Bucky's date with [Y/N] is the best evidence of how quickly information can spread. Because even if Steve Rogers is the most trustworthy person in the world, he seems to have succumbed to gossip as much as any other person. Because neither Bucky nor [Y/N] told anyone but Steve about their date and yet everyone knows it even before the said day comes. And even if Bucky had slowly integrated in the past few weeks, it is still an uncomfortable feeling to be the gossip of the week. And even if [Y/N] is just as unenthusiastic about being the center of attention, she was always able to calm Bucky down when he felt too uncomfortable. After all, they are just friends and the date offers a change from their otherwise so constant everyday life.
It would be an understatement to say that Steve feels proud. If he could, his chest would surely be bursting with pride. After Bucky was saved, he wished nothing more than that his friend would be better. And in the past few weeks, he could watch Bucky relax more and more, especially when [Y/N] was around. He started laughing and cracking jokes and his room became less and less of a hiding place. Of course, he doesn't like the thought of how easily the two of them take the date because he thinks that there's something going on between them but that Bucky even took this step is a good sign in his eyes.
Yet, Steve would like to do more than give them both tips for the evening, but for Bucky this is more than enough already. "I don't know if I should really take tips from you, Steve" Bucky smirks at his best friend. "I mean... When was your last date?"
"1943. You had a cute brunette with you and my date was her best friend, the blonde. I don't even remember her name anymore."
"Probably because you cared more about joining the army than about her." Bucky raises his right eyebrow, finding it hard to believe that Steve never went on a real date ever since. Still he has to grin. "What about the cute blonde you kissed. Sandy... Shalene... something with S."
"Sharon" replies Steve.
"Yes, exactly. Have you spoken to her after the kiss?"
"No. I suppose she had to go into hiding at the time as well."
"That's what I mean... are you really able to give me advice?" Bucky's grin is wide, snappy and challenging, causing Steve to grin too.
"If I remember correctly, your last date is just as long ago."
Bucky's grin fades and he presses his lips together. "Fair enough."
"Are you ever going to tell me about the thing between the two of you?" Steve asks further and crosses his arms. His expression tells Bucky that there's no way out this time because usually, Bucky avoids talking about himself.
"There's no thing" he says but doesn't even believe it himself and he knows that Steve doesn't believe it either.
"Right. That's why you made it clear that I should take good care of her. And I'd like to remember you that I had to promise it more than once in less than 24 hours."
Bucky thinks back to the times he had said that and knows that Steve is right. Ever since [Y/N] tried to help him escape in Bucharest, he had felt that he owed her something. But when she insisted in Germany on helping to fight the Winter Soldiers, it wasn't just a feeling of owing. He remembers looking into her [y/ec] eyes and just thinking that he wants her to be safe. Because behind all the determination in her eyes, he could see something else. It wasn't fear, more like pain that he couldn't understand but now does. That slight glimmer of negative emotions had made him want to protect her. And of course he had imagined the fight in Germany to be different. It was clear to everyone that there was going to be a fight, but he had never imagined traveling to Siberia only with Steve. On the way to Wakanda, he could only wonder if [Y/N] had really made it out of there safely, as Steve had tried to reassure him. They had all risked so much but no one had ever asked her to do what she had done. Clint, Wanda, Scott... they have all been asked by Steve and Sam to come and support them. But [Y/N] had made this decision of her own free will, not even waiting for the men to ask her and the determination in her eyes hadn't let Bucky argue for a moment. And he knew he would have made the same decision if he would have had a choice.
"You like her" interrupts Steve Bucky's thoughts, who is unaware of how long he was absent and lost in his thoughts without answering his best friend.
"It's different. Not that I've met a lot of women in the last few years. But there is something about her that I can't seem to escape."
"That's called attraction, Buck. Usually, that's what women felt for you" Steve answers, waving his friend a cheeky grin. "Looks like tables have turned."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Are you nervous?" Steve asks [Y/N] two days before their date.
"I would be less nervous if you wouldn't have spread the news to everyone" [Y/N] answers but knows that it was probably an accident.
"I promise you, I haven't. Not like that. But once Sam found out..."
"That man really can't keep his mouth shut" [Y/N] sighs but with slight amusement in her voice. Her and Sam get along very well ever since they talked things out. Also, Natasha will help her to get ready for the date and since she never went to a real date, she's more than grateful. If the date would've stayed a secret, she'd have to get ready alone. "It's good that he's going out, isn't it?" she asks Steve with hope in her voice. Bucky is the one who's having the hardest time, trying to move on.
"He has changed a lot, you know? Ever since you're training with him, he's hiding less."
"I've noticed."
"Then why isn't your date a proper date?"
"Steve Rogers, are you really in the position to give me any dating advice?" [Y/N] jokes and Steve rolls his eyes. Hasn't he had the same conversation with Bucky just yesterday?
"Well, when was your last kiss?" he answers.
"Ouch!" [Y/N] laughs but becomes more silent then. "I honestly don't even remember" she mumbles, her cheeks turning red.
"Is it that long ago?" Steve asks more carefully.
[Y/N] shrugs. "I haven't told anyone but I barely remember my life before Hydra. I always thought it's because I don't want to remember it because it's past and the memories would hurt too much... But... The more I think about it, it feels like they have erased my memories. Or at least have tried to. I can't even tell you what school I went to or the name of my best friends... I just remember a beautiful blonde woman with a beautiful laugh. Gosh, Steve. I don't even remember how I met her!"
Steve looks to the ground for a moment before he lifts up his gaze. "I'm sorry" he says in all honesty, not knowing what else to say. He wraps his arms around [Y/N] and pulls her into a tight hug. "You know, you can always talk to me."
The thought that Hydra may have tried to erase her memories and partially succeeded scares her. "If they could erase or lock away Bucky's memories through his programming... What if they tried to erase memories without reprogramming the person?" she sobs as fear takes over her.
"Then we can be glad they didn't quite succeed" mumbles Steve, who finds the thought equally unsettling. He is relieved that [Y/N]'s head is still buried in his chest, his own resting on hers because that way she cannot see the worries that he is feeling right now. Just knowing what happened to Bucky is still painful. But the thought that [Y/N] cannot completely remember her own life makes him incredibly sad. Even if their lives were decades ago, their childhood and youth shaped them. They shaped him to the man he is now. His friendship with Bucky shaped him and he doesn't want to imagine not remembering him. Forgetting your past is like losing part of your identity. The thought makes him shudder. And every time he thinks Hydra can't get any worse, new gruesome details come to light.
"What if they did?" [Y/N] mumbles and slowly releases the tight hug. "What if they succeeded with others?"
Steve lets his right hand wander from [Y/N]'s back to her face and gently strokes her cheek. She looks up at him in surprise, like always when they are that close. It doesn't happen often, but Steve knows this is the best way to get her focus. He gives her a gentle, encouraging smile and lets his hand wander further until he reaches her hair. He lets his hand slide through it soothingly. "I know the thought is scary. But you are fine and that is the most important thing. You are here with us and you are safe. And you can remember. Maybe not everything, but you have memories. To ask yourself what happened to people you don't know won't help you. "
[Y/N] sighs and snuggles her head against Steve's hand, the near of which is very calming at the moment. "I don't even know if other test subjects survived and what happened to them." She freezes for a moment because she has a feeling that she knew this not too long ago.
"I know" Steve mumbles as his fingers continue to run through her hair. In moments like this, he realizes how strong [Y/N] always wants to be. For herself, for Bucky. Probably even for him and the rest of the group too. But sometimes she suffers just as much. "You know... Bucky is the perfect choice for a first date" he tries to cheer her up. "He's a real gentleman."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Considering the choice of your clothes, I decided to help you out" says Natasha as she enters [Y/N]'s room. "The black outfit from dinner you wore wasn't bad, but it's not a perfect choice for a first date."
"Hello Natasha, thank you for helping me" sighs [Y/N], who is drying her hair with a towel. It's the evening of the date and she has only an hour to get ready. She had thought that an hour would be enough, but Natasha's long speech makes her doubt her decision. Especially since she had just emphasized that they have a tight schedule.
"Here" says Natasha proudly and stands right in front of her, holding a beautiful red dress in her hand. It's elegant and cute, yet short enough to convey some sex appeal. "Considering that you usually only wear jeans and hoodies, this dress seems like a good choice."
It's not like [Y/N] doesn't have enough clothes of her own, but she has to admit that none of her clothes would fit as well as this dress does. And a discussion with Natasha Romanoff hardly ever makes sense, which is why [Y/N] won't even protest. "Thank you very much, it's beautiful!"
"Then go put it on! Your hair will take a while!"
***
Natasha is definitely the best when it comes to dressing up. After all, it had been her job for a long time to steal information through her looks and small flirtations. And she does a great job on her friend too. After putting on the dress, Natasha helps [Y/N] to put on some make-up without going over the top. [Y/N] is more of the natural woman who uses little make-up in everyday life. To overdo it now would not suit her and make her look fake. Then, Natasha twists her curls. While [Y/N] watches her change in the bathroom mirror, she senses a faint memory. She used to twist curls too. But she can't remember when or what for. But she doesn't want to worry her friend and smiles at Natasha through the mirror.
"Are you nervous?" Natasha asks, who has noticed the sudden tension.
"I couldn't think of a better company than Bucky."
"That doesn't answer my question." Putting a new strand of hair around the curling iron, Natasha looks at [Y/N] with her right eyebrow raised, a sparse grin on her lips. "I still can't believe you could convince Barnes to go out."
"It was his idea actually" admits [Y/N].
"Oh really?" Natasha drops the strand of hair, which is now twisted into a perfect curl. "If so: Do you need any more advice?"
Natasha and [Y/N]'s eyes meet in the mirror but the latter does not want to confide in anyone other than Steve yet. Maybe Hydra hadn't tried to erase her memories and she'd just forgotten everything over the years. Therefore she can't tell Natasha that she doesn't even remember what it's like to be on a date. She doesn't even know if she's ever been on a date before. "I think you have already helped us enough" she replies gratefully. Natasha had reserved a table for Bucky and her in a restaurant that was small enough not to be recognized directly and gave her further tips for how to continue the evening. Since they are still considered criminals and wanted by the government, it is not that easy to leave the house. And yet, a date outside of these walls is important to get at least a little sense of normalcy.
Natasha puts the curling iron aside and runs her hands through [Y/N]s hair to loosen the curls a little, then secures everything with some hairspray. With a smile on her face, she takes a step aside and proudly looks at her work. "Now look at this beautiful woman."
[Y/N] looks in the mirror and also has to smile when she barely recognizes herself. She looks so grown up. So different and yet the woman in the mirror is still her. Just a little fancier.