I got home late that night and was floating on cloud 9. It was the perfect first date and I wished it was my first ever date. It may have been dinner at Luke's and a movie, but it was more than that. It was a home cooked meal at Luke's and an epic giant movie screen in his backyard. And my date was someone I couldn't currently think about without feeling a flutter in my stomach and causing me to involuntarily smile. I haven't dated a lot, but tonight wasn't my first ever date and this one was the only one that I'd want to count.
So I floated up to my room, wanting to just relive the whole night over again, but first things first. I took out the little stack of letters Luke wrote me. He didn't want me to read them in front of him and I don't blame him. I'd be super embarrassed too.
I sat on my bed and lightly grazed my fingertips over the envelopes. Luke was smart and numbered the envelopes so I wouldn't have to guess which one to read first.
Letter #1
Dear Maisey,
I told you that the letters Ryan Gosling wrote for Rachel McAdams every day in The Notebook was the most romantic thing I'd seen in a movie so I thought it would be a genius way to express my feelings for you and offer my apologies for everything that has happened.
I don't really know how to write one of these letters. I guess it's a love letter? Hopefully I don't come off sounding like a complete idiot.
I would've preferred to talk to you in person. If I didn't chicken out, that is. But, I heard you went to France with Jack. France is a beautiful country and I'm excited for you to get to explore and eat all the amazing food there, but selfishly I wish you were still here. My birthday party was tonight and some drama went down. But I don't even care about that. All I cared about was that you weren't there to celebrate with me. Kind of selfish, I know. But, it's my birthday so cut me some slack?
I did get the gifts from you though and seeing them may have been the best part of my night and that's saying something because you and my mom planned an epic party.
Until tomorrow,
Luke.
Letter #2
Dear Maisey,
This is probably a sore subject, but remember the night of the beach party with the bonfire? I remember being surprised that you actually came since Paris is the one who invited you, but I was so happy to see you. I remember thinking you looked so pretty with your green jacket and the breeze blowing through your hair by the ocean.
You probably don't remember this, but I was going to come and talk to you when I saw you sitting by the fire. Then, Brennan came to sit with you and yeah....
I think when I saw you that night I knew there was something going on between us. At least on my end. You might've thought I was just your old friend with the girlfriend you couldn't stand. I thought you might've felt a pull to me too, but then I saw you laughing with Brennan and you looked excited and happy. I wanted that for you even if I wasn't the one that was making you look excited and happy. So I left you guys to it.
Anyway, the point of this is that I don't want you to only look back on that night as the start of something bad, because it was the start of me seeing you as more than a friend.
Luke
Letter #3
Dear Maisey,
You've been in France for 3 days now. It feels weird to not talk to you for so long. I think you're going to up the Eiffel Tower today. At least that's what Jack said on his Instagram stories this morning. I hope you get a clear view so you can take in the whole city laid out before you. I saw it a few years ago on a family vacation and I remember thinking it was so cool up there. Thinking back on it now, now that I'm older, there's something really reflective about looking down at all the buildings and cars and trees and people and see only miniature things and specks. It makes you realize you're just a tiny part of this big wheel of life. At the same time you're standing on an iron structure that was dreamed up, created by, and built by humans. It's inspiring and I hope you are able to have the time to take it all in. Let the sheer beauty of it all inspire you to do great things. I hope one day we can visit it together.
Love,
Luke
Letter #4
Dear Maisey,
I may have not thought this whole thing through. This is only letter #4 and you'll be gone for 4 more days. You're probably getting tired of me and these letters by now, but I'm going to keep on going.
Do you remember our first kiss? I know you don't count it as your first kiss, but I count it as mine. Playing Spin the Bottle at Rob's birthday party. We all thought we were so cool playing games like that in his basement. Everyone took the game as a really big joke, myself included. Until the bottle spun on you, of course. I was so nervous! You were my best friend and now I was supposed to kiss you in front of everyone. Want to know a secret? I was actually hoping it would land on you. The whole game was nerve wracking. When the bottle landed on you, I was so relieved. I had no idea what I was doing and I knew if I had to kiss one of the other girls I'd make a total fool of myself. At least you wouldn't make fun of me or anything - at least not in front of everyone haha.
And then we kissed. I remember it being quick and I had my eyes closed so tight that I wasn't even sure my lips would land on yours. Thankfully, it all worked out and neither of us looked ridiculous.
That was 7 years ago now. 11 year old me prayed to God that the bottle would land on you, my best friend, so I wouldn't be so scared and look dumb in front of my friends. 18 year old me wishes I had appreciated that kiss more because now you're the only girl I want to ever kiss.
Love,
Luke
Letter #5
Dear Maisey,
Did you know the Louvre was built in 1793? I can't even imagine a museum existing less than 20 years after the United States became the United States. When I went to the museum I was like...12 or something so I didn't really appreciate the art and history of the place. I probably just wanted to get out of there and get ice cream or something. But, I've been doing some research online of the museum and it looks pretty awesome. I wish I could explore it with you.
Everyone talks about the Mona Lisa being there and that's cool and all, but I hope you get to check out the Venus de Milo. It's a big statue of Aphrodite or Venus - the goddess of love and beauty. The statue is missing both arms, but it's still so famous and beautiful. People travel from all over the world to see it and they're still really into it despite the statue missing pieces. I just want to let you know that if you were missing both arms, I'd still be into you too haha.
Love,
Luke
Letter #6
Dear Maisey,
I thought I'd switch it up with today's letter and talk about what's new over on this side of the Atlantic. I went to the diner last night with Anna, Harlow, and Sam. Sam's been checking in on me after everything with Paris. He really doesn't need to. We all know things with me and Paris have been over for a while now. I was just putting off the inevitable. To be honest, part of the reason I stayed with her for as long as I did was because it gave me a reason to not get between you and Brennan. Back before we knew the truth, it seemed like you were really happy with Brennan and I didn't want to tell you the truth - that I was starting to have feelings for you. I didn't want to ruin anything for you and I really didn't want to lose you as a friend. So I took the easy way out. I didn't tell you the truth about my feelings and I stayed with Paris because if I had a girlfriend I couldn't think of other possibilities.
If I needed any cheering up this week from Sam and my friends it wasn't because Paris and I broke up. It's because you're in France and I haven't heard from you. I understand you probably need your space, so I don't blame you. It just sucks that you're so far away and I can't actually tell you all of this. If you were here, I might wuss out though so maybe writing it down is easier. I won't chicken out of giving you this letter. Maybe. Probably.
Anyway, the diner was fun, but not the same without you ordering enough food for the table or trying to sneak a pickle off my plate. Anna says you and Jack are having a good time, but she didn't offer too many details and I didn't want to ask.
Love,
Luke
Letter #7
Dear Maisey,
You're going to be home tomorrow and I can't help but wonder if I'll hear from you. I don't know if you saw any of my messages I sent last weekend or if you've been keeping your phone off. I'm so nervous just thinking about the first time I'm going to see you or talk to you. I'm just hoping you don't hate me and think I had anything to do with what happened or knew what Paris had planned.
I'll never forget the look on your face when I got home that night to find you and Paris arguing. It was a look of pure heartbreak and it broke my heart before I even knew what was going on. it's a look I hope I never have to see on your face again and I swear I will never do anything to make you feel like that. Like the world is crumbling before you or the rug has been pulled out from under you. That's an earth shattering feeling and I promise I will never intentionally do anything to make you feel that way. I just hope you give me a chance to tell you that and prove it to you.
Love,
Luke
Letter #8
Dear Maisey,
You're on your way home today from France. I overheard my mom on the phone with your mom and it sounds like your flight is on schedule. I'm not expecting to hear from you tonight. You're probably going to be jet lagged and if you're going to talk to anyone, besides your mom, I'm pretty sure it's going to be Anna.
I'm just happy you're coming home. Not gonna lie, part of me was afraid you'd love it in France so much that you'd decide to stay there. Enroll in the Le Cordon Bleu or some other equally fancy cooking school and meet some french guy and never come home. Far fetched? Maybe. But it could happen.
I hope that I'll get to talk to you before school on Monday. I'm deciding whether to wait for you to reach out to me or if I should just try calling/texting you again tomorrow. I might ask Anna tomorrow for some advice since she's your best friend. Hopefully she can tell me whether I should wait for you to contact me or not.
This is so weird to write in the middle of my letter to you, but you just texted me to tell me you're home and to wish me a happy belated birthday. I asked you if we could get together soon and you said maybe. That's better than a no, so I'll take it.
Love,
Luke
****
That was the last letter in the stack. I can't believe he took the time to write me a letter for each day I was away. Sure they weren't all poetic letters, but each one did come from the heart and I think that's a huge accomplishment for an 18 year old guy. Or any guy in general. Damn, just when I think he can't get any greater, he pulls off something like this that just makes my heart want to explode into tiny confetti hearts.
I grabbed my phone.
Me: I just read the letters. You're amazing, I hope you know that.
Luke: I'm glad you like them and didn't think they were too lame.
Me: Never! They were perfect <3
Luke: Does this grant me a 2nd date?
Me: That's a no-brainer! Jk I'd love to go on a second date soon though I don't know how we're going to top our first date.
Luke: Challenge accepted.
I know I'm not even 18 yet, but everything just seems right with Luke. Like all the pieces just fit perfectly now and I'm not trying to jam pieces together and force them. It just makes sense and feels right. I may be young, but when you know, you know. And I know, deep in my bones that not only have I had the best first date ever tonight, but my last first date ever.
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Thanks for reading! Last chapter and epilogue will be up on Friday!