MY WHOLE WORLD FALLS APART
"I can't allow myself to go that far
To where my whole world falls apart
I need to save my soul, it's the only thing I've got
But I don't know where to start
Can you see the darkness in me?"
~ Fight The Fade - Darkness In Me ~
"Thank you."
Korn had only nodded and looked at Team with a pity in his eyes. In had hugged him tightly for several minutes before releasing him. Then he returned to stand by his mate, lacing their fingers together. The older vampire pulled him tighter against himself.
"I liked him..." In whispered brokenly.
"I know..."
They both left him alone in a room with unconscious Win. It was as they knew that he needed a moment to mourn the situation in solitude. Another crimson tear slid down his cheek. Furiously he wiped it off and was left staring at the blood stain on his hand. When the vampire cried, it came straight from his heart, which was no longer beating. Only the greatest pain they could feel made them cry. Except the tears of their kinds were not actually tears but drops of blood. He mustered all the remaining strength he had and bit back tears of grief. There was a reason for all this and he had to remember it.
Gently he scooped his soul mate into his arms and carried him to the entrance of Korn's and In's living quarters. From there, he teleported them back to the Win's dorm room with a spell. There he lowered Win as tenderly as possible into his bed, which was covered with a familiar looking dark brown bedding. There was still time to the morning and the blond man would not wake up from unconscious before sunrise. Wanting to enjoy the last moments with the man, he settled down next to Win. He leaned closer until his lips brushed the man's forehead with the softest touch.
"I hope you can forgive me even if you don't remember anything." He whispered before pressing another gentle kiss on the man's cheek.
"You are my soul mate. I do this to save you from this life I am forced to live. I hope that during this life you will find happiness and you will enjoy your life fullest. When we meet again in your next life I hope to be as strong as I am now and I can let you go once again."
Wiping the hair off the man's face wanting to see him better, staring at him with remorse filled eyes. He traced the lines of Win's face with tender fingertips, wanting to memorize the man's appearance to his mind for eternity. In the next life, Win would look different, so this moment was significant. Memories of their night together flooded his mind. It had been perfect, filled with passion and pleasure. The man had been his first, so it had meant so much more, and he would never forget him. He snuggled closer to the man and buried his face in the curve of his neck. Grateful for the last moment together, he leaned in to nuzzle Win's ear, enjoying his scent. His blond hair smelled mixture of chlorine water and sun and his skin smelled so good that he almost moaned aloud. Remembering the taste of the man's blood got his fangs ached. The veins in the man's neck sang to him like no other sound on earth. That sweet nectar had filled him like nothing else before and he yearned to taste it one last time. But he could not, he would not. He hugged the man a little bit tighter. It was as if Win unknowingly knew he was in his embrace as the man pressed closer to him and wrapped his arms around him. And Team savored the rare moment.
How would it feel to spend this endless life with a soul mate? Would it be the same kind of worship and love for each other as he had seen between Korn and In? It was something he would never know.
The long hours of the night went far too fast. It was time to let go, he knew it. Steeling his heart to bear the inevitable he closed his eyes and pressed his lips to the man's forehead. Inhaling the man's familiar scent for the last time, he detached from the embrace. He had to disappear. He stood looking down on Win for some minutes before he stirred, and his heart ached terribly. At dawn, he finally left Win asleep and quietly pressed the apartment's door closed behind him.
THIS WORLD IS ONLY GONNA BREAK YOUR HEART
The world was on fire and no one could save me but you
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do
I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you
And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you
~ Chris Isaak – Wicked Game ~
During the next week everything returned back to the normal... Well... Except him. For some reason, he had trouble going back to what he used to be. There was this weird restlessness in him, and he refused to admit to himself a real reason for it. A deep melancholy tried to take possession of him but he wasn't going to surrender to its embrace. To do his best to push it out of his mind, he threw himself into daily routines. The days were filled with school activities, swimming exercises, hanging out with Pharm and Manaow. Eventually even his friends noticed that something was off. Even more than usually. Most probably his sad, gloomy countenance and shuffling gait, with hands in pocket gave his mood away.
Of course it was Manaow who cornered him and demanded explanations. Pharm was too gentle on that. One day after school, the girl dragged him to a cafe and refused to listen to his objections. After receiving their portion, they sat down at an isolated table in the back of the café. The girl crossed her arms over her chest and stared hard.
"Okay. Spit it out!"
"What? What do you mean?" Feigning ignorance, he tried to buy more time.
"Don't try that with me, Mister. I can see something is bothering you and I want to know the reason for it now!"
"I'm fine. There is nothing bothering me."
"I'm your friend. Pharm is your friend. Do you think we don't know you by now? You have been this grief-stricken person for some time. We want to know why and what we can do to help you." Manaow put her hand on his hand and squeezed comfortably.
"We are here for you."
Realization struck him hard. Somehow during these months, he had come attached to these two little humans. He didn't know how and when that had happened. Having spent so much time with them had made him enjoy his time at the university much more than he had even thought. The thought of losing them like he had lost Win was too much to bear. However, he could not reveal the truth to them ... Ever. There had to be some other way to reveal this agitation inside of him without revealing too much. Fortunately, he had been watching people for enough years to know how they behaved when their hearts were broken. Maybe the moment as a human wasn't a bad thing at all. Throwing aside all the pretense, he ruffled his hair angrily and grimaced.
"I met someone..."
Manaow's eyes bulked and she drew a little short quick breath.
"What? Someone? Why have you not told us anything about it?"
"It didn't work out with him. There is nothing to tell..."
"Him? You... You mean you met some guy?"
"Umph... Yeah..."
The girl obviously quickly cast aside her shock about the realization that Team was interested in the guys and continued.
"What happened then? He didn't want to be with you?"
"Oh.... "
Taking the time to think more closely about how he could explain the situation to the girl, he picked up a big piece of the piece of cake he had ordered and stuffed that into his mouth. What should he say about Win? Talking about soul mates and vampires were out of the question. Manaow waited for him to swallow the piece, not very patiently though, judging by the rhythm with which the girl tapped the table with her red painted nails. For some reason, their color was reminiscent of the blood he had to consume in order to be able to live.
"Really. There is nothing to tell about. We met. It was fun for a while, but it just did not work out after a while. We broke up. End of the story." Although he tried to be indifferent, the girl's expression was skeptical.
"Are you absolutely sure? It kinda feels like your heart is broken..."
"What? No, no broken heart here. I am just a little bit disappointed."
"Hmmmm... Okay if you say so..."
Despite Manaow's attempts, he avoided more specific questions on the matter. Eventually the girl gave up and they parted ways with friendly but meaningless words. Later in the evening, while lying on the dormitory roof, watching the stars, he reflected on his life. The stars blinked at him, as if mocking his thoughts. They never revealed their secrets even though he spent hours staring at them. Nevertheless, he didn't feel so lonely while basking at their nightly light. Anyway the night was a time for monsters like him.
Was the meaning of his life to be a creature who roamed around the world in the shadows for eternity? What even was the purpose of a vampire's life? Drink blood? Pretend to be human? Why even monsters like them had been created? And why those like them, however, had been given the opportunity to find the perfect partner? Soul mate. He had pondered these questions million times but none of them were ever answered. Admittedly, there was not even anyone who could answer them. Even Korn didn't know when he had once asked him almost the same questions. The older vampire had just accepted his life and did not ponder it more deeply. But he had had In for centuries which had given his life purpose.
Had he made a mistake in refusing to take Win as his partner? Would it be easier when he had someone to share this endless eternity with? What if...
The direction in which his thoughts drifted made him angry with himself. He had made the right decision in saving Win from this so-called-life. It was something he should remember... Always! It was best to sleep a little before the next day's lessons even though the vampires didn't need much sleep. Sighing he got up and for a moment stared at the stars before casting himself into his room. Lying on his bed alone, he forced himself to fall asleep, without noticing that in his sleep it felt like he was sleeping in the tight grip of someone's arms.
I GOT NOTHING TO LOSE
We live in hell
So might as well
Pretend it's all a fairy tale
I'm just gonna take what I want
Born in the dark
Put a stake to my heart
Just to feel something
Now I got nothing to lose
~ Death And All His Friends - BORN IN THE DARK ~
Agitation. Impatience. Irritability. He did not feel right. Even the swimming exercises did not help with his state of mind. In the embrace of the cool blue water, he had previously managed to forget everything else, but even that no longer brought comfort. The mere awareness that he was in the same spaces with Win filled his heart with deep yearning. In addition, he had a feeling that the blond man was watching him, even though every time he looked in the direction of him the man's gaze was directed elsewhere. The man has been indifferent towards him every time they met since returning from the vampire lair. Still he could not shake the feeling off. Nonetheless, it seemed that Korn's enchantment had been strong enough to erase Win's memories. The man was like nothing had happened between them. Nothing at all.
One Friday evening, when his fangs punctured a blood bag purchased from a blood bank, Team realized that he hadn't tasted fresh human blood for a long time. The microwave heated, processed blood did not satisfy his thirst enough and he was already bored of its taste and thirsted for something else. The real blood. The warm, sweet tasted blood drank directly from a person. The last human he had fed from had been Win. The taste of his blood still lingered in his taste buds and it annoyed him greatly. He did not want to remember the man. Did not want to remember the passion they shared. Did not want to want him the way he did. Maybe it was time to erase all the memories of the man. Tomorrow he would go hunting.
The same bar. The same atmosphere. The same smell of the university students mingling around the place. Drinking, chatting, dancing, spending time with their friends, searching for a partner for a one night stand or someone for a longer relationship. Perfect place for him. A smile crossed his lips, revealing the thirst of endless hunger in his eyes. Fortunately, the darkness of the bar hid it from others. It was time to find the prey. Preferably some girl this time.
When his eyes scanned the possible catch, to his astonishment his eyes landed on the familiar mob of blond hair. Win. The man was sitting with some of his friends on the other side of the bar. Unlike him, the man and his friends sat on the brighter side of the bar, where the lights were reflected from the man's blond hair like creating a halo around his head. Win was joking and laughing like nothing in the world was bothering him. He envied him. How easy life was when you were human. Although he once again wanted to curse his fate, he pushed those thoughts out of his mind. There was no need to cry over the spilled juice.
It was again one of the damned twists of fate. It was like those damn bitches threw the man on his path in every possible way, in every possible place. Like here, now, when he needed desperately fresh human blood. The need, the want, the craving hit his blood stream the way which was almost impossible to deny. The desire to go to the man and pull him into his arms, sank his teeth in the man's smooth skinned throat and drink his rich, hot blood, made him curse inwardly. The reason to come here tonight was to forget the man, not to see him again and remember where their last encounter in this exact same place has taken them. He willed the reaction of his body away and started scanning the crowd again. He needed a substitute, like right now.
"You are so handsome. What is your name?" The girl danced with him, moving a little out of sync with the music. She was drunk, but not too drunk. He could sense it. He did not like the taste of too much alcohol with the blood. Perfect one for tonight's meal.
"I'm Team. What's yours?" He smiled at the girl pleasantly, flirtatiously.
The girl was small and pretty, no beautiful, but cute, very pleasant to look at. The girl's long dark hair reached far into her back and her eyes formed little crescent moons as she smiled. In another life, he could be interested in a relationship with a cute girl like her if he were still human. After dancing with the girl for a while, he leaned closer and whispered to her ear seductively.
"Let's get out of here, this place is too crowded. I want to be with you only..." His words hinted at what he really wanted and the girl agreed to his suggestion.
Together they wandered towards the door, laughing, Team's arm casually on the girl's delicate shoulders. Just before the door, the familiar blond man walked against them. He stopped abruptly when he saw them. Even in the dim light of the bar Team saw how his features contorted with shock and anger. What the hell. Why was the man looking at him like that? There was nothing between them. Win did not even remember their moments together except those related to the recent swimming practices. Without letting the situation bother him, he shepherded the girl out of the bar with gentleness. He could feel the pair of furious eyes following them the whole way out. But he didn't have time to think about it now.
"Shall we walk to my place, it is near?"
"Is it safe to walk? Shouldn't we take a taxi?" There was a hesitation in the girl's voice, but she was powerless to resist his supernatural charm when he used a small, simple spell. Soon she smiled at him again, enchanted. All her objections forgotten.
"Don't worry honey. You are perfectly safe with me. I will take care of you and my place is not so far away." Wrapping his arms a little tighter around the girl, he pulled her with him.
Along the walk there was a suitably dark, secluded alley where he led the enchanted girl. The girl did not object at all when he cupped her head and kissed her lips. Her cherry flavored lips were warm and welcoming, the scent of her blood intoxicating. A rather quick thought of how different Win's lips had been against his crept into his mind. Almost violently, he pushed it off. Now was not the time to think about Win. Small, delicate hands wandered along his back muscles and her breath came in soft pants. Team knew that she was powerless to resist his charm. A delicious shudder shot through her body and she gave a breathy little moan.
"Oh, Team..."
His mouth moved down her slender neck. The sweet nectar pulsed invitingly behind the blue veins of her throat and the blood hunger made him quiver with anticipation. His fangs nipped at her neck and the girl in his arms shivered. The words of the spell were whispered quietly in the girl's ear and when his fangs pierced the vein in her neck, she rested pliantly in his arms.
After returning to his own dorm after taking the dazed girl to her home, he took a quick shower and lay on his bed as thoughts took over his mind. The girl had been cute, but she was not the person he thought about. His head was filled with images of the blond man's smiling face on top of him when they moved together, bodies synchronized in rapture. Groaning, he hid his face in the pillow. It had been possible to get Win's memories erased, but how would he get his own memories away.
There was a loud banging on the door, like someone trying to get through it, interrupting his recollection. Who the hell was disturbing the peace of the sleeping dorm at this time of night?
When he opened the door for the intruder, Win was the last person he expected to see behind it. It was like he had summoned the blond man here when the man strode forth angrily, tugging at his blond hair furiously like intent of pulling it off. The man stopped in the middle of the room and turned to look at Team with fire in his eyes, clenching and unclenching his hands. He could feel the rage radiating off him in angry waves.
"Where is she?! Did you have sex with her?!"
Standing in dismay at the open door, he could only look at the raging man in front of him. Even the vampire's quick handling abilities did not help him understand the situation. The blond man's face morphed to show deep anguish, his eyes glistening of unshed tears.
"How could you! You are my SOUL MATE!"
❤❤❤ (¯'·._.··¸.-~*'¨¯¨'*·~-.,.-~*'¨¯¨'*·~-.¸··._.·'¯) ❤❤❤
Thank you all for reading my story and voting it.
You can find me in Twitter and Instagram.
My Twitter: twitter.com/RoksanaTulip
My Instagram: instagram.com/RoksanaTulip