W I L L O W
"I'm writing this for the sky blue eyed boy I fell in love with in such a short time.
Sargent...My one and only one. How should I know that our story was to end like this? We're just high school lovers. We are so young. I know what you're thinking when you're reading this. I know you hate me more than ever now. But please don't take your hatred for me out on people around you. But most importantly yourself. You're a piece of me I can never let go.
If someone ever asks me to describe what love is, I will always think of you and say,
Love is ending up chasing what you're running from. Love is the sky. Free. Unstained. Just like us. We're like those butterflies in the air, flying free, sometimes landing on a peaceful space. But we're also those butterflies being separated away by the thunder...
The thunder is here. And we're separated. I'm flying in the air, alone. Without you by my side. And we're forever lost, just like that.
I know you hate my emotional words and you're probably going to rip this letter apart and throw it away and call me everything that comes to mind. But you know me better than myself by now. You know this is not by choice. How could I leave you with my own will? You. You. You. Sargent fucking Hills, like you would say. You're so special to me. Everything about you is proof to me that love exists. You're forever my never ending pain. You're my never ending longing. You're my never ending love.
Not even death can separate our souls. But in this world, I can only do this much. For you. I can live knowing that you're safe, away from me. But living in a world without you? Knowing that I'm the reason you're gone? That's hell for me. That's something that will completely ruin me.
I'm listening to your favorite playlist while writing this to you. I'm sitting in the cafeteria near school. The song playing right now is that one called pink and white? I didn't even think you would listen to Frank Ocean. But, "You showed me love, glory from above, regard my dear, it's all downhill from here"...
Surprisingly, the weather is grey. Cold. It might start raining. You're with Dr. Haynes. Hopefully smiling because I know your heart is slowly healing. I can see it in your eyes.
Ah, your favorite song is playing now. Die For You? You really love rock don't you? My angry other half.
Please don't hate me. I have to leave.
He'll kill you, if I don't.
Don't try to find me.
I love you so much.
We'll find back to each other in another universe, at our most beautiful.
Yours forever,
Willow <3"
I put the note in the envelope and hid it in my backpack as I took a sip of my redbull, putting the drink back onto the table with shaking hands.
I ignored the stingy feeling behind my eyes and tried to blink away the tears coming through. Not now Willow.
I looked down at the letter I wrote for my mom and I couldn't hold my tears any longer. I looked out from the cafeterias window and my heart stopped when I saw the bright green eyed boy with the familiar leather jacket walking with his head down.
I got up as fast as I could and ran with tears running down my face. I have to talk to him.
"Elijah!" I was met by the bright green eyes, looking back at me with a new look.
"Willow?"
"I-I I've missed you so much. H-how have you been?" Elijah was quiet for a second before giving me a smile with tears in his eyes as he looked down at me.
"I'm better now that I've seen my little sister for the first time in forever" I couldn't keep it any longer as I hugged my brother and let the tears I've been holding down.
"I have something to tell you. Follow me" I said as he followed me to the cafeteria.
We sat down as he ordered a black coffee.
"I've tried to talk to you for days. But I-I couldn't find you" I said as he looked down with a sad look covering his eyes, "I know. But I was not ready. I hope you understand me Willow"
"I wanted to tell you the second I found out about you Elijah...But my mom and your dad, they didn't want you to find out just yet. And I didn't know how to tell you even if I wanted to. I was so shocked, I told you about my brother and you were right beside me. It wasn't easy finding out that my brother had been with me all this time"
"I understand you now. And I forgive mom and my dad. But it's all in the past now. We finally found our way back to each other and I have a lovely mom and sister now." he smiled and I smiled right back, not believing his positive words.
"Yes, we finally found each other. But what happened with you and Miles?" I asked and his mood dropped, "I'll tell you about it later. Tell me about you? There's clearly something bothering you, you look really sad."
"I don't know how I'm going to tell you this because keeping this to myself has been eating me and I can finally tell someone because I trust you" Elijah looked confused but gave me a keep going look and I let it all out.
"I'm leaving"
"Leaving? As for college? Cause I know that already you tol-"
"No I-I...I'm getting married"
"WHAT?! Oh my god! You and Sargent? FINAL-"
"No..." Elijah's face dropped and he looked lost for a minute before this dark cloud took over his eyes, "Willow... What're you talking about?"
"My dad...He-he had some debts and it was either his legacy or his life. He had to give something up..."
"That fucker! I'm going to kill that man! I'm calling Sargent"
"NO! Absolutely not! He'll kill Sargent. The boy I'm marrying he'll kill Sargent in a heartbeat, Elijah. Why do you think I'm leaving" I said and he let out a loud groan.
"BUT you can't just leave us all behind! What about mom?! Does she know?" he asked and I shook my head no, "She doesn't, that's why I need you to be by her side when I leave"
"No, I'm not letting my sister leave knowing that she'll be unhappy"
"There's nothing we can do Elijah. I'm leaving a day after summer break starts. Please don't tell anyone about this. I can't let anyone get hurt. I trust you more than anyone."
"But-but that's so soon...barely two weeks left. I haven't even been able to spend time with you and mom" he said his voice breaking and I looked away, not wanting him to see how broken I was.
"I'm sorry...Please just look after mom and be with her. Don't let her give up and please don't come after me"
"Where is he taking you?"
"Italy"
"ITALY!? But that's so far away..."
"I hate doing this to everyone, Elijah"
"I know. I can see it in your eyes."
"I have to go now, I'm going to meet up with Sargent and spend all of my time left here with him and everyone else." I hugged Elijah as hard as I could, "I hope it'll be worth the pain you'll go through Willow" Elijah said as he let go and I nodded, "Look after mom. And please be safe" I said as I waved goodbye.
Life is painfully unfair. But knowing that the people I love are safe, will lessen the pain I'm feeling right now. Even if it kills me everyday, I know they'll be okay.
Hello lovely people:) I'm back after a long pause I guess? I've been busy with school but I'm done with everything now and I'm finally in summer break.
I've started to get ready to take my drivers license since I'm finally 18 and that's the age limit for getting your drivers license in Sweden. Soooo wish me good luck :)))
I hope you liked todays chapter (58) :))))
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Have an amazing week!!!
// D.E <3