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I deserved better.
Raphael's pov
"That's your fault, that's all your fault," I whispered, looking at her sleeping form, "if you behaved I wouldn't have to punish you, now look what you made me do!"
I huffed, before letting go of the belt and looking at the damage I've done on her back. It looked bloody, making me curse.
"Fuck," I muttered, feeling dizzy with the alcohol in my system, I staggered to the bathroom, taking a towel, before damping it with tap water.
Then, I tottered back to the bedroom, and headed to the bed. Raising her shirt, I cleaned her back. After I was done, I placed a kiss on her back, mumbling, "We could avoid that piccola, if you just behaved."
Sighing, I decided to get her some herbal lotion for her ripped back. Rubbing my face to get sober, I left the room.
And I frowned as I opened the door, seeing Zia in her pajamas before our bedroom door, her little body stretched as her hand was reaching for the door handle.
"What are you doing here? Where is the nanny?" I asked her, looking down on her.
Putting her hand down, and fiddling with her little hands in front of her, she mumble, "She tuck me in bed before going with Lucy to tuck her in bed in her bedroom."
"And what are you doing here? Why are you not in your bed?" I asked her next, cocking my head.
Looking down, she muttered, "I wanted to do my nappy time with mommy." She tried to look into the room but I closed the door.
"Your mommy was tired and fell asleep, she doesn't have time for you now," I told her, and she looked at me with a pout. "Can I just lie next to mommy?" she asked me, whining.
"You can't, I don't want you to bother your mommy—"
"Please daddy!" she pleaded, almost crying.
"No!" I gritted out, not liking how she cut me off, getting slowly annoyed by her whining. "And don't interrupt me again, it's disrespectful!"
"Okay," she pouted, tears running down her face, making me groan.
"And stop crying, I thought you were a big girl, weren't you?" I asked her, grabbing her by her wrist, dragging her back to her room. Nodding her head, she wiped her tears off with her other hand.
"Good," I said contently, entering her room, putting her on her bed, "since you're a big girl you can surely sleep also without your mommy."
Pouting, she looked at me with tears in her eyes, a bubble snot getting out of her fucking nose, I glared at her disgusted. Cursing in Italian, I took a tissue from the nightstand.
"Listen, Zia, I really have no time to deal with you now," I told her annoyed, wiping her fucking nose, "I need you to be a big girl and take your nap by yourself! And listen to the nanny, this woman is kind enough to look after you, the least you can do is to not go against her, like wandering around after she tuck you in bed!"
"Daddy, you're hurting my nose!" she cried, rubbing her nose that was a little red now. "Then, wipe it yourself," I gave her the tissue, "and did you get what I said?"
Crumbling the tissue in her hands, she looked at me, sulking, before nodding her head. "Then, have a good nappy time and don't bother your mom!" I warned her strictly before leaving the room.
As I left the room, I saw Draven in the hall, walking in my direction. "And? Did your Gremlin also run away from her nap-time?" he asked me amused, seeing me walking out from Zia's room.
"She wanted to nap with her mother, but Calina needs to rest, her illness makes her exhausted and tired," I told him sadly.
"And? What's the problem? Let her nap with her mother," he claimed confused. Well, the problem was the marks on her back, and the fact that she shouldn't see them as she was three, and didn't have a filter, like her goddamn mother.
"Calina sleeps almost naked, and I don't want my daughter to see the bruises on her body and scare her off," I told him, sighing dramatically. Putting a hand on my shoulder, he said encouragingly, "Don't be down, she'll get better."
"Thank you, I appreciate your efforts as a friend," I thanked him, "and it's actually good that our ways crossed, I wanted to ask you something."
"What?"
"Can Lucy's nanny look after Zia until dinner? I have to go out and I don't want to wake Calina up ... I really want her to rest as she looks so tired lately and is sleeping now peacefully ..."
"Of course! Go, and don't be worrying yourself, she's in good hands," he agreed, nodding his head.
"Alright, I'll be back in a few hours!"
I wanted to get the lotion by myself in order to show her I was sorry, even if her condition was her fault. And I had a flight to arrange.
"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, I arranged her doctors appointment after dinner," he informed me. "That soon?" I asked him surprised. "The sooner the better, or?" he asked me back, tilting his head.
"Yes," I agreed, "that's also why I have to fly to Russia to talk with her brother's and see anyone of them is matching her."
"When are you flying?" he asked me. "Probably after her doctor's appointment, I don't want to leave her alone," I told him, playing the caring husband.
"Alright," he muttered, nodding his head, "I'll take care of them the best way possible, until you'll be back, don't worry."
"Thanks, and I don't," I calimed as I knew he was a man of his word, until you betrayed him, then, he'd get very nasty.
"I'll leave now, I have a flight to arrange." I told him and he nodded his head before I turned on my heel and left.
FEW HOURS LATER
DINNER TIME
Calina's pov
I woke up feeling pain all over my back. Groaning, I opened my eyes, lifting my head from the pillow and looking around.
I guess he left, after I blacked out and spoiled his fun yesterday. Frowning, I wondered how far he would go yesterday since he knew no boundaries. Propping myself up on my elbows, I slowly tried to get up and sit down.
Forgetting the condition of my back for a second, I leaned against the bedpost when I got a little dizzy after getting up.
"Fuck! Not a good idea," I hissed, immediately straightening up as my back hit the bedpost and pain shot through my back. Then, my gaze fell on the bedside table with medicine and soothing cream on it.
"Fuck you, Raphael," I said as I felt anger build up inside of me.
I was mad at myself for letting him hurt me again. I hated how weak I was. I hated how weak my body was. I hated the way he could suppress me. I hated that I lost no matter how hard I fought against him.
I hated that I needed him.
The feeling of being dependent on a man who tarnished my body and my soul, and was using me as he desired, made me feel like a dirty shoe, it just destroyed my self-esteem and respect for myself.
Sighing tiredly, I took the pain killers and the glass of water that he probably put on the bedside table before I swallowed them and drank the water.
Then, I took the soothing cream from the bedside table and slowly got up from the bed, leaning on the bedpost as I got up to support myself.
My clothes were still on. I think he was no longer necrophilic. I walked slowly to the bathroom, which fortunately was connected to the bedroom as I didn't want to go through the halls and risk my daughter seeing me like this.
As I entered the bathroom, I locked the door behind me before undressing. I prevented myself from looking in the mirror as I didn't want to see how bad my back looked.
I got in and just turned the water cold as I wanted to numb my pain with cold water. When the water started showering over my body and the water droplets hit my back, I winced in pain before crying as the pain was too much.
Blood ran down my body as the water ran down my back and all over my body. "Stop crying," I sobbed as I leaned my forehead against the cold shower wall. "You won't shed a single tear for him. He's not worth it. You won't let him hurt you. You won't let him get to you."
After a while, I calmed down and stopped crying. I stayed numb in the shower until my whole body felt cold from the cold water before getting out.
Then, I grabbed a towel and dried myself carefully before going to the sink where a mirror was attached to the wall, knowing that I couldn't prevent looking at myself anymore as I had to put the soothing cream on my back, or I would wince in pain with every step I would take.
I dropped the towel that I had wrapped around my body on the floor. And my jaw clenched as I saw my condition. I looked terrible.
Some of the bruises were from cancer. But there were several other bruises from him. My wrists were bruised from the tie he put around my wrists when he attacked and abused yesterday.
My neck was bruised too, I remembered him grabbing my neck as he demanded me to tell him that I loved him. Sick bastard.
I would never love him. I couldn't love him. Every time I looked at him, I saw the agony he pulled me through. And every time I remembered something he did to me, I felt nothing but hatred for him. And I'd never ever fall for his toxicity, I'd never fall for him.
Biting my lip, I turned and looked at my back. My skin was ripped open. The wounds were deep. It seemed like he didn't hold back at all while whipping me like an animal. Though, what he did to me yesterday was something humans wouldn't even do to animals.
I knew I provoked and pissed him off yesterday. He hated that he couldn't get his way with me. He got mad as I didn't submit and give in. And I'd never give in to him.
Sighing, I opened the tube and started applying the cream on my back. Every time I put some cream into the deep wounds, I winced. I just hoped I wouldn't get an infection.
As I was done, I sighed exhausted. I closed my eyes for a second before opening them again when someone knocked on the door. "Calina?" I heard his voice and my jaw clenched.
The audacity of this asshole to call for me after what he did do me. Huffing, I took the towel off the floor before wrapping it around my body. Then I went to the door, hissing from there, "What the hell do you want?"
"I want to see if you are okay," he claimed as the door handle wobbled and the door began to shake. Knowing he wouldn't fuck off easily, I unlocked the door and saw him standing in front of me.
"Fuck off and leave me be!" I snapped, looking into his eyes. My attitude made him look at me angrily.
"You see, piccola, that's our problem, that's why you're hurt now," he claimed before leaning closer to me. "You can't behave! And I see even after yesterday you still can't behave!"
I gritted my teeth, as he looked at me warningly, telling me with his eyes told me not to provoke him anymore, but I wasn't going to shut up and accept that yesterday was my fault.
"Why are you looking at me that way, huh? Do you think I'd get scared of you after you flogged me yesterday? That I'd submit to you? If so, I have to disappoint you, it takes more than beating to shut me up! And the problem is you, you fucking sadist, not me!"
"A sadist you came back to voluntarily and are dependent on! Be glad that I accepted you back, shut up, and wear something to cover up the bruises on your neck. We're going to see the doctor Draven arranged today after dinner."
Chuckling, lost by his audacity to tell me to cover up, I said, "What if I don't want to cover up my bruises? Why should I cover up something that is your work? People should see and know what a monster you are!"
Having enough of my defiant demeanor, he grabbed my neck to pull me closer, and hissed, "Yes, let them see my work! Let Draven and everyone see my work! Don't let them just see, tell them too! But then, my dear friend, who is waiting for us at dinner, will throw us out of his house as he's not a fan of drama, since he's had enough with his late wife. Then, the problem you have caused will be more difficult to fix without his help! And that will be the last straw for me, piccola! Then, I'll take my daughter and go back to the UK and you can solve your problem here yourself!"
Gasping, I shook my head, no, he couldn't, he couldn't separate me from my daughter. "You can't take my daughter away from me!" I told him scared.
Grinning, he cocked his head before saying, "If you won't start acting like an obedient little wife, I will have to, because I've really had enough of your bratty attitude!"
Looking at him defeated, I tried to keep the tears from falling from my eyes. My daughter was my everything. She was my life. Zia was like the oxygen I needed to breathe to stay alive.
And he knew that too. He saw the love I had for my daughter and now used it against me. He knew the only reason I would do anything he asked me was my daughter.
"Alright! I'll behave! Just don't take my daughter away from me," I said defeated, which made him smile triumphantly.
"Ah, here we go," he said with a smirk as he wiped my tears with one hand while his other hand was still on my neck. "If you could behave from the start we could save all this unnecessary drama."
Then, he leaned over and kissed me as I barely held back not to push him away and slap his face hard like he deserved.
I held myself back for my daughter. I endured his lips on mine and his hands on my body just for my daughter.
Only for my daughter.
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