"You know what you are? A child. I fell in love with a boy who doesnt understand how to treat me. I was ready to love you, and your still growing up!" I screamed at Kais face. He was distraught, but he didn't seem to be as hurt as he should be.
So I kept screaming.
"While I'm out doing everything for you, and for myself your stuck in your pity party past trying to become the man you wish you were." I smiled and leaned away from him. "The man your father wouldve hated." I spat, that made his expression change tremendously. "It sucks you had to kill him to feel like the bigger person. Its actually kind of... embarrassing, dont you think, my prince?" I hissed through my teeth. "I mean you hated yourself so much- you hated what you made yourself turn into so much, you killed him."
"Raya, calm down." He mumbled, I refused and kept going.
"You know who else you killed?" I asked leaning into him again. "You killed my father, what because... because you threw a little tantrum about a girl you didnt even love?! About a girl who you dont even care for! How pathetic are you, Malachai? You killed my whole family, and you basically killed Ben too." I spat. He looked at me disgusted.
"I did not touch that child! I would never hurt him, ever. For you to even throw that in my face is ridiculous! You know I-!" He cut himself off, I raised an eyebrow. "You know I loved him, I took care of him, I helped you raise him. For you to even say that his death is even partially my fault is an insult."
"If you hadn't kissed me, Malachai! If you hadn't kept forcing yourself onto me while Damon was dead, this wouldve never happened! I wouldve been happy, isnt that all you've ever wanted? I shouldve just waited six more months, because then Damon wouldve came back! My family would still be alive! I wouldve been who I'm supposed to be with, not just Damon but with Ben too! Damon was supposed to help me with Ben. Damon! Your just some lowlife excuse for a father." I screamed in his face, and I meant every word I said.
"Who your supposed to be? Raya that is complete bullshit and you fucking know it! And I didnt force shit onto! Sure, I was persistent but everything we did was consensual! I asked everytime and you were always ok with it! I was persistent because I love you and I want to be with you! I'm also still so fucking confused how you think Damon's doing is my fault!"
"Because you kissed me in front of him! Repeatedly! You pushed your feelings onto me and I fell into your damn trap, along the way I lost the two people I loved the most because you couldn't respect my wants!"
"I pushed my feelings onto you?! If you didnt want me you wouldnt be mine! You lost Damon because you didnt want him! And Ben died because you finally listen to yourself and gave into what you wanted! You were perfectly happy with me during our amazing months without Damon, and you didn't have a care in the world! I make you feel free, more than what you've ever felt before and you cant deny that! I am not the reason Ben is dead, you are not the reason Ben is dead, Damon is! So just get the fuck over yourself about Damon!" He yelled at me and didnt look at me.
Humanity leaked through my veins and I felt my eyes start to tear up.
Snap out of it.
I chuckled as I passed him, I put my hand on his shoulder and walked behind him. Dragging my fingers along his back.
"Of course yous feel that way, my prince. Because your are so insecure about yourself, about us." I giggled, I could feel him fuming as I walked away.
I had won.
I startled myself into reality as my memory hazed away.
I swerved on the road as my body forced me to sanity, the guilt hadn't rushed back to me like I wouldve thought.
Not just about the blood spilt on my account, but all the harsh things I said to Kai.
Deep down I knew that he knew I didnt mean a word I said, even if I felt like I did. He knew that it was an in the moment thing, to some degree. It was nothing that would strain us as a couple permanently.
I snapped back to the road again, Damon was going to be dead.
Or Stefan.
At this point I couldn't care less who, I wanted a Salvatore dead. I wanted it on my account too, but it didnt matter. As long as of them was gone, it would be fine.
I remember when I used to care for Stefan, and I suppose some part of me still does, but I didnt care about that. My compassion for him didnt drive me right now, it didnt even matter.
What was driving me was hatred. Hatred for Damon killing Ben, ruining my life by making me fall in love with him then ripping himself away from me. Hatred for Stefan killing Enzo, a friend I'd bonded with through Lily, for him letting Damon getting away with his actions, for not warning me on it.
For that, they'd be dead.
No one would stop me, I wouldnt let anyone stop me.
I'd kill anyone who got into my way.
As I kept driving I let the thoughts of another fight Kai and I had consume me.
Kai had came back from trying to find me all day, I had been running and escaping him for the past week. I decided to give in and show up in our room, to surprise him.
To make him mad.
He opened the door and froze when he saw me on our bed. I giggled at his face, it was very adorable, yes. But the shock and surprise made me feel amazing.
"What- where have you been?" He asked as he dropped his keys on the dresser beside the door.
"You know... around." I smiled, standing up and walking over to him.
"Why- why are you here?" He asked, closing his eyes for a moment and then looking at me and I came closer.
"I just want to prove to you... that I have so much power over you. I mean compared to me, compared against me, your powerless." I placed my hands on his chest and slid it up onto the nape of his neck. "I mean, the amount of times I've told you I love you and you've actually believed me." I chuckled at him, he didnt touch me, he just looked down at me unamused. "You'll believe any lie I tell you, wont you? Because your just that obsessed with me, you wont let yourself see through me, will you?"
"Raya, I know we love each other. I'm not arguing about this with you."
"Do we, my prince? I mean maybe you were my only choice when I realized I'd lost Damon forever."
"You can keep trying to convince me that we arent meant to be, I wont believe it."
"Which just shows how much power I have over you! I'm just playing with you, you've never meant anything to me. I just want to show you how powerful I am and how- how powerless you are. Maybe... you should show me... how much power you really have, before I do it first."
"What are you going to do, kill me to assert your dominance?" He scoffed.
"Well, I'm not going to kill you and I know you wont kill me after everything we've been through."
"What makes you think I wont kill you now?" He asked, playing into my game. He rested his hands on my waist and pulled me closer to him as he leaned back up against the door.
"Because we have so much fun together." I giggled, I felt exhilarated with him. He smiled and leaned down to kiss me. I slid my hands to the collar of his shirt as we kissed, I pulled on it and sped us over to the bed, pushing him onto the mattress as I crawled onto him.
I pulled his shirt up and over his head, then trailed my lips to his jaw, the nape of his neck, his throat, his collar bone, his chest, down his abs and to his v-line. I looked up at him as I wrapped my finger around his belt loop, his breath was heavy and I could feel him getting even more excited under my touch and I cupped him over his jeans.
"Please," He whimpered, his begging sent shivers down my spine. "I want you." He whispered, I smiled up at him as I undid his belt and slid down his pants.
Fuck, police sirens.
I was just picturing the good part too.
I pulled over and the police officer was walking up to my window, I rolled it down.
"Hello ma'am," he said politely. "Do you know why I pulled you over today?"
"No, I bet your going to tell me though." I smiled at him. He scoffed.
"Can you hand me your license and registration?"
Oh shit.
Not only did I never carry my license around anymore, this truck wasn't even under my name, it anyone's name at that. This baby was stolen fresh out of the dealer ship.
I smiled up at him nervously. "You found a baby deer in the road, pulled over and helped it into the grass. I wasnt speeding, you wont remember me or this encounter." I compelled, he nodded and walked into the grass, I quickly sped away.
A.N.
So sorry that this was a filler chapter, it just shows what happened between Kai and Raya when she had her humanity off. Next chapter that will be published -hopefully sometime soon- will have more action.