Chapter 38
Gracie's POV
It's Love
Where am I?
Turning around I was met by pitch darkness the same as what was in front of me. Leaning over to what felt like a wall I slid my fingers over the cold surface as I carefully walked forward.
My breaths were uneven and shallow as I wondered what could be amongst the dark that laid ahead.
"Relax." I breathed out
It's probably just a power outage, yeah that's it. Than why don't I feel any furniture? As that thought crossed my mind I searched frantically in front of me for a chair or lamp, even a light-switch will do. Nothing though.
Maybe I'm in the hallway, I thought.
Up ahead I spotted a glowing bright light that had a smile twitch onto my face. Dropping my arms I raced forward getting closer the the brightness, as I neared I spotted a figure up ahead. Squinting my eyes I recognized the broad shoulders and tousled dark hair.
"Jason." I yelled as I quickened my pace, a smile broke onto my face at the sight of him
Reaching his side I threw my arms around his slim waist and nuzzled my cheek against his toned back. "Hey what's wrong?" I asked when he didn't turn around "Jason?" I called out as I pulled away
But as I let go Jason tipped back and fell with a thump to the ground, his eyes wide as they stared aimlessly at the ceiling and a knife jammed into his heart.
"No." I gasped feeling my chest tighten as I shook my head in disbelief
Yet the pool of blood surrounding his cold lifeless body was proof. Dropping to my knees I pressed my hands to his chest hoping to feel a thump, a breath, anything that would indicate he's alive. Nothing, I thought heavy heartedly.
"Jason no." grabbing his shoulders I gave him a shake as if it would help "Jason!" I shouted giving him a harder shake
Not a flutter of his lashes, not a blink of an eye, not even a twitch of his thin pink-pale lips! Raising my shaky fingers up to his lips I felt the bitter coldness of a corpse's mouth. He's- oh God no!!
Unable to hold the piercing pain in my chest I let the tears run down my cheeks as I dropped my face into his bloodied torso.
How? How did this happen? Who would have- a bone chilling hackle rang through the hallway answering the questions that ran through my mind. Lifting my head up I saw my worst nightmare staring smugly down at me, his hands at his sides dripping with blood- Jason's.
"Now that he's out of the way...." he said amused by the situation
Pulling Jason's body against mine I didn't care that I was covered in blood as long as he never gets near Jason.
"Stay away from him." I hissed
He chuckled and bent down to my height blood dripping from his fingers. His eyes swam with pride and victory at what he's down, I shivered at the cold blooded emotion as they bore into mine.
"It's not him I want." he said, lowering his hand to Jason's shoulder he wiped his hand as if he'd never touched Jason
Jerking his body closer to me I felt the fear and anger shaking my body, emotionally and physically. Anger at the lifeless body in my arms of a caring, wonderful man and fear as the man responsible sitting a foot away.
"You see Gracie it's you I want and I'm going to get you." he said as another dark, sinister smirk came onto his face
He bent forward so his face was directly in front of mine "You'll always be mine." he added with a chuckle
With a gasp I rose off-the bed panting at the horrible dream. It seemed so real, the hackle, his voice the last phrase he said. I shivered at the phrase he always said to me when I would try rebelling. From beside me was a low moan as the body shifted up pulling the covers off.
"Sorry to wake you Jason I had this horrible nightmare." I sighed as I felt the bed dip as he sat up
"What was it about?" he asked
I gasped and turned towards Jason's side of the bed and saw Ben there instead. ~
Jerking up I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as I looked around the pitch black room in pure panic. Running my hands over the empty spot on the bed I sighed relieved that no one was there. Pressing my hand to my racing heart I tried regulating my uneven breathing.
"It was a dream, just a part of your imagination." I told myself
I replayed the back to back dreams in my head, the first was definitely worse than the other. Finding Ben next to me was something I've been expecting for weeks now but to see Jason... to see him lifeless was more than enough to still my rapid heartbeat. The dream only made me rethink leaving the McTern's before something bad actually happens but after the unconditional protection and love they give me I don't want to return to that abuse and neglect. I know it's selfish but I want what any other person in the world wants love.
My thoughts drifted to a certain once moody man. How would it feel to be loved by Jason? Real love that every girl dreams of finding one day. Letting my eyes flutter close I imagined Jason saying the actual words with the love shining in his eyes.
A faint smile touched my lips as I pondered what life would be like if we were both in love or married. Quickly ridding the thought out of my mind I scoffed at the silliness of my wandering thoughts. We've been together for what two months, that's not enough time to fall in love or get married.
Sighing my lids flooded open "Yet I've managed to do half of that."
I'm not sure how or when. Maybe the first day he smiled at me, or the time he first kissed me or the way he treats Sarah as if she were his daughter. I'm not sure when it happened either. Last week, a month ago or perhaps the first day he walked into the diner. The exact moment of when or how it happened I'm still not quite sure but what I do know is I've fallen in love with Jason.
It's true I've fallen in love just like I always hoped but the timing is terrible. Ben is still out there although he's not contacting us since he sent those photos of Sarah and me that same day he tried snatching her from school. The law can't help us until Ben actually commits a crime so he's been free as a bird all this time but I can't help but feel like he's close by. It's a silly notion but I could of sworn I seen him outside of the diner a week ago but when Jack, Liam, Tom and Jason went to check it out they saw no one other than some regular truckers.
I'm always squinting at a man that resembles Ben at the diner. Looking over my shoulder expecting to see him behind me, shuddering as I imagine him watching me even when I'm alone with Jason in his office. Until the Ben situation is completely finished with I don't think we can move forward.
But still it doesn't change the fact that I love him and want more from this relationship than a sweet smile indicating his attraction towards me. I want Jason, all of him.
Speaking of the dashing Irishman, glancing over to his side of the bed I noticed it was empty. Tossing the covers off my body I jumped out of bed quietly tip toeing out into the partly lit hallway that Jason kept on in case Sarah woke in the middle of the night she been haven a few nightmares of her own these past couple of months. Sometimes Sarah would be so frighten we can hear her wailing in her sleep from our room, she only falls back asleep when Jason rocks her gently as he whispers in her ear. It takes a while but she sleeps soundly till morning and Jason insists it's not a bother, that doesn't mean I feel less guilty for having him get up in the middle of the night. Beneath the guilt though there is complete adoration and love for Jason for every minute he spends rocking my-our daughter.
Stepping off the last step I heard a low mumbling coming from the living room. Straining my neck around the walk blocking my view I spotted the top of Jason dark head. He was pacing with his hands behind his back as he mumbled incoherently. Rounding the corner I slowly made my way towards him.
"-it won't be that hard just say it you oaf." he hissed to himself
"What won't be that hard?" I asked grabbing his attention
His round horrified eyes snapped up obviously not expecting to see me, his usual smirk wasn't there as his bottom lip hung just slightly and a light rosy shade of red spread over his cheeks.
"W-what are you doing up?" he asked sounding surprised at my presence
Shrugging my shoulders as if it were nothing I said "Bad dream, what are you doing down here talking to yourself?"
The cute surprised blush faded from his cheeks as his features hardened at the mention of another nightmare.
"Another nightmare?" he asked as he strode to my side his hand reaching out to cup the side of my face in a gentle caress. The emotion floating in those deep blue eyes was of concern that had my heart tripping over itself as the dream returned vividly to my mind. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No, I don't want to think about it anymore." I said meaning Ben rather than my nightmares
Respecting my privacy he nodded a small crease forming between his brows as he thought of what this dream was about. Glancing at the modern silver rimmed clock hanging in the wall it read three-forty.
"You didn't answer my question why are you up so late-er early?" I asked placing my hand in the crook of his arm
It was his turn to shrug "I had something on my mind."
Squinting up at him I could tell there was more to it than a thought but still I didn't push on.
Trailing my hand up his arm I let my fingers brush his shoulder as I slid my palm flat over his heart recalling how in my dream there was a knife through Jason's heart. Sensing the upcoming tears I spread my fingers over his beating heart to prove he's alive and safe before I start bawling my eyes out like an emotional idiot.
"Do you feel that?" he whispered
I nodded immediately, the quick thudding of his heart felt familiar beneath my fingers. My throat felt dry as I swallowed in the hopes of moistening my sand paper throat but it was pointless, the feel of his heart and the deep rise and fall of his chest as he breathed heavy.
Blowing out a small breath I couldn't help the trembling of my fingers, I want to tell him but how?
"You do that to me." he breathed fanning my cheek
"Stop that." I groaned and leaned my head against his shoulder "Stop being so sweet and perfect." I mumbled as I snuggled my face deeper into his shirt and inhaled his musky cologne with the slight mix of his natural scent of soap and his woods scent
"Perfect huh?" he chuckled his chest shaking with laughter
"Don't gloat." I said and stepped away from him, walking around him I made my way to the heavy burgundy curtains draping over each window in the glamourous living room
Grabbing the edge of the velvety fabric and pulled it back just enough for to get peek at the man dressed in a black jogging suit pacing at the back corner of the backyard. That's one of six guards that have been hired to watch the house, for the past few weeks I've watched them patrol the perimeter of the house just waiting for the worst to happen. These men have families and they could be hurt but I guess they knew that when they took the job.
Dropping the curtain back in place and turned to face Jason who was watching me intently, as if I might jump through the window. "Don't you think the guards are too much? Shouldn't the cameras and security system be enough." I asked folding my arms over my chest
"Gracie we've been over this."
"I know but I don't like how much your spending on this-"
Jason stretched his legs out reaching my side with two strides and gripped my forearms, he shook his head seeming as if he's looking for the right words. Just as his lips parted I thought he was going to speak than he snapped his mouth shut as a shimmering blue sparkled in his eyes. Before I could figure the emotion out he lowered his mouth onto mine in a soft, feather like kiss that had my toes curling at the gentleness.
His lips were but a whisper as they brushed back and forth against mine igniting a deep need for his mouth to grow urgent. But to my disappointment he pulled away too soon for my liking.
"It's worth your safety besides what would I have done with the money?" he said his breath mingling with my own
Bringing my hand up to the collar of his T-shirt I pulled gently on the hem while I purposely trailed my pinky under the fabric "I'm guessing Susan at The Cherry won't be getting much of your money anymore now will she." I teased
He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut briefly as a sour expression spread across his face "Jack told you." he asked
"No Lucielle did." I answered and pulled him down to me, I saw his face pale at that mention of his aunt
Actually it was a priceless expression and the awkwardness of his aunt knowing about the stripper he had a crush on when he was eighteen. Sure I was jealous by the fact that he was obsessed with some thirty year old prostitute who liked to dress as a slutty schoolmarm, thankfully nothing happened between them. The woman had a limit with the 'child' as she called him despite Jason's pleas and money he earned from working at the diner.
Jack eventually realized his nephew's money was being spent at a whore house and put an end to a teenage boy's fantasy.
"Did you really ask her to suck your-"
He pressed his forefinger to my lips cutting off my sentence, laughter bubbled on my lips at the disgusted expression at his past 'hobby'. "Don't ever mention that or The Cherry ever again." he instructed while avoiding my gaze
I nodded, that won't be a problem especially since I hate the fact the that woman ever had her tongue down my man's mouth. "On one condition, you show me exactly what you wanted when you went to that club."
The way his head snapped in my direction it was a wonder his neck didn't snap in two. The excitement in his eyes was like a bolt of lightening brightening the never ending sky with the light of both beauty and mischief to come.
"That would just stir up old needs." he said pouting his lips out as he played along
Catching my bottom lip between my teeth I tilted my head up so are gazes were locked "Don't worry I'll tend to those needs and some of my own." I purred in a seductive tone as I grazed my teeth against his neck
A deep animal like growl bursted from his chest as his arms circled my waist and pulled me up over his arm in one swift move that had me light headed and not from being upside down.
"I thought I'm suppose to please you." I wondered out loud as he walked me into the private guess room built behind the living room, we've used the room multiple times over the past two months.
You could say it's become a common place for us to get lost with each other, so common I've hid some special surprises in here for when the time is right.
Turning the doorknob Jason kicked the door shut just barely missing my head. He approached the soft violet bed and flung me onto to the bouncy mattress before crawling on all fours between my slightly parted legs, the silk ivory robe I wore rode up to the upper part of my thigh revealing my skimpy white laced panties.
He trailed his warm large hands up my inner thigh and pulled my legs further apart "I'd rather do the pleasing if you don't mind." he said as he lowered his head toward my womanhood that was throbbing for attention
As soon as his breath hit my skin my knees quaked as my breathing became shallow and my eyes rolled in the back of my head. Grabbing fistfuls of his dark hair I pulled him deeper gasping at the contact.
"I don't mind at all." I managed to whisper as he took me to heaven
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Darting through the growing crowd of officers I found it difficult to breath let alone walk as each man and woman laughed over whatever jokester they managed to bust on their last shift, they were thrusting their arms out so into their storytelling that they didn't see me trying to bring everybody their orders on time. At one point a deputy almost knocked the coffee mugs I had on a tray all over me.
Squeezing through the standing officers by the counter I grabbed the two plates of eggs benedict with a side order of extra crispy bacon and of a whole plate full of sausages and a tower of waffles.
"Pfhh wee talk about a day for business." Liam huffed placing a fresh whole wheat biscuit by the eggs
"Tell me about it I almost got trampled twice." I joked
Jackie pushed past me her dark brown hair stained with powdered sugar and a grains of sugar. "I hope there's a donut outage." she grumbled
"Than they might start eating us." Liam chuckled and turned back into the kitchen into the chaos of sweets and morning grease
I looked over Jackie's messy appearance, she wasn't as lucky as me. One officer was on his way out when he tripped and his box of powder donuts dropped all over her. Than the rookie who couldn't open his packet of sugar so it spilled all over her.
"To think these morons are all here because one jackass decided to pay for breakfast." she grumbled under her breath as she stacked her plates
"Watch it that jackass is the sheriff." Jack warned
The sheriff? The same strange old man who comes in every morning sits in the same seat at the front counter and stares at me never taking his eyes off my chest. I shivered just at the image of his eyes running over the length of my body, taking my image in as if to store it in his memory. The man made the small hairs on my arm rise but he hasn't really done anything wrong so I can't really tell Jason or God knows what he'll do. Besides the man is a sheriff.
With a roll of her eyes Jackie grabbed my orders and returned back into the swarm of officers, Jason still doesn't want me doing much work even though I'm fully recovered. Grabbing the fresh pot of coffee I went to go round filling the dozens of mugs. That's if Jason doesn't barge out and stop me like last week.
"Miss." a young officer called
This specific man has been calling me over for no reason other than to try his lacking moves on me. Forcing a pearly smile I reluctantly approached the filled booth hoping none of them would try anything. I don't know how much of this I can take before I explode.
"More coffee?" I asked
The young blonde grinned sheepishly as he held up his half empty mug "Miss I hope you don't mind me asking but would you have dinner with me?"
Oh no! The man looked up at me the eyes gleaming with hope. How am I suppose to let him down, gently I guess.
"That's really nice of you and I'm flattered really it's just-I'm already in a relationship."
The smile dropped from the man's face as did what courage he managed to muster up to ask in the first place. Guilt washed over me but I love Jason and no amount of guilt can make me leave him.
Another officer at the table leaned his elbow on the table and flashed a dashing grin.
"Maybe one night with me would change your mind." he said and raised his brow suggestively
Okay this is just annoying and a bit rude. Didn't I just say I'm in a relationship? This guy won't make me feel guilty and I'm sure his ego can drop a few levels.
"Listen I bet you guys are nice in all but I'm taken by a great guy who makes me happy so thanks but no thanks."
The cocky officer rolled his eyes as if he didn't hear a word I said. "But I can make you happier, come on babe."
Placing my hands on my hips I scoffed at his stupidity.
"Listen mister I'm not going to tell you again that I'm-"
"Taken." a masculine voice said from behind me
A smile touched my lips as a large hand rested on my waist pulling up against a hard rock chest. If it weren't for the several eyes watching me I would have melted against him in pure bliss. Especially when I think about our event filled early morning, my body sparked to life with the same passion that had me trembling this morning.
Tilting my head up I felt my heart skip a beat at the blue eyes staring down at me as if I was a priceless gem.
"Your together?" the cocky officer asked not sounding too cocky now
"Yeah so try not hitting on my girlfriend would you." Jason said his tone dangerously serious
That doesn't sound too good. Placing the coffee down on the table I gripped Jason's forearm and tugged him to the far corner of the restaurant not caring that everyone was watching us.
"Relax he's just another idiot." I said lacing my fingers with his thick manly ones
Sighing loudly Jason glanced over at the table of officers before turning his attention back to me. "Sorry I just couldn't take watching that ass throw himself at you."
"Your jealous." I giggled as I leaned into him and placed a soft kiss on his lips
He groaned against my lips not thinking it's as funny. Sure it's cute but he has no reason to be.
"Your the only man for me." I said as I pulled away and brought our entwined fingers up to my chest
"I know it's just seeing so many men constantly flirting with you keeps reminding me that you could be with any man in the world." he said a flash of pain shadowed his anger
This is new, I knew Jason was worried about me getting bored in the relationship or as he says 'get curious' and leave but I didn't realize how unsecured he is until this moment. He believes I'd leave him.
He shook his head cutting me off when I began telling him otherwise "You say that you want me now but what about tomorrow when a guy like that comes around, or next week. I don't know it still scares me to think you could just leave."
Slipping my fingers from his I ran a nervous hand through my hair that was flowing over my shoulders without any elastic band to limit it's wildness. He doesn't know how much I care for him- how much I love him. If I tell him it would surely end all doubts in his mind but that would mean my feelings would be out there, raw and ready to be let down.
"Jason...." I stopped and glanced up at the conflict hardening his features up in a way that made him look in pain
I inhaled a lung full of air unsure of where to go from here. Tell him and rid him of any thoughts that I might leave. And the possible outcome of scaring him off.
"Don't say you won't because you can't promise me that you'll stay with me forever."
Forever? A spark of hope had my heart warming up like a single heater in the midst of winter. Is he saying- I gulped feeling a smile spread across my lips.
Rising up on the balls of my feet I caught his perfectly sculpted jaw between my hands and stared him right in the eye knowing if I said what was in my heart there is no turning back.
But I'm willing to lay the cards out there.
"Jason there is really no one out there for me, I love you and no man can come along and take me away when my heart already belongs to you." I said in one breath fearing if I slowed down I'd never get the words out
His mouth slacked as if I thrown a knockout punch right to his gut rather than devote my unconditional love. Doubt was like a quick growing seed in my heart that grew with every second Jason stared blankly at me. Did he mean forever or was it just an exaggeration?
My arms dropped to my side as I watched him gape like he'd never seen me before in his life. I shouldn't have said it, it was too soon.
"You said you love me?" he asked
"Yes." I answered nervously
Jason shook his head the corners of his mouth twitching into a smile. "Love as in 'your a great friend I love you' or love like 'we've been together for two months and I love you'."
Knotting my fingers together I mumbled the second one hoping he didn't laugh. It hasn't happened since we first lived together but right at that moment a swarm of butterflies were cluttered in my stomach as I waited nervously for his response.
"Come on Gracie." he sighed
His exasperated tone had my heart sinking into a puddle beneath my stomach. Although my eyes stung with tears I forced my head up high and bottled my disappointment behind a shaky grin I tried plastering as a camouflage but it kept slipping.
Jason huffed out as if he'd been running a mile "I've been planning the perfect moment when to tell you and you beat me to it at moment like this?"
What? My brows scrunched up creasing slightly where they met at the his strange comment, releasing the squirmy grip of my fingers I examined him. His expression was controlled yet still had the hint of surprise but the way he spoke wasn't of a man freaking out but rather one who was excited.
"You've been trying to tell me? Since when?" I asked as a grin stretched across my face
He raised his hand up to his neck running his fingers over the shorter hair in the back of his head "A while yet you manage to do what I couldn't for months in only seconds." he chuckled humorlessly
Months! He's felt this way for months! I could barely control the rapid in take of breaths I was taking as my mind was going hundred miles per hour with the blissful idea of being in love. Pressing my hand to my heavy rising and falling chest I released a shaky breath.
"Gracie you okay Hun?" I heard Lucielle ask from far away but I could barely hear her through the banging of my heart
At that moment the laughter, talking and noise in the diner became a distant roaring as I gawked at the man in front of me completely dumbstruck "Can you be specific, you feel-" I trailed off letting him fill in the blank
He chuckled at my tactic to get the exact words out of him, lowering his arm all trace of humor vanished leaving him taking me in with a sober expression.
"I love you, that's how I feel." he said all while keeping our gazes locked
There it is! Just last night I was wondering how it would feel to be in love and loved back. When I was younger I would wonder what my prince charming would be like, handsome, smart, sensitive, protective or all of the above, in my mind I'd play a movie scene where he'd taken me away from my drunken mom and strange stepfather. As I got older and Ben began to act on his feelings for me I refused to think too much about any hope of being in love anymore, it seemed childish once I saw the real world. My chances of finding love seemed slim and pointless the more Ben became attached and controlling.
Yet here I stand hearing what I've dreamed of and I can't seem to utter a single coherent word.
"You....love.... Oh my god..."
My legs wobbled and quaked together as if they were pieces of string rather than legs capable of holding me up, my head felt as light as a feather blowing in the wind and I knew I would faint.
Jason caught me by the waist just as my body rocked forward "Whoa." he gasped into my ear as he lifted me against him a broad smile brightening his face
"Don't do that love you'll take ten years off my life."
His deep voice was like velvet in my ears, soft, rich and so irresistibly to tempting. Gripping his muscular forearms I pulled myself up so he wasn't supporting my body weight.
"I love you too." I blurted like a love sick puppy, pressing my face into his chest I held back the tears sting my eyes
Freeing his arms from my grip he wrapped me with his protective arms against the warm comfort of his body. He bent his head and kissed the crown of my head and pressed a chaste kiss "Sorry it took me forever to admit and an obnoxious officer."
Squirming away from his chest I looked up through my lashes feeling a warmness spread through out my chest. I could careless if it took him five years and a diner full of obnoxious men as long as he still feels the same.
I shook my head as my vision blurred with tears of happiness "It doesn't matter just as long as you still love me at the end of the day." I sniffed just as a tear slipped down followed by two more
"Tonight, tomorrow and forever." he replied in a hushed whisper
He stroked his thumbs across my cheeks wiping the evidence of my joy, lowering his head towards mine I was eager for a kiss when suddenly there was a burst of applause. Jumping in complete surprise I turned to see the whole diner on their feet clapping. That's why the diner went silent, they were watching Jason and I!
The blood red blush that consumed my face was most likely covering every inch of my body, Jason who had a smug grin on pulled me to his side "It's official men keep your hands off." he announced
"Take your own advice." Jackie shouted over her shoulder as she returned back to her customers
The diner bursted into laughter taking away from the slight awkwardness that I felt only seconds ago. Leaning my head onto Jason's shoulder I listened to his deep laugh thinking how lucky I am to have the love of a wonderful man. And to have every know it too.
Smiling at the thought I spotted an officer with his hat pulled low over his face slip quietly out the door. Squinting at the figure quickly running toward a grey sedan, is that- no it could be he would be stupid enough to come with all these cops here.
Would he?