A/N: Okay so this takes place a few months after the last chapter you just read. I'm so incredibly excited for this... Buckle up, because it's going to be a mf wild ride.
THEO'S POV:
I close my journal with a sigh, wishing I could channel my lyrics like I do my playing.. It's not easy for me. It's not easy to focus in on words all at once, and put them in a place for them to make sense. I don't get it and I don't try to, not unless I feel truly inspired and the worst part is that.. Well that's all I've been feeling lately. I text uncle E, and see if she's going to be there today. He sends a thumbs up in response, and I roll my eyes at the emoji, but find myself laughing, knowing it's just like him.
Uncle Easton is the reason I even met her.. He produces, and I intern with him, and my parents know, they know I've been learning the art of producing, and all the software, and everything having to do with it as well as playing for artists that need it. I'm starting to make a name for myself in the studio as a musician, but I really like producing. I like making tracks all by myself when no one is around to hear them. I've even tried to talk to Violet about maybe letting me produce something for her...
I love my parents, but Violet is really the only person I trust to write with.. She's the only person I feel completely calm around when I'm writing but I'm not writing for me. I write for her, and I help her when she's home.. Which isn't often. She'll be eighteen next week and that thought scares me, and it should scare mom and dad too, but I don't think they're aware, and Vi would kill me if I spoke anything of Alex to them, so I'm just going to leave it alone, and think of her.
I met her at the studio.. I didn't mean to meet her. I didn't even try to. I was supposed to be meeting Uncle Easton in the studio, and I walked in early to find her there.. She wore a yellow dress that day and it popped against her brown skin. Her hair was short, and black and curled into soft waves. Just from the back she looked like something you'd find in one of those movies, the ones you imagine yourself in... She was playing something that sounded like a dream, and I think just the sound was enchanting.
FLASHBACK:
"Oh... Hi, how are you?" She turns around on the piano bench and stands up. Her face.. I..
"I'm Easton.. I mean, I'm not.. No I'm Theo, not Easton." I hold my messenger bag on my shoulder, knowing my cheeks are slightly growing more red.
"Are you sure about that?" She laughs, and her lips part. She painted them pink, it's a dark pink, and it looks beautiful on her.. She's beautiful.
"I'm. Yeah I'm sure. I'm Theo, I'm me.. I'm meeting my. Someone named Easton here." I tell her, sounding like an idiot all at once. I don't understand why I'm acting this way, I'm a grown man. I'm an adult. I know how to formulate sentences and words, I really do I just.. Can't.
"Well Theo, I'm incredibly sorry I'm taking up space in you and your friend's studio. I should leave shouldn't I?" She laughs, and her features are mesmerizing. I truly can't take my eyes away mostly because I've never seen someone so beautiful in my entire life and I really do mean that. Her lips are full, and beautiful, her skin looks soft, and it stands out against the color yellow she wears. I hope she wears this color a lot.. I hope she wears it all the time because it looks so beautiful on her.. "Theo... That is your name?" She brings me back, and I nod.
"Yes, Theo, that's me." I nod again.
"Sorry, you just didn't answer. I thought I messed it up again." She smiles again, holding her back now on her shoulder. She holds a large journal in her hands, and it presses right to her chest.
"I was, lost in thought I'm sorry..." I shake my head, snapping my head out of it.
"It's okay... You're cute Theo, and I hope you and your friend have fun today.. I'll be going though." She gives me a wink, and starts to walk by me, and right away I consider fainting as an option but know that wouldn't go over well. I know my cheeks are red, and I know she most likely caught that but she has to be used to this, I know she does considering... Wait.
"Wait!" I call out, and she turns, standing in the doorway of the studio. "I never caught your name..." I speak out, knowing I at least deserve to know that. She smiles to herself, and lets out a soft laughter.
"Eloise." She answers, and looks me up and down once with the same mischievous grin found present against her lips.
"Eloise." I repeat after she's gone.. At least I have the name of the girl who's going to consume my mind from here on out..
END FLASHBACK
That was a few months again... That was the day I met her and I swear the song I've Just Seen A Face by The Beatles plays in my head everytime I watch her leave... I worked with uncle E for a few weeks before I saw her again, and she was actually coming in to work with him.. She came in and was just as surprised to see me as I was to see her, and we started helping her then.. We don't really help her much in the studio... We've only done it a few times, but she's here all the time.. I just want to know her better. I don't know how though.
I walk down the stairs, and Violet is sitting at the piano, Alex sitting next to her, and they're not talking, they're not writing. He's basically mauling her in front of me. I cough, and scratch the back of my head, looking away as the two of them make out.
"Sorry Toe." She speaks, and I roll my eyes at the nickname. It sucks. It's annoying, but it's wholeheartedly, and one hundred percent my sister.
"Yeah whatever. Mom and dad will be home soon so maybe clean up the trash before they get here." I nod my head, and Alex stands up, and I don't flinch for a second. He's all bark and no bite.
"Don't be an asshole. We were leaving anyway. What are you doing?" She asks as she stands up. Her jewelry is loud, clanking together as it falls on her wrists. She never wears dark makeup, never in her life have I seen her with very much on unless it was a special occasion but she's always wearing dark clothes now.. She likes to match him. "Lex meet me outside?" She asks her boyfriend. He glares at me, and I watch as he moves his hand down towards her lower half, squeezing her before he walks away. He bumps my shoulder as he passes me, and leaves, and as soon as I hear the door
"Seriously Vi? Really?" I ask, and she rolls her eyes, throwing her bag on her shoulder.
"What? Don't be a fucking loser. Older brothers are supposed to be a lot more fun than this!" She jumps up, and messes up my hair.
"Vi, you've just changed a lot in the past few months okay? You met this guy what, less than a year ago right? Mom and dad still haven't met him, and you're sneaking him around their house... What's going on?" I ask, shaking my head.
"Mom and dad aren't going to meet him until I know they won't judge him like you do... He's not that bad." She defends.
"He is that bad. He's awful, and I don't want him around you, or around here unless mom and dad are home." I tell her, and she knows I don't set boundaries like this often. She knows I'm more than serious.
"Oh my god you're so boring. Don't worry about it, Toe. We'll be out of your hair by next week." She walks past me, and I whip around with her. She's got pink in the ends of her hair.. I don't think I've ever noticed that she put pink in her hair.
"What is that supposed to mean Vi?" I ask, and she shrugs.
"Don't worry about it. I'll be home later. Will you?"
"I'm hanging out with Dani before I come home... Why don't you leave your loser boyfriend for five minutes to hangout with me and your old best friend?" I ask, remembering how much she used to be around Dani.. That is, until she met Alex.
"See ya! I love you!" She blows me a kiss, and runs out the front door. I sigh, and look up, knowing that there's nothing even a higher being could do at this point. I'm not her parent, but mom and dad have tried their best, and she seems to not be listening... I truly don't get it either.. I don't understand how this happened, or why it's happening.. I don't understand why she doesn't get along with mom. I don't understand how either considering our mom is probably the most understanding, calm person I've ever met... I've never in my life heard her yell, not once, not even when Violet is being a brat.
I grab my keys, deciding that I'll deal with this later, and I start towards my car. It's a jeep. I wanted something smaller, but both of my parents insisted on something bigger for both of us. I got this, and Violet got a Bronco just like mom. So I climb into the car, and I put my bag in the passenger seat, and I leave. Driving has always been my least favorite task but only at certain times.. Only when I really want to be somewhere do I truly hate driving. I want to be at the studio now because I know Eloise will be there today. I ask uncle E everyday, and normally he says no, or that he isn't sure, but today he said yes, and now I know today is going to be a good day.
I pull up to the studio that E works at, and I get out, and go in, not wasting anytime at my car, or contemplating what could go wrong because if I were to do that, the answer would be everything.
"Hey uncl-"
"Hey I've got to go." He claps my on the shoulder, and starts towards the door, and I physically feel my heart drop.
"What do you mean? Why are you leaving? What's going on, did you tell Eloise, did you-"
"No, I just have specific instructions from your Aunt that if I don't leave you alone in here with her that I will be sleeping on the couch for a week, and I don't take her threats lightly.. She scares me sometimes." He tells me, standing at the door.
"Aunt Sandy can't do that, come on, I need you here, you know what you're doing I-"
"You know everything just as good as I do.. You're just like your mom, you're literally good at everything... You haven't needed my help for atleast the last month.. But you can always call me too, and anyways I have some other things I need to catch up on, I'll only be down the hall alright?" He asks, trying to make my feel better, but the panic has already set in.
"No, you can't do this. I'm your student, you're my teacher, I-"
"Sorry bud, you've got this.. You don't need your teacher anymore, and I know you're only making excuses because you don't know what to say to her.. Just talk, you've been waiting a month to see her again, use your words." He raises his eyebrows at me, and I groan.
"Uncle E, what if I-"
"Hi Easton." I hear her voice and traffic noise from outside. She just walking into the hallway. She's here, I'm sweating. I'm sweating so bad, what if I smell, what the fuck am I supposed to say.
"Hello Eloise.. I actually have to step out today, but Theo has you covered alright?" He asks, and she walks through the door, coming into my eyesight. I smile now, raising my eyebrows, trying my best not to pee myself.
"Yay! I trust you, so don't mess it up alright?" She points a finger at me and I nod as she walks past me, and into the space.
"I'll try." I nod my head, and look back to Easton, shooting him a glare. He shrugs, and winks then walks out the door, and I try once again to mentally calm myself so I don't royally fuck this up.
"You'll try, well you don't sound too confident in that now do you?" She asks, and I look as she sets her things down. I take her in full this time, and see her outfit. She's wearing a patterned skirt with a slit that reaches to the top half of her thigh. The length goes down to her calf. She wears dr marten boots, and white socks that peek over the top. Her shirt is tight to her body, and showing a small portion of skin on her stomach, but all of her arms. I notice the tattoos on her arms once again. They're scattered, and she only has a few, but they suit her well.
"I'm.. Well I don't think I am, but I. I didn't mean to say that... I.. Hey El.. Not El, I meant Eloise." I shake my head and instantly regret waking up today.
"You can call me El... Most people call me Lo, or Lolo... But you can call me El." She smiles towards me with closed lips, and I know my cheeks are red. I look down, fumbling as I take some things out of my bag. I take a deep breath as she turns away, and try my hardest to calm down. If I don't act cool she won't think I'm cool, and if I can't be cool, then she won't want to work with me...
"So... El, what did you want to work on today?" I ask, trying to keep it more professional.
"Well Theo, I think it's time for me to finish the single... You know the one?" She asks me, and I pause.
"I... Well.. I don't think you ever titled it, how does it go again?" I ask her, and she smiles, walking around towards the instruments in the room.
"We mapped it out, we never actually planned it, and I haven't completely finished writing it yet... It's this one." She reaches for a guitar, and sits on one of the stools. I stay seated behind the soundboard, and she sits in front, the lights bright.
"Delayed Gratification... You say you want me, you say you don't want me. You say you want me, you say you don't want me." She sings out, and the rasp in her voice gives me chills. I nod, remembering the beginning of the song, but we just touched on it, never recorded any of it.
"Sing it all for me..." I tell her, and she looks up at me with her eyes rounding out, like she's suddenly nervous, and for some reason the thought of her feeling some kind of nerve eases me... She's nervous too. I can feel normal.. "What as if you haven't sang in front of me before... " I joke, and she smiles at me as I laugh, looking down at the board. "Hold on.. Just one second." I tell her, trying to grow my confidence in the span of the few minutes I've been around her... I can impress her, that's one way to do this. Impress the pretty girl so she doesn't think you're a complete idiot.
"Holding." She jokes, and I get some equipment set up. I move two mics with me as I move to her. I leave one mic and stand to the side, and bring the other forward, standing over her as she sits on the stool. I start adjusting, trying to stop myself from breathing so I don't smell her perfume... I can't find addiction in a smell that's so scarce to me. I place the mic right in front of her lips, and then I move away, taking a breath, and go back, crouching down to get the guitar. I adjust and set it, and she smiles as I stand up. My hair falls in my face as I look at her and give her a thumbs up.
"Let me start, and we can go ahead alright?" I ask.
"This is just a test run right?" She asks me.
"Well yeah, but even test runs can be gold.. Uncle E told me about how my mom when she.. Well they just all tell me that.. My mom, my dad, Easton. They tell me that it's always good to record, and play with practice runs because it's easy... It can be easy to strike gold that way." I explain, trying to keep mom and dad out of this...
"Hmm.. Well I guess your mom, and dad... and Easton are pretty smart then.. I'm ready when you are." She smiles.
"Alright I'm going to play around with some beats and stuff.. I've got the keyboard up here so no matter what I do just.. Just keep going." I nod to her, and turn the recording on as well as all of my equipment. The drum pad, the keys, the soundboard, and everything else. I turn and give her a thumbs up.
*PLAY DELAYED GRATIFICATION BY LPX*
"It's hard to explain when you're lost in a maze, and you're sure you don't know the way out." I push on chords that match her playing as well as her voice, and I notice her eyes on me, but I try my best to stay focused on the music.
"I always return with a hand that's been burned and a riddle that's riddled with doubt." She sings, and I add on with another note, and change the instrument sound on the keyboard, bringing in a more technical sound.
"Will I ever prove that I'm living to choose a life where I leave a sound. Will I ever prove I'm living to choose a life where I leave a sound.." She pauses for a few seconds to take a breath, and she looks up at me. I roll my chair over to the drum pad. She gives me a nod, and we both go in. I let the drums go, and pad them out, feeling my face turn up into a giant smile.
"Delayed Gratification. You say you want me, You say you don't want me. You say you want me, you say you don't want me. I'm not, naturally patient... I'm sick of waiting, always waiting for free. It's always weighing, weighing on me." I draw back with her voice, and she goes into the next verse.
"It's looking to shoot but your veins have come loose... When you're craving your fix your ache." I tap on the keys, nodding my head silently, and I listen to my own noise as well as her beauty.
"It's hustling a game no one came to play, so you spent your life playing with doubt.." She starts over again after that with the pre chorus, and chorus, and I nod, revamping the same drum pattern I did before, and listening to myself as I do. She's got herself handled, I on the other hand, cannot fuck this up. I keep going, and she stops. I look up, and remember her saying that she hadn't completely finished yet. I pause the recording, and she sets the guitar down.
"That was... I really liked that. It was good." I nod, trying to play it cool despite the fact that I've really never done anything like that in front of anyone, not even Easton.
"Good? That was fucking incredible Theo! I had no idea you were this good at all of this stuff.. Do you.. I mean do you play anything?" She asks.
"Everything.." I add, and she raises her eyebrows. "I'm not.. I'm okay at it all.. Piano is my favorite, it's what I'm best at but I just.. I play, and I just now.. Well I just started the producing side of things, and this doesn't matter. We're here for you not me." I ramble on, and shake my head.
"Well that was really good.." She smiles to herself, and I tell myself to stop with the blushing, but I can feel warmth in my cheeks so I already know.
"Thank you.. Um, I can put my headphones on, and see if there's anything in there we want to keep. I'll go through, and add some stuff, and start actually making a track with the vocals first while you try to write some more?" I ask, and she sighs.
"Why don't you help me write it.. You play everything you must sing too, am I right?" She asks, and I drop my journal, and pick it up quickly.
"I don't.. I mean not.. I don't write I mean.. I mean music yes, but lyrics I don't write those. I don't sing, I can't.. I mean I just.. Yeah." I shake my head, once again embarrassing myself.
"I don't believe that for a second." She thins her eyes, calling me out on my lie, and I sigh.
"I don't know how to write lyrics.. I'm.. If you can't tell I'm not very good with words.." I scratch the back of my head, and she tilts hers.
"I think you really could be music man... Come down here, and help me." She smiles, and I think of my options. Tell the prettiest girl you've ever in your life seen no because you're scared... Or say yes, and help her, and also gain a single chance at possibly becoming closer to her.
"I'm really not that good.. I don't.. I just never know what to say." I speak truthfully, walking down the stairs, and around the booth to where she is. I pull up a stool, and she smiles.
"Okay, well what are your thoughts then?" She asks, and I tilt my head in question. "The lyrics already... How do you feel about them? What do they mean when you hear them?" She asks me, and I pause.
"Um... It seems like a lot of push and pull. You're confused, it's not.. Not a good feeling for most people, but it seems like for you that you're kind of just flowing with that feeling to see where it leads you... Like you want it but you partially feel like you wont get it despite your wants..." I try to make my words make sense, and she sighs.
"I'm not good with words." She mimics and I smile, and look down, looking at my painted nails. The color is chipped, but I ignore it, closing them within one another, feeling my rings against my fingers, twisting them as I look back up towards her.
"Where do you want to go with it?" I ask, and she shrugs, shaking her head.
"Well there's repetition in the song because that's how I feel.. Like I have to repeat myself about a hundred times for anyone to hear... As for my feelings, and what you described you're actually correct... I feel seen." She jokes, and I laugh.
"Um.. Have you ever thought that maybe you're feeling that way because it's the wrong place, wrong time?" I ask, and she lifts her eyebrows.
"I like where we're going with this... Okay.. I can start again. I want to try something." She situates herself on the stool once more, and I start recording once again. My words obviously had sparked something sure because she finished her song out. She likes my addition and that's what she called it despite the fact that I didn't really do anything.. We re recorded a few of the parts as well, some of the main vocals.
"Okay so now we can do some of the ad libs, and after we'll get the background harmonies, and melodies down okay?" I ask, situating my stuff. She checks her phone again, and again, looking down, and eventually becoming completely quiet as she sits there, not replying to anything I say. I take it as my cue to stop talking to her for now.
"So we can start on the second-"
"Hey, I hate to leave a few minutes early, but I've.. It's really important and I have to leave." She shakes her head, grabbing her things. I notice now that she doesn't have her own guitar, just her bag, her keys, her phone.. But no guitar.
"No it's fine.. Do whatever you need to do." I nod, and give her a smile, wanting to see hers again. She doesn't smile though, she just looks down to her phone that has a call on the screen. She declines it, and starts walking towards the door.
"Eloise..." I call out towards her, and she stops, looking back at me. Calling her name brought her out of her head, barely but somewhat. "Will I see you again sooner than a month?" I ask, and she shakes her head, and then shrugs.
"I don't.. I don't know.. I'm not sure when I'll be able to come back." She speaks quietly, like she's disappointed in her own words.
"Why only once a month?" I ask, and she hesitates.
"It's really complicated Theo.... But thank you for today.. I'll see you soon." She speaks towards me, and pauses to look one second before she walks out the door. I'm not sure why she's so comfortable around me right away... Technically I work for her.. Maybe that's what it is, or maybe she's just an easy going person like that... Either way I wish I had an answer as to when I could see her again, and I wish it was sooner rather than later.
I work on Eloise's track for a little bit longer, and then I save all my work, and pack my things back in my bag. I head out, and get in my car, not seeing Easton before I leave, but knowing I'll be seeing him later on this week. I set my things down, and start my car, driving to see Dani. Dani is uncle Mitch, and Aunt Sarah's daughter.. They're technically not blood related to me, but we all pretend they are.. So Dani is my cousin. She was best friends with Violet growing up, which concludes she'll be close with me considering we were constantly always together. I kept our friendship going.. Vi on the other hand, she's more focused on Alex.. I pull in, and go to the front door, not knocking as I walk in.
"Dani?" I call out.
"In here!" She yells, and I walk in, my hands in my pockets.
"Hey dipshit." She hangs herself upside down over the couch as she looks at me. Her hair is too short to touch the floor, but it hangs with her.
"What a sweet welcome." I shake my head.
"Hey little shit." Mitch walks in and I turn my head over my shoulder to see him.
"Don't call him that!" Sarah yells from the dining room I assume, and I laugh.
"Hey uncle Mitch.." I wave to him. "Hey aunt Sarah!" I yell into the other room.
"It's father mitch to you." He points to me, and I feel a hand pull me in another direction.
"Stop being a weird dad" She scoffs, and pulls me away. "We'll be upstairs, we have girl stuff to talk about." She tells me, and her hair is completely ruffled now.
"Are you staying for dinner little shit?" Mitch asks me, and I open my mouth to say no but-
"MITCH!" Sarah yells, and I'm too far up the stairs now so I just leave it alone. Dani pulls me into her room, and slams the door, running and jumping with her arms wide open onto her bed.
"You said girl stuff.. Is everything alright with Gia?" I ask, referring to her girlfriend. They've only been together for a few months now, but either way she seems to be completely head over heels for her, and Gia just the same.
"Not me girl, you girl." She pats her bed, and I walk over, and sit down, leaning back and laying down but keeping my feet on the ground still.
"But I'm not-"
"Yes I'm aware you're not physically a girl, but you are a pussy so I call our talks 'girl stuff.' So spill the mother fucking tea." She claps her hands, and I shake my head.
"Nothing to spill, what do you mean?" I ask.
"I mean the fact that you're so deeply in love with this girl, and you won't even tell me her name. Stop playing dumb.. Tell me the girls name." She raises her eyebrows, and I know now I better get to explaining because when Dani wants an answer, Dani gets it.
———————————————
Song: Delayed Gratification by LPX.
OKAYYYYY SOOOO!!!
We met some new characters, and things have obviously changed over the last four months with violet...
I LOVE DANI, SHE'S MITCH BUT GIRL FORM PLS.
THERES STILL MORE CHAPTERS BESTIES!!!
*virtual hugs*