Tommy Shelby had not even imagined himself walking that linear path down to Number 2, Tenley Street ever again. The weather was almost reminiscent of the first time he had attended the clinic on that miserable November day - aside from the fact today the skies had spared him from the onslaught of rain.
Not since he had last trekked it, at a moment in time that currently felt lifetimes ago to the Blinder who felt the only thing keeping his feet moving forwards at the moment was the simple, yet sheer adrenaline of wanting to fix things with Verity.
After the failed attempts at winning her back yesterday, he realised how materialistic and silly they had been. She was right - what was the point of giving her things she had gotten herself? She was so capable. So he decided his best bet was to at least try to earn the favour and mend bridges with her family.
He wanted to do right by her after only succeeding in doing so many wrongs. Tommy knew unweaving fhis web of lies would be messy, ugly and would dig up some parts of his actions he wished to keep hidden... but ultimately? The love he felt for Verity was far more powerful than any other force he had ever felt driving him.
Jealously, rage, vengeance... of course, they had been a potent mix in the past... but this kind of love? It was more concentrated, far more intoxicating than any other motive he had ever possessed before.
Before he knew it, Tommy Shelby was at the front door of Number 2, Tenley Street.
His fist hovered above the wood, his blue eyes fleeting to the plaque by the door which once held Verity's details and qualifications, now all but dismantled from the brick leaving nothing but it's faded outline.
Clearing his throat, he rapped on the door and waited with bated breath for Verity's sister, Nina, to answer. In those few pressing seconds, he felt his heart tighten considerably in his chest. That feeling of anxiety he welcomed very little - it was a devil for making his thoughts wander to the darker corners of his mind.
With a gentle click, the door opened just ajar. Through the small gap, came a pair of brown eyes that looked angrily at the middle Shelby son. Eyes that had every right to possess such a rage.
"What do you want?" The venom was there and as prevalent as a neon hue in the pitch black of night.
"I know I'm the last person you want to see, love." Tommy remarked coolly, removing his signature flat cap as he grasped it respectfully in his hands. "It's about your sister."
The rage subsided momentarily, replaced by a guilty sadness.
"What of her? Is she ok?" There it was, the sorority care and compassion that would always run strong, despite rifts and rages.
"She's fine," Tommy cleared his throat softly, "I just need to talk to you about some things. Some things you deserve to know about." His gaze was encouraging, stressing of the importance he so felt to deliver the truth.
Stepping back slightly, Nina unlatched the safety chain on the door and opened it wide, stepping aside to allow for Tommy to come in.
"Fine. But I can't be long." She replied dryly, sparing the Blinder merely a glance as he entered the hallway. A feeling of crossing the void engulfed him like a jaws of a Great White. This truth might not see him leave the house again, and honestly, Tommy would understand that. For not only had his lies and plans put Verity through hell... but also her closest loved ones.
-
Back at Arrow House, Verity had been spending her morning pottering about the luxurious residence which was feeling more and more like a prison each day.
What made things worse was that her ankle seemed to hurt even more when she woke that morning, which led some futile, frustrated tears and a bad mood.
After Francis had made her some breakfast, and she had milled around downstairs for a short while, Verity returned to the spare room and crawled back into bed - more miserable than ever.
She found the fact there was nothing to do offered her brain so many avenues to root through the past, offering her questions and trick her into the 'what ifs' of past events. It was agonising revisiting all the pain, and out of boredom and something to look at - she picked up the business card for this senior person for the General Medical Council.
As Verity looked over the scrawled appointment details, she sighed and thought about Tommy's pleading words. How he would get her back her clinic in London, and all of her patients.
Gazing out to the window, her brunette hair very much a mess of curls and tears stained on her cheeks - Verity thought closely about Henry, and her job back in the Cotswolds.
She thought intensely to herself, about which clinic she would rather have given the chance. Of course, her mind first fleeted to her clinic in Castle Combe, the friendly locals, the community, scenery and her good friend Henry. How much that place had been a beacon of hope in an otherwise dark and dreary time.
Then she remembered her old clinic, before Tommy Shelby, before the Eden Club and all of the mess. She closed her eyes and pictured her large office, the joy of working with her sister. The laughs she and Nina would have on a quiet day...
Verity sighed deeply as she opened her eyes, her heart practically stinging when she thought about her nephew, Harry. That made her ache like nothing she had known, and all the psychologist could do was cry. She hated to realise that maybe all she had worked for in her new life was actually no comparison to the true happiness of having her sister as her best friend, and the joy of spending time with her nephew.
With tear filled eyes, Verity looked at the appointment date and almost considered whether she could attend it alone... she then figured maybe Tommy might have booked it under his name and maybe she would not be allowed to keep said appointment. A whimper of frustration escaped her lungs, what would it matter anyway? Her family didn't want to know about her anymore. She felt she had lost that for good.
Relenting to the anger she felt bubbling inside, she gritted her teeth and sighed deeply. The suddenness of this clarity had caused her a great anxiety, for it meant it would disturb the foundations of the paradise she had made for herself. She didn't want to leave Henry... yet when she pictured hugging Nina just one more time, the choice was so very clear. If she could have all of that back? She would drop her clinic in the Cotswolds in a heartbeat.
With a defiant drop, Verity released the card back onto the beside table and tossed over in the sheets, feeling congested, teary and a mess - having not changed from her night dress since getting up.
All these emotions, fears and realisations felt all too much for her already fragile state; and rather than dealing with facing the day.... she found the only peace she could find was in closing her eyes.
-
The white noise in Number 2, Tenley Street was defeating, aside from the sound of his own voice - all Tommy could do was watch as the horrified expressions unfurled on the Grant sister's face.
The truth came out simplistically, a sharp contradiction to the nasty and manipulative mannerisms encased inside. Tommy tried at least not to fumble over his words for the sake of letting the truth see the light in a concise manner, one that reflected his regret in what he had done.
He made this clear as he concluded his story - the lie he had brewed around Verity's business, the fact he had forced her to work under him and everything else that followed along.
On the last breath, Tommy's eyes dared to lift to Nina, who's own hazel eyes glimmered sadly with the threatening of fresh tears.
Her lips parted, agape and unable to close as if the shock had stunned her into a statue like state. She merely stared out the blinder, brows slowly knitting into confused anger and bitter pain.
"Why did you wait until now?" Nina finally trembled, a single teardrop falling from her eye. Her face muscles twitched from sorrow into pure animosity once again - as if her brain was processing far too many emotions.
"Why did you wait until the damage was done?"
Tommy hung his head momentarily, feeling that unmistakable blanket of shame cover him. He could only tell himself he deserved this.
"Because I was a selfish prick." He suddenly replied, voice low in respect to young Harry playing in a room just down the hall. "I thought Verity was just another pretty thing I wanted." He avoided Nina's enraged gaze, and fixated his own on the corner of the rug momentarily.
"You evil bastard." Nina said with no hesitation, her words as lashing as a whip, "You ruined Verity's relationship with me. Our parents. Her nephew." She began to sniffle again, so angry that keeping the tears at bay was near impossible.
"I did." He replied collectedly, nodding sombrely, drawing in a short breath as if to compose himself when he finally looked back at the sadness struck sister. "I wanted you to know the truth, and hopefully to make amends with Verity. If there's at least one thing I can for her, it would be to see her happy with her family again."
His voice had taken on that usual deceptive formality Tommy put in when in any tricky situation, it was his own protective little front so that people would hopefully never get to see the full extent of his emotions. He had remained somewhat composed, although clearly remorseful and ashamed - and that was indication enough for Nina that he was not here to waste her time.
"Here's the address of her current clinic, in the Cotswolds." Tommy said, handing over the address he had managed to discover on that fateful day from Charlie's letter. "But she's currently with me at the moment. If you wish to call to speak with her, then feel free." He pointed to his own number written at the bottom of the sheet, watching as Nina's eyes flickered uncertainly over the information.
"Why is she with you?" She asked, looking bewildered, "after all you've put her through? Is she really that daft?"
Tommy stifled a small scoff, it would have been daft which she have been there out of choice.
"Don't worry. She only came back to tell me to leave her alone. She's twisted her ankle. I imagine she probably can't wait to leave."
How he wished his own words weren't true. She should have never felt like she had to leave him in the first place... but of course, what else had he expected? The monster of guilt that had been hanging off his back for months had finally bit him.
Deciding it was time to leave before Nina did consider strangling him, Tommy thanked Verity's sister for her time - to which she mumbled something that wasn't exactly the warmest goodbye, not that he had anticipated anything else.
He returned to the street, the sky above looking as if it were to threaten a hefty downpour should one choose to stay out in it for too long. Hands in the pockets of his long, dark grey coat - he kept his eyes down and returned into the direction of his car, hoping and praying that he might at least of done one thing right today, should Nina choose to pick up the phone and call her sister.
-
The only escape from that dreamless sleep had come in the late afternoon, when Verity rose from the bed upon hearing Charlie's loud excitable conversation with the maid about where his favourite person was.
It was so simplistic and wholesome that such a sweet child could manage to redirect her mind from the dark thoughts to a tranquil place of escape, even if that was just for a few hours.
She had gotten dressed, admittedly rather late, into the same clothes Francis had been constantly washing, drying and ironing for her. Verity let the housemaid know her thanks, in offers of a ten minute break and a chat over a cup of tea. Francis, flattered and grateful, would however always politely decline - her day always filled with things to do.
Tea time had been and gone as Verity sat with Charlie in the living room, the hearth having been lit and offering a cozy glow amidst the rather depressing weather outside.
The little boy had been telling Verity about a particularly interesting period of history he had been learning about with his tutor, as the psychologist smiled and listening along with the greatest attention - aware that suddenly the heavens had opened outside and the rain was pouring noisily down the panes.
The heavy sound of the front door opening could be heard, and just like an excitable pup - Charlie shot up from his seat on one of the sofas and bounded out into the hallway.
Verity remained in her place, it wasn't exactly like she would be glad to greet Tommy. She listened to the distant excited chatter of a young boy telling his father about his day, mixed in with Francis' kind offers to take the master of the house's sopping wet coat.
Verity let her eyes stray to the flames, acutely aware of the voices dying down. She hadn't been able to hear much of the conversation, words becoming nothing but distant murmurs. All vocal sound was replaced by a few footsteps, footsteps that she anticipated coming closer to the living room. Taking a deep breath, she clenched her jaw and kept her hazel eyes steadily on the fire.
A figure appeared from the corner of her eye, planted in the doorway. Verity didn't want to look; feeling rather like a sulky child. But she had really rather grown to resent Tommy more than ever, having spent the day mentally going over all the wrong he had done to her.
"I went to see your sister today." He blurted, no sign of a greeting as was usual with the Blinder who often preferred cutting to the chase.
He entered the room, and naturally Verity's glance was drawn to him upon his statement. His hair was a little wet, the cap he wore probably having little rain resistance in this type of weather - other than that his immaculate waistcoat suit showed no signs of a single droplet having touched it.
"Whatever for?" Verity suddenly asked, as he went to stand beside the warmth of the hearth, a welcome glow from the bitter chill of the weather outside.
Tommy directed his gaze to the psychologist looking pressingly at him from the armchair, an annoyed look on her face. No matter how time progressed, he never quite got over the fact he loathed the way she looked at him.
"To tell her the truth. About what I had done." He said it plainly and as clear as glass, looking back at Verity with a sincerity in his eyes that the psychologist had seen very little of before.
"I can't make you forgive me for what I have done, Verity." Tommy added, "so I figured the least I could do was try to fix things with your family. It's the least you deserve." His voice was low as his blue eyes fell to the carpet beneath his feet, visibly swallowing the lump in his throat.
Verity studied his mannerisms, a display of true remorse embodying his person. Right now, there was no hidden agenda or ulterior motive, the man stood before he was a true presentation of the raw emotion of shame and guilt.
Before now, with Tommy, there was always some kind of masquerade of withdrawn emotion, as if it would be too honest to just display how he was feeling. Too much of a betrayal to the hardened gangster he was trying so hard to paint a picture of.
That display of unabashed feelings, somewhat gave Verity a small inkling of satisfaction. To see him somber and regretful for what he had done to her was the least she deserved. He had actually gone out of his own way for once to try and do something right, and with Tommy she knew this was never rarely the case. If someone went wrong, he turned his back on it and kept walking - aware of the explosion behind him but never once sparing it a glance.
A silence had cast across the space, and the psychologist swallowed the lump in her throat.
"Did she say anything at all?" Verity asked, picking anxiously at her fingernail, cautiously looking up at Tommy who hadn't really looked at her for a few moments.
He cleared his throat softly and shook his head, "she said very little. I gave her my number to call and the address of your current clinic, should she want contact you once you return home."
Return home.
Those words sat uncomfortably beside her like an unwelcome stranger on a train. Where really was home at this point? Just when she felt settled in one place, she was hit with the crisis that she felt she really wasn't sure of what she wanted anymore.
However, one thing Verity was tuned into - was the small glimmer of hope that flickered in her heart at the thought Nina might wish to contact her. A pure form of happiness she had only recently experienced when with Charlie sat in the base of her stomach. If Nina were to call her it would mean the world.
And that might be the sign of the steps she would next be wise to take.
-
A/N: I'm sorry this chapter is unfortunately rather boring, it can't always be fun and excitement. More to come soon I hope, and thank you all for sticking with me.