A/N set in they mystic falls high school au
Warning: attempted suicide
"I can't let you go through with this." Lizzie frowns as she follows her sister into the school.
"You need to stop. Dana and Connor denied it and I believe them." Josie says which makes Lizzie scoff.
"Why would you believe them over me?" She asks, hurt as she tries to keep up with her sister.
"Because you always do this. Anytime things are going well for me, you have an episode, and you ruin everything just to steal the spotlight." Josie snaps. Lizzie covers up her hurt. "I mean honestly, Lizzie, if I believed every paranoid delusion that came out of your mouth, I'd be just as crazy as you."
"Jo..." Lizzie trails off softly, hurt lacing when voice and face as she steps in front of Josie.
"Look, I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I have spent my entire life trying to make you feel okay about yourself, watched Dad kill himself trying to do it too. And why do you think he drinks all the time? He hates his job. The only reason why he works here is to keep an eye on you. Mom makes any excuse to that she can to be out of town, because seeing him like this makes her sad, because he's completely given up. So I am done making excuses for you. I am a done worrying about when you are going snap. And I am done letting you control my happiness! I love Connor, and tonight I'm going to show him just how much. Now, give me the watch!" Josie's words cut straight through Lizzie's broken heart and the blonde feels herself giving up.
"I'm sorry. It's for your own good." Lizzie whispers as she siphons all the magie away from the watch.
"I hate you." Josie says coldly, looking at her sister with such hatred before walking away.
"Josie... no. Wait. Pleas just... wait. Stop!" Lizzie screams, the lights exploding around her and all the students in the hallway cower down.
When they stand up, they start to record and take photos of Lizzie who is crying. Josie stares at her sister in shock, her sister proving her words from earlier.
"What the hell?!" Alaric exclaims as he rushes into the hallway. "We've got to go." He mumbles and pulls Josie with him.
Lizzie sobs and rushes out of the school, sprinting past the fancy car that pulls up and away from her family.
"Lizzie!" Alaric shouts but Lizzie just keeps running.
"Let her go." Josie snarls, glaring at her sisters retreating form. "We're better off without her."
•
•
•
•
Lizzie sobs, screaming through her pain as she collapses onto her bedroom floor. Josie hates her. She makes her dad sad. Her mom doesn't want to be around her. Everyone hates her at school. What the hell has she got to stick around for? She got a text from her Dad saying they are at the Mikaelson boarding school and they don't
know when they'll be back. No, how are you? Or, are you okay? She really is just a tease of space in everyone's lives.
She's been feeling like this all her life, like she's the odd one out. The black sheep of her family. The twin that wasn't supposed to be born. She's suffered with meant last issues most of her life, depression, anxiety, trust issues, self hate. Sometimes it gets the best of her and she has to do something to relieve herself of the pain, so
she cuts. Only in places where people can't see, like her thighs and stomach. She thinks about taking her own life a lot, but she never did because she didn't want to hurt Josie, but it's quite clear that her sister doesn't want her around.
If you have nothing, what's the point in staying around?
Lizzie pushes herself up about an hour later after fighting with herself, but she didn't win. She grabs a piece of and writes a simple,
Sorry
And puts it on Josie's bed.
She grabs a bottle of painkillers and a bottle of her father's bourbon before settling back in the bathroom. She breaks a razor and grabs the blades, putting them on the floor before unscrewing the cap of the pills.
She tosses three into her mouth and swallows them with a large gulp of the alcohol.
She does it again.
And again
And again
And again.
Before she knows it the pills are all gone and the bourbon bottle is three quarters empty. She weakly tosses it aside before grabbing the blade and stripping down to her underwear. Lizzie cuts all over her skin, loving the way it stings as her blood falls onto the bathroom floor.
Now she waits. She waits to bleed out. She what's for the pills and alcohol to do their job. She waits patiently for the end to come.
•
•
•
•
"Night, Dad." Josie yawns and trudges up the stairs. Only ten minutes after Lizzie's attempt to kill herself.
Josie pushes her bedroom door open and flicks the light on, frowning at the sight of a note on her bed. She grabs it and instantly recognises the handwriting, tear drops smudging a couple letter and Josie immediately rushes out of the room.
"Lizzie?" She calls and rushes into her sisters room to see it empty. "Lizzie?!" She checks every room until she gets to the bathroom, she tries to open it but it's locked. "Lizzie? Are you in there?"
Nothing.
Lizzie's eyes finally slip shut.
Josie hears a thud and her heart drops, she immediately starts to throw herself at the door, trying to break it down.
"DAD!" Josie screams, crying in fear,
Alaric frowns and runs up the stairs at the sound of his daughters panicked scream.
"LIZZIE!" Josie screams and throws her body at the door again.
"Move!" Alaric exclaims and pushes his daughter out of the way.
With one kick, Alaric kicks the door in and they both rush in. They freeze at the sight of Lizzie's limp body laying in a pool of blood on the floor. An empty bottle of pills and an almost empty bottle of bourbon.
"Call an ambulance!" Josie shrieks and falls down next to her sister, pressing two fingers against her neck and barely feeling a pulse, "She's alive but barely! Hurry, Dad!" Josie sobs and grabs an handful of hand towels from the cupboard under the sink.
Josie cries as she tightly wraps the towels around the major the bleeding cuts, her heart shattering into pieces.
"I'm so sorry, Lizzie, I didn't mean it! Don't you dare die on me! Do you hear me?!" Josie begs through her tears, leaning her head against Lizzie's chest and crying into her.
"The ambulance is on it's way, they'll be a couple of minutes." Alaric says as a few tears fall down his cheeks.
"We don't have a couple of minutes!" Josie wails, trying to siphon from Lizzie but all the magic is gone. "No. Come on, Lizzie! Don't you dare fucking die on us!"
Josie holds her sister close to her whilst they impatiently wait for the ambulance, her two fingers remaining on Lizzie's neck and feeling her pulse. She repeatedly apologies to her unconscious sister, begging her to stay with
her whilst their Dad waits for the ambulance by the door.
"They're here, Josie." Alaric tells her daughter as two emts run into the room, both young but look full of experience.
Josie lets her dad pull her away from Lizzie as the raven haired girl and the dirty blonde girl work on her sister, doing things Josie didn't even know they could do without an OR. She watches as they wrap her baby sister up in tight bandages, disinfecting them in a speed so quick Josie can barely see them move. They attach an iv fluid to her sister and they intubate her, trying to help her breathe. They skilfully cannulate her and pump her full of some medicine that Josie couldn't even begin to pronounce.
"We have to get her to the hospital now, Jade." The Raven haired girl says sternly.
"We can't get a gurney up here, Penelope. You hold her fluid bag, I'll lift her." Jade says, moving the cables out of the way before picking her up.
Penelope grabs the fluid bag and tells Alaric to grab their emt bags before rushing down the stairs to the ambulance. Josie immediately follows them, begging her sister to wake up and not leave her.
They strap Lizzie into the gurney and make sure she's stable before Jade jumps into the drivers seat. Alaric hands Penelope their bags and before he can say anything, Josie is climbing into the back of the ambulance, mumbling something about meeting her dad at the hospital before the doors slam shut and the sound of the sirens fills their ears and the ambulance is off.
Josie takes her sisters hand in her own and brings it up to her mouth, kissing the hand and whispering against it. Tears still streaming down her face.
"What's her name?" Penelope asks the brunette, writing down in her chart.
"Lizzi- Elizabeth Jenna Saltzman." Josie tells her.
"Date of brith?" Penelope asks.
"March 15th, 2014." Josie mumbles.
"Does she have any allergies or has she had any surgeries in the past 6 months?"
"She's allergic to penicillin and latex. No surgeries." Josie whispers.
"Thank you." Penelope says and finishes writing in the chart. "My name is Penelope, my partner is Jade. What's your name?"
"Josie." She says distractedly.
"Is that short for something? Josephine?" Penelope guesses.
"Josette." Josie mumbles. "Come on, Lizzie wake up."
"When we get to the hospital, we'll page general and Cardio surgeons and get her into surgery as soon as we can. With the amount of pills she took along with the alcohol and blood loss, there's a good chance her body could go into septic shock so they doctors will have to pump her stomach. Depending on how the internal
damage is, your sister should be just fine. You got to her just in time." Penelope tells her.
"What's the worst case scenario?" Josie asks which makes Penelope hesitate. "Tell me, please."
"The body can't handle more than the required amount of tablets but the amount your sister took is fatal, mix that with her busy not having much blood to pump through, she could die." Josie's breath hitches. "But our surgeons are amazing and I have no doubts that your sister will be anything less than perfect."
"We had a fight. I told her I hate her and I think I meant it." Josie whispers guiltily. "We don't get on very well, we're too different. The last thing I said to her was I hate her, she's gonna die thinking I hate her."
"If you really hated her, you wouldn't be here right now, and she's not going to die. Don't blame yourself for this, people suffer with mental issues and they get the best of us. Lizzie's case is one we've handled besides multiple times, each one now living happy lives. Your sister will be one of them." Penelope tells her.
"Please don't let my sister die." Josie whispers.
"We'll do our best, Josie." Penelope reassures and stands up when she feels the familiar turning.
The ambulance stops and soon the back doors swing open, revealing two more doctors along with Jade. They pull the stretcher out of the vehicle and rush her inside, Josie follows praying for her sister to be okay.
She stands by nervously and watches them perform multiple scans and tests on her until her nose starts bleeding and she starts to crash.
"Call the OR! We're coming up immediately." One of the doctors orders as she pushes Lizzie out of the er.
"You can't go with them, Josie, you'll have to wait in the waiting room." Penelope tells her as she goes to follow them.
"I can't leave her. I've done that too many times before." Josie whispers, crying when she can no longer see Lizzie.
"I'll wait with you, ok? My shift is finished now anyways. I'll sit with you." Penelope says and grabs her hand.
"Ok." Josie sniffs and lets Penelope guide her to the waiting room.
"Hey, Jade, can you clock me out? And when Josie's Dad arrives, can you send him to the waiting room?" Penelope asks.
"Sure, Penny." Jade grins and kisses her cheek. "I wish the best for your sister, Josie." She says and squeezes Josie's hand before walking off.
"Are you two..." Josie trails off which makes Penelope chuckle.
"No. Jade and I were adopted into the same family when we were 5." Penelope tells her.
"Oh. Sorry for assuming." Josie mumbles which makes Penelope shake her head with a smile.
"Forget about it." She says kindly and walks down the stairs to the waiting room. "She's gonna be okay, you know? The surgeons here are amazing."
Josie bites her lip and sits on one of the chairs, leaning her elbows on her knees and resting her head on her hands. Penelope soothingly rubs her back.
"I'm a terrible sister." Josie whispers. "I basically told her I'm done with her then I told her I hate her."
"Don't beat yourself up about this, Josie. If Lizzie wanted to really do fatal damage, then that's not a decision you make over night. She must of been suffering for a while, don't blame yourself." Penelope soothes.
"Can... can you hold me? My Dad never does and my Mom is never around-"
"Come here." Penelope says softly and opens her arms for her, closing them when Josie cuddles into her. The younger girl throws her legs over Penelope's lap and wraps her arms around her waist, trying to get as close as possible to her. "I've got you."
"Lizzie and I used to cuddle all the time, even as kids. We used to sneak into each other's bed and cuddle until we fell asleep. We used to do that not that long ago, until I changed. I pushed her away. School become more important to me, I was so focused on staying popular that I replaced Lizzie with everyone. I believed my best friend over her, my so called best friend who's been sleeping with my boyfriend for god knows how long. She's been trying to tell me but I just call her crazy and walk away. I didn't see how bad I was hurting her until now. I could lose her and the last moment we had together was me telling her all the things I hate about her. She's never going to forgive me." Josie says, tears leaking onto Penelope's jacket.
"You should get some rest, the surgery could take hours." Penelope sighs.
"She's never going to forgive me." Josie whispers.
---------
"Josie, wake up." Penelope says and gently shakes the girl awake.
Josie stirs and opens her eyes, shooting up when she sees two doctors standing in surgery gowns.
"Lizzie! Is she okay?!" Josie asks, eyes wide in fear.
"She's alive." Josie cries in relief. "The damage was worse than we thought it would be though, the pills and alcohol burnt a hole in one of her kidneys so we had to take it out."
"There's something else, what is it?" Josie asks when's he sees their hesitant looks.
"She crashed again. She went into septic shock and had a seizure, we were able to revive her but we aren't sure when she'll wake up. It could be days or weeks, maybe even months." The doctor says.
"She's... she's in a coma?" Josie asks quietly.
"Yes. We'll monitor her and have a nurse with her at all times in case anything and happens. There's nothing more we can do now, it's up to Lizzie to wake up." He says before smiling sympathetically. "She's in room 104, Park."
Penelope nods and lets the surgeon walk away. She turns to Josie who is in shock, her face pale and her eyes teary.
"Josie?" Penelope calls gently. "Do you want to go see her?" Josie just nods wordlessly.
Penelope takes her hand and guides her over to the elevator. Josie remains silent the whole time, not breathing a word. She feels like she can't breathe. Her Lizzie. Her sister. Her twin. Her best friend. There's a possibility she might not wake up and the thought alone makes Josie want to vomit.
"Oh my god." Josie whispers in shock when she sees her sister laying in bed attached to all sorts of tubes, machines beeping and she looks so fragile. So innocent.
Josie walks over to her and gently takes her hand, sitting down and crying softly.
"Please don't leave me." Josie begs through her tears.
Penelope feels her heart break and she looks away so Josie can't see the tears threatening to spill from her eyes.
"I have to go. My next shift is starting soon." Penelope announces.
"Penelope." Josie calls when the raven haired girl goes to leave.
"Yeah?" She asks.
"Thank you for everything you've done." Josie whispers.
Penelope nods before rushing out of the room.
"I'm so sorry." Josie whispers and kisses her sisters hand, squeezing it. "I love you so much, I don't hate you."
•
•
•
•
"Morning, Tara." Josie greets Lizzie's nurse and walks into the room.
"Good morning, Josie." She greets as she wipes down Lizzie's face.
"Any progress?" Josie asks and sits down on the chair next to Lizzie's bed, taking her hand like she's done for the past 7 weeks.
"Her vitals have gone up which is a great sign. This means she might wake up soon." Tara tells her.
Josie smiles and looks down at her sister who seems to be fading away, her cheeks bones more prominent and she looks too skinny. She traces the cuts on Lizzie's arm and sighs.
"Keep fighting, Liz." Josie begs.
"You should sing to her more often, and watch the monitor whilst you do. It makes her heart speed up slightly." Tara says before leaving the room.
Josie smiles and she starts to sing one of Lizzie's favourite songs from her favourite movie, 'Annie'.
"The sun'll come out tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow
There'll be sun
Just thinkin' about tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow
'Til there's none
When I'm stuck with a day that's grey and lonely
I just stick up my chin and grin and say, oh
The sun'll come out tomorrow
So you gotta hang on 'til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow
You're always a day away
When I'm stuck with a day that's grey and lonely
I just stick up my chin and grin and say, oh
The sun'll come out tomorrow
So you got to hang on 'til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow
You're always a day away."
(Tomorrow- Annie)
Josie smiles again when she sees the monitor jump slightly, her heart flooding with warmth.
"I thought I heard an Angel singing." Penelope says as she enters the room.
"Hi." Josie says and kisses her girlfriend. "Long shift?"
"14 hours done and dusted. I'm about to head home but I thought I'd swing by and see Lizzie." Penelope tells her. "Her vitals have gone up, that's great!"
Josie nods.
"Jojo, it's good news, you should be happy." Penelope frowns.
"I am! I'm so excited and so happy that she's making progress, I'm just worried how she's going to feel when she wakes up." Josie sighs.
"Oh my god." Penelope whispers.
"What?" Josie asks and follows Penelope's eyes to Lizzie either hand to see it twitching. "Oh my god! Lizzie! Lizzie, can you hear me? Wake up for me."
The blondes face scrunches up and a croaked groans falls from Lizzie's mouth before she starts to panic when she feels a tube in her throat. Penelope hits the call button and grabs Lizzie shoulders, trying to soothe the girl as she struggles to breathe.
"Calm down, Lizzie, you're okay. You're in the hospital." Penelope tells her, staring into the large blue eyes.
Tara walks in and rushes to Lizzie's side. "Keep her still so she I can take the tube out." She instructs.
Penelope carefully pins Lizzie's shoulders down as Tara removes the tube, Lizzie gasping when it's out.
"Lizzie!" Josie cries and throws her arms around her sister who just remains limp. "Lizzie?" She asks confusedly and pulls away.
Lizzie tries to clear her sore throat which makes Penelope pour some water into a cup and hold the straw to Lizzie's mouth, letting her take a few sips of the refreshing liquid.
Lizzie weakly takes Josie's hand and frowns sadly at her.
"I'm sorry I'm so awful." Lizzie whispers. "I was doing it so you could be free of me. Like you want." Guilt courses through Josie's heart.
"I don't want that, Lizzie. I didn't mean what I said, I was just angry. I love you with all of my heart. I've been so scared the past 7 weeks, I thought you wouldn't wake up. I was a wreck. I can't lose you, Lizzie, please don't ever do this again." Josie tells her.
"I love you too." Lizzie says tiredly. "Can you forgive me?"
"Can you forgive me?" Josie asks which makes Lizzie nod. "Then you're forgiven as well. I want things to go back to how they used to be, before we drifted apart. I want to cuddle at night and go out to Target in the middle of the night. I want to annoy Dad together. I want to tell you about my day and not have an argument about it. I want you back, Lizzie."
"I want that too." Lizzie whispers. "I feel like crap."
Josie smiles and strokes her cheek. "As soon as you're strong enough, we'll have you looking like Lizzie in no time."
"You must be Penelope, the stubborn girlfriend who overworks herself." Lizzie says and looks over at her. "I'm Lizzie, the crazy messed up twin."
Penelope chuckles and shakes her hand. "It's good to finally meet you, Lizzie."
Lizzie's smiles and shuts her eyes, feeling exhausted. "Why am I so tired?"
"You're body just woke up from a 7 week nap where it had machines working for it, now you're breathing on your own again your body is going to experience extreme tiredness for a few days which you'll be sleeping a lot." Penelope explains.
"Is Josie allowed to lay with me?" Lizzie asks.
Penelope nods with a smile and Josie instantly climbs into the bed, wrapping her arms around her sister. Josie kisses Lizzie's head, smiling happily.
"I love you." Josie whispers.
"I love you too."