"Close the fucking door. No one's going out!" ang boses ni Tage ang nagpatigil sa Guwardiyang buksan ang pinto. Gusto ko nang tadyakan ang babaeng 'to palabas. It would be a satisfying scene if she'll be crawling on the ground.
"Let go of her, Ynessa." mapait akong ngumiti sakanya.
"Seriously, Del Prado? You managed to resist me because of this damn bitch?" sigaw ko. Tahimik na ang paligid namin ngayon. Nakatingin lang ang mga empleyado namin. I saw some crying. I don't know if those are empathy or what.
"Don't you fucking dare come near me." I stepped back.
"Buksan mo." sigaw ko sa Guard. He stopped because Tage Lasten's voice thundered. Gusto ko nang humagulhol dahil kahit sa ganitong sitwasyon mag-isa ako. Wala akong katulong. Wala akong kakampi. I hate the feeling of being alone kaya kahit anong mangyare ilalaban ko ang asawa ko. I'm willing to forgive. Kakalimutan ko ang lahat nang nakita ko basta 'wag niya lang akong iiwan.
"Open the door, please." I whispered defeated. I don't know if he managed to hear it. Nang buksan ng Guwardiya ang pinto ay kinaladkad ko palabas si Ardelle. I pushed her to the ground and grabbed her hair again. When the reporters saw it, initsa ko ulit sa sahig si Ardelle at pumasok na sa kompanya.
Nasa pintuan si Tage, masama ang tingin sakin.
"Go out. Daluhan mo ang babae mo!" pero imbes na lumabas ay hinaklit niya ang braso ko. He's gripping my arms tightly. Hindi ako nagreklamo at nagpatangay ako sakanya. He brought me to his office. Padarag niya akong binitiwan just like what I did to Ardelle.
Sumalampak ako sa sahig.
If I have to beg him to stay I will do it. I'd fucking beg just he would stay.
He threw the vase just in front of me. Napapikit ako habang dinaramdam ang bubog na gumuguhit sa iba't-ibang parte ng katawan ko. I feel some on my face, arms and legs.
"Fuck!" he cursed. I don't want him to see me defeated but I burst out crying. Humagulhol ako habang nakasalampak sa malamig na sahig.
"Why can't you love me?" I managed to ask. I opened my eyes. I want him to look straight to my eyes while answering me. "I'm not perfect, yes. I have all the qualities that you hate, yes. But didn't I make your heart flutter? Kahit isang segundo lang? S-Sinubukan mo man lang ba na mahalin ako? I may not be perfect as a person but I can be as a wife. You're the only person left in me. Ayokong maiwan ulit. Can't you just stay?" I managed to say in between tears.
"Kahit awa nalang, oh. Just don't leave me." I begged.
"I want you out of my life." he dropped like bomb.
Why is it so easy for him to leave me? I shouldn't have agreed to marry him where divorce exist! Para akong nawalan ng dugo habang pinagmamasdan siyang lisanin ang opisina. I felt the broken vase on my hands as I supported myself to stand up. I'll run after him. He shouldn't leave my sight. Baka hindi niya na ako balikan pa.
Nanghihinang humabol ako sakanya. Nakita ko sa mukha ng secretary ni Tage ang awa at simpatya. That's the least that I need right now. Kung awa galing kay Tage baka tanggapin ko pa.
Hindi ko na naabutan ang elevator na pinasukan ni Tage. I used the other elevator to cope up with him. Kung aalis siya, I'm sure he'll take the fire exit because reporters are still outside the company. Hindi ko na ininda ang sakit galing sa maliliit kong sugat sa katawan. When I reached the ground floor I saw horror on the employees' face while looking at me.
I look like a mess! Far from the sophisticated Russelle Ynessa Lambert-Del Prado.
"Did you see him?" even without dropping the name I know they would know whom I'm referring to. I saw hesitation on their faces.
"Just tell me where the fuck is my husband!" desperadong sigaw ko.
"He run after Ms. Arjente, M-Ma'am." I managed to stay strong despite the feeling of weakness consuming my system. Gusto ko nalang sumalampak sa sahig at humagulhol sa harapan nilang lahat.
"M-Ma'am, would you like me to c-clean your w-wounds?" awa, kaba, takot, 'yan ang nakikita ko sa mukha ng nagtanong.
I smiled weakly at her.
I feel so lost. Is this where I really belong? Gusto kong maraming taong nakapalibot sakin. I hate the feeling of being alone. I've been through all of it. Hindi ko na ata kakayanin kapag napag-iwanan ulit ako.
"C-Can you call him? Sabihin mo k-kailangan ko siya." I burst into tears. Umiwas ng tingin ang mga empleyado ng kompanya nang makita akong umiiyak. Bago ang ganitong emosiyon para sakanila. I am always that sophisticated and intimidating employer.
"Gamutin nalang po muna natin ang mga s-sugat mo. Baka po m-maimpeksiyon kayo." I shook my head.
"Call him... Please. I need my husband."
"T-Tell him... I'm going to take my life if he didn't s-show up."
"Ma'am?!" gulat na sabi nito.
I'm so desperate right now. I want an assurance na sakin pa rin siya uuwi. Sa bahay pa rin siya uuwi. I just need a fucking assurance. If threatening him about my life will make him stay, I'll fucking cut my pulse just so he would stay.
I was paralyzed when someone grabbed my hair. Hindi ko inasahan ang biglaang sabunot kaya napasalampak agad ko sa sahig. I landed on my back. Tumama pa ang ulo ko kaya nakaramdam agad ako ng hilo. Huli na bago makalaban dahil naramdaman ko ang pagdagan sakin.
Weak and devastated, I let the Mother of the woman who destroyed my marriage slap me countless times. Hindi ko na maramdaman ang sakit. My tears won't flow too. Maang lang akong nakatingin sakanya habang pinapaulanan niya ako ng sampal. Nabingi na rin ata ako dahil wala na akong marinig.
Slowly, I closed my eyes. I don't know how long she slapped me but I just felt her being lifted from me.
Nakapikit lang ako habang pinipilit na hanapin ang lakas na maigalaw kahit ang mga daliri ko man lang. I am the victim of an affair but looking how mad she is while slapping me, I feel like I was the one who ruined her child's relationship. Sabagay, ako nga naman pala talaga ang sumira ng relasiyon ng anak niya at asawa ko. Pero ako na ang may karapatan ngayon. May karapatan na ako dahil ako na ang asawa at kabit na ang anak niya. Kahit pa saang angulo tingnan, mali ang relasiyon ng anak niya at ng asawa ko.
Para akong baliw na tumatawa habang nakahilata sa malamig na sahig. I'm not happy. The laugh is a misery. I want to show them that I am brave enough to conquer this problem but I'm just a weakling who's afraid to be left out.
"Ma'am." pagtawag sakin ng mga nag-aalalang empleyado.
"Did you call him?" I managed to ask. The girl I asked to call Tage shook her head.
"Should I just die?" nanghihinang sabi ko. Sunod-sunod na iling ang isinagot niya. I saw her get her phone and dialed a number.
"Sir." she nervously called him. "Sumugod po si Mrs. Arjente dito. Si Ma'am kasi, Sir..."
I mouthed 'thank you' before I closed my eyes.
I am on my bed when I woke up. Ramdam ko ang pamamanhid ng mukha ko. When I look at my arms I saw band-aid on my wounds. Who brought me here?
Napabangon ako nang maalala ko si Tage. Did he bring me home? Is he here? My hope is high when I went out of my room. Tiningnan ko muna siya sa kwarto niya pero wala siya doon. Is he preparing dinner? It's already dark outside. Ang tagal ko palang nakatulog.
Nagmamadaling tinungo ko ang kusina only to find no one there.
The maids are nowhere to be found too. Ang takot ng pag-iisa ay muling namayani sa sistema ko. I hurriedly look around the house to find a sign of him. Pumasok ako sa bar area ng bahay but I didn't see him there. Nalibot ko na ang buong bahay ay hindi ko pa rin siya nakita.
Hindi na ako nagdalawang isip na katukin ang maid's chamber. Agad namang may nagbukas ng pinto para sa akin. Bakas ang antok sa mukha ni Manang Adelina nang pagbuksan ako ng pinto.
"Manang... who brought me home?" I asked the sleepy Manang Adelina.
"Empleyado po ng kompanya niyo, Ma'am." Hindi si Tage?
"How about Tage?" please tell me he came home to check on me. The last thing that I remembered is kausap siya ng babaeng pinakiusapan kong tawagan siya.
"Hindi pa ho ba nauwi?" I bite the inside of my cheeks to suppress myself from crying. Hindi pa siya umuuwi.
Hindi na ko nagpaalam kay Manang Adelina. I hurriedly searched for my phone. My heart is painfully clenching as I grabbed my phone to call him. Nung una nag riring pa pero nang subukan ko ulit na tawagan ay patay na ang cellphone niya.
Come on, baby, I need you home. Comeback to me. Bumalik ka sakin. Just comeback and I'll show you how much I love you. I'll forgive you for cheating on me. Kakalimutan ko ang lahat. We'll start again.