2K 81 56
By reject_20

instagram

reg-black just made a post.

❤️: jade_potter, sirius-black, 800 others.

regulus-black: pretty lady💛
tagged: _anka_

comments have been turned off for this post.

...

🖕🏼the pack🖕🏼

regulus added anka

baby black🥺🖤
anka
i'm sorry in advanced...

sister❤️
oh god
why
regulus
we don't want to traumatize the poor girl
frank and you don't have a choice
but her?
she has one

puppy🐕🖤
it's too late
she already knows about the pack
the other option is death

frankenstein🧟‍♂️✨
nice job scaring the poor girl sirius
great job
five fucking starts

best black👯‍♀️
someone bring the newspapers
or parchment

sent a video!

anka🌹
okay that was extremely hilarious!
so far i'm loving it!
and jade
thanks for the runes notes
i think i'll finally ace that class and owls too

that's great to hear, anka!
glad i could help

lion bitch🦁❤️
FUCK YES
REG'S LADY FRIEND IS HERE
ITS ABOUT TIME

my moony🌙❤️
JAMES
DONT SCARE THE LADY
anka
welcome to the pack
i am so sorry for what you signed up for

anka🌹
can someone please give me a rundown?
i know about the marauders and queens
hence i grew up going to grimmuald place all the time
and i obviously know jade, sirius and solis
but you guys are really kept to yourselves
and lowkey terrifying at times

blondie👯‍♀️
i'm the raging homosexual

puppy🐕🖤
i'm the simp

angel🥺❤️
i'm the angel who satan corrupted

my moony🌙❤️
i'm the sane one

wormy🐭✨
i'm the child

frankenstein🧟‍♂️✨
i'm the jock dating the corrupted angel

sister❤️
i'm the scary ginger

lion bitch🦁❤️
i'm the one who runs on adrenaline
and sometimes looks like a crackhead

i'm satan
and one half of the danger twins

best black👯‍♀️
i'm the other half
and the one full of chaos
jade is destruction

baby black🥺🖤
and i'm the other child
mostly jade's
i think that covered everything right?

my moony🌙❤️
i think so
anka
you with us?

anka🌹
yeah
i think
and my role is going to be?

my other child

puppy🐕🖤
are you going to keep adopting children?

fine
then get me the baby cow that we've been talking about

puppy🐕🖤
anyone else want to be vix's child?

☹️

puppy🐕🖤
what now?

i want a cow😞

lion bitch🦁❤️
where tf would you even keep a cow?

the manor
i'll live on a farm
idc
i want a baby cow🥺

puppy🐕🖤
after we graduate
i'll think about it
for now
my animagus is enough

anka🌹
everyone here is animagi?

baby black🥺🖤
except for sunny
which you already know about
remus, frank and i aren't

my moony🌙❤️
she knows?

best black👯‍♀️
dude
she's been a family friend for years
the four of us practically grew up together
so yeah
she knows
anka
rem is the other one

anka🌹
i kinda put the pieces together when i saw the same mood swings you get the night before
it's okay remus
i won't tell

my moony🌙❤️
i appreciate it
regulus
marry the lady

MISTRESS

my moony🌙❤️
SORRY

anka🌹
mistress?

wormy🐭✨
long story
basically remus is jade's mistress and he's dating sunny
but jade is engaged to sirius
and we're all okay with it
and she also married marlene
we just roll with it

anka🌹
ah
i get it
so
the animagi?

lion bitch🦁❤️
we have names that symbolize our patronus and animagus
i'm prongs
and i'm a majestic stag

blondie👯‍♀️
no you're not
you're a dumbass stag
i'm crookshanks and i'm the ginger cat you see wrestling mrs norris every week

anka🌹
you're my fucking idol marlene!

blondie👯‍♀️
reg
i like her even more with each passing moment

sister❤️
same here
i'm speckles and i'm a doe

puppy🐕🖤
anka already knows mine but they call me padfoot

and snuffles if you're me

anka🌹
cute🥺

he hates it
but idc

anka🌹
figured

angel🥺❤️
i'm corvus and i'm a raven

wormy🐭✨
wormtail and i'm a rat

and i'm vixen
and you guessed it
i'm a fox
a black one to be more specific

anka🌹
so the one i see also fighting mrs norris?

the very same
crookshanks and i like to keep all of you entertained

anka🌹
and the other cat?

SEE
IM NOT CRAZY
MINNIE FIGHTS HER TOO

anka🌹
minnie?

baby black🥺🖤
mcgonagall
they call her minnie
they're her children basically
and she recently adopted me too

lion bitch🦁❤️
i don't mean to be a downer
but there's kinda an initiation that anka has to go through in order to be one of us

anka🌹
and that is

best black👯‍♀️
a prank
the twelve of us
today's hot topic:
beauxbatons
we really should give durmstrang a break

blondie👯‍♀️
and i was just warning up to sing careless whisper tonight😞

lion bitch🦁❤️
give it a rest crookshanks

never
tonight
we're singing abba

anka🌹
i'm down👀

sister❤️
👁👄👁
REGULUS
I LOVE THIS GIRL
OKAY OKAY
I GOT EXCITED

frankenstein🧟‍♂️✨
the usual?

plus the fake blood
kinda like a april fools prank
the day before april fools

my moony🌙❤️
and tomorrow
what are we doing?

wormy🐭✨
absolutely nothing
they'll be tense as hell all day just waiting for us to do something

lion bitch🦁❤️
and we'll be doing absolutely nothing
they'll be shitting their pants

puppy🐕🖤
it feels weird not doing anything on april fools
but it'll be so worth it

anka🌹
what would you have me do?

ever worked with a dung bomb?

anka🌹
yeah
the time me and reg bombed walburga's bedroom when we were five

👁👄👁
god i love you
okay
you've worked with a dungbomb
but not a homemade one😌

anka🌹
you guys make your own bombs?

sister❤️
yep
mostly the marauders
they like to do the dirty work
vixen here just sits back and barks orders at them

and step in when they inevitably fuck things up

lion bitch🦁❤️
HEY!

my moony🌙❤️
it's true tho...

best black👯‍♀️
it really is
btw
i've got the gallon of fake blood
where do we want it?

baby black🥺🖤
filch's office as usual

frankenstein🧟‍♂️✨
are we sure it's fake?
you and jade bought it

of course it's fake dumbass
who tf would i kill?

blondie👯‍♀️
the list is long...
has anyone checked the map lately?

wormy🐭✨
nobody's dead crookshanks

blondie👯‍♀️
just making sure
frank
it's fake

frankenstein🧟‍♂️✨
good
so what
we make it look like a crime scene?

anka🌹
fake murder?

baby black🥺🖤
yes and no sweetheart

lion bitch🦁❤️
we just set it up for tomorrow
watch them piss their pants and skirts
we laugh
and then we follow our special schedule

anka🌹
which is?

best black👯‍♀️
no pranks
none at all
no hexes
no nothing
we act somewhat normal for once
watch them run around like headless chickens
it's practically foolproof

anka🌹
it's bloody brilliant!

thanks
sunny and i came up with it
so anka
you in?

anka🌹
filch's office in five
i've got ideas too

baby black🥺🖤
👁👄👁
i have a feeling you'll get along with these assholes just fine

anka🌹
you can bet your ass i will

angel🥺❤️
i love her
i love her so much
we must protect her at all cost

best black👯‍♀️
i couldn't agree more

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