"Are you ready?" Calum asked, reaching over and tapping Luke on the shoulder.
"No." Luke whispered back, shaking his head.
It was two months later and they were currently at their graduation ceremony. Luke was beyond nervous, his knee was bouncing up and down the whole time and he wasn't even paying attention to the people going up to get their diplomas.
Luke and Calum were conveniently sitting right next to each other because of their last names and that made Luke feel a little better. He liked having his best friend right there with him, it was comforting.
"You're gonna be fine." Calum assured Luke, patting him on the back again.
"I just don't want to go up there in front of all those people." Luke mumbled, looking down at his lap. The ceremony had just started and they were only on the B's, so Luke had time before he had to stand up.
"It's okay, dude, you're only going to be up there for a few seconds and then it'll be all over." Calum whispered, leaning closer to Luke.
"Everyone's going to be staring at me." Luke whispered back, shaking his head slowly.
"Yeah, that's kind of the point." Calum scoffed. "You're graduating high school and getting your diploma and the reason why we have these ceremonies is so you can be recognized for that, you did a good job and people are celebrating - "
"Just shut up, Calum." Luke cut him off, trying not to laugh at his friend.
Someone sitting in the row in front of them turned around and glared, probably annoyed that Calum and Luke kept talking.
"Turn around." Calum snapped, rolling his eyes at the girl that was glaring at them. "Anyway, Luke, you're going to be okay. You've never been nervous about getting up in front of people before, why are you so scared now?"
"I don't know... Things just seem kind of different now." Luke trailed off, not knowing why exactly he felt so scared.
He decided earlier that morning that he was just nervous because he was actually growing up. This was it, soon after graduation Luke would be going to college and maybe moving out and just being an adult. He was terrified, he'd never had to be on his own before.
"You were able to run around naked in front of an entire football stadium and you can't even get up and grab a diploma?" Calum questioned, seeming amazed with the fact that Luke couldn't do this.
"I was very, very, drunk at the time." Luke said, letting out a sigh.
"So get drunk." Calum suggested, as if it was just that simple.
"Calum!" Luke gasped. "I haven't had any alcohol for almost three months now, I'm not going to go and get drunk just for this!"
"Wow." Calum nodded slowly. "Those therapy seasons really changed you."
"That's kind of the point of them, I think." Luke shrugged.
He'd been going to see a therapist a few times a week for the last couple months, and Luke thought that they were really helping him. When Luke was upset he didn't go and get drunk to try and forget about his problems, he found other ways to make himself feel better.
"Are they at least helping?" Calum asked quietly, looking at the stage. They were onto the C's now and Calum and Luke both wanted to see Michael go up and get his diploma.
"Yes, a lot." Luke nodded quickly. They were helping, Luke felt so much better about himself than a few months before, he really felt good.
"Michael Clifford." The teacher that was assigned to read the names off said into the microphone, and Michael shot out of his seat.
He gave some people high fives as he walked down the aisle and onto the stage. Michael got up there and took the diploma from the principal, smiling and posing for pictures. Once he shook everyone's hands Michael pushed his way to the microphone, despite the teachers trying to stop him.
"I did it!" Michael yelled as he was being pushed off of the stage. "I graduated! I made it, I'm not a total failure! Fuck you - "
Once they got Michael off the stage and back to his seat they continued on with the rest of the ceremony, reading off the names in alphabetical order.
"Did you see Ashley earlier?" Calum whispered once everyone had calmed down from the commotion that Michael caused.
"Yeah." Luke nodded. He saw Ashley earlier that day, she was getting out of Michael's car with him while Luke was getting out of his mom's car.
"She looks good." Calum said, biting down on his bottom lip. Luke gave Calum a confused look, since he knew that Calum usually didn't even look at girls unless it was Amy, his own girlfriend.
"I-I guess she does." Luke shrugged. He turned around and looked a few rows back, where Ashley was sitting with the rest of the M's. Luke made eye contact with her and gave Ashley a small wave, which she returned and then smiled back at him.
"Have you guys talked much lately?" Calum asked quietly, trying not to make too much noise so that girl didn't turn around and glare at them again.
"Oh, yeah." Luke nodded. "She gives me rides to and from school every day and sometimes she'll come over for dinner. It's like exactly the same as when we started dating but, like, way better."
"Has she told you about, you know...?" Calum trailed off, like he wasn't sure if he should finish that sentence or not.
"Yeah, she has." Luke nodded, knowing what Calum was getting to.
Ashley was going to a college that was all the way across the country, while Luke was staying closer to home so he could save some money. Michael was also coincidentally going to a college near Ashley's, so they were probably going to be spending even more time with each other.
Luke didn't exactly mind, though, he knew that Ashley was very happy with how her life was turning out and Luke was pretty happy with his.
"Are you pissed at Michael for it?" Calum questioned. All four of them hadn't gotten together in a few weeks and even though they weren't fighting anymore things were still kind awkward.
"Kind of." Luke shrugged. "He knows that I still like Ashley but I don't think he cares, he likes her too and she obviously has something going on with him."
"I'm sorry." Calum whispered and patted Luke on the back again, even though his pats on the back weren't even that comforting and didn't make Luke feel much better.
"It's fine, it's really no big deal." Luke shrugged. He didn't care that Ashley and Michael had something going on now, Luke was pretty sure that because of Michael's previous reputation this wasn't going to last long anyway.
"He stole your girlfriend, it kind of - "
"I honestly don't care, Calum, just stop talking about it." Luke snapped, interrupting him. He was tired of Calum always bringing this up, Luke said he was fine and he was going to remain fine unless anything drastic happened. Calum seemed like he was trying to make Luke upset.
"So are you gonna be alright?" Calum asked, a little startled by Luke snapping at him. "You know, with Ashley moving away and everything?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine." Luke nodded. He didn't see why it was a big deal that Ashley was leaving, they were still going to stay in touch and everything, it was going to be okay.
"Cool." Calum said softly. "Did I tell you? Amy and I are moving in together at the end of the month."
"Oh, nice." Luke nodded again. "You're both going to the same college?"
"Yeah." Calum said, a big smile spreading onto his face. He really did love his girlfriend and Luke was happy that they got back together.
"That's really great, I'm happy for you guys." Luke said, and he really meant it. "You really love each other."
"Yeah, we do." Calum continued to smile and then turned around to try and find his girlfriend in one of the rows behind them. He finally spotted her and gave her a big wave. "Like, I think she's the one, dude."
"Calum, you're only 18." Luke scoffed, because even he knew that most high school relationships didn't last forever.
"Yeah, I know." Calum whispered, rolling his eyes. "But I just love her so much, I can't picture my life without her, you know?"
"I guess." Luke shrugged. He really didn't know, he didn't have anyone in his life like that.
"I want to, like, start a family with her. I don't know, but sometimes I just close my eyes and think about our future and I can't imagine me growing up and having kids with anyone else." Calum said, unable to wipe the smile off of his face.
"That's nice, Calum." Luke sighed. "But you're only 18, things can change."
"I know, but I don't want them to change." Calum said quietly. "And don't worry, Luke, you'll find someone eventually."
"Yeah, I'm sure I will." Luke shrugged, not knowing why Calum had to bring that up. Luke had already said probably a million times that he was alright just being by himself, he didn't need a girl in his life.
"Amy probably knows someone that she can set you up with, if you want - "
"I don't want to be set up with someone." Luke whispered, cutting Calum off again.
"I mean, I was just offering." Calum shrugged, bringing his voice down once more. "Let me know if you change your mind."
"Okay, Calum, I will." Luke let out another sigh, wishing that Calum would just stop talking.
"We should pay attention now, shouldn't we?" Calum asked, laughing to himself again.
"Yeah." Luke nodded.
So Calum and Luke finally shut up for a while and sat there silently while more names were called off. Luke didn't even know half of the people going up there, he'd only made a few good friends during high school and it surprised him that there were a lot of people in his grade that Luke had never seen before.
Finally they called Luke's name and he stood up, no longer feeling nervous about being in front of so many people. Luke walked up to the stage and took his diploma from the principal, doing everything he was supposed to. Thankfully Luke didn't trip and fall on his face.
After the graduation ceremony was over everyone left the auditorium and went outside to go meet up with their families and friends and take pictures or whatever. Luke was following mindlessly behind Calum and now Amy, not knowing where else he was supposed to go.
"Hey, we're gonna go find Ashton, I know he's around here somewhere." Calum said, grabbing his girlfriend's hand and pulling her away from Luke.
"Oh." Luke said and looked around quickly, realizing that he was all alone and didn't know where anyone was. He didn't even know where his mom was.
He knew that Michael was around here somewhere, probably with his parents, and Ashley was most likely with her other friends. Calum had just left and now Luke was on his own and probably looked like a huge dork.
"Hey, Luke." Someone said, coming up behind him. He quickly turned around, startled by whoever it was.
"Oh, hi Mr. Walker." Luke said, realizing who was talking to him.
"How are you doing? We haven't talked in a while." Mr. Walker asked, leaning up against the wall behind Luke.
"I'm fine." Luke shrugged. He walked backwards and rested his body against the wall next to Mr. Walker, figuring that he could at least talk to him for the time being. "I graduated, so...that's cool."
"Yeah, it is." Mr. Walker nodded. "I'm really proud of you, Luke."
"Thanks." Luke said and then he had to stop himself from blushing. It was just because he wasn't used to people saying that they were proud of him, and it meant a lot to Luke when it came from someone that he admired like Mr. Walker.
"What's next, then? College?" Mr. Walker questioned.
"Yeah, that's the plan." Luke nodded.
"Do you know what you're majoring in yet?" Mr. Walker asked. Luke had come in and talked to Mr. Walker about college, but it was mostly when Luke was trying to decide where he wanted to go.
"Not yet." Luke said, shaking his head. "I think I'll just go in as undecided for now."
"That's what I did, too. It's not a big deal, you'll find something eventually." Mr. Walker shrugged. "I figured it out in my second year."
"Yeah, I'm not too worried about it." Luke said softly. "I'm sure I'll find something."
"You're still going to be living at home, right?" Mr. Walker asked. Luke felt kind of awkward, he'd never really spoken with Mr. Walker outside of his office, it was weird talking to him here.
"Uh huh." Luke said, even though he was pretty sure he'd talked about this to Mr. Walker before. Maybe he was just trying to make conversation. "The school's only a 25 minute train ride away from my house, so I don't see a point in moving out just yet, you know?"
"Yeah, that's smart, Luke." Mr. Walker nodded. "You'll save some money and you won't have to worry about having to be all on your own just yet."
"Exactly." Luke said, nodding as well.
"So, uh, where are your friends?" Mr. Walker asked after a long pause, glancing around the room.
"They're around, I don't know." Luke shrugged. He could see Michael's hair from across the room and Luke thought that he heard Ashton's voice a couple minutes before, but he didn't care enough to go talk to them.
"Are you guys all okay now? You talked to them, right?" Mr. Walker questioned.
Luke had stopped by his office a few times in the last couple months to update Mr. Walker on what was going on. He knew about Luke being in the hospital and what was going on with all of his friends. Mr. Walker was a good listener, he sat and let Luke ramble on for hours without interrupting.
"Yeah, I guess we're all friends again." Luke nodded. "It's kind of weird though with Michael and Ashley, but, you know..."
"I'm sure everything's going to be fine." Mr. Walker said, giving Luke a comforting pat on the shoulder. "Just give them some more time, everything will go back to normal before you know it."
"I hope so." Luke sighed, and then they fell into a comfortable silence again.
"Listen, Luke." Mr. Walker finally spoke, breaking the silence. "I know that you've graduated now and you don't officially go to this school anymore but I just want you to know that you can still talk to me if you need to because I know that you don't have many other older male figures in your life so if you just - "
"Yeah, I get it." Luke said, giving Mr. Walker a chance to catch his breath.
"I'm not kidding, Luke. I know that you're staying at home for your first couple years of college so if you ever feel like you need to, you can totally come in and talk to me." Mr. Walker continued.
"I definitely will." Luke said, really meaning it. He liked talking to Mr. Walker and he had a feeling that even within the next year or so Luke would go back and talk to him. "Thanks, Mr. Walker."
"Here, give me your phone." Mr. Walker said, holding out his hand. Luke slowly pulled his phone out of his pocket, handing it to Mr. Walker. "I'll put my number in and you can call me whenever you need to, okay?"
"Okay." Luke nodded.
"Just promise that you'll actually call me eventually, okay?" Mr. Walker chuckled softly, handing the phone back to Luke. "I've done this with, like, two other students before and neither of them ever needed my help and I just felt dumb."
"I'll call you, I promise." Luke laughed. He liked Mr. Walker, Luke looked up to him as a friend or maybe even an older brother.
"Good." Mr. Walker said and let out a relieved sigh.
Luke changed the subject and for the next few minutes he and Mr. Walker talked about random things like what Luke had for breakfast that morning. Luke still didn't know where his mom was, but he assumed that she hadn't left yet so he was just going to wait.
"Hey, Luke..." Another voice said quietly, walking up next to him and Mr. Walker.
"Oh, hi Ashley!" Luke said quickly, turning and fixing his hair. He could swear that he heard Mr. Walker laughing behind him, but Luke tried to ignore it.
"Hi, how are you?" Ashley smiled, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.
"I'm good, I'm good." Luke nodded. He awkwardly pointed to the diploma that Ashley was holding in her hands. "Congratulations."
"You too." Ashley laughed awkwardly. "Are you doing anything to celebrate tonight?"
"No, I don't think so." Luke shrugged. He was planning on staying home with his mom and maybe watching a movie or something. It was lame, yeah, but Luke had nothing better to do.
"Well, I'm going out to dinner with Michael and his parents but maybe after that you can come over? We can just hang out and watch a movie or something." Ashley asked, biting down on her bottom lip.
"That'd be really great, yeah." Luke nodded, surprised that he wasn't at all bothered by the fact that Ashley and Michael were going out to dinner together.
"Okay, cool." Ashley said, smiling again. "I'll just text you, alright?"
"Yeah." Luke said, nervously shifting back and forth on his feet.
They stood there and stared awkwardly at each other for the next few seconds, neither one of them knowing exactly what they were supposed to say to each other.
"I'm gonna go around and talk to some other teachers for a while so I don't look like a loser who's friends with a 17 year old." Mr. Walker broke the silence, giving Luke one last pat on the back. "I'll see you later, Luke."
"Okay, bye Mr. Walker." Luke said, not even taking his eyes off of Ashley's.
After another long and uncomfortable silence Michael walked over and approached Luke and Ashley. He wrapped an arm around Ashley's waist, pulling her closer to him.
"Hey, Luke." Michael said, like he was just noticing that Luke was actually standing there.
"Hey." Luke said, trying not to be mad at Michael. He really had no reason to be, it just seemed like whenever Luke and Michael were around each other they ended up arguing.
"What's up?" Michael asked.
"Uh, nothing really." Luke said, shrugging again. "I kind of lost my mom, I'm just waiting for her to drive me home."
"I think she might be talking with my parents, I don't know, I saw her walking by me a few minutes ago." Michael said, looking around the room for a second.
"Oh, thanks." Luke said, also searching around the room for any sign of his mom. She had to be around there somewhere.
"Are you ready to get going?" Michael asked Ashley and gave her side a squeeze, making her let out a loud giggle.
"Yeah, sure." Ashley nodded, still giggling to herself. Michael moved his hand off of Ashley's waist and grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers together. "I'll see you later tonight, Luke."
"Yeah, see you." Luke said, giving her a small wave as Ashley and Michael began to walk away.
"We probably have time to go back to my house for a quickie if you want..." Michael mumbled in Ashley's ear, loud enough for Luke to still hear him.
Luke let out a sigh and leaned up against the wall again, not sure what he was supposed to do until his mom came back from talking to Mr. and Mrs. Clifford.
He took out his phone and messed around with it for a few minutes, deleting some stupid pictures to try and make space and looking through old text messages.
"Luke!" Someone yelled from across the room, and Luke knew exactly who it was before he even looked up.
"Hi Ashton." Luke mumbled, still staring down at his phone.
"Hey, congratulations." Ashton came forward and wrapped an arm around Luke's shoulders, pulling him away from the wall. Charlie was there too, and suddenly Luke just wanted to be alone again.
"Thanks." Luke said, giving his friends a small smile.
"Are you doing anything to celebrate tonight? Going to any fun parties? Breaking any laws?" Ashton questioned. He finally let go of Luke and walked over to Charlie again, wrapping his arm around her waist.
"I think I'm going over to Ashley's house." Luke shrugged.
"Oh, that's cool." Ashton nodded. "Charlie and I are going over to her parents house for a while, her graduation was last week so they're throwing a little party for her."
"That's nice." Luke said softly. "Congrats, Charlie."
"Thanks." Charlie spoke to Luke for the first time in months, barely looking up at him.
Luke knew that he should really try to fix things between him and Charlie. He didn't want things to go back to normal and he didn't even really want them to become friends again, Luke just wanted them to be able to stand in the same room with each other and not feel awkward.
"Uh, Ashton, do you mind if I steal Charlie away for a couple minutes?" Luke finally asked, deciding to be courageous for once.
"Yeah, sure." Ashton said, surprisingly letting Charlie go more easily than Luke had expected.
Luke loosely grabbed onto Charlie's wrist and pulled her back so they were a few feet away from Ashton, and he probably wouldn't be able to hear them.
"So, uh, I just wanted to apologize for everything." Luke said quietly, leaning down a little because Charlie was so tiny compared to him.
"It's fine, Luke, really - "
"I don't want things to be awkward." Luke cut her off. "I know we had sex but it didn't mean anything, and I know you and Ashton are back together now so it can't ever happen again."
"Yeah." Charlie nodded, letting Luke finish talking before she tried to say anything again.
"I hope that things can kind of return to normal." Luke said, letting out a big sigh. "You can go back to dating Ashton and not really giving a shit about me and I can go back to being that dorky friend that always third wheels on your dates."
"Okay... But that's not true, Luke." Charlie added quietly, looking down at her feet.
"What's not true?" Luke asked.
"That I don't give a shit about you." Charlie said, looking up at him. "I really do care about you, you're a great guy and good friend. We had sex, yeah, but that's over now. It was a mistake. It doesn't mean that we never have to talk to each other again."
"I just thought... You know, with Ashton, it might be weird..." Luke trailed off nervously, still scared that Ashton would get mad if this conversation between Luke and Charlie went on for too long.
"Ashton really doesn't care." Charlie shrugged casually, looking over her shoulder at her boyfriend. "We were broken up when it happened, it's not like I cheated or anything."
"Yeah, but, I don't know..." Luke let out a big sigh, not knowing what else he was supposed to say. "I just want us to forget that it ever happened, okay?"
"Yeah, we can do that." Charlie nodded, giving Luke a small smile. Then they silently decided that the conversation and walked back over to Ashton, who was just patiently waiting for them.
"Hi, is everything okay?" Ashton asked. He pulled Charlie into his arms, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead.
"Yep, everything's great." Luke nodded.
"Well, we should probably - Oh wait!" Ashton began, and then cut himself off. "Luke, did I tell you?"
"Tell me what?" Luke asked, because Ashton obviously hadn't told him anything. They hadn't talked much recently, Luke didn't see why Ashton expected him to know whatever he was talking about.
"Well, my dad has been getting a lot better recently so at the end of the summer I'm moving to Europe with Charlie!" Ashton said excitedly, squeezing Charlie's hand even tighter.
"Oh, wow." Luke said, a little taken off guard. "That's great, guys."
Luke was just a little disappointed. He was the only one of his friends that was staying in the area for college, the rest of them were all going out of the state or out of the country. He thought that Ashton was going to stay here, since his dad was so sick and all, and Luke was excited to have at least one friend around.
"It is, isn't it?" Ashton giggled. "I'm so excited."
"That's really cool." Luke said again, trying to be happy for them. "We'll have to hang out sometime before you guys leave, you know, so we can all say goodbye."
"Oh yeah, definitely." Ashton nodded. He tugged Charlie forward again, trying to get her moving. "We should really go, though, we'll talk to you later, Luke."
"Okay, bye." Luke nodded, waving to them as they began to make their way towards the door.
"I'm proud of you, dude." Ashton said as he walked past Luke, patting him on the back again. Luke wasn't really sure what Ashton was proud of him for, but hearing that he was felt really good.
After Ashton and Charlie left Luke had to wait for another 10 minutes before his mom finally found him and said that they could get going. Luke let out a sigh of relief, glad to finally be going home.
"Hey, Mom?" Luke asked quietly once they were in the car. Luke had been doing a lot of thinking lately and he finally wanted to talk to his mom about it, and he thought that now was a decent time to do so.
"Yes?" Liz asked, her eyes focused on the road ahead of her.
"Can you-Can you, um, can you call my father? Uh, Andy?" Luke asked nervously, playing around with the hem of his shirt to try and distract himself.
Luke didn't want to hate his father forever. He knew that what he did was really awful and he shouldn't be forgiven, but Luke was willing to try. He just wanted to take things slow and see where they ended up, and Luke knew that his mom would be there for him through all of it anyway.
"Well, what would you like me to say to him?" Liz questioned, seeming confused.
"I think I want him to be in my life." Luke mumbled, hoping that his mom would be able to hear him. "Not much, but, I don't know, maybe we could get together for lunch once a month?"
"Sure, honey, I guess we can set something like that up." Liz nodded, a smile spreading onto her face.
"I promise I won't yell at him or try to shove him again or cry." Luke assured her, hoping that he would actually be able to go through with his promise.
"Okay." Liz let out a small chuckle. "I can call him and see if we can arrange something. Maybe you'd like for him to just come over first so you can talk?"
"Yeah, I'd like that." Luke nodded.
His mom didn't say anything else in response so Luke turned up the radio, tapping his foot along to the beat of the song playing.
"You know, sweetie, I'm really proud of you." Liz said, turning the volume of the radio down again.
"Thanks, Mom." Luke said softly. He was still amazed that people were proud of him, that people actually cared. "I love you."
"I love you too." Liz smiled and then she turned the volume on the radio up again for Luke because she knew that it was one of his favorite songs. She'd heard him singing it in the shower.
Later that night Luke walked over to Ashley's house, even though he was kind of nervous about what might happen while he was there.
He texted her when he got there and Ashley responded back that the front door was open and Luke could come straight up to her room. Luke let himself into the Miller's house and took his shoes off, leaving them by the door.
Luke slowly walked up the stairs and gave Ashley's door a small knock before entering. He found her sitting down on the floor in front of her bed, a big pile of clothes spread out before her.
"Hey." Luke said, sitting down next to Ashley.
"Hi." Ashley looked up at Luke and smiled. "Sorry, I'm just trying to sort through some clothes that I want to give away before I move. I'll be done in a few minutes."
"That's fine, take your time." Luke said, crossing his legs over one another to get more comfortable. He didn't really mind just sitting there.
"So what's up? Anything new?" Ashley asked, taking a few shirts and throwing them into a separate pile that was a few feet away from them.
"Nothing really. I mean, nothing has changed since earlier today when we talked." Luke said, shrugging. "What about you? How was your dinner with Michael's parents?"
"It was kind of awkward, honestly." Ashley said, letting out a small laugh. She picked up her phone from where it was laying next to her, replying to a text message.
"Really?" Luke chuckled. "How?"
"I don't know, his parents just aren't really used to Michael having only 1 girl around all the time, he normally has a new girl over every weekend." Ashley explained, her cheeks heating up.
"Right." Luke nodded. "So, uh, are you and Michael dating now?"
"No, I don't think so." Ashley blushed again. "We've just been spending a lot of time together lately, we haven't really labeled it."
"But you're, like, a thing?" Luke asked.
He really didn't want to know all of the details. He didn't care if Ashley liked Michael now (he was kind of disappointed, because Michael was a huge jerk to Ashley when they dated the first time), Luke just thought that he would feel better if he knew what was actually going on.
"I don't know." Ashley shrugged.
"Well, I heard what he said to you today about going back to his house for a quickie..." Luke said quietly, just because it seemed like Ashley was trying to cover this all up. Luke didn't want her to try and spare his feelings, he just wanted the truth.
"I mean, sometimes we mess around..." Ashley said softly, looking down at her lap. Luke felt bad, he didn't want Ashley to feel bad about this. If she liked Michael then that was fine, Ashley could do whatever she wanted and she didn't need to worry about Luke's feelings. Sure, Luke still liked Ashley a lot, but as long as she was happy he would be okay.
"It's okay, I don't care." Luke shrugged. "I was just wondering. I kind of feel like you're dating and just keeping it a secret from me, but I don't want you to worry about that. If you want to date Michael then do it, I don't care."
"Really?" Ashley asked, raising her eyebrows.
"I mean I still like you so it fucking sucks that you have a thing with my best friend now but it's okay. If you're happy then I'm happy, right?" Luke blurted out, not even caring at this point.
Ashley leaned back so she was resting up against the foot of her bed. "You're too nice to me." She sighed.
"N-No I'm not." Luke said quickly, shaking his head. He was always the one telling Ashley that she was too nice, not the other way around.
"Yes you are, Luke. You should hate me, I was part of the whole scheme to get you to lose your virginity and that's just really not cool at all. I can't believe that you're willing to pretend that none of this ever happened." Ashley said quickly, almost like she didn't really want Luke to hear what she was saying.
"Well, I did some shitty things too. We both made mistakes, I thought that we could just forgive and forget." Luke shrugged, not knowing what else to say.
He didn't want him and Ashley to hate each other forever, he loved having her as a friend and Luke didn't know what he would do without her in his life. They both fucked up, so what? They could learn to move on, right?
"See." Ashley sighed again. "You're too nice."
"Sorry, I can try to stop if you want me to." Luke shrugged innocently, trying to ease up the tension between them.
"No, don't do that." Ashley laughed. She began to pick through the pile of clothes again, and Ashley stopped when she pulled out a very familiar shirt. She held it out to Luke. "Do you want this back?"
"No, you can keep it." Luke said, shaking his head, pushing the shirt back towards her.
"Are you sure?" Ashley asked, running her fingers over the design on the front of the shirt. "You told me once that it was one of your favorites."
"That's why I want you to keep it." Luke said, finally looking Ashley directly in the eyes. "Maybe you can take it to college with you and then you won't forget about me because every time you wear it you'll remember that I gave it to you."
"I would never forget about you, Luke, even if I didn't have this shirt to remind me." Ashley said quietly, reaching over and fixing a piece of Luke's hair like she always used to do.
"I don't want you to leave." Luke whispered, finally admitting it out loud.
This whole time he's been saying that he was happy for Ashley and he would be okay with her moving away, but really Luke wished that she would stay. He just didn't want to be alone, he felt like everyone was leaving him and Luke wasn't ready for that.
"I won't be gone forever." Ashley said softly, trying to reassure Luke. "And we can still stay friends, you know? We can text and call each other and Skype all the time."
"It'll still be different." Luke pouted. Of course Luke felt like he was about to start crying, he just couldn't go one day without crying over something. "I just don't want you to leave, I don't want to be alone."
"I know, I'm sorry Luke." Ashley sighed.
"I'm happy for you, I really am." Luke sniffed, wiping his nose with his hand. "I'm just scared to be alone. You're leaving and so is Michael and Charlie and Ashton are moving to Europe and Calum is moving in with his girlfriend. I'll just be here."
"We'll still visit. It's not like you're never going to see any of us again." Ashley said, scooting closer to Luke.
"I know." Luke said, sniffing again. He felt so pathetic, he thought he was over this crying about everything thing and now here he was again about to burst into tears about something as stupid as this. "And I know that I'm going to be okay on my own, I have to be, I just don't want to."
"You're not going to be completely alone." Ashley said, trying to comfort Luke. "You'll still be with your mom."
For some reason that only made Luke more upset, and he was crying even harder now. He hates himself for feeling this way, Luke's friends had treated him like shit for the last year and he still cried when he thought about them leaving.
"Jesus Christ, I'm such a baby." Luke whined, wiping his eyes again. "I was doing better, I wasn't crying about everything or panicking over dumb things."
"It's okay, Luke." Ashley whispered and held her arms out. She didn't need to say anything else for Luke to come forward and hug Ashley back. Luke buried his face in the crook of Ashley's neck and they just sat there silently for a few minutes.
"I'm just going to miss you, that's all." Luke finally said after a while, pulling away from Ashley.
"I'm going to miss you too." Ashley sniffed, her own eyes filling up with tears too.
"But I'm going to be okay, alright? I really am." Luke promised her, wiping his eyes again. "I can do this, I can be on my own, I don't need anyone to babysit me anymore.
"Are you sure?" Ashley asked quietly.
"Yes, I'm sure." Luke nodded, and he really hoped that he meant it. He was going to try as hard as he could to just live his life normally without his dumb friends messing things up anymore.
Luke was determined to finally be okay on his own. He didn't need a girlfriend or sex or friends that treated him badly, he just needed to be happy with himself. Maybe in a while, once he got his life together, Luke would date someone or make some new friends. But for now Luke wanted to focus on himself.
"Luke." Ashley whispered, rubbing her thumbs under Luke's cheeks to wipe away a few tears that had fallen. "I'm really proud of you."
"Really? For what?" Luke asked. He'd been told that people were proud of him all day and Luke didn't really know why, he hadn't done anything special.
"I don't know, a lot of things, I guess. You're just a lot different than how you were at the beginning of the year." Ashley said, giving Luke a small shrug. "I mean, you used to only care about losing your virginity and now you seem a lot more mature."
"I guess I finally learned my lesson." Luke said softly.
"Yeah, I guess you did." Ashley said, her thumbs still moving slowly back and forth over Luke's cheeks.
"Sex really isn't that special." Luke sighed. "It's tiring and I fell asleep right after it both times."
"You know, that's what I was trying to tell you this whole time." Ashley said and let out a small laugh.
"You never told me that I was going to fall asleep right after." Luke mumbled, cracking a small smile.
"I honestly didn't think I needed to." Ashley laughed again. "I thought that you would be able to figure that out for yourself."
"Well, I did." Luke chuckled.
"I know. I'm glad that you finally realized that sex isn't everything, Luke." Ashley said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Yeah, it took me a while but I figured it out." Luke laughed quietly to himself. "Sex is only cool when the person you're doing it with is cool too."
"Right." Ashley nodded.
The two of them fell into another comfortable silence and just stared at each other for a few minutes. They didn't feel like there was anything that needed to be said, both of were fine just sitting there.
"Are you really proud of me, Ashley?" Luke finally whispered, looking up at Ashley again.
"I am, Luke, and I really think that you should be proud of yourself, too." Ashley said, reaching down and grabbing Luke's hand in hers, intertwining their fingers.
"Yeah." Luke said quietly, nodding to himself. "I guess I am."
-
so this is supposed to be the end and I feel like this is the worst last chapter ever but I literally don't have any more ideas for how I can keep this story going??? help??? please???
if everyone hates this I'll rewrite it okay don't worry