The Group Chat (Marauders AU)

By reject_20

595K 16.6K 10.5K

The five Marauders have a group chat. This should be fun, right? More

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14 years later

95

2.3K 65 37
By reject_20

🖕🏼the pack🖕🏼

baby black🥺🖤
i'm gonna die

who do i have to kill now?

baby black🥺🖤
ME
i was too busy doing owl prep that i forgot the astronomy hw

lion bitch🦁❤️
padfoot
i believe this is your area of expertise

puppy🐕🖤
what do you need?

baby black🥺🖤
sent two photos!

puppy🐕🖤
give me ten minutes tops
someone time me

wormy🐭✨
already started

puppy🐕🖤
k

sister❤️
while padfoot is doing that
can someone make jade and frank stop singing line without a hook in the middle of the hallway
she looks drunk

angel🥺❤️
really?

best black👯‍♀️
sent a video!

my moony🌙❤️
the way she fell on her knees on the bridge
little vixen
everything okay?

yeah
yesterday was driver's license
today is line without a hook
tomorrow
who knows

puppy🐕🖤
sent two photos!
time?

wormy🐭✨
six minutes and five seconds

that's gibberish

puppy🐕🖤
it's constellations sunshine
and planets

still gibberish

baby black🥺🖤
THANK YOUUUUUUUUU🥺

puppy🐕🖤
your eyes only baby brother
your classmates can rot in hell for all i care

frankenstein🧟‍♂️✨
this just in
jade is about to kill someone

istg
IF I HEAR ANOTHER GRYFF TALK SHIT ABOUT MY HOUSE
ILL THROW HANDS
IM FUCKING PISSED

my moony🌙❤️
okay
so we can all agree that we're gonna kill the asshat with vix
right?

baby black🥺🖤
can i join?
i got a knife
jade gave another one

sister❤️
sure
i'll get the guns

puppy🐕🖤
i'll get the crowbar
i'm beating the asshole to a pulp

wormy🐭✨
nobody is siriusly going to ask what happened?

lion bitch🦁❤️
with jade we don't ask
we act
she says the word and we do it
it's like soldiers going to war

true shit

my moony🌙❤️
what year?

seventh
johnson

puppy🐕🖤
he's a bitch
don't listen to him sunshine

WHY IS IT THAT AMBITION HAS TO BE THE SAME AS KILLING
WHAT IF MY AMBITION IS TO LOOK BADASS TODAY
OR TO READ THIRTY CHAPTERS OF A BOOK
OR TO WATCH AN ENTIRE SEASON OF SUPERNATURAL IN A DAY
WHY DOES AMBITION HAVE TO EQUAL KILLING SOMEONE
WHY
JUST WHY

baby black🥺🖤
THANK YOU
THANK YOU
THANK YOU
MY GOD
SOMEONE GETS IT
YOU ASSHOLES DONT KNOW THE STRUGGLES WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH
IM LITERALLY DYING ON THE INSIDE A LITTLE MORE EACH DAY BECAUSE OF IT

BITCH SAME

my moony🌙❤️
VIXEN AND REG NO

best black👯‍♀️
is there something you two wanna talk about?

baby black🥺🖤
no
it just pisses us off
like
god-
we're not evil
we're just cunning
AND ITS THANKS TO JADE'S CUNNING MIND THAT YOU MARAUDERS ARE STILL ALIVE

lion bitch🦁❤️
we know reg
trust us
we know

puppy🐕🖤
can i be honest for a sec?

angel🥺❤️
no one's stopping you, pads

puppy🐕🖤
i used to fucking hate you snakes
hell
when vix was sorted i tried to hate her
i really did

thanks yk?
really feeling the love here, babe

puppy🐕🖤
i haven't finished, dummy
as i was saying

blondie👯‍♀️
writing*

puppy🐕🖤
you done?
all of you are done?

sister❤️
no
but we'll shut up for now
continue, puppy

puppy🐕🖤
ANYWAYS-
after i got over my initial hatred and after me trying to hate on vixen for a year and a half

three years

puppy🐕🖤
I APOLOGIZED FOR THAT
NEXT TIME ILL BEG ON MY DAMN KNEES

dude
chill
just messing with you
my god

lion bitch🦁❤️
i'm not
YOU MADE MY SISTER CRY YOU SON OF A BITCH

puppy🐕🖤
YES I AM
and i know...
no need to bring it up james
that was the worst month of my life
being crucio'd by walburga doesn't compare to not having vix talk to me for a month

bam bam stop
i forgave him for that
now stfu

lion bitch🦁❤️
sorry ma'am
head simp
continue

best black👯‍♀️
wait hold up
what really was the reason that vix didn't talk to you?
you never told me

my moony🌙❤️
i'll say it
the week you transferred we went to hogsmeade
we started teasing james with evans as usual until he dropped the bomb
"just like you and sirius love each other"
pads exploded and not in a good way
"how could i ever love a snake like her?"
vix got pissed, i got pissed, everyone got pissed
so she left and didn't join on any pranks for a month
only hung out with you ladies and snivelus and regulus
hell
even peeves missed her
and that's saying something
so yeah
that's the summary of what happened

best black👯‍♀️
starboy
you and i are having a conversation tonight after dinner
no excuses

frankenstein🧟‍♂️✨
that lowkey terrifies me
anyways
sirius
you may continue your train of thought

puppy🐕🖤
i'm lowkey scared rn
and if one more person interrupts me and i'll lose it
ANYWAYS-
after all the bullshit that happened
i knew that i wasn't going to get rid of vix that easily so i decided to actually get to know the girl behind the green tie
and she was the one who taught me that just because you're a slytherin, it doesn't mean you're different or evil
just because you value ambition over courage doesn't mean you're evil
and yeah
jade may give off scary slytherin vibes 24/7 but she's a total sweetheart
we all know this
if anything reg
i honestly couldn't care less where you were sorted
i somewhat wanted gryffindor so we can give walburga a run for her money
but something inside me always knew that you were a snake
so reg
next time someone talks shit about your house
sock them in the jaw and call vix
she'll handle them 😌

lion bitch🦁❤️
he went from simp
to overprotective brother
to simp
to overprotective brother
my god

best black👯‍♀️
honestly?
couldn't have put it better myself
aside from the simping
i also was kinda on the fence when lils told me a potter was in slytherin
but then i saw her talking to starboy and i knew she was different from the rest
mostly because i saw the chemistry those two had by just giving them one glance

shut up solis

best black👯‍♀️
oh come on vix
you two are bound to get married
it's only a matter of time

puppy🐕🖤
sungirl
shut up

best black👯‍♀️
sorry
anyways
SOCK JOHNSON IN THE JAW VIX
SOCK HIM

blondie👯‍♀️
WAIT NO
BITCH WAIT UP
WAIT FOR MEEEEEE
I WANNA SOCK HIM TOO

crookshanks he's your housemate

blondie👯‍♀️
so?
he's an ass sometimes

lion bitch🦁❤️
he started acting like that when he didn't make the team back in fifth year
decent player
but wood wanted the best of the best

robert wood can suck my dick
god how i hate his ass

blondie👯‍♀️
he was a good captain
but prongs is better
he actually gives us breaks
wood made us practice until frank and i threw quaffles at him

best black👯‍♀️
and sirius and i send bludgers his way

baby black🥺🖤
he's basically nott
he does the same
four hours of nonstop flying until azriel just stops blocking and tells him where to stuff the quaffle

nott can kiss my ass
throw a knife at him
don't be shy👀
i've got some light throwing knives you can borrow
just make sure you clean the blood
they're freshly sharpened

frankenstein🧟‍♂️✨
i'm fucking terrified to see jade's knife collection

puppy🐕🖤
it's impressive actually
terrifying and sometimes gives me nightmares
but impressive

terrifying how?

puppy🐕🖤
you have them sorted by colors, size, weight and sharpness
it's not the knives that scare me
it's the way you treat them as if they were your own children

they kinda are tho
most of those knives were gifts
i still have my first one with me
the one that dad gave me way back in fourth year

lion bitch🦁❤️
what about the ones that i bought you?

all of them are still with me

my moony🌙❤️
exactly how many do you have?

idk
lost count after 22
i'll count them again one day
hell
i'll even put them on display for all of you dumbasses to see

baby black🥺🖤
and that what's terrifying me rn
she doesn't have them displayed in her room?

puppy🐕🖤
nope
she has them in small cases in her room around her bookshelf

lion bitch🦁❤️
and before every school year she sharpens them, tells mum where they are in case of an emergency and packs like five switchblades, six throwing knives and two butterfly knives

sister❤️
she has butterfly knives?

yep
still learning how to use them
surprisingly snuffles knows how to
he's the one teaching me

puppy🐕🖤
yep

angel🥺❤️
when the two of you can be psycho together
couple goals

sister❤️
god can the two of you get married already

puppy🐕🖤
EVANS
SHUT UP

wormy🐭✨
👁👄👁

blondie👯‍♀️
👁👄👁

baby black🥺🖤
👁👄👁

i'm legit so confused
so i'm just gonna ignore it for now ig

my moony🌙❤️
its best for you, little vixen

ummm
okay?

lion bitch🦁❤️

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