ーdeluded
i love you
i feel so
but then again
how would i know anything
about love in the first place?
i used to think
i loved jungkook too
but i am sure i didn't
otherwise i wouldn't have hurt him
with my cruel words
i say i love heather
but then again
there was a time
when i'd wished he were dead
i don't want to spoil this word anymore
by spitting it out of my
foul mouth
i feel like i am deluded
or maybe paranoid
we've been together
for so little
that i cannot decide now
i want to wait again
until you say that you love me
one day
no matter how long it takes
i am still being selfish i get it
but i do not have any escape
i hate to admit it
but i somehow cannot trust
my own feelings
my past has scarred me so deep
i feel a little weak
but i am still happy
the fact that you're with me
the fact that you consider me yours
and yourself mine
is more than enough for me
but i still don't feel that worthy
but that's not a big deal
i just want you to be patient with me
i am constantly learning
i am constantly practicing
i am trying to become better
so that at least when i look
into the mirror
i can be proud of myself
i want you to get
the best version of me
i want to be worthy
of your love.
ー