- Various Mcyt x Suicidal! Reader -
"I just wanna be free y'know?"
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I was playing minecraft with Tommy, Tuboo, Ranboo, Wilbur and Philza being idiots trying stupid mods like this one mod where we were different sizes like when tommy just decided to be a titan ahaha,
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I was a young little girl who used to be perfect, I was smart, Kind, Supporting and other more that people wised to be but... as I grew I slowly turned cold, rude, selfish, and other more that people didn't want to be
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After playing with the others we said our goodbyes and just decided to play again tomorrow
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The red liquid makes a small but addicting sound as it drops to the bathroom floor, I look at my wrist then look at myself, I had bags under my eyes, my hair was a mess,
I was shirtless only wearing a black sports bra and some short shorts, I had cuts and bruises all over my thin but tiny figure, Blood then started to fall from some of the cuts
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I quickly opened my bathroom cabinets and took the first aid kit and started to clean myself up, After doing so I looked myself in the mirror once more
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I had bags under my eyes, Hair a mess, bruises everywhere, bandages everywhere
I was a complete mess.
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I woke up as usual but slightly wincing due to my recent cuts, I get up getting my laptop open straight a head and started my classes
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Everything was the same, The teacher talking nonsense as I just sit on the other side of the screen, I couldn't heard anything, Why?
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After class, I studied my notes, Finish my homework and submitted them, After I put the school stuff away and took a shower changing my clothes to some shorts and a oversized hoodie
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I start up my PC and opened Minecraft and discord and saw Ranboo and Philza in a Voice call together so I decided to join them seens I had nothing to do anyways
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"Hey guys" I said "Hey Y/n" They greeted back to me "Your already done with school kid?" Philza asked as I hummed in agreement joining them "What are you guys doing?" I asked
"Hmm? Oh I'm just getting blocks y'know" Ranboo said "Yeah I'm just upgrading some of my stuff nothing much" Philza also said as I hummed and spawned at my house beside my bed where I left off
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Its been 4 whole weeks, I couldn't take it anymore
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DING
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"Hey Philza" I said "yeah? Why'd you call me?" "Philza is it weird that I wanna die?" I asked as there was only silence "What?.." He said I inhale some air before speaking
"Philza I don't think im okay anymore" "Why is that kid?.." "Philza.. I'm not myself anymore, I have grown cold, I am slowly losing all my energy to do the most effortless things in life"
"Hey.. Its ok tell me.. Tell me everything.. What's wrong kid?"
"Philza I use to be the most perfect little girl, I was beautiful, smart, kind and all sorts of things but as I grew.. I turned to things people never wanted or wished existed
I started to starve myself Philza, I would only drink water thats all, I would cut myself over and over again, I have bruises, Bandages, and cuts all over my body"
Then there was a pause
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"Philza is it bad that I have tried to kill myself multiple times?"
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"Sorry if I'm being dramatic, I'll go sorry for wasting your time bye"
"No no, Its not weird, Your not weird or dramatic but stay here and talk to me kid, Tell me what's happening there kid, I'll sit here and listen and don't worry about wasting my time, I have all the time in the world to do the other stuff but what we should focus right now is you"
Then I started to explain and tell him everything, The suicide attempts, Self Harm, Starvation, And other more
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"Why is it you wanna die so bad?" He asked
"I just wanna be free y'know"
"I wanna be like a bird, Just flying not having to worry about anything at all, Just fly around in peace with nothing stopping me" I said smiling
I then turned my camera on as tears started to fall
"Philza I'm so sorry"
"Sorry for what?"
I grabbed the sleeping pills and the glass of water and started to chug everything down,
"Y/N!?! NO NO STOP!"
I continued to swallow the entire pill bottle and glass of water, I look to the camera and saw Philza crying, I smile
"I'm so sorry but this will be our last time ever talking to each other ever again" I said with tears flowing down smiling
"W-what do you mean y/n?!?.." He said
"Tell everyone I'll truly miss them and love them, Good bye Philza"
I said as he continued to cry and scream telling me to stop, I then pulled out a knife from my pockets, I get up removing my hoodie as Philza continued to cry and scream
I smile at the camera and stabbed myself my eyes go wide as blood continued to spill, I removed the knife and stabbed myself once more
NO NO NO NO Y/N!!
Goodbye Philza tell everyone I'll miss them
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Darkness then took over as I fell to the ground smiling as tears fall