Max woke up to an indecent amount of pain in her head, grumbling and rolling out of Chloe's full body hold. She shuffled behind her, hips pressing close as she managed to hug the brunette from behind even while half asleep. She tightened her grip, squeezing gently around her waist. Max groaned again, trying to find her voice with several attempts at clearing her throat.
"Hey um, Chloe where are my meds?" Tears were brimming, much to her refusal. She willed her body to be silent while Chloe managed to stand and speed over to her desk, nearly tripping over the trash and clothes. Grumbling. She heard a paper bag rustling, and the shake of a bottle. Chloe handed them to her and excused herself to go get her some water. She focused on the sound of her footfalls in the hallway, down the stairs until she couldn't hear them anymore.
She held the bottle in shaking hands, cursing the world. Her head only felt like this when she pushed the borders of her rewind, and she had but that was a whole day ago. The affects were obviously worse, and she also cursed the fact that she didn't have a choice. At all.
"It'll be ok, you big baby." Came a voice, her voice, from the foot of the bed. She met her gaze, watched her walk around the bed like a stalking lion.
"Good morning to you too."
Maxine kneeled in front of her, gently taking a hold of her face and soothing the skin with cold fingers. Max flinched at the touch, but there was a pull to give into it. A strange comfort. A hold, control that thrummed back and forth, their shared power. The same soul, voice, body, mind. Different goals, one a slave one the master.
But she's still me.
I am her.
" I know who you are and how you feel. We got off on the wrong foot many times, Max. But I want you to know we're gonna make sure you heal before we do anything big. Go"
"Is that an apology?" She rasped, swallowing thickly.
"You could call it that. I'll see you later."
In a blink she was gone and Max was left trembling, shaken and parched. Chloe returned with a glass of water, sitting beside her curled up legs and taking the bottle from her hand. She opened it, popped out two pills and helped her take them, petting her hair afterwards.
"Thank you, so much." She whispered, letting herself fall back into the pillow behind her."Sorry that was a rude way to wake you up."
"Nah, I should've set an alarm. My bad, girl."
She smiled up at her, taking in her ruffled appearance and sleepy eyes.
Mine.
She reached for her hand and Chloe met her half way, holding gently.
"Do you want to keep resting? Or take a bath? Breakfast? I can bring it up here for you." She tilted her head at each idea, each one spilling from perfect lips.
"I do be kinda hungry." She admitted, stomach empty and small.
"Aight, breakfast it is." She leaned, lithe body crouching to place a kiss on her forehead, then her lips. She reached up, pulling Chloe closer by her shoulders, feeling her shoulder blades through her thin shirt. Chloe tripped up for a moment, before turning her head to the right, making the simple kiss deeper.
She pulled away after a moment, patted her leg and made her way downstairs.
**********
A moment of calm.
Warm and big and grounding, feeling the carpet under her bare feet. Smelling breakfast and hearing her mom singing.
How could I have taken all of this for granted?
Maybe she should cut herself some slack, seeing how she had learned so much. Almost lost so much. She had lost so much.
"Hey mom!" She said, voice sounding overwhelmingly happy in her own ears. Joyce turned from the stove, spatula in hand. She couldn't help but notice how surprised she looked.
"Good morning Chloe. How's Max?"
"Hungry apparently. Watch'a making?" She peered over at the stove, seeing pancakes. She realized she too was starving."Oh god. First dibs."
"I think Max has earned first dibs. Poor thing. Did she take her medicine?"
"Oh yeah she's all doped up."
"That's good I suppose- can you grab some plates? So you can take some food to your girl."
Chloe tripped, quite suddenly, her toe the poor victim of spasmodic coordination. She hopped for a minute, clutching her toe."My what?"
"Not blind, Chloe." Joyce laughed, and Chloe started to realize she was missing way more of the puzzle than she originally thought."When y'all finally reconnected, you hung around her every day. Smiled like I haven't seen you smile in years. I was worried Rachel would get jealous, but she was happy enough to be a trio. You girls crack me up and I got so worried when she called me."
Chloe stared blankly at the floor.
So there is an alternate me- just like Maxine.
"-Rachel was so frantic when she called me from your phone. At first I was surprised you were calling-"
"Well maybe I just wanted to hear your voice! You better not assume the worst when I call." She joked, heart still beating hard under her ribs."-but yeah uh, that was crazy." She lied, trying to think of a way to get more information.
"I just know she's lucky to have you both."
"We're all lucky." It slipped out, feeling relief wash over her.
I should text Rachel soon.
She grabbed two water bottles, noticing her shaky palms, and tucked them under her right arm.
They fixed plates in comfortable silence, then she thanked her mom and made her way back upstairs. Carefully balancing two plates, she balanced one on her arm while she opened the door, closing it softly.
She was greeted by Max, sprawled out, drooling.
She laughed at the sight, frozen still by the door. She sat the plates down on her table, and padded back over to her bed."Dude, it's a crime to wake someone this cute. How do you look so cute, sleeping?"
"I'm not-" She mumbled, yawning and stretching"-cute. Or sleeping- just.... resting...."
"Oh sure, totally convinced."
"Hrrrm."
"May I rouse you from your slumber for some pancakes?"
Max vaulted up, woozy, swaying but managed to nod yes as she squeezed her eyes shit against the light seeping in from the window."Take it easy girl, don't pass out please." She said softly, getting the food. She sat one plate on the brunettes lap and took her own after she was situated.
She didn't miss the way Max's hands missed the fork on her first attempt to pick it up. Chloe caught her eye and she blushed, rubbing her cheekbone."My depth perception seems a little off.." She explained, grasping the fork and making a sizable dent in her stack of food.
"That's okay-you're doing good." She encouraged. Max sighed, poking Chloe's leg with her toe.
"What are you doing today?"
"Just me?" She questioned.
"I'm a little out of commission but that doesn't mean you have to stay cooped up."
"I love being with you." She assured, bumping her with her leg.
"I love being with you too, but you also need to go see Rachel.... and bring her here." Max voice held a strange peace, a disguised excitement and longing."I think it's about time I met her but you guys have some catching up to do no doubt."
"You know, mom actually told me Rachel was the one who called her when you passed out at school."Chloe felt compelled to tell Max about what Joyce had said.
Max's eye got big, glancing up from her food as she swallowed."That... her dorm I think was- is? Brookes, oh god. Um but that means she would've saw me. So she... knew who I was?"
"Actually yeah.. she said we were all a happy trio. I have no memory of that situation but it sounds nice."
"So we defiantly can get some details from Rachel." Max concluded."I hope I didn't freak her out."
"Wait." Chloe said, realizing she'd left out a detail."-she called from my phone- so I had to be there too."
"Oh." Max said, body language taking a turn."-hrrrm."
Chloe could see the faint change, and she didn't want to read too much into it. Max could just be thinking a lot or something.
Or she's jealous.
"I might've like stayed over or something. Either way, I can totally get her over here. She wants to see you too."
"I'm kinda scared but really excited- I've always wanted too. Meet her." There was a brutal honesty in the room."-I just never thought I could."
"-and I was okay with that, you have to know that. I love you." Chloe assured again, seeing a flicker of relief in the brunettes eyes. Her body relaxed, eyes fluttering long lashes against a flushed cheek. Sometimes, more often than not, Chloe was frozen by the gentle beauty Max held, unknowingly. How her quite strength could be explosive at times, and how she always stepped up to protect those she loved. No matter what, no matter what it meant for her. The last part was a bit worrying, borderline destructive."-and thank you for everything you've done, and are yet to do."
Max peered at her, gaze tired but calm."You're such a goop."
"That's the affect you have on me. Tell anyone and you're toast." The patted her head."So hippie, bath time?"
"God yes. Please. I feel gross."
"Well you don't look it, but come on." Max threw back the blanket, revealing her frail body and Chloe felt a pit open up in her stomach. Before she could help her up, Max stood, stretching and groaning softly. Chloe took in the arch of her back, and her lanky arms reaching towards the ceiling. She felt herself flush, so very warm.
It's like I'm crushing on her all over again.
"Jesus I slept like the dead."
"You really did-" Chloe agreed, remembering checking on the still body beside her multiple times."It's what you needed tho." The padded over to the bathroom, and Chloe flicked on the light. A quiet unease crept up her spine as she looked around, thinking of what had happened in the very room only a handful of hours ago.
"She's not here anymore, Chloe it's ok." Max softly said, looking at herself in the mirror.
"Thank god." She swallowed thickly. She shook her head of her thoughts as Max started to undress, and she let her because she seemed to be doing fine, and turned the faucet on in her ancient tub. She laid out her pirate towel on the counter and turned back to the brunette, who was now shirtless.
"God I thought I was a twig before. This is embarrassing."
Oh no. We could not have that. She could see actually how embarrassed Max was, but she shouldn't be. Chloe was worried sure, but Max was just... perfect.
Chloe shook her head, coming up behind the brunette and wrapped her in a gentle hug, boxing her in with long arms."Don't be embarrassed. Please. Like please."
"It's honestly kinda hard not to... I'm so weak."
A sudden urge, possessed Chloe.
So with steady movement's, and a few repositions of limbs, she started kissing down the vertebrae of the brunettes back, who in turn shivered and looked at her in the mirror, eyes catching hers every so often.
"You're not weak."
"I'm weak for you."
"And you're so strong for everyone."
She hooked nimble fingers into the waistline of her pants and slowly tugged them down, kissing the small of her back before standing again and pulling her into another hug.
"I think you're perfect any way you are."
She begged, not really knowing what to say. Max sighed, shivering briefly as her entire body was bare and on display.
"You would say that."She said, a cynical, small laugh escaping her lips. Chloe felt her heart thud, but disengaged and went to turn the tap off, pulling Max over with her. She clung to Chloe, using her shoulder to hold onto as she got in the tub.
Chloe tried not to look at the scars lining her body, or how her hip bones jutted out from under her skin.
But she still felt sick about it. Worried to death.
Rachel, we have a mission.
Save Max. Comfort Max, and get her to open up. Let her heal.
She settled, sighing as she relaxed in the hot water.
"Feel good?"
"Better than sex." She joked, peering at Chloe with mismatched eyes. Striking, and she wouldn't tell her yet, but it suited her. Like the power she always kept dormant and invisible had made itself known."Like I would know."
"One day." Chloe joked back, wiggling eyebrows."Shall I scrub thy head?"
"Please, kind sir." She invited, hand making waves in the water. Chloe grabbed the shampoo and got to work, Max had leaned her head back and closed her eyes, body so relaxed she was worried she might fall back asleep.
I should've done this sooner. I should do this for weeks. She deserves to rest, even from the simplest stuff.
"Here comes the rinse."
"Aye aye."
A few minutes passed, and Max was standing, waiting to be wrapped in the sacred childhood towel. Chloe grabbed it, and draped it over like a cape before securing it so tight she could almost see the frame beneath.
No colds for her. Only warmth and pancakes.
"Thank you Chloe." She said, as the person in question brushed many knots out of her head. Chloe startled, accustomed to the silence of the room.
"Anytime cutie."
There was a huge nostalgic feeling over both of them, and the chose to revel in it for a while. They dressed, sat on the bed, played uno, watched a movie. It passed the time pleasantly to the point she didn't even realize what time it was and she didn't care. Max was laughing at her jokes-and it had been a minute since it was genuine.
Her phone buzzed many a time though, and she eventually had to check it, because Max bugged her to. She had thought that it would be David, or her mom so no it didn't matter that much but. Max told her to so she checked.
New Message:10:34
Rachel A.
:Chlooooeeee is she okay?
:Girl. Don't make me come up there:/
:Guess you both died....
;How will I pay for two funerals?!?
:But no for real I want to see you guys. I have snacks(-.-)
"It's Rachel." Chloe laughed."She says she has snacks and that she wishes to be here."
Max giggled."Well, if she has snacks..."
"I hear you. Can I-go get her?"
"Well yeah unless you wanna make her walk. Very rude." Max poked her, and Chloe raised her eyebrows in mock offense."Are you calling me rude?"
"Oh never." She batted her eyelashes, making her heart thump uncomfortably."Just....Eh, go get her dork. I'll take a nap or something. Gear up for all of this. Or go chill with Joyce."
"I think mom would be happy to have you as company. She's s always loved you." Chloe rose from the bed, deciding to change her shirt. She took off the simple T she had been wearing and threw it down somewhere unknown. She should really clean sometime soon.
She almost jumped when arms circled her bare midsection, and she peered over shoulder at a smirk that had her heart racing. It was so much easier to feel it all without the huge loom of desperation and depression- it was like everything was happening for the first time again.
"Well hello there, Max."
"Hey yourself stupid." She scoffed at the jab, trying to turn but she was held still with a squeeze."Stay-just stay still."
"Okay? Max-oh-"
Small kisses, turned into harder presses along her shoulder blades, trailing down her spine to the small of her back and dear god why did she do that earlier? She must've almost gave her a panic attack-
"I love you."
"I love-you too-" She breathed out, and Max chuckled, kissing her hips and rubbing small circles above the waistband of her jeans. To her surprise, more like utter shock, Max latched her teeth onto an exposed hip and sucked.
"You're- dear god." She said, amused.
Max just hummed against her skin and laced at the skin with her tounge until she felt satisfied enough. A dull ache throbbed under her skin, everywhere, but mostly the still hot spot on her skin. Max kissed back up her spine and then hugged her for a minute before going back to take a seat on the bed.
Chloe had to catch her breath. She would fall over if she didn't.
"What was that about?"
"Just a taste of your own medicine. And you know. A nice reminder."
"Of what?"
"That I love you. Or that you're mine."
Mine.
She took her in, seeing the impish look on her face and the sly grin, the scrunched skin beside her eyes, red and teal piercing her, looking her up and down.
"I'll have to return the favor then. Sometime."
"When you don't have to be taxi driver."
"And you're sure you'll be okay while i'm gone?"
"I'm scrawny not helpless. Go have fun, smoke, blast some shit and be careful," Max waved her off, and she couldn't help the feeling of happiness creeping into her. 'Text me when you land."
It feels so normal.
"Aye aye, captain."
So with a simple head pat and a longing look she left, keys jangling in her hand.
========================
So Max was left alone with her thoughts and way too much time to waste.
First off, Rachel Amber apparently already knew her, and the three were already a trio as of late. But for how long? How did she and Chloe reconnect in this timeline? The only thing she could think of was that Chloe was still involved with Nathan, but the whole reason she had bribed him in the first place was to get money and find Rachel so they could leave Arcadia.
I wonder if that plan is still a go, or if its all changed since Rachel is still at Blackwell. Shit. I am still at Blackwell, back in the week that never existed.
But we remember, Rachel doesn't.
"Okay Max, you absolutely have to play it cool. If she mentions something you don't know about tell her you amnesia or something." She grabbed her phone and checked the time. It was eleven, so they should be back around like two or so. She wanted to overestimate a little incase they started catching up or something.
Something hot, something jealous bloomed. Seethed a little under her skin. She didn't want to feel like this. But she did.
I am such a loser, but..
The bed was empty beside her, lacking Chloe's warmth, her smell, her voice, touch, everything. She couldn't loose that in any way, at this point. Not to the storm or another person.
But Chloe and Rachel had been a thing before she even thought about coming back to Blackwell, and even on the first day she talked to Chloe again in this same room, she knew her bestfriend had been in love, and now sat heartbroken. She couldn't pick the pieces up then, and she still couldn't now, but ever since they had escaped to Seattle, Rachel had been an off limit topic for both of them.
For one, Max had never met her but still been pushed and influenced to save a girl she had never met, only to find out she was dead. It was crushing, traumatizing for the both of them but she remembered Chloe. Destroyed, empty. She was still grieving as the world ended. Her world ended when Rachel died.
Now she was alive and well, but there was one thing she had to know.
Was Rachel being honest with Chloe this time? No cheating? No dating? Chloe still kissed her, willingly, all the time. She'd seen her naked, god she gave her a hickey ten minutes ago. How did Rachel fit into that? At all?
"I mean, all of you could work, three pieces of a puzzle."
"That would be a crazy puzzle, Maxine. One I would never solve."
"Aw you used my name! Look at you, I'm flattered. But no for real. I already told you-"
"You've already told me a lot of things-" She mocked, turning to the phantom sitting on Chloe's desk."-doesn't mean I have to believe you. How could someone like Rachel, like ever be interested in me?"
"Babe. She's blowing up Chloe's phone about you. She's been watching you since this shit started. What do you think that doe really was? It was her, watching, as always."
She stood, walking over to Maxine and taking a seat in the chair in front of her."I had a hunch but. I didn't focus on it. So she haunted me? Is?"
"Yup. When I went back, for your good mind you, to save her she was so worried about both of you. In that place, alone, a spirit. She saw everything and she knows everything."
"Does she still?"
"Deep down, yeah. She knows. It's all a part of her too. She's more than just Rachel Amber."
More than Rachel Amber, who was already everything possible.
"Dying is like- it's whatever you want it to be. There's so much freedom in death. She just wanted to see both of you, help you. But she couldn't from that place."
Maxine almost looked..sad. Pained by her memories. It stuck her beside herself, in silence.
"But anyway Chloe wasn't wrong about her being the storm. Poor girl was in so much pain, so much love that she almost destroyed a town with the force of it. She's something huge in life but in death, dear god. She's a demon. An angel, doom. It's amazing."
"Sounds like you're in love with her." She pushed. To her surprise, Maxine nodded and sighed.
"You'll know soon enough."
"Are you leaving now with that last cryptic message? Seems to be your thing."
She cackled, and Max cracked a smile.
"Yeah, duty calls. Take a nap idiot."
She sat alone, hand splayed on the table, shocked by the warmth that remained on the surface.
——————————————-
Driving. She was driving. To pick up Rachel.
There was a sliver of guilt for leaving Max for even a minute, but it would be a hot minute. Possibly an hour and a half because Rachel lived in a completely different section of Arcadia, and as small as the town was it would still take a while. So, was she speeding? Yes. She was but who fucking cared? She didn't. Cops weren't scary, anymore.
So, she floored it, cigarette clutched between two anxious fingers and each drag scratched her nerves like a cat scratched and marked a doorway. The music, as Max had told her to do, blasted. It was blasting, men screaming and guitars wailing in her head and helping her feel higher than all hell. Screw weed, she was high on her life. Her new chance. Their new chance. All of them.
The cigarette burned down to the filter, thrown carelessly out the window.
Thirty minutes passed, and she pulled up on the curb, tire bumping on the elevated concrete. She slammed it into park, jerked out the keys and slammed the door behind her, running to the door.
Before she could even knock, the door flew open and there was someone on her, arms around her hips and a laugh in her ear that made her knees threaten her. You'll collapse. You'll drop her, stand up.
"Chloe!"
"Rachel."
She sobbed. She couldn't help it, no tears yet but she was already so not playing it cool. Rachel continued to laugh, blinding the world with light. Because that's how it was, and now, always would be.
"I missed you."
"I missed you more." There's the tears, the shudder in her breath and ribs.
"Hey, hey, baby what's wrong? Are you ok? Is Max ok?"
"Yeah-" She sniffled, and Rachel squeezed tighter."-she's fine, I'm fine. Come on-" She dropped her gently, feeling small hands take hers and then she was there. Face to face, body whole and breathing in front of her.
"Look, snacks-as promised." She held up a bag that threatened to spill.
And she just, wanted to loose it but she felt so whole at the same time. Chloe's silence, her words were choking her so. Rachel just have a understanding nod.
"Into the truck!" She exclaimed, taking her by the hand and running across the grass to the beast of a car.
Chloe could only follow.
———————————————-
"So Heads up, Max is uh... not looking like usual."
"What do you mean?" Rachel inquired, voice like a gentle wave. It made her skin tingle, in a good way.
"She looks bad Rachel." Chloe admitted."And she's still super weak." She ran a hand though her messy bangs. At this point they were cruising past Blackwell, almost back out to the main road."Her eye is super fucked up from the seizure, and I'm gonna be honest. It's scary. Don't be scared."
"Me, scared? Yeah right." She scoffed, but there was a hint of sadness in her voice this time."God. Why her? She had enough to deal with at Blackwell."
"That's what I'm saying. She's excited to see you though."
"Who wouldn't be? I'm a classic."
"That you are." Chloe took another cig from the pack, steering at the same time like she had done a thousand times before, and leaned towards the blonde. A lighter flicked between black tipped nails, Rachel cupping the flame so she could take a pull. Smoke crept into her lungs and a feeling of relief.
"So it's been rough huh? I wanted to go see her in the hospital but like... she got discharged so quick. Like before I could make it up there."
"I know! Doctors were barley interested in giving her pain meds. Assholes."
"Did they find anything?"
"Not at all. Said it was from stress, which is bullshit." And it was, but she couldn't reveals the whole truth now could she? "She can hardly keep food down."
Rachel sighed, heavy."Ya know, as sudden as it all was and ya know, with me trying to get her to stop seizing, and I know it was a seizure but somehow she was still talking to me." Rachel rarely had trouble with words, but one glance at her and Chloe's attention was centered on that look. Haunted."She kept saying I saved you. And I still don't know what she meant Chloe. People can't talk while having a seizure."
Her heart was in her throat this time. Fear creeping up her spine again. Worry.
That's terrifying.
"And then she was bleeding everywhere, I threw the clothes away because they were so soaked. They didn't find anything at all?"
Chloe was so close to spilling but all she could muster was a quiet whimper. She took a drag and tears were already bubbling from the trauma of it all. Just a deep ugly feeling that was threatening to shake her and make her lose it. Rachel was her best friend, she could tell her anything but this. And it was killing her, how haunted they all were. Part of some crazy stupid destiny that Max had to lead, to fix, and it was killing her. There was nothing she could do.
"Chloe, baby." She was crying, hard this time, to the point she pulled over. The world was too blurry. She laid her head on the steering wheel while the blonde rubbed her back through each earth breaking tremor. She couldn't do anything. Nothing. Max would do anything for her, and she had the power to do so. She didn't care about herself. 'Chloe please, talk to me." She begged, but words wouldn't come.
She wished she could give her the truth, but then she would be as fucked up as them. She was too good for that.
Max is too good, and look what it did to her, what she is now. Her innocence was taken, even harsher than mine.
"She- she didn't deserve this Rachel. I'm scared, I'm scared I'll loose her." She let out, stomping her cigarette and wiping her face, aggression fighting of the sadness. A façade. Her eyes burned, her brain finally letting everything out that she had been keeping in for Max's sake. The demons, the fight, Seattle, the storm, all of it. Being in purgatory, the love they all shared. The connection. It was terrifying, Max has powers, Chloe keeps dying, the timelines keep merging, endless possibilities and death. Max running out of time, of life, splitting into two people. Max, being angry and out of character. Unknown."Something is wrong and I just got her back here- with me- and she's dying-"
"We don't know that, Chloe- Come here-" So she did, sliding across the bench seat into open arms that had held her through multiple breakdowns over the years. A handful had been about Max, her dad, herself, and she was doing it again. She was able to do it again. Rachel was here, alive, and Max did that but not the real Max. The razor mouthed demon in the corner, in the bathroom, in Max's head." She's just sick okay? And we can help her get better, together. All of us, I can help her through school, sleepovers! All the stuff she needs, everything and anything. We can do it. She will be okay."
She closed her eyes, letting out a shaky breath, feeling exhausted. Feeling bruised, empty, young. Gentle hands stroked through her hair, firmer than Max, but the gesture was still crazy to her. That they both knew how she ticked but she barley knew how to comfort either of them. They were similar in more ways than she had ever realized, both unknown and so damn troubled. They would rather die than anyone else be hurt, before she was hurt. Why? "Better?"
"Yes, thank you." She lied. She was so fucking useless, always had been. always would be.
"Always. Why don't I drive?" She suggested, and Chloe agreed. Her stomach was turning and the smoke flavor in her mouth was sour. No longer comforting, just a reminder that she always ran from her problems. Or let someone else fix them because she still hadn't learned how.
What happened to being better for Max? You convinced yourself back at the hotel. You were so sure you could do it. What happened to that?
Bullshit. All you have is bullshit and tears. Pathetic.
Can't even be there for the girl that loves you. That has moved the world for you.
Destroyed it and fixed it again for you.
"Stop thinking for a bit." The blonde kissed her brow. Her stomach leaped at that, and her face flushed, She sniffed, hard, clearing clogged airways " Just relax until we get there okay?'
"Ok." She scooted, Rachel climbed over her and took the drivers seat, leaving her to look out the window and cry. Cry hard, silently, trying to hide the tremors. The heaves, the shaking,
Rachel just held her hand through it all.