I looked down at the ground, trying very, very hard to get my smile and now the obvious blush under control, but nothing was really working. Finally, looked up. "Okay, but only because I am hungry, really feel like watching a movie tonight."
Tine's POV
Sarawat took the driver's seat in my car and drove us somewhere far out in the city, refusing to tell me where we were going. He drove the car through many small lanes which finally opened up to a river-side restaurant. As we entered the place, I saw the city lights reflecting on water, and back onto Sarawat's smiling face. Was his smile always this bright or had I never noticed it before?
The waiter brought us to a corner table, which was clearly a little small for the both of us. So, we sat there huddled on the table, trying to fit in, and our knees touched ever so slightly.
"How did you even know about this place? I have never heard of it." I finally spoke up, trying to find a way to stop thinking about the fact that Sarawat's knees were still touching mine.
"Me neither, actually. Phukong told me about it. He said the food here was good."
"Oh. So, did we come here because you wanted to check this out for the Beer Festival?"
Sarawat stared at me with furrowed brows. "No, of course not. The restaurants for the Beer Festival were already finalized last week. We came here because I wanted to have a dinner with you, Tine Teepakorn. Three years too late, but at least we are here."
He smiled at me, and I could feel my heart melting. I hadn't realised how much I had missed Sarawat until now.
I looked down at the table, trying to hide my obvious flush, and flipped through the menu instead. "Shall we order some food? I am really hungry. Did Phukong recommend something here?"
"He said the steak was nice. Let me call the waiter"
Just as Sarawat signalled the waiter, my phone rang. It was mom.
Picking up the phone, I put it on my ear. "Hey mom! I am outside right now.
.
No. Not in the office. Just out for dinner. I'll call when I get home okay? Did you have dinner already?
.
Mom, you should just eat already. Don't wait up for Type, you know he gets late with work sometimes.
.
Mom you don't need to wait up for him-- Okay fine, I'll call you when I get home, mom. Bye."
I put down my phone and looked up at Sarawat, who was still smiling at me. "Sorry. Let's order?"
Sarawat gave out the food order for both of us and I decided to order a drink. I needed something to calm my nerves. I couldn't just sit here so close to Sarawat, with him just staring me down.
"Can you also get me a Whisky? May be Irish?"
"Sure, Sir" The waiter turned to Sarawat. "Whisky for you too, sir?"
"Ah. No. Just a National Beer. Thanks." Sarawat replied.
Come to think of it, Sarawat only ever drank beer, whenever we went out. Not just because we were searching for good restaurants for the Beer Festival, but he always consciously only drank beer. I assumed it was mostly because he grew up learning about different beers and drinking beers. I mean his father did own one of the biggest beer breweries in the world, it would be natural for him to drink beer. But what he said in Phuket when he was drunk really bothered me.
He had a whisky that night and then told me he shouldn't have drank so much.
Would you ever forgive me Tine for all the mistakes that I have made? — That's what he asked me and I had no answer to it. Who was I to judge Sarawat for his past? Everyone has a past. I didn't like myself either in the past. What really matters is who we are today. I saw the Sarawat in college and now I see this Sarawat sitting right in front of me — they feel like the same person, and yet, so different. He seems more mature now, more considerate, more hardworking, and so much more grounded.
"Here are your drinks." The waiter kept the drinks on our table which brought me out of my thoughts.
Just as the waiter left, Sarawat took a big chug of his beer and looked at me with his patent smug smile. "So, who is Type?"
I chuckled. "May be you shouldn't be snooping on other people's phone calls."
"You were literally talking in front of me, Tine. I obviously overheard it."
I shook my head. "Type's my brother."
Sarawat shifted forward in his seat. "Is he younger than you? Staying with your mom until he finishes up his studies ?"
"No. He is actually older than me. Four years older than me. He stays with mom and handles the family business back in my hometown. And.. and I am the son who was pushed to live far away from home because at least one of us should have a good education and a stable job." I swirled my whiskey and drank up.
Sarawat's facial expression changed suddenly. "It must have been hard for you, staying away from your family all this time."
I looked down, smoothing over the table cloth to somehow calm my emotions. "It was a little hard in the start when I moved to Bangkok for the first time. But it got better as years went by. I mean, it has now been 8 years since I moved out here."
"Do you miss them?"
"Everyday." I said without looking up.
"Did you..did you ever consider moving back to your hometown instead of staying here in Bangkok?"
"I did. In fact, I didn't even want to move here to Bangkok in the first place, not even for college. But Type pushed me. He said 'I was too smart to stay back in our hometown.'
"And you just agreed with him?"
"Of course. Type was 20 when dad passed away. He managed to revive the crumbling family business all the while finishing up his college and making sure we always had food on the table. I was only 16 back then — there was only so much I could do to help. And to be honest, he was right. The family business isn't that big that it needed two people to oversee things."
So when Type said, I needed to study to get into a good college with scholarship, I listened to him. He already had so many responsibilities on him."
"I am sure you had a lot of responsibilities on you too."
I laughed, trying my best to conceal the sadness in my eyes. "Well nothing compared to Type. He went out to work, I just had to stay home, study, and take care of mom."
"You had to take care of your mom? Was she unwell too?"
I sighed. "The first-- The first few months were really tough for mom after dad passed away. She hardly ate, she hardly even got out of the room. I had to make sure she was eating on time, getting her medicines on time. Sometimes..." I chuckled. "Sometimes I would put on funny movies on the TV and force myself to laugh so mom would laugh with me too."
"Did it work?"
"Sometimes it did, sometimes it didn't." I shrugged my shoulders.
"How is doing she now?"
"She is much better now. I guess time does heal some wounds. She smiles more."
"And what about you?"
"What about me?" I looked up.
Sarawat tilted his head and I could see he was worried. "How are you now? I am sure it was all very hard for you. And its not something most 16-year olds think they would have to do — Dealing with your dad's death and then suddenly taking care of your mother as her guardian."
I gulped down, staring at Sarawat. I had always told myself that I was a strong person, but hearing Sarawat speak out all of my struggles in a single breath made me realise that I was not in fact a strong person. I was just someone who was forced to pretend to be strong, because that was the only way I could get through.
"It was okay I guess."
That's all I said but then Sarawat puts his hand over mine and suddenly I could feel a flood of emotions passing through me.
"Tine, if something is hard, you can just say it was hard. We don't always have to pretend to be strong."
I stared at our intertwined hands and I finally spoke up. "It was a little hard, I guess. I didn't-- I didn't even have the time to grief dad's death until I was all alone in my college dorm in Bangkok —when I realised I only had his ring to remember. Now, I feel like the further I go away from home, the better it would be for me because somehow, everything reminds me of him now" I shook my head. "But I am sure Type had it worse."
"I am not trying to invalidate your brother's struggles, Tine. I am just trying to say, you were too young to handle all those things and you shouldn't invalidate everything that you went through."
I sat back in silence, not uttering another word, just feeling the warmth of Sarawat's hand over mine, which I wished I could hold all the damn time.
"You know Tine..." It was Sarawat who spoke up again. "I should actually meet Type and thank him. If he didn't push you to go to college in Bangkok, we would have never met." Sarawat was smiling at me and it felt like all of my troubles had suddenly vanished.
I couldn't help but laugh. "Type would absolutely hate you. He hates city people like you. In fact he has started to loathe me for turning into one of those city people too."
"I have a feeling that he would really like me." Sarawat smugly smiled.
"Your food, sir." The waiter came by the table again and I realised we were still holding hands. But just as I suddenly let go of Sarawat's hand, I accidentally banged into his knees.
"Ouch Tine!"
"I am sorry!"
We mostly ate the food just smiling at each other. No, Sarawat ate the food but I practically inhaled it all. I had skipped lunch and I hadn't even realised how hungry I was.
"Phukong was right, Wat. The steak is really nice."
"It is, isn't it? What should we order for dessert—"
"Tine Teepakorn?" I heard someone call out my name which made both Sarawat and I look up. It was Mil, our old college classmate.
"God, Mil, its so good to see you." I got up from the table to shake his hand.
"You too and—" Mil looked down at the table and seemed completely confused. "Sarawat? Its really you. Wow, I could have never guessed Tine and you were actually close. The college topper with the college slacker." He laughed. "But I guess weirder things have happened. Anyhow, its good to see you Sarawat."
"I wish I could say the same, but you have just interrupted our dinner." Sarawat snickered and looked away.
I ignored him and smiled at Mil instead. "What are you doing here in Thailand? I thought you were still busy expanding the company in Tokyo."
"I still am. Just came down here for the weekend for a personal thing. What about you? You never replied to my email after asking me about the best neighbourhoods in Tokyo."
"Yeah, that has been stalled for a while. I am sorry I couldn't get back to you, I have had a lot on my plate."
"I understand. May be we could catch up and—"
"Shall we order some dessert, Tine?"
We were both interrupted with a loud screechy sound. Sarawat had banged his fork loudly on his now empty plate and he was now giving me the most passive aggressive smile I had ever seen him give.
"Okay, I guess I shouldn't keep you two occupied for long." Mil said as he clearly got Sarawat's indirect signal. "I'll see you around later Tine. It was good seeing you."
"You too, Mil."
I smiled and sat down as Mil left, squinting my eyebrows at Sarawat. "You didn't have to be so rude with him, Wat. He's a nice guy."
"Please, I always hated him and his entire nice guy facade in college.. and I still do."
"Come on, he is nice, and one of the most successful alums from our college. He was 23 when he setup his own startup in Japan and now look how it has grown."
"I don't buy it. Who goes all the way to Japan to setup their own company? He could have done it here in Thailand. You know Phukong actually went to Japan for his college exchange program and then all he did was talk about Japan for months? Stupid people. Stupid place."
"That's because Japan is a nice country and Mil went there because his investors—"
"Whatever, he was interrupting our dinner and I don't like him" Sarawat picked up the menu. "Now, do you want to have some dessert with me or not? Pie or ice cream?" He was pouting at this point and I couldn't help but smile.
"What about chocolate cake?"
"Works for me."
Sarawat closed down the menu and called the waiter.
When we finally finished up the dinner, which Sarawat paid for and refused to let me pay because he had invited me over, we left the restaurant and walked over to the parking lot — when we ran into Phukong.
"Ah. It's the love birds." Phukong called us out just as we were about to get into the car. "Of course both of you are here. Wat asked me for a good place for a date. I should have guessed he wanted to bring you here, Tine."
"Phukong we are not love birds and this is not a date." I said all irritated.
"Wat, I don't know why your boyfriend refuses to acknowledge your relationship in public, but may be its something you two should work on?" Phukong shrugged.
"Shut up Phukong. Why the hell are you here?" Sarawat asked, unlocking the car.
"I am here to meet someone." Phukong looked at his watch. "And I am late, I'll see you later."
"Wait Phukong, who are you meeting here?" Sarawat called him out.
"Mind your own business Sarawat and I won't tell mom who you are dating."
"Phukong, we are not dating—" Phukong was already gone by the time I could finish saying what he wanted to.
"Sarawat, why does your brother keep assuming we are dating?" I got into the car with Sarawat, all frustrated.
"Would it be so wrong if we were?" That's all Sarawat said before starting the car. We spent the rest of the car ride in silence. I had no idea how to answer Sarawat's question and he didn't say anything else either.
When we finally reached my building's parking lot, Sarawat parked my car, and we got out.
"Are you going to take a taxi from here, Wat? Is your car still in the office? Or—or I could drop you home?"
"You don't have to worry about all that, Tine. Let me drop your home first."
"You have already dropped me home Wat."
"Not yet, I am going to walk you right to your doorstep. I took you out for dinner and I have to make sure you get back home all safe."
"I literally have to take an elevator to reach home, Sarawat."
"And I am going to escort right to your apartment."
I shook my head. "I swear arguing with you is like talking to a wall." I started walking to the elevator, knowing full well, Sarawat was following me, and I couldn't help but smile.
When we reached my apartment door, I started punching in my passcode. "Okay Sarawat, I have reached home, safely. You can leave now."
"What if I watch you get into bed to make sure you are sleeping safely too?"
"SARAWAT!" I turned around and yelled at him, with my back against the door.
"What? You are really just going to let me go? Just like that?" He was pouting again and he looked even more cuter now.
"Just like that." I chuckled. "We had the dinner that we were supposed to have three years ago and our transaction is over."
Sarawat raised his eyebrows. "Transaction? Is this all a transaction to you?" Sarawat moved closer, trapping me between his arms and whispered in my ears. "Because its not to me. I hope we can do this again."
I could feel his hands moving down my waist, making me feel things I wasn't ready for. "A—again?"
"Yes, again. What do you say, Tine?"
I looked up at Sarawat's pouty lips and his twinkling eyes, and I didn't know what to say to that. I just knew what I wanted to do.
So I wrapped my arms around his neck and crashed my lips on his. He tasted exactly how I thought he would in my mind, and yet, nothing like it at all. I felt his hands snake around my waist. He was kissing me back and his tongue playing with my tongue. It almost felt like I had entered a dream which I absolutely didn't want to end. Like an instinct, like I had done it a million times before, I licked through his jawline and Adam's apple.
"God.. Tine..."
When I heard him moan my name, it finally brought me back from my daze and made me realise what I had done — I had kissed Sarawat Guntithanon in my building's corridor, right outside my apartment.
"You—you should go. Goodnight Sarawat." I opened my apartment door and shut it in Sarawat's face.
But I could hear Sarawat screaming from outside. "Wait, should I take that as a yes, Tine? Can we do this again? The dinner, the drinks, the dessert, and the kiss? Or may be more?"
"Just leave Sarawat."
"I am going to take it as a yes then." I couldn't see Sarawat's face but I knew he was smiling, standing outside my door — and I couldn't help but smile too.
--
A/N: Okay, first of all, I am sorry for the late update on this. The last two weeks, have been a lot to taken in -- mentally, emotionally, and physically. I am just hoping the rest of May is as boring as it can be.
AND OMG WHAT DO WE THINK ABOUT THIS CHAPTER??!
I have been writing it for a whole week and I kept going back and forth on it. I think I really like how it turned out. Do you think Tine can now face Sarawat in the office on Monday?
What are your initial guess on Mil-Phukong?