At my most recent appointment
I was given a depression screening
As usual
But
I decided to not
Lie
I figured if I did fail
If I was in a concerning state
That I could use the help
They offered
Because I sure as hell feel like I need it
They didn't even tell my mom to leave the room
So I had to say that I did feel like a disappointment
To my family
In front of my mom
Who didn't show emotion
I failed
They gave me one for anxiety too
I failed that too
They gave me a talk
About how fucked up
the shit I have been through is
The shit I have been through was IT
At 14
An age with high levels of anxiety and depression
Even before
The global pandemic
On the summary they gave us at the end of the visit had instructions
To call my primary healthcare doctor
To talk about possible treatments
For Depression and Anxiety symptoms
At first My mom suggested
Piano lessons
To get me out of the basement
that was deemed my bedroom
After my little sister wanted her own
And I cried
In the middle of a Perkins
Trying to eat chicken strips
Through the shame
My appointment is scheduled for Monday