Denial is a bliss.
A knock on her door startled Alivia's hand away. She'd been about to open it to go out herself, to meet Finnick of all things; only to find out that Finnick went out to find her instead.
"Good morning," he said with a smile.
She already felt her cheeks flush. God, it's not even eight in the morning, she thought. "Good morning. What are you doing here?"
"I brought breakfast." He pointed out, confused. "I told you we would meet in the morning?"
"No—Yes. I mean, you did. I just assumed—Do you want to come in?"
Alivia saved her breath, it was pointless trying to explain that when Finnick said "Let's meet up first thing in the morning," she expected to meet up at the training center.
Finnick hardly gave it a second thought as he walked into the house, trying to act as casual as he could. Now, Finnick wasn't nosy but he'd never seen the inside of Alivia's house and it thrilled him to finally do it. Not nosy, just curious.
By his side, Alivia didn't miss the way Finnick lingered ever so slightly in every little detail on her house; it made her feel self conscious. She didn't welcomed guests very often.
Even though the lack of—well—everything in her house suggested otherwise, Alivia didn't want to paint herself as some kind of outsider. She had friends like Mags and Tamara. And she definitely engaged in socializing when needed. The problem was that Alivia rarely thought it was needed.
Once in the kitchen, Alivia tried her best to start a conversation.
"Where is Mags?"
"I already walked her to the center. Apparently she is making it a habit."
"And you didn't have breakfast with her?"
"Not really. I don't enjoy eating that early in the morning. But, on my way back I bought some pastries. I thought of asking Mags which ones you fancied but I was setting myself up there cause she would've definitely asked for one. I just brought variety, feel free to help yourself. And if you're not in the mood I also brought some fresh fruit. And oh!" He gasped. "I almost forgot but I bought you something for the training."
Alivia's mouth slightly opened as out of the corner of her eye she managed to confirm that it was 7:30am indeed.
"Sounds like you had a busy morning."
He hummed in acknowledgement while Alivia focused on putting the kettle on, she figured it was the least she could do.
"What about you," he asked. "Did you had breakfast? It looked like you were already going out."
"I ate an apple." Finnick snorted.
With no sign more obvious than Alivia's oblivious frown, he understood she wasn't trying to make a joke.
"Oh, you are serious." She shrugged. "Do you usually eat like that? How do you get through the morning of training?"
"Well, you said it yourself, they are children. And we have lunch at twelve so it's not really a problem."
She slowly placed a cup in front of Finnick and the kettle right by his side. As she watched Finnick drop three sugar cubes into his tea, another question slipped her mind. If she'd been attentive she would've listened Finnick's commentary about eating better.
"Don't you think it'll be too much for Mags to handle?"
"Uh, don't let her know you said that."
Alivia bit the inner part of her cheek to avoid cursing when she touched her own cup of tea and it was burning hot. She sighed. "Maybe I should go help her."
"Don't worry," Finnick tried, "we'll pause the training."
"What about the kids?"
District 4 was relatively wealthy. Alivia was certain of this cause she had seen it for herself when doing her victory tour. They were definitely on the brighter side of Panem, but times were tough enough. More often than not, children would find themselves eating there and she couldn't help but wonder what would happen if they stopped.
"I've got this under control, trust me."
Alivia hesitated but didn't dig further so they could finish their breakfast peacefully.
After that, it was time for Alivia to enter Finnick's house. Unlike him, she'd actually seen it once or twice. Only when Mags needed something and Finnick wasn't around. She was practically dragged in, she'd been too shy to even consider it.
Finnick was looking for something, something "he couldn't leave at Mags' house", so it was either a weapon or something sugary. There was no in between.
"Ah! I knew it was over here somewhere."
And that was definitely not a pastry. What Finnick held like a broomstick was an engraved, very shiny and extremely lethal trident. It was so sharp every time Finnick moved it made a "shink" sound.
"Is that the trident you received in your games?"
"Yeah. I've kept it 'cause I figured it had to mean something, you know."
The crease between his eyebrows confirmed that it did meant something just not something good.
He started walking and Alivia followed with no second thought. "I know Mags doesn't use weapons so that's why I went and got you this." A set of curved knives greeted Alivia. "This is what you used in your games, right?"
Alivia nodded while Finnick placed them in her hands. "If you want to try something new we can do that. Perhaps not a trident, otherwise it would be awkward."
He twirled his weapon around with a cheeky grin, Alivia couldn't help but to quirk up her own lips.
"Oh! Maybe you can use my rod."
As he kneeled to pick it up, Alivia frowned. "A fishing rod?"
He extended his arm as one would to reel their fishing rod but exchanged movements with a weird maneuver of his wrist, wrapping Alivia and bringing her forward.
She couldn't help a squeak when Finnick caught her. As if that hadn't been embarrassing enough, with barely any space between their faces, he teased "Hey, there."
She deviated her gaze from his, "Alright, I get it."
With the curved knives in hand, she set herself free. "I'll stick to these. Thank you."
"Hey, I said I'll train you and I'll do it right."
They walked over to the center, once again; except this time they weren't walking quietly. Finnick took it upon himself to fill in the silence. Alivia couldn't even process everything Finnick was saying. He jumped from one topic to another so graciously that she didn't question it but that didn't exactly meant she understood. He talked about a whole strategy he came up on his mind assuming certain aspects of the games like the given tributes. Tributes who had no other choice because they were the only victors available. It did not surprise her, Finnick was a very intelligent person.
They did not discuss the topic of who would possibly be the male tribute from district 4 but something about the way Finnick expressed himself made her feel like he assumed it was going to be him. Alivia didn't dwell too much on that. Denial is a bliss, or was it ignorance?, she thought.
To say that things were still awkward between them was an understatement. It was like Alivia was simultaneously trying to keep up her boundaries while also trying to give into the amiable treatment Finnick offered. She didn't know whether she was being stubborn or straight up being idiotic.
"I feel like something is missing," Finnick murmured.
Alivia agreed, there was definitely something missing.
"We should do trust falls." She looked at him weirdly, ready to try and slip out of this one but Finnick seemed very determined. "C'mon, it'll help us trust more in each other."
I doubt that, she thought.
"Here, I'll go first."
"Uh, Finnick... I don't think—"
And there he was, falling backwards while Alivia hurried to catch him. His hair tickled her face and he was actually kind of heavy she was worried her arms might just give up.
"See? It was that easy. And, now we know you have great strength. Now it's your turn."
By the time he turned around, Alivia was agape. "I could've dropped you."
"But you didn't." Finnick pointed out cheeky. Alivia hesitated and Finnick tilted his head. "Please?"
She sighed.
"Fine."
With a giddy smile and open arms to welcome her, Alivia let herself fall. It was dumb but it wasn't nearly as bad as it seemed. Of course, Finnick couldn't let the opportunity slide and pretend to drop her, even when she was already safe, in an attempt to make Alivia let her guard down.
Alivia was sure she felt her heart stop but she couldn't help the nervous laughter that followed.
Yes, they were going to be alright, he thought.
Surprisingly enough, they missed lunch. They were so focused they didn't hear their stomachs rumbling. Right when Alivia started to get easily irritated she noticed she hadn't eaten since morning.
That was enough for them to call it quits; Mags even went home without them.
Alivia drifted mindlessly towards her house, ready to say her goodbyes and call it a night. But Finnick had other plans, or at least he alluded to it with his weird stare. "Where are you going?"
"To my house."
"What? No. I'm making us dinner. My treat. Please?" Finnick smiled.
"Okay," she said returning the smile.
Would she ever be able to say no to Finnick? Probably not. And it didn't even bothered her as much as she thought it would.
Alivia was told to rest and leave their meal in Finnick's hands. It was quite a sight. As Finnick danced around the kitchen, Alivia was sure of one thing; the side of him she liked best was this one. The one this four walls knew so well. The one reserved for Mags only.
Between these four walls he wasn't "Finnick Odair, the playboy". He was just Finnick. She could marvel on and on about how different those two were. One could see it, if given the chance, by the way his shoulders were down in a relaxed manner and how freely he laughed without having cameras around to worry about. The camera smile, although charming, carried an invisible weight of something Alivia couldn't quite place.
She was almost sad dinner was over. Even as Finnick started picking up the plates, she let herself imagine that this was how their lives were day to day. Even if it hurt a little more to hold on that thought for a little longer.
"I'll help," Alivia offered.
"No, that's fine. I got it."
Alivia stared at Finnick until he disappeared through the kitchen and turned around to find Mags staring back at her. She wiggled her eyebrows teasingly. "Stop it," she muttered shyly.
"Was he nice to you?"
"Yes, he is very nice. I still hope that you'll join us."
"Oh, no. Sorry, too busy."
Alivia looked at her displeased. "You are definitely doing it on purpose."
There was no need for an answer, Mags' grin was shameless. Even so, whatever she thought was going to happen between her and Finnick lived only in her imagination.
A couple more words and about three yawns in from Mags, Alivia decided it was time to leave. "Alright. I'm heading out. Goodbye Mags, have a good night."
"You know you can always stay," Mags offered but she declined politely.
"I have to change out of this dirty clothes. But I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Have a good rest, goodbye."
Mags nodded reluctantly. Huffing. Alivia peeked at the kitchen, watching how Finnick hummed as he washed the dishes.
"I'm heading out," she announced.
"Oh, I'll walk you home. I have to get some stuff from my house anyway," Finnick said as he dried his hands on a towel. "I'll be right back Mags," Finnick announced before they headed out.
"Nice work today, huh?"
"Yeah, haven't trained like that in years."
Which was half a lie, Alivia wasn't sure she ever trained like that before. Defense was something she was very familiar with, offense not so much.
"See you tomorrow for breakfast?"
"Sure. Good night."
A half hug surprised Alivia where she stood, Finnick had been way to excited to hold it in. He had hope, he really thought they could make it, just from what they did today. He left just as fast, with a wink and a cheeky grin in the middle of the night.
It was odd how out of nowhere Finnick acted like they were friends. Like yesterday had not been the first time they ever said more than ten words at a time to each other. It should not come as a surprise to Alivia. Finnick was willing to do anything to keep Mags safe. It's fine, she told herself. At the end of the day, they wanted the same thing.
It all worked out for everyone, if Alivia ignored what was going to happen in a couple days and let's not forget about her feelings. On second thought, yeah, it was better if she forgot about those.
She sighed heavily. It was for the best. This was what she wanted.