Nobody was ready to give in.
Even before sunrise, when the sky was tinted a pale blue and there was an odd sense of calmness, Alivia was up and alert. Now the sun was on its highest point and her head was throbbing. Was it the heat or the chanting nonsense Wiress insisted on? Who knows.
Either way, she felt like she was going to lose her mind.
Another parachute filled with fruit was delivered as soon as they woke up. Still no water but they tried to manage with what they had. By Beetee's side, Wiress threw her ration onto the ground.
"Here, have mine," Blight offered. "I don't mind eating them off the ground."
It was a nice gesture, even though Beetee refused on her behalf. Wasting food was not a luxury they could afford at the moment.
"Mags, I fucking love you!" Johanna screamed into the jungle while she munched on the fruit. Quite a reckless way to tell any tributes nearby where they were, but Alivia was too tired to say anything about it.
A loud, shaking noise disrupted the otherwise silent jungle. Their heads perked up, searching for the source. It sounded exactly like rain but the skies were clear blue.
"Do you hear that?" Blight asked.
"Sounds like it's pouring somewhere."
Alivia stood silent, wary of her surroundings. Whatever it was, it kept getting closer. Then, the pouring hit them. All at once. It was so sudden it left them dumbfounded for a second. There had been a hint of relief along with a bit of suspicion, but now it was all drowning confusion. This so-called rain had nothing refreshing about it. It felt heavy, like she couldn't lift her own bones, and it was so hot it made her skin feel like it was boiling.
"It's blood!" Blight yelled somewhere.
Alivia's eyelashes started clumping together, making it almost impossible to see three steps away. "We have to get to the beach!" Alivia tried to say. It was a bad call because she immediately gagged.
She stumbled upon a clueless Wiress on her way ahead so she grabbed the nearest leaf she could feel and put it over the lady's head to cover it as she dragged her across the jungle. She also grabbed Beetee's wire and shoved it into his chest. Beetee quickly grabbed hold of Wiress to not get lost in the madness.
A bang made her trip on her own feet. With the little vision she possessed, she spied Blight's body flying in front of them. She wanted to gasp, she wanted to stop and help him but if they didn't keep moving they would not be able to breathe soon.
The sound of the canyon told her it was too late anyways.
Alivia thought they wouldn't make it, until she landed in the sand and felt the mist of the waves. Her knees felt so heavy from the clumped sand mixing with the blood. She coughed and spitted out everything that got into her mouth. Bile started to gather in her throat while Johanna rammed her ax into the sand in frustration.
It took a few minutes for all them to recover, except for Wiress that was already wandering back. Johanna pushed her back quite harshly and made sure the area was clear. She waited for no one. It was dangerous but they were basically blind.
"I need a minute," Alivia mumbled once she was stared at for not moving.
A voice from afar caught her attention. Had she actually lost it or was Finnick really screaming somewhere at the beach? Have I gone insane? Apparently not. Her eyes watered in need to cleanse themselves.
A wave of relief went through her once Finnick met up with Johanna cheerily and he seemed visibly unharmed. Alivia took a deep breath and stood up. Her legs trembled with every step she took but she managed to join the group nevertheless. Katniss spotted her before anyone, bow still in hand. Alivia should've expected the arrow pointed to her face, she had sneaked up on them and with all that blood she could bet she was not a pretty sight.
It was a chaotic minute, Alivia didn't know when Johanna and Katniss started to push each other like two children fighting for a caramel but she was glad they didn't use their weapons. She extended her arm to stop Beetee from getting in their way. Finnick dragged Johanna away so she could calm down, so her loose hand over Beetee fell down.
Peeta offered to get them water in the meantime. Finnick jogged to his side and said something along the lines of stay here. Alivia swallowed her hello's down and walked over to the sea so she could wash herself alongside Beetee.
"I appreciate you not leaving us behind," Beetee said as he pushed the glasses to the bridge of his nose.
She shrugged a little bit, she didn't know what to say. Beetee wasn't expecting an answer though, he started walking towards land. Alivia stayed and took her time to wash everything throughout. With how sick and twisted the Capitol was she didn't doubt that the blood she was soaked in was from other tributes. She gave a quick glance every once in a while to where Beetee was, just to make sure he was still there.
"You need some help with that?" Alivia shrugged once again. "Here."
The hollow coconut filled with water that Finnick was carrying was placed on her hands. She wasn't ashamed of how fast she gulped that down. Her throat had been so dry it felt like she was about to breathe fire.
"How are you?"
Alivia kept looking at the coconut in her hands. "I'm holding up," she finally spoke. "How about you? How have you guys been?"
Finnick snorted, reaching for Alivia's face and cleaning a bit of blood she had missed. It took every bit of energy she had left to not flutter her eyes at how tender Finnick was treating her.
"Oh, we've been great," he enunciated sarcastically. "We've only been attacked by poisonous fog, mutts and, oh! How could I forget? Peeta died."
Alivia gave a second glance to where Peeta was seated. He sat between the overbearing leaves of the jungle so Alivia thought that maybe Finnick was just playing with her. Peeta gave an awkward smile in response to the narrowed eyes pointed at him.
Her brain was in no condition to think everything through so "What?" was all she could say.
Once Alivia was ready to leave the water, Finnick spent time trying to fill her in on what had happened since they split up. Despite her sleepy demeanor, Alivia listened attentively.
Finnick couldn't hide the surprise he felt when he saw Johanna had gotten Beetee and Wiress out alive, it was not exactly a matter of skill but a matter of patience. It was all less surprising once he saw Alivia come out of the jungle as well.
She looked absolutely wrecked; covered in blood and dirt but alive, thank god she was alive.
"I told them that if I wanted to kill either of them I would've already done it."
"You–what? No wonder they didn't feel safe."
"It's the truth! Would it have been better if I lied to them?"
"Sometimes it's better to... avoid the truth, for the sake of coexistence."
Finnick seemed rather interested in the response. "Have you ever lied to me?"
"No," she lied.
The corners of his mouth quirked up as if he saw right through her. Alivia tried to change the subject immediately. "So, were they that bad?"
Finnick wanted to say yes so badly but Alivia's apologetic face made him grunt. "No, I guess not. Peeta actually thanked me for saving his life, you know, no big deal."
"Have you done it before–Have you ever resuscitated someone?"
Green met blue when Finnick's eyes fixated on the waves in front of them.
"No. Never."
"And how did it feel?"
"Oh great, it was like making out with Peeta."
Alivia scrunched up her nose cause that had been a terrible lie. Yet, she didn't push. There was no reason to force him to share something he didn't want to share. Finnick's eyes met Alivia once more as he cleared his throat.
"Actually, it was...I mean, I saved a life."
"You did." Alivia genuinely smiled at him. "Give yourself the credit you deserve, Odair. It's not time to be humble."
That comment made Finnick smile as well and even as he ducked his head, she noticed a faint blush spreading over his face, almost like he was embarrassed.
Alivia's heart sure skipped a beat.
"Is there a reason you are staring at me like that?" Finnick asked, before he added quite playful, "Not that I mind."
Alivia hadn't even realized she had been staring. Her cheeks were already in a deep blush due to the warmth of the arena, still she felt them burn from getting caught. Trying to play it off, "You have some," she pointed to his eyebrows, "sand."
It was true but the only reason she noticed was because she had been staring so bad.
"Oh," he said as he started wiping his face.
Alivia kept her hands to herself, still mistakenly thinking Finnick didn't enjoy being touched. She blinked a couple of times, rubbing her right eye and sighing quietly.
"So," Finnick asked in a more hushed tone, "How are you? Honestly."
"I'm just tired. I ate a few oranges but that's about it. We had no water so we were all dehydrated." If Alivia felt lightheaded, she kept it to herself. Finnick had the tendency sometimes to follow Mags mom's instincts. "But are you okay?"
"Yeah, it was kind of brutal but I'm pretty tough."
As he said that, Finnick wiped his forehead, the heat was more manageable than it was in the depths of the jungle but it was still intense.
"I bet you are really missing your parade outfit right about now, huh."
Alivia thought out loud, she didn't mean to but apparently dehydration did some funny things with her mind. Fortunately, Finnick was an easy laugh so he chuckled openly. He was extremely glad they found each other again.
"You can rest now, I'll guard for you."
Sadly, Alivia never got to agree since Katniss came back to shore announcing a discovery with Wiress in tow. They gathered around in the cornucopia as they listened attentively to Katniss' explanation. For some reason, Alivia couldn't shake the feeling that someone was closer than they thought. Her feet chose a direction on their own and started to walk away, looking around warily.
Finnick didn't let her go for more than five steps. He grabbed her wrist and promptly asked, "What's wrong?"
There was no time for a response. They were surrounded. Cashmere took an arrow to her chest for slitting Wiress' throat. Someone cursed out loud, Alivia wasn't sure it hadn't been her. Finnick pushed Alivia behind him, getting a clear shot at Gloss' chest.
"I'm a man of my word." Finnick muttered as he stuck his trident so far into his body it came out on the other side.
Blood spluttered out from Gloss' mouth as he fell brusquely to the floor. Finnick had been waiting to do that since he found out not only that Gloss had hurt Alivia but he had been the reason they parted ways in the first place.
"Split!" someone shouted.
Brutus used his spear as a shield and Finnick mimicked him with this trident. They pushed and pulled, and nobody was ready to give in. Both Johanna and Alivia followed Katniss that ran straight to danger. Alivia had climbed up the cornucopia to slide to the other side but she was thrown back when a knife grazed the top of her head. She fell on her back with a thud, making it easy for Enobaria to get on top of her and restrain both her hands.
Enobaria had thrown her last knife but it was not like she needed a blade when she had fangs for teeth. The woman stared at Alivia's bare neck, huffing at the uneven skin. "Nice scar. Should I finish what they started?"
Alivia blinked quickly, trying to scare the dizziness away; she raised her knee to kick her stomach. As Enobaria backed off in pain, Alivia raised her foot to kick her in the face to throw her completely out of balance and force her to spit some blood out. Although Alivia's face was now splattered, what weirded her out was the growl directed at her.
Enobaria was actually growling at her.
Stunned and still on the floor, Alivia watched as Enobaria retreated once she saw Brutus stomp away from the cornucopia, followed by Katniss and Johanna. Katniss stopped to get her bow and arrow ready when suddenly the rock started spinning. It took a moment for Alivia to register, she thought she had hit her head hard enough.
It was merely seconds but Alivia was sure that had her body not been shielded by a rock, she would've drowned. On the other side, Katniss collected a sigh from everyone as she emerged. Finnick lifted Alivia to her feet and both ran out of breath as they asked at the same time, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Are you? What's this?" He pointed to her splattered face.
"It's fine, it's not my blood." Or at least she didn't think it was.
"Let's get out of this bloody island," Johanna said.
The adrenaline in their bodies started to wear off and their muscles started to hurt or feel sore as soon as they stepped on sand. It was not until an awkward silence settled that Finnick noticed his heart hammering against his chest.
Peeta offered to get some water for Katniss and Finnick followed immediately. Bread boy was so prone to danger he'd rather keep an eye on him. "Here," he passed his trident to Alivia in front of everyone. "You know how to use this, don't hesitate to defend yourself if you feel in danger."
"I don't think it's necessary."
She didn't want it. Somehow, Finnick took offense in that and Alivia ended up grabbing it while they went away. They hanged around in awkward silence, Katniss still coughing up some water. Alivia twirled the trident around once when sudden goosebumps went through her body.
"What? What is it?" Katniss asked urgently, she had been tense enough knowing Peeta wasn't near her, Alivia's frown was enough to tip her over the edge.
"Don't you hear that?"
It was a nameless scream, barely an echo, but Alivia felt in her gut she knew the voice. Then, her name shattered through the jungle as someone screamed, "Alivia!"
Finnick, her mind recognized.
She started sprinting, following the throat-tearing call out for help. Her breath wasn't enough and her heartbeat was fast and shallow. Nothing but a flap of wings was found. Alivia stared at it confused, turning to a set of hurried footsteps that followed a similar bird, only Katniss called out for her sister. Her breath started coming shorter and shorter as she swallowed thickly. She meant to say something, to move, but the birds started storming towards them with louder screeching.
Katniss grabbed her wrist and yanked her forward but it was too late, the force field had already claimed them as their own. Falling to her knees, she let go of the trident in a desperate attempt to cover her ears. In the process, the blades that she was still clutching in the palms of her hands sliced through the sweaty skin. Alivia barely noticed the sting.
Her mom was the loudest one.
Finnick and Peeta were just making their way back when both girls sprinted right past them. They didn't get there in time. Johanna wasn't able to stop them by herself and Beetee only set her back. His chest felt like being ripped out once Alivia cut her face unknowingly with him as a front row spectator. Her eyes were glued shut and yet tears kept running through her cheeks.
At some point Johanna started hitting the barrier with her ax, the vibrations made Alivia open her eyes. At once, he started to pantomime what Alivia thought she had dreamed. Breathing in and out, he waited for her to do the same. When she blinked, she made the mistake of closing her eyes for too long and she shook her head. She couldn't do it.
Finnick locked their eyes once more, not giving up just yet. Breathe, please. He thought desperately. Alivia tried so urgently to keep breathing she almost missed when the hour was up. When Finnick approached her as cautiously as he could, those heart wrenching noises still echoed in her head.
"Alivia, can you hear me?"
Her chest rose heavily, nails dug up on the soil so deep that her fingertips hid from the surface entirely. Alivia kept blocking Finnick's voice along with the rest of them, after all, the first cry of help had been his. It took a couple tries to get her to snap out of it.
"It's over. Look, it's over."
Her eyes were glassy, still shedding tears as they connected with Finnick's. Crimson mixing in her cheeks with tears and sweat. Then, she took a quick look at her surroundings, trying to stand up and failing miserably.
"Hey, easy, easy," Finnick said, kneeling beside her. "I need to touch you, is that okay?"
It took about a minute for Alivia to answer but Finnick didn't budge until she nodded. Using both hands to raise her face to eye level, he inspected the wounds gently. Alivia failed to keep their eyes locked, her gaze falling lost somewhere in the jungle. "Come here," Finnick mumbled before embracing her. "It's over now."
He felt her quiet sobbing as he passed a hand up and down her back in an attempt to soothe her. Alivia had yearned to hear her mom's voice one last time but not like this; the cruelty of using her passed loved ones made her tremble. In the meantime, Johanna was trying to reason with a disturbed Katniss.
"You know it's not real. I mean, who did Alivia hear? Her dead mother?"
"Hey! Back off, Johanna!" Finnick's voice was so stern it made Johanna raise her ax in defense.
"I'm just making a point."
Since nobody backed her up, Johanna stomped away leaving both girls to collect themselves.
"Do you feel ready to stand up?" Finnick kindly asked.
Alivia only nodded, even if her legs felt like they could barely hold her up. Their slow pace was matched by the couple on their side. Katniss was clinging as hard as she could to Peeta. Finnick looked so worried by her side.
"Alright, so splitting up has just been proven to work terribly," he mumbled.
After handing Katniss some water, Johanna did the same to Finnick. While Alivia wasn't looking, Finnick made a face at Johanna and silently pointed to Alivia so she would apologize. Johanna rolled her eyes but did it anyway.
"You know I didn't mean it like that, right?"
Johanna looked awkward and bothered but Alivia still nodded. "Yeah, it's fine."
It wasn't exactly an apology but Alivia wasn't expecting one. Besides, she had spent enough time with her to realize that it was just the way she was. Not inherently mean, just angry and misunderstood.
"Are you okay?"
Finnick asked after Alivia had taken at least a sip of water and she had let him clean her wounds. Alivia nodded once more, not daring to look away from the water. Finnick looked at her sternly but didn't raise his voice more than necessary.
"You don't have to be." Alivia rested her face on the knees she was hugging. "You can talk to me–"
"I have a plan," Beetee interrupted.
Finnick looked visibly conflicted but Alivia stood up and waited for him to do the same. Before meeting with the others that started to gather, Alivia mumbled to him, "I'll be okay."
After the plan was discussed, they started dividing into pairs once more. Alivia laid down for a while, wanting to rest before they had to hunt for something to eat. A few strands of hair fell into her face as she did so and Finnick immediately removed them from her face. "You have to let the wound breathe," he said.
Being so physically and mentally exhausted, she fell asleep incredibly easily. Even though it was easy, it didn't last for long. Alivia woke up in a heartbeat, gasping slightly feeling feverish, sweaty and thirsty. By her side, Finnick tried to calm her down.
Alivia plopped back down, breathing heavily as she passed a hand through her forehead. The sun was still on a very high point so Alivia was confused. "How long was I asleep?"
"Not much, probably an hour. Give or take."
Finnick followed her as she reached for the waves in front of them and started splashing her face. Alivia visibly winced when her forgetful fingers danced over her wounds. She let out a blow of breath silently trying to not wince again and shake off the sick feeling once and for all.
"Here, you haven't eaten anything all day."
The raw fish Finnick was offering was not helping to sort out the knot on her stomach.
"I think I might get some water first."
"I'll go with you."
"Don't go too far," Johanna threatened with her mouth full.
While Alivia's hollow log filled, Finnick made a quick perimeter check around her. He found some edible leaves they could munch on with the fish besides a flower he decided to pluck. It had a pink color that randomly resembled Alivia's cheeks when she blushed.
"Look, I found this flower," he said as he offered it to Alivia. "Thought you would like it."
The beating of her heart picked up a faster pace and she almost dropped her now filled log.
"Thank you. I do. I do like it, it's very pretty."
"Yeah, it reminded me of you."
Finnick carried on like nothing had happened while Alivia's brain short-circuited. While she was eating, she placed it on her hair like they were on a silly picnic trip.
After dinner, Peeta and Katniss walked by, probably to get some privacy before separating for their guards. When they passed behind Alivia and Finnick, Peeta squeezed Alivia's shoulder gently and asked, "Are you okay?"
Stunned, Alivia nodded. "Are you, Katniss?"
The girl nodded absently and they kept walking.
"Well, that was odd," Finnick stated. "If I wasn't so sure those two are madly in love I would think Peeta is interested in you."
Alivia snorted.
"I thought you didn't believe them. What happened?"
"I spent more than five minutes with them."
The sun had already set and the camp was mostly silent. The only people awake were Finnick and Alivia. There was a certain peace at the beach under the moonlight, with the waves going back and forth. Alivia stayed pensive, playing again and again the eventful day they'd passed until she decided to share a piece of her mind.
"You know..." she started loud enough that only Finnick would hear, "I always thought that the night I woke up from a nightmare at Mags' house had been some sort of dream."
Finnick took a second to answer.
"No, it did happen."
Alivia shifted in her place.
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"I figured you wouldn't want me to."
There was a heavy pause.
"How did you know what to do?"
Finnick was brought back to the first time he woke up from a nightmare like that. He was still a boy; and his nightmares weren't what one should expect from kids like monsters and darkness, they were bloody and perturbing.
"It happened to me too. Mags taught me what to do." Alivia's lips tightened. "It gets easier with time, I promise."
Heaviness set in her chest when Finnick didn't say it got better. Only easier. It made her wonder if nightmares still haunted Finnick. Alivia scrunched up her nose, deep in thought; so Finnick started talking again.
"So, you thought it was a dream, huh? Dream of me often?"
He raised his eyebrow lazily and got a roll of eyes in response. He had no idea. Even if Alivia wanted to answer, she didn't get a chance when they were both startled by Peeta clearing his throat by their side. He had a sorta silly smile that tugged his lips when he announced their watch was over.
They settled side by side with some leafage as a head rest. "Hey, if anything happens, wake me up." Shortly after, Finnick fell asleep way too easily, stretched out with his messy hair and sweaty forehead. When it was time, it took about three tries to shake the slumber out of him.
"What? Is everything okay? Are you okay?"
"It's time to go."