Summary: There is a thin line between love and hate. When you walk constantly on the edge, one push can plunge you on the wrong side.
"Oye! What do you mean by where is Kageyama?" Hoshiumi stood in front of him with his hands on hips.
Atsumu looked everywhere in the midst of his rowdy teammates, searching for his boyfriend.
He shouldn't have gone to the terrace to take the call. If only he had avoided that fucking call, Shoyo wouldn't have been able to corner him, and he wouldn't be here, frantically trying to find Tobio.
"Didja see where he went?" Atsumu looked desperately at their white haired attacker as he tried Tobio's number again.
Pick up the phone, baby!
"He wasn't with you?" Sakusa asked calmly, sipping his drink. When did he come and stood beside him?
"If he was, I wouldn't be askin' ya!" Atsumu shouted. Hoshiumi and Sakusa were used to his outbursts and didn't even react.
Didn't they understand the urgency in his voice?
"Did you try checking your room? Maybe he was tired and already went to bed." Aran slapped him hard on his shoulder. Atsumu was seriously more spaced out than he thought if he didn't notice people gathering around him.
Idiot. Why didn't I think of that?
He mentally thanked Aran and ran towards the exit.
"Miya! Tell him to be on time for tomorrow's lunch with me and Ushijima." Hoshiumi shouted as he was leaving.
"And, don't even think about crashing our Adlers' gathering again!" He heard the fading voice as the club's door closed behind him.
I don't know if I have the right anymore.
That dark thought transpired the gravity of the situation he was in. He cursed the very moment he ever met Shoyo. If he could go back in time, he would change that. He would change ever talking to the redhead at their first nationals together. He would change his promise to Shoyo of tossing to him. He would change his visits to Miyagi. He would change his team if it meant he could still stop that hurt look from ever crossing on Tobio's face.
After what seemed like running forever, he finally reached their room and slammed the door open, only to be greeted by complete silence. Their beds that were pushed together were empty and devoid of wrinkles. Atsumu switched on the lights, and went to check the bathroom, maybe Tobio was inside. No luck there either. Atsumu called Tobio's number for the nth time.
What if he already left? Where would he go? Was he in the village or outside? Did he go to practice volleyball? Or did he go for a run? Maybe he went to Miwa Nee-chan's place? What would be his state of mind, Atsumu wondered. If he was feeling this disoriented, he didn't know how Tobio was handling seeing him getting kissed by someone else. Damn! he had to find Tobio. He would beg and grovel at his feet if need be.
Where are you, Tobio?
"I am home." His smiling boyfriend jumped into his arms as Atsumu opened the front door.
"Tobio? How?" Atsumu asked, bewildered, catching him with a practiced ease.
"They were running special flights to bring back Japanese citizens home. I caught the first one I found." Tobio got down swiftly and pulled his trolley bag inside the house.
Of course, Atsumu knew about the special flights. Shoyo-kun had left for Brazil under a special visa for athletes. Shoyo-kun . The name filled his mouth with a bitter taste. If he wasn't drowning in his guilt, he would have paid attention to those flights more closely, and demanded that Tobio took one as soon as possible. Tobio was home. He was back and Atsumu was not prepared for it. How could he face him? How could he look into those blue eyes and hide what had happened? He felt as his palms started sweating, the rapidness of his heartbeats, his shaky breaths, and a tremor passing through his body. He was still not ready to tell Tobio the truth. He needed more time!
"Ack! Sorry, I didn't mean to touch you. Even though my test came back negative, it's best to be cautious." Tobio looked at him red-faced.
You don't have to look guilty, Tobio. That's my job.
"I am gonna take a shower, and sanitize my luggage first. Then we can catch up peacefully. Anyway, I have to quarantine at home for 14 days, so we have all the time in the world." Tobio grinned, looking back at him as he moved inside the house.
Atsumu nodded eagerly. Right. 14 days of no touching was good, and it was enough time for Atsumu to gather his courage and tell Tobio everything. He realized he hadn't said anything since Tobio came in. He steadied himself and moved to stand in front of him.
"Welcome home, baby." He looked at Tobio lovingly.
"I am home, finally." Tobio replied with a shaky smile.
It was easy to get back to the old routines except the sex part. It had always been easy for him and Tobio to co-exist, and they fell back to the same patterns of life that they had repeated countless times. It also got easier to hide his guilt, putting it at the backburner. There, but not always present. It still reared its ugly head many times though, especially whenever Shoyo-kun called Tobio, glaring at him like a red flag being waved in front of a bull, daring him to attack it head-on.
Soon. I will tell him soon .
He avoided talking to Shoyo-kun as much as possible, giving one excuse or another, but sometimes Tobio still dragged him into their calls. Those times were particularly difficult. Despite what people thought of him, he was quite straightforward and deceiving Tobio was eating away at his soul.
Tell him. Not yet.
He needed more time. Time to come to terms with any possible outcome of his deeds. He needed more time with Tobio. If Tobio decided to leave him after learning about the bitter truth, then he would try to steal as much as time possible with him beforehand. He was selfish like that. And he was scared; scared of what his life would become without Tobio.
He felt a sudden movement at his left as Tobio switched off the burner. He looked down at the boiled over milk, dripping down on the stove.
"What are you thinking about so hard, 'Tsum?" Tobio asked him with concern.
Atsumu glared at the ruined pot of milk. Could he not do anything right anymore?
"Stop glaring at it like that. You know, you can always get another." Tobio laughed.
Get another?
"Sorry, I was warmin' it for ya." Atsumu mumbled.
Tobio turned him and pressed his lips hard against Atsumu's. He felt blood rush to his face as his breath hitched. The kiss was sloppy, wet, hungry, desperate, and so much needed.
"It's been two weeks, 'Tsumu. I need something else." Tobio breathed hard against his lips.
Tobio led them a little further away from the stove, removing his clothes hastily, and bent him over the counter. Atsumu felt his arousal spiking hard. He looked back at Tobio as he removed his clothes. God he was perfect.
And yet you looked at somebody else. No, don't think about that.
"Do you know how long I have waited for this?" Tobio murmured hotly in his ear, leaning over his back, his voice getting deeper.
Atsumu loved it when Tobio got assertive like this. He felt heat pooling at the bottom of his stomach, moaning louder, he turned his head and kissed Tobio urgently.
He had missed this so badly. The touch of familiar hands, the hold of familiar arms, the kisses of familiar lips, and the connection of familiar bodies. All he wanted was to feel Tobio's touch and not think of anything else.
"Tobio..." He begged.
"I got you, baby." Tobio said soothingly.
And got him he did.
"Harder!" Atsumu demanded, feeling his insides being stretched to the limit.
Not enough. More. Give me more.
Tobio grunted, taking his hips in a bruising grip as he started pounding in him earnestly.
Each thrust shaking his entire body as he held onto the opposite edge of the counter for leverage. He felt his cock hitting the counter wall wonderfully everytime Tobio pushed in.
It's still not enough.
"Give me more, Tobs." He looked back at Tobio angrily. He didn't know what it was he wanted, just that he wanted it badly.
And it landed straight on his left butt cheek, leaving a stinging sensation, and on right, and left, and right in succession.
Perfect. Punish me.
He felt tears prick his eyes as Tobio set a perfect and brutal rhythm of fucking and spanking him.
"God. You are driving me crazy, 'Tsumu." Tobio groaned from behind.
Atsumu felt his cock twitch hard at the sound. He was leaking profusely, smearing the wall with it. It felt so good, so right. He couldn't help his moans from escaping as he scratched his nails on the surface of the counter.
"Oh no, you don't." Tobio immediately took both his hands and pulled them behind his back, getting Atsumu in a position where he was completely at his mercy. Atsumu let out a whimper as it pushed Tobio's cock even deeper in him, hitting his spot just right.
"You will chip your nails, if you keep on scratching like that." Tobio bit his earlobe bending down and soothed it with a lick.
Stop being so caring, Tobio.
"Tobio... Baby, please." Atsumu was going crazy with need.
Tobio obliged by taking both his wrists in one hand and his cock in another, stroking it in sync with his thrusts.
"Mine. All mine." Tobio called out possessively.
Oh God. Why?
It was too much. It was just what he wanted, his senses to be completely overwhelmed by Tobio. He came hard shouting Tobio's name, his legs shaking with the intensity of his orgasm. Tobio released his hands and brought him in a hug, momentarily slipping out.
"So good for me. So... So good. So perfect, 'Tsumu." Tobio whispered against his neck, kissing it repeatedly.
No, I am not. I am the worst.
Tobio turned Atsumu around and made him sit on the counter edge, entering him again, his eyes full of wonder and lust.
Don't look at me like that.
Atsumu wrapped his legs around Tobio's waist, hugging him closer, he hid his face on Tobio's right shoulder as Tobio chased his orgasm, filling him again and again.
Tell him. No.
If time was a river then Atsumu's heart was a polluted pond. He thought his mind would become serene once again as he spent more time with Tobio, but he could still feel the pain like an injury that refused to heal. And the worst part was that he didn't have it in him to rip off the band-aid. He laughed internally at his cowardice as Tobio writhed beneath him. Those beautiful eyes that looked at him with so much adoration felt like a slap in the face as he lost himself in Tobio's depth.
"No more... 'Tsumu." Tobio cried.
Do you not want me? Take me, Tobio. Keep me.
"A little more, baby..." Atsumu kissed him deeply.
"Ah... Hah... Then come for me, 'Tsumu." Tobio tightened his legs around him and pulled him deeper, squeezing around his length.
And Atsumu forgot to think once again as he felt nothing but the floating sensation of the best kind of pleasure known to man.
As Tobio slept beside him breathing softly, Atsumu made a promise to himself.
I am never ever letting you go, Tobio.
That had been the plan until a certain redhead had ruined everything. Atsumu had not counted on him to be such a nuisance. Shoyo had come out of nowhere and demanded answers as if he owed him any kind of explanation. Atsumu shivered as he remembered those crazy blank eyes. He even had the audacity to try and stop him when he wanted to go back to Tobio.
"Atsumu-San! Wait, Where are you going?" "Atsumu-San!"
Hinata looked at the blond's retreating back as he called out after him sitting on the hardwood floor, from where he had been shoved to, not many seconds ago. Did he say 'Tobio'? Kageyama was there? Did he see them?
Shit.
That hadn't been the part of the plan. He just wanted to confront Atsumu-San, but the man was not leaving Kageyama's side the entire time. Atsumu-San had been avoiding him completely, only talking to him when it was related to their games or when he was forced by Kageyama to be in a group setting. Even then he kept his words to a bare minimum. They had been good friends, or so Hinata thought. It seemed like whatever bond they had created in Kageyama's absence had faded fast. Had the man forgotten how he had kept him entertained all the time so he wouldn't miss Kageyama? Had he forgotten how lonely he had been? He said that night had been a mistake. A mistake? How could he think like that?
Hinata had been resentful, angry beyond reason. And Atsumu-San even didn't toss to him in today's game, using him as a decoy the entire time. Hinata had been glad when Kageyama had been back as the setter, temporarily forgetting all about that. But after their victory, he was brought back to reality when he saw Atsumu-San kiss Kageyama right in front of his eyes, right in front of the entire world. He knew he would never have that, but still it had hurt. He was used to being the sun who shined the brightest everywhere he went, and he didn't understand why he had suddenly taken a step in the dark that one night more than a year ago. He didn't know whether it was because of the grudge he had been harboring for so many years, or did he genuinely like Atsumu-San now? Was that the reason he was feeling the same jealousy now, which he had felt that one fateful day in their high school days? But that night had been the final blow, hadn't it? He knew something had changed a while ago, that night had just confirmed it.
"Kageyama, why can't you be there?" Tanaka screamed on Kageyama's face.
The Karasuno Volleyball Club had gathered in the gym including the third years, as they planned a party before seniors' graduation. Everybody was shocked to hear that Kageyama mentioned if he could take a rain check.
"Kageyama-kun, it would be better if you join us. It will be the last time we might all be together before everyone gets busy." Yachi said politely.
"It's not that I don't wanna come, it's just I have a guest coming that weekend and I will be busy showing him around." Kageyama replied nervously.
"Oi Kageyama, why don't you just bring him to the party then?" Hinata asked excitedly.
"Yea, bring him to the dinner." Daichi-san encouraged him.
"Would it be okay if I did?" Kageyama hesitated.
"Any friend of yours is a friend of ours." Nishinoya gave him a thumbs-up.
"I am surprised that the king has friends." Tsukishima said with a straight face.
"Shut up, Tsukki!" "Shut up, Tsukishima." Yamaguchi and Hinata yelled in unison.
Tsukishima wisely kept his mouth shut.
"By the way, Kageyama, who is this friend of yours?" Sugawara asked curiously as he looped his left arm around Kageyama's shoulder.
"Atsumu-san." Kageyama replied simply.
Everyone looked at him shocked.
"Inarizaki's setter? Why is he coming to visit you?" Daichi asked, confused.
"Itsbecauseheismyboyfriend." Kageyama replied hurriedly.
"Say that again, Kageyama-kun. I didn't hear you properly." Sugawara pulled Kageyama closer.
"I SAID HE IS COMING BECAUSE HE IS MY BOYFRIEND!" Kageyama shouted, getting a blush on his cheek.
"Boyfriend????"
Everybody shouted together, even Kiyoko-san was looking shocked. And then there was a frenzy and moving limbs as people surrounded Kageyama. Tanaka and Nishinoya asked him a hundred questions in a minute, Sugawara trying to push them away, and Daichi just looked plain angry, while Asahi seemed his usual nervous self. Even the second years were curious and threw in their two cents. But Hinata just stood there dumbfounded.
Boyfriend?
The world around him had gone completely silent, the scene in front of him fading, moving to the second day of the national tournament.
Bathrooms were scary places, he already knew from countless encounters before, as he sang and bounced happily towards one. The victory had been so sweet and he had finally learnt to receive properly during the game. It was a pretty great day. But, he came to a standstill at the entrance as he saw Kageyama and the setter from Inarizaki standing close, too close. Miya Atsumu was it? He had Kageyama pinned against the wall, he was whispering something in Kageyama's ear, and Kageyama's face looked completely red. Hinata flattened his back against the wall turning away from them. Was Kageyama picking a fight with the other setter? Scary. Bathrooms were scary.
"Oh Shoyo-kun, I will see ya later, kay?" Miya Atsumu waved at him as he left, smiling happily
Kageyama soon followed him out.
"What the hell was that?" Hinata questioned.
"Nothing boke, just go do your business." Kageyama stomped away. Was it him or was he smiling?
Hinata didn't think much about it as he really had to use the bathroom.
It hadn't been a fight, had it?
How could he not see it before?
Kageyama and Miya Atsumu had been too focused on each other during the game. Did they even realise that there were other 10 players on the court? What was their deal anyway? The game wasn't being played between just two of them, but to anybody watching it looked like that.
And what about the night before?
"Kageyama, are you scared? You are gonna face the best setter in Japan tomorrow." Hinata teased as they laid on their futons side by side.
"No, I am not scared." He replied calmly.
"Why not? Isn't he better than Oikawa-San? Or are you still just scared of Oikawa-San?" He probed further, sitting up.
"You are right. I am still scared of Oikawa-San. And Atsumu-San is better than anyone I know. But, I am not scared." Kageyama replied almost fondly.
"Huh. Why not?" Hinata was confused.
"I just am not. Go to sleep, boke." Kageyama faced the other way.
"Fine. Don't tell me." Hinata laid down grumbling.
Whatever. It was better that Kageyama was feeling so confident, Hinata thought. Tomorrow's match would be a milestone if they won, so it was best if that was the case. Still, he felt like Kageyama was hiding something. He didn't know what, but he had changed ever since he came back from the training camp. He had become a lot calmer, and pushed everyone even harder.
Boyfriend.
What is this feeling?
"Are you sure it's okay for me to bring him?" Hinata came back to the moment as Kageyama hesitantly asked.
"Yea, we wanna meet him." Daichi-San replied darkly.
"Yea, Kageyama-kun, we just wanna talk." Sugawara-San said sweetly.
"Suga-san, your smile is scaring me." Kageyama said, shivering.
Why couldn't he say anything? Why did he feel like that his heart was being crushed? Why did he hate the word 'boyfriend'? Hinata just stood there looking at Kageyama as he talked to their seniors.
"You know, jealous is a really dumb look on your face." Tsukishima said, looking down on him. The bastard was smirking. It was no surprise that he hadn't joined in with everyone.
"Maybe, our king didn't notice you because you are so small." He added, fueling the fire.
"Tsukki! Stop that." Yamaguchi came near them. He looked at Hinata apologetically.
"I am just telling the truth." Tsukishima said as he moved away.
"Sorry, Hinata." Yamaguchi murmured as he followed him.
Was he jealous? He was. He didn't realise before because he really was a boke. It had taken someone to steal away Kageyama to make him perceive that. He should have known it before, now it felt like he had missed his chance. Kageyama had a boyfriend and he was openly admitting it. Hinata felt like crying but he smiled widely and ran to his best friend, joining others in teasing him. He only let the tears fall once he was on his bed.
It was infuriating to see how easily other members of Karasuno Volleyball Club had accepted Miya Atsumu. Not without a lot of teasing though, and thinly veiled threats to take care of Kageyama or they would cause some serious harm to him. Miya Atsumu had charmed his way into the group, even getting Saltyshima to talk. Hinata wanted to hate the man, but he could see how much he made Kageyama happy. And for the sake of his friend's happiness he had pretended to be his usual energetic self during the dinner. But the exhaustion had taken over him as soon as he entered his home. That night he dreamed about Kageyama telling him 'Oye. I am going ahead.' in a loop.
Kageyama was really leaving him behind. As Hinata spent more time with Kageyama and Miya Atsumu, he couldn't help but feel that it was coming true. Kageyama was going further out of his reach, and he didn't know what to do. His one sided love had turned into a dull throbbing constant in his heart. He didn't know why he was torturing himself like that, but the thought of not talking to Kageyama was even more terrifying.
Do you see it? I wish you could; The view from my eyes. You would know then, the beauty I see in you. I wonder what it would be like to see the world from your eyes. Does it look as beautiful as mine? But you have stopped seeing me. You never saw me to begin with. I have been fading, haven't I? I wonder if in another life, in another universe, if it's me you are seeing the same way I see you.
It had been a good decision to move away from Japan. Beach Volleyball was really helping him a lot. And even though he missed home and his friends, the new learning experience was making up for it. But, Kageyama's shadow still followed him. He had already made it to the national team, and as he watched Kageyama playing in Olympics on tv, the feeling of falling behind came back tenfold, but this time it was of rivalry. Hinata had to catch up fast.
He had met Kageyama and Atsumu for dinner in Rio. They were as in love as ever. This time it didn't hurt him that much. He had made good friends with Atsumu-San throughout the years. He was completely different from Kageyama, how they had fallen in love was still a mystery to him, but he had accepted it. The immunity time could give someone was truly amazing. He had promised both of them that he would be back soon and then they would all play together, especially Kageyama. The bastard was 3 wins ahead of him.
When he came back home, he felt like a different person. He felt like he was ready to take on the world. He had applied for MSBY Black Jackals as they were recruiting and had been selected after tryouts. And he felt like home when he was back on the court, this time playing against Kageyama.
He had been amazed as he spiked one toss after another. Atsumu-san was awesome, just like Kageyama, the ball just appeared in front of him. That's when he thought that perhaps Atsumu-san and Kageyama were not that different. Was it a setter thing? Seriously though, what was the deal with Kageyama and Atsumu-San? They were still eyeing each other across the net. It seemed like nothing had changed from their game against Inarizaki in highschool. They still forgot other people around them. And Hinata felt a little spark of jealousy ignite in his mind, but he pushed it down. He had a game to win, and setters should focus on their spikers not on another setter.
Hinata had pulled one over Kageyama and he wanted to thank Atsumu-san for keeping up with him perfectly. But, the man looked so sad and surprisingly he could sympathize with him.
Yea, Kageyama is just like that. Leaving anyone behind is easy for him.
So, he had promised Atsumu-San that he would never let him feel alone, because he knew what it felt like.
Hinata had made great friends with Atsumu-san during the lockdown. He always knew how easy it was to get along with him and without Kageyama present, he felt none of the awkwardness. He had stopped hating the man a long time ago, after all, it wasn't his fault that Hinata was a slowpoke. They often spent time together and Hinata thought they both would have gone crazy if they didn't, what with their very social personalities.
Atsumu-San still whined a lot about missing Kageyama, but even that was getting somewhat endearing. Hinata didn't mind it much as he lent him an ear. He had come to care for the man in his own way. And Atsumu-San made up for it by cooking really good food that he learnt from his twin. Though most of the dishes he made were Kageyama's favorites, and Hinata never missed a chance to taunt Kageyama on FaceTime as he shoved the food down his throat. Kageyama would grumble and curse them both, and Atsumu-san would promise to feed him every day once he was back.
Sometimes Atsumu-San and Kageyama forgot that he was in the room as they continued to talk over the screen. And a feeling of darkness would come back.
Always the outsider.
But he let it slide, he would take what life had given him. He was blessed with many things, with little to complain. He had achieved whatever he had chased after, and even though the journey had been full of obstacles, he had reached his destination. Then what was this empty feeling nagging at his mind like a thorn in his side? Despite that, he felt loved. He had his amazing family and many friends who truly cared for him, including Kageyama and Atsumu-San.
Or that had been the case until the morning of his last birthday.
"Shoyo-kun, Didja think I would let ya celebrate your birthday alone?" Atsumu-San had stood at his doorstep at midnight.
He had a homemade cake with candles already alight on top in his one hand and phone in another.
"Oi Boke. Happy Birthday!" Kageyama said through the screen.
When he had cut the cake he had wished for this feeling of happiness to last forever, and after Kageyama had cut the call, he had opened the bottles of sake to celebrate the end of his 23 years of life, and welcome the 24th one.
Hinata was feeling really tipsy by the end of the third bottle. And as he listened to Atsumu-San ramble about Kageyama, something in him had snapped. Today was supposed to be his day, but it's always about Kageyama as usual.
"I miss Tobio so much, Shoyo-kun." Atsumu-San slurred. Was he crying?
"Why is he not here?" He added.
We are in the same storm but only you have the boat, Atsumu-San.
"Because, that's what he does. He leaves people behind." Hinata replied.
"Right? How could he do that?" Atsumu-San agreed with him.
"He hurts your feelings." Hinata looked at him as he answered.
"Wait what? He hasn't hurt my feelings." Atsumu-San squinted him.
"He never realises how much someone loves him. How much someone wants him." Hinata spat.
"Yer right. I do want him pretty badly right now." Atsumu-San sighed.
Was he only hearing what he wanted?
"Forget about him." Hinata said darkly.
"I would if I could, Shoyo-kun. Y'know how difficult it is to be without him?" Atsumu-San really was crying.
I know.
"We don't have to be alone, Atsumu-San." Hinata had enough. He knew he should shut up, but his mouth had different ideas.
"What do ya mean?" Atsumu inquired.
"I mean this." Hinata said as he went close to Atsumu-San and kissed him.
"Shoyo-Kun. What'cha doin'?" Atsumu pushed him away.
"I promised I would never let you feel alone, Atsumu-San. I am just fulfilling that." Hinata went for another kiss.
This time he wasn't pushed away but he wasn't kissed back either. With the liquid courage flowing through his blood, he was emboldened and didn't stop kissing until he felt the other set of lips move against him.
Perhaps, the other man was equally drunk or more. Because the kiss had turned into much more as the night had progressed. Hinata didn't remember when he fell asleep, but he was brought back to consciousness by a loud noise of a body hitting his bedroom door.
He saw Atsumu-San slumped against the door looking at him like he had seen an alien. Something unfamiliar and repelling. And the man had cursed in every imaginable way, and left the room slamming the door in the process. Hinata heard him fussing outside as he probably searched for his clothes and another slam.
What had he done? He had seduced his best friend's boyfriend. He felt tears running down his cheeks, and he let go, crying like he had done many years ago.
It had been almost three months since that night. Hinata and Atsumu had silently agreed not to mention it or talk to each other. They only talked when Kageyama called and wanted to speak to them together. It seemed like they had silently agreed on keeping up the facade too.
It was after one of those calls at Atsumu-San' place that Hinata thought he should break the news. At least tell the man that he wouldn't have to worry too much about avoiding him anymore. As he sat down on the sofa, he felt something poking behind his back. He got up and found that it was Kageyama's old jacket from Adlers, the zipper poking out. He went to move it but before he could touch it, it was snatched away.
"Don't touch his jacket." Atsumu-San snapped.
I touched his man though.
He was really offended, but he could understand where Atsumu-San was coming from. If he was feeling this guilty, then he could only imagine what Atsumu-San was going through.
"I am leaving for Brazil soon. I have joined Asas Sao Paulo." Hinata said looking down at the floor.
"Oh."
Just oh.
"Can ya leave though?" Atsumu-San added.
"Yea, there are some special flights running now, since the lockdown is easing up a bit." Hinata replied, nodding his head.
"Good." He heard Atsumu-San say.
Of course, it was good. It was best to stay away from Japan. And obviously this was a great opportunity which had come at just the right time. He left after saying what he had to. There was no need for more words.
Until the Olympics in July 2021. He had to see his old teammates, and he had dreaded seeing two people the most. He knew there would be a lot of uneasy feelings, but he had not been prepared to feel completely unwanted.
He saw Kageyama and Atsumu-San behaving as if nothing had happened at all. He hadn't dreamt that night, had he? And then there was today's game. He was used as a decoy. As a replacement. Again.
He had to talk to Atsumu-San. He couldn't just let that go.
So when he saw the man going outside on the terrace, he had followed after him.
Atsumu-San finished his call and looked back at him and his eyes widened.
"Do ya want somethin', Shoyo-kun?" He asked slowly.
"Yea, why didn't you give me any tosses today?" Hinata asked angrily.
"Ain'tcha the greatest decoy?" Atsumu-San asked him like he was a child.
"That's not the point. I am also one of the best spikers. You can't just use me like that." Hinata was frustrated.
"What's this 'bout?" The man questioned him.
What was it about?
"Atsumu-San, are you trying to project your guilt on me? Just so you know. You can clap with two hands, and slap with one hand. It wasn't only my fault." Hinata said. It was about time they had it out in the open.
Atsumu-San looked down at the ground. Good. At least the man had the decency to look ashamed.
"Dontcha think I know that?" He murmured.
"But, Shoyo-kun. I ain't losin' Tobio over somethin' so disgustin' we both did. So, it's best if we find a way to remain civil to each other." Atsumu-San replied heatedly, meeting his eyes.
Disgusting? What the hell? If he was so disgusting then why did he sleep with him?
"I am not disgusting. And if I am then so are you." Hinata shouted.
"It was clearly a mistake. I have to go." Atsumu-San said calmly.
I am not letting you leave so easily.
"You didn't find this so disgusting that night." Hinata lunged at him, taking him in a surprise kiss.
Atsumu-San tried to push him away, but Hinata was seeing red and running high on adrenaline, he easily overpowered him despite his size. How could Atsumu-San think like that when he was the equal participant? Hinata had had enough.
He only came to his senses when he had been shoved away hard and saw Atsumu-San running after Kageyama.
Oh God. Kageyama.
What had he done? He should have kept his mouth shut. Had the love he fostered for years turned into resentment and came out as something so ugly? Had he never let go of those feelings? Had he hurt the very man he loved so dearly for many years? He had to fix this. But how? How could you even fix something so twisted? He slapped both his cheeks hard.
Think. Think.
Only one person came to his mind who could help him. Even that was a risk, he didn't know how the man would react after listening to what he had to say, but Hinata knew that anybody else from his own team would probably just burn him alive along with Atsumu-San.
He took out his phone with shaky hands and dialed the number correctly on the third try.
"Oikawa-San." He called out to the man on the other line, equally shaky.
"Shoyo-chan? What's wrong?" Oikawa-San asked him worriedly.
"Oikawa-San... Kageyama... Kageyama... Oik" He was sobbing.
"What happened to Tobio-Chan, Shoyo? Where is he? What's wrong with my adorable kouhai?" The man asked him urgently without letting him finish.
"Oikawa-San, I fucked up." Hinata broke own.
Notes: That was a long one. Thank you for reading!