August 7, 2019
"Are we all set?" Taylor asks Andrea who is frantically fanning a tray of cupcakes on the kitchen island, "Do you think I have overdone it?"
"Honey, you overdo it every single time you do one of these," Andrea sighs good-naturedly, "Once these have cooled down and get iced, I think you're good for food."
"Is there any chance," Taylor wraps her arms around her mother from behind, "that you could maybe take a head start on them? Brian is coming over in about twenty minutes and I sort of want to drive him down the strip in Nashville and tell him some stories so he can use them for that Rolling Stone interview."
"Of course," the blonde woman doesn't skip a beat, "what time does this thing even start, Taylor?"
"Five, but the buses are picking the fans up at four, so they are probably going to rock up sooner than expected." Taylor lets go of Andrea and surveys all the baking they'd done the day before and most of the day, "This is enough food for 113 people, right?"
"It's enough food for triple that." Andrea says drily, "You go get changed and drive around with that reporter and I'll get started on these cupcakes. What do you want them to say?"
"Just Lover," the singer calls as she walks out of the kitchen, "preferably in glitter!"
Seconds later she's up the stairs of the Nashville estate, walking into the master bedroom and then immediately going into the walk-in closet. Grateful she already picked an outfit to wear today, she strips down to her underwear and reaches for the colourful top when her phone buzzes in the pocket of the jeans she just took off.
Maybe Brian is running late.
Her phone buzzes again, then again. There is a true haptic frenzy as her phone continues to buzz like crazy for a solid ten seconds, only stopping when she finally manages to pull it out of the jeans pocket and unlocks the lock screen.
New message: Selena
Did you see this???
New message: Selena
I thought you two were okay again. What happened?
New message: Selena
Why the fuck is Karlie on a yacht with Scooter?
In one single moment, she knows actually what people mean when they say your blood runs cold. Without even opening her message thread with her best friend, she immediately goes onto Instagram, clicking on the first search result when she enters a single K. There's nothing. With a frown on her face Taylor swipes up and instead opens google, entering the few keywords from Selena's texts.
Karlie Kloss, Scooter Braun, yacht.
Google yields multiple results and simultaneously crushes her. Sure enough there are pictures of Karlie and Josh with Scooter and Yael, with David Geffen, with people she recognises but doesn't know the actual names of. It feels like a punch in the gut. There are a few new incoming texts from Selena but instead of opening them, she chooses to call her friend instead. The Latina picks up after just one ring.
"Hey."
"What the fuck."
"I know." Taylor drops the sweater she'd been holding onto for the past few minutes, "I'm not sure what's going on."
"I'll tell you exactly what's going on." Selena sounds pissed off, "She's playing you."
Taylor doesn't say anything, instead chooses to chew the inside of her cheek. She knows arguing with Selena is going to set off the younger woman even more. So instead, she keeps quiet and listens to Selena's choice words for a couple of minutes.
"- Braun is poison. You better not trust her, Taylor. I know she's your Achilles heel but there is genuinely nothing that girl would not do if it got her ahead anywhere."
"It was her birthday a few days ago."
"Okay?" Selena sounds confused, "What about it? Does that give her a free pass for being this fucking dumb?" The Latina sighs, "What did you do, send her flowers or something?"
"Sort of."
She is not telling Selena she sent an entire flower arrangement to the model's apartment in Tribeca. She doesn't tell her that she text Karlie happy birthday and the younger girl rang her to talk about how excited she was for turning 27. She doesn't tell Selena how Karlie mentioned she couldn't wait to see Taylor in a few weeks. She definitely doesn't tell her how Karlie's birthday is her favourite day of the year.
---
"What did you do?" Karlie laughed, trying to push Taylor's hands away when the singer keeps covering her eyes, "Taylor, come on."
"That would be telling, and I'd rather show you," the blonde grinned, "just keep walking and stop trying to ruin your own surprise."
"Fine." Karlie gave up, "Tell me when I can open my eyes."
The second they came to a halt in the middle of her Tribeca home's living room, Taylor realised she potentially overdid this entire birthday business. She should have stuck to the flowers, or maybe - at a stretch - flowers and the balloons. She should definitely not have bought twenty-two birthday presents for someone who was about to turn twenty-two.
"Okay," she mumbled against Karlie's shoulder, dropping her hands to the model's hips and gently holding onto her there, "open."
The worry she overdid it evaporated the second Karlie squealed.
"Surprise." Taylor wrapped her arms around the model's waist, "Happy birthday, Kar."
"Taylor, oh my god."
Karlie almost immediately got out of the embrace, walking around the room touching every single bouquet Taylor had ordered from several florists (in order to not cause suspicion, which she thought was a smart move). She pointed at the balloons.
"Balloons," Karlie grinned, "really?"
"You've said you liked balloons." Taylor dug her hands into the back pockets of her jeans, "So I got you balloons. And I wasn't sure what your favourite flowers were, so I sort of..."
"Got me all the flowers you could think of?"
"Maybe?" Taylor bit her bottom lip nervously, "Do you like it?"
"Like it?" Karlie turned to look at her, momentarily looking away from the pile of presents near the fireplace, "I love it." She pointed back at the pile, "What's this?"
"Birthday presents."
"That's..." Karlie paused, "Taylor, this is too much."
"No, it's not." The singer frowned, "Some of them are really dumb, I just really liked the idea of getting you twenty-two presents."
"That is adorable and insane," Karlie held her hand out, "C'mere."
She let herself be pulled in and hugged, wrapping her own arms around Karlie's waist as the taller girl squeezed her gently.
"Go on, open them up." She spurred Karlie on, "There are twenty-two to get through."
"Right," the model grinned, "sit down with me."
She'd obliged and sat there smiling as Karlie unwrapped present after present, sometimes carefully untucking the tape Taylor had meticulously applied, sometimes tearing of shreds of colourful wrapping paper like a kid on Christmas morning. Karlie had loved the sweater Taylor bought her just as much as the Tiffany's bracelet and the $3 trinket she got on a flea market back in Tennessee a few weeks prior. As she sat there watching Karlie go through her presents, she wondered whether this could be her normal. Even just behind closed doors. Watching Karlie's child-like carelessness and glee when she opened a Rubik's cube and burst out laughing made her feel like maybe her life didn't have to be just music and awards and tours and ceremonies. Maybe she could reserve a tiny piece for just Karlie.
"I think I've got them all." Karlie flashed her a smile, "Thanks, Taylor. This was... very sweet."
"You didn't get them all."
"What?" The younger girl looked around in confusion, "I mean, I didn't count but I'm pretty sure I got to -"
"There's twenty-one."
"Oh." Karlie looked at her in mild confusion, "Oh my God, is this where I ask you what the twenty-second one is, and you give me a super sultry look and we make out? Is that it?"
"What?" Taylor frowned, "No."
"No making out?" Karlie joked, "Even not for my birthday?"
"Karlie, for the love of - here." Taylor pulled an envelope from underneath the cushion she'd been strategically holding in her lap, "Happy birthday."
"What's this?"
"Open it and find out."
Karlie carefully tore the corner of the envelope and pulled the folded letter out of it. Taylor shifted uneasily as she waited for Karlie to read through it.
"Gallatin School of Individualised Study," Karlie mumbled, "of New York University?" She paused, "Tay, what is this?"
"You mentioned earlier this year you wanted to go to university and get a degree and look into coding, and well," Taylor gestured, "I sort of checked if you fit the requirements, and you do, and then the only thing that was needed for you to be able to enrol in the next academic course in September was paying the fee so..."
"So." Karlie breathed.
"So, I paid your admission fee, and you can start learning code next month if that's something you still want." Taylor swallowed, "It's totally fine if you've changed your mind, obviously, in that case I can just say it's a donation in your name or just in mine and they can, I don't know, open another music auditorium or -"
"Taylor."
"Hm?"
"Stop talking." Karlie put the letter down and crawled over to where she was sitting, "Thank you." She whispered, leaning in closer and kissing Taylor gently.
"You're welcome." Taylor mumbled when Karlie pulled away, "I'm glad you like it."
Karlie smiled and leant in again, this time gently pushing at Taylor's shoulder until the singer leant back, finally laying down on the floor with Karlie following suit and ending up on top of her. The younger woman looked down at her and rested on one elbow, using her free hand to move some of Taylor's hair out of her face.
"This is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me," Karlie said softly, "Thanks."
"You deserve it."
"I don't think I deserve you," Karlie continued, a hint of sadness lacing her words, "but I'm happy I'm here, with you."
Before Taylor got the time to respond and assure her that Karlie did, in fact, deserve her, and she wanted nothing more than to deserve Karlie and maybe figure out a way to make all of this work, Karlie had kissed her again, her free hand sliding down her side before slipping under the top she was wearing. When Karlie's mouth moved to her collarbone and her hand moved up, Taylor felt her breath hitch in her throat and knew there was nothing she would be able to say anymore. So instead, she just clung onto Karlie like her life depended on it.
---
"She does not deserve you sending flowers," Selena continued, "or even you being - why are you still trying to talk to her, anyway? She's trouble."
"Or she doesn't know -"
"She's not that stupid."
"Selena..."
"No. I said what I said," the Latina singer said defiantly, "She either knows what she's doing, and in that case, she is trouble, or she doesn't know what she's doing and, in that case, she's fucking -"
"I need to go." Taylor sighed, "Brian is going to be here any minute now and I still need to change, I have about a hundred fans coming over later on today so mom's making cupcakes, and -"
"Good, focus on that instead." Selena sighs, again, "She is not worth it. She's not worthy of you."
The goodbyes are short. Taylor is faintly aware that Brian's being let into the house as she hears distinct voices in the kitchen, her mom's typical 'oh god the timing is off' laughter when a male voice asks something. She quickly pulls on the sweater and checks the mirror to see if she still has time to do something about her make up. She hasn't, so she quickly pockets her phone and fixes her hair before making her way back downstairs. Sure enough, Brian Hiatt is leaning against the kitchen counter, snapping a picture of Andrea holding a tray of cupcakes. He smiles at Taylor as soon as she walks in, putting his phone away.
"Hey," he grins, "are you ready for a fun day?"
"Are you?" Taylor teases, "I promise I'll try to not crash the car this time."
Brian laughs and Andrea frowns, but the quip is too fast for the elder woman to interject and find out what she means by it. Taylor is already leading Brian out of the kitchen again, waving at Andrea as she goes. The quicker she is out of the house, the better.
* * *
Showing Brian the strip and answering most of his questions doesn't take as long as she thought it would. Unlike last time she saw the man, she manages to not crash into any other car, although there was a small swerve where Brian -unnecessarily- yelped. She waits to unbuckle until he does after they pull up in front of the estate again, before opening her door.
"So, what time are your fans getting here?" Brian inquires, clicking his pen again once they get out of the car, "113 of them, you said?"
"They should be here soon," Taylor responds, pressing the fob of her car to lock it, "which reminds me, I have to go upstairs really quick to put some make up on, would you mind? Feel free to look around the basement, which is where I'll be doing the secret session. Or you can hang out with my mom, it's up to you."
"Cool," the reporter smiles, "I'm going to phone my wife really quick and then I'll come inside, I'll find your mother!"
She waits until he is out of earshot before taking out her phone again. Her thumb lingers over the screen for a brief moment before she scrolls for a few seconds and taps repeatedly.
To: Karlie
I hope you're having a nice time in the Balearics. Looks like you're having fun.
She leaves the phone on her vanity table, sorting through the makeup she intends to put on whilst deliberately ignoring the Estée Lauder products that Karlie gifted her in the past, having an infinite supply of moisturisers and primers and mascaras. Her phone buzzes and she glances down, already knowing who it is.
From: Karlie
It's really good! How are you?
"Unbelievable." She mutters, grabbing her phone and furiously using both hands to type.
To: Karlie
Not great. Can't say seeing you on a yacht with Scooter and David sparks joy.
This time, the response comes immediately.
From: Karlie
They had the yacht and the tickets, I could hardly say no. Scooter manages me and he wanted to celebrate with Josh and some friends.
Taylor feels like she could scream.
To: Karlie
Celebrating buying my masters? Classy.
Less than ten seconds.
From: Karlie
Celebrating my birthday, Taylor.
"Fuck." Taylor grunts, immediately hating her passive-aggressive text. Before she's got a chance to reply, her phone is buzzing again, with Karlie's name flashing in the middle of her screen. The singer sighs before swiping right and bringing the phone to her ear. She hears Karlie close a door and then there's a second of silence and a deep intake of air.
"Hey?"
"Hi." Taylor mumbles.
"I am not celebrating my manager buying your music." Karlie sounds exasperated, "I am sorry this is so shit but I just wanted to have a nice time for my birthday, Scooter and Josh and David rented a yacht and they thought I'd like it, and I do, I just - sorry."
"Okay." Taylor says softly, not being able to forget what Selena said earlier that day.
"Can I still see you when we're both in New York?" Karlie pauses, "I feel like we keep being caught up in miscommunications and I just want to sit down and talk to you, you know."
"I'm not sure there's still much to say, Karlie." Taylor tries to swallow the lump in her throat, "I keep thinking I can do this and then stuff like this happens and I'm sure it's all perfectly innocent, I want to believe it's all innocent and I'm just being paranoid, but I can't shake this feeling it's not and it's just," she pauses, "it's fucking with me."
"Okay. Okay. Listen - how about I give you some space. I'll just... I'll leave you alone for the next two weeks or so and then when I am in New York, I'll text you and we can go grab a coffee or I come see you - or you come see me, whatever, and we just, we see if we can sort this out. I want to sort this out, Tay, I want to sort us out, you're too important to me."
"Not important enough."
"You keep throwing that in my face," Karlie's tone changes, "you keep saying that and it's not fair. You were the one to," the model continues, "it was not just me."
"I think you're right." Taylor says coolly, "let's take a break. Text me when you get to New York, and we'll take it from there. Bye Karlie."
"Okay. Bye. I hope your secret session thing goes well, they'll love it."
"You don't know that for sure," Taylor can't help but reply, "you haven't heard this one yet."
"Like you'd put out something bad." Karlie pauses, "Speak to you soon."
Taylor says her goodbyes, fighting the urge to end the phone call with a love you like she used to. She once read new habits only take 66 days to form, she still doesn't understand why a multitude of 66 days later she still struggles with saying goodbye to Karlie.
"Taylor!"
"Coming!" She yells back at Andrea, "Give me two more minutes!"
"They are here."
"Good!"
Taylor cannot wait for the fans' distraction.
* * *
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