Tw: suicide
Shayla's Pov
After a while of working in the 118, I felt a bit safer around Buck, but I still couldn't figure out why he avoided me unless we were on the Job.
Captain Bobby said I was doing really good when things got difficult between crazy things and small fires. But when there was ever a child or someone whose innocence or trauma needed to be protected, the whole team knew I was just who they needed.
Flashback
"Okay honey your doing great, just keep looking at the ducks a little longer." I said to the little girl I was holding.
She had just been in the car with her dad in a carcrash nearby a park. Thankfully the girl was okay, but as everyone was taking care of the dad, I came in clutch to successfully get the daughter away and keep her focused on happy things.
"Ducks are so silly " she giggled, "I know baby"
I turned my head back to see everyone signaling me to bring the girl back, thankfully her dad was okay and was in the ambulance.
"Okay sweetie ready to go back?" She nodded.
End of flashback
Damn I was lucky that day.. I can't imagine the day I can't save someone or their feelings.
As I got to work I saw Hen and Buck playing their little ambulance game thing, Buck looked pretty happy so I thought of it as an opportunity to try talking to him.
Buck's Pov
"Hey guys!" I jumped, I knew exactly whose voice it was
"Hey Shayla" Hen greeted her, "Hi" I said taking a quick glance at her and then back down. "Whatchu guys doing?" She asked
"Nothing" I tried to say, but Hen had to open her mouth "Watchdogs" she said over me, this left Shayla looking confused with an awkward smile, she's so pretty..
No you can't think of her like that Buck!!
"Buck, why don't you show her how to play?" Hen says getting up and handing Shayla the controller. I gulp, "why me?"
"I gotta go help Bobby with something.." Before I could ask her what she left. Shayla sat next to me, "So how do you play?"
"Uh.." I said before looking down. "You uh.." dammit what do I do?? Say something Buck!!
Shayla sighed, "Hey its okay," she said "we don't have to be friends if you don't want to." She handed me the controller and got up with a sad look on her face. I look at her, I feel nervous and I don't want her to go.
"Shayla wait," I got up to follow her "dont go!"
Then the alarm went off, we can only hope for the best after this..
Shayla's Pov
We got to the scene and it was a lady, possibly in her 30's sitting at the edge of a building, the person who called 911 told us her name was Rebecca, Rebecca Caulfield. (Idk if that was her name so I just made it up don't come at me)
As I climbed up the ladder to get to her, I thought thoroughly about my mission: talk to her calmly and get her to ground safely.
Here goes nothing
"Hey Rebecca, can you look at me?"
She turned around with a poker face. I carefully got closer to her, "I know life is hard trust me, but after every storm comes a sunshine, we just need to be there to see it."
Carefully getting closer. Come on Shay you got this.
"No one is gonna be angry at you, I'll help you.. just take my hand, please..and we'll go back down together..you..and me.."
She looked at me, still silent. "I can never go back.."
Last thing she said before falling back, my heart sank.
I failed her..
***
Buck's Pov
Shayla was quiet on the way back to the fire station, after a few attempts of Eddie, Chimney, Hen and Bobby trying to make her feel better, she just smiled and nodded at them.
I could tell her smile was forced, It broke my heart seeing this ray of sunshine turned to a grey sky..
I could tell she was crying inside, but was keeping herself together..
Shayla's Pov
Of course I faked my smile!! I wasn't about to let everyone see their teammate cry..
"Are you okay?"
"I'm sorry Shay, you did the best you could."
"It wasn't your fault"
"There's only so much we can do"
None of this took away the failure that I felt, but I knew I needed to be strong and keep going.
Buck's Pov
We noticed a car was following us to the station, so once we got there, a man probably in his 50's got out of his car. "HEY!" He yelled storming over to us
"Can I help you sir?" Bobby asked, "How can you live with yourselves?? You call yourselves heroes when you couldn't even save my daughter?? Heroes my ass." Anyone could tell this man was furious.
"Excuse me??" Shayla said coming forward, "Sir I'm gonna have to ask you to leave, Shayla go inside" Bobby ordered while trying to get the man to leave, "It was her wasn't it?" The man yelled "that's the stupid b*tch who failed to save my Rebecca!!"
The man then got escorted out by Bobby and Chimney, the worst part of it all is that he ended up saying this in front of Shayla, making her cry.
I looked at her and saw tears welling up in her eyes, she turned and ran inside the firehouse crying..
I felt my heart ache as I watched Hen and Eddie run after her. I didn't wanna go, but deep inside I knew I did, so I followed her too.
Shayla's Pov
With my arms across my chest trying to embrace myself for comfort, I couldn't stop the cries from escaping.
As I barley made it to the lockers, I heard Eddie, Buck, and Hen behind me calling my name. They caught up to me, Hen quickly turned me around and pulled me in for a hug, I clutched her shirt and let myself sob.
I didn't want to, but I couldn't hold in the tears and sobs. Eddie and Buck came in for a group hug too, they comforted me "It's okay Shayla the guys an idiot." I heard Eddie's voice say, "Please don't listen to him, he doesn't know anything about you" Hen told me.
I looked from the corner of my eye to see Buck, looking at me with sad eyes.
I pulled away, "thanks guys.. I'm so sorry this is really embarrassing."
"Nothing about this is embarrassing." I heard Bobby say walking in, "It wasn't your fault, some people are just stupid. Never let them get to you." Chimney said appearing from behind Bobby.
I smiled, I feel grateful for the amazing team I had. No, they're not just my team, they are my family, and I know that I will love them forever.
After my shift was over and it was time for me to go, I heard someone running towards me, "Shayla!" It was Buck.
That's odd, now he actually wants to talk to me?
"Yes Buck?"
He stopped and looked at me, "I'm sorry, for everything that happened and for being so rude to you this whole time."
"Buck-"
"No let me finish." I nodded, "I know I should've talked to you sooner, I just didn't know what to say.. I was nervous that I might say something wrong and.. mess up.."
I looked at him, "You could've just talked to me." I said softly, "I'm not one to judge, I get nervous too.. but it's okay no hard feelings, I just thought you hated me or something.."
Buck shook his head, "I'm sorry, and no I don't hate you Shayla, but I'm hoping we can start over.."
I smiled and nodded, "of course" I say, "can I have a hug before I have to go?"
He smiled and stepped forward with his arms out, I leaned in and wrapped my arms around his neck, he put his arms around my waist.
I felt safe in Buck's arms, I pulled away and looked into his beautiful blue eyes, "Bye Buck" I said with a smile.
He returned the smile, "Bye Shay"