January 31, 1977
9:09 pm
Hogwarts Grounds
The day after Anneliese and Lily overheard what three of the four Marauder's very brief yet very telling conversation in the common room, Callaway had been struggling with what to say all day, or if she even should say anything in the first place.
There was the fact that she didn't want Sirius to think she was some sort of sneak like the rest of the school already did, if he didn't feel that way already. Then again, he had been the one stupid enough to spill his thoughts with her right there, even if she did appear to be sleeping.
Finding the right timing was one thing, but then so was finding the right thing to say.
Hey, so how about we just go on that motorcycle you apparently have and we have a mature discussion about us for once in our lives? Anneliese thought miserably, pressing a flask of firewhiskey to her lips.
Callaway thought she deserved the alcohol after everything that was happening.
And with the last day of the month, that day, being her seventeenth birthday, she also took it as a way to 'celebrate.'
She had mentioned the very vague time of the day while telling the story about Leo and the driver's license at Hogwarts, but that was it as far as the Gryffindors knew.
When she was very young, her family would celebrate the occasion with a strawberry cake and nine dollars for her to spend however she wanted at the candy store a few hour's drive away.
The nine dollars was because that had been her first word after seeing her father counting their nine chickens every day to make sure no animal had gotten them such as a fox or coyote, so it held deep sentimental value.
Obviously, that had all changed when she went to the orphanage.
Birthdays became such a useless thing when they only reminded her of another year from when her parents had given her up, another three hundred and sixty five days when they did not regret disowning their daughter.
January thirty first regressed to such a normal thing that when Anneliese had been asked by Leo for her birthday in their first year at Ilvermorny, she genuinely forgot for a long time until Violet pulled out a calendar and went through the days with her until one of them rang a bell.
I just changed my age at some point every year, she remembered telling him as the firewhiskey scalded her throat. Not that anyone would ever ask to remind me that I should know the answer to that question.
Leo and Violet had been sad when this was how she answered, but Anneliese honestly didn't mind much.
Now, at Hogwarts, Callaway had taken a silent cue from Sirius and grabbed some firewhiskey from the kitchens to celebrate or whatever she was supposed to be doing.
Everyone else was inside in the Great Hall eating dinner after the early winter sunset, but she had opted to just take some time to herself after the stressful day.
Her back was pressed against one of the oak trees by the Black Lake, the frosted over grass acting as her seat in the velvety blackness. It was so dark outside that she couldn't see her hand in front of her face, the mountains blocking out any light given off by nearby muggle civilization or Hogsmeade.
The firewhiskey in her hand was the only thing she had brought down with her along with her wand to penetrate the dense darkness temporarily while she climbed down, which meant that she was only using her hearing to take in the night.
The sound of the freezing winter air against the bare branches and twigs above her covering in ice almost sounded like the windchimes she and Ella Mae had hung up on their porch in Tennessee, while her shoes made a crunching sound whenever she adjusted her position.
Anneliese pressed her eyes shut, not that it made any difference, and gave herself a break from the alcohol. Her throat felt raw like it had been rubbed with sandpaper and her head was pounding heavily, reminding her of her low alcohol tolerance that she was far past at this point.
Some people had stomachs and throats made of steel when it came to these things, but definitely not her.
Some people like Sirius, she thought desolately.
Usually, her mind would block away the thoughts of Black, but it was too clouded by the fiery liquid to do that that night.
He was even drinking the first time I ever saw him, or I could tell he had been, Anneliese wandered off. When we were at the Leaky Cauldron. He wasn't seventeen then, so he must have smuggled some beforehand. He definitely tasted like it.
Even after over five months, she could still remember exactly what it was like to kiss him. Granted, it had been a fake one in a fake relationship made for less than a minute so that the stupid boy would leave her alone, but he had still definitely kissed her, a stranger, back.
A sudden swarm of something that wasn't quite nerves exploded in her as she thought of kissing Sirius.
I mean with that kind of reputation, he has to have quite a bit of experience, right? she questioned herself. And with more than just kissing.
Once again, the firewhiskey infiltrated her thoughts and dissolved another barrier she would have never normally crossed.
The image of his hands when he did something as simple as using his quill with a tight grip flitted across her mind, and the way that his fingers intricately drummed on the desk when he was bored made her shift uncomfortably how she was sitting.
Even though it had been very few times, when his shirt had pulled up slightly if he was reaching up on a shelf or something of the sort, small slivers of pale yet firm stomach had been revealed, something that just made her want to see all of it without a shirt on at all.
The scar she had seen under his sleeve crept into her mind, making her realize how much she wanted to see the rest of them and how beautiful they were. They showed how strong he was, and Callaway wished that she could run her finger over every single one.
All of those pictures combined with the warm feeling of their skin when it touched made Anneliese lace her hands in one another and her breath turn slightly short.
Her mind shifted rapidly and out of control to when she had landed with her palms pressed flat on either side of his neck after catching the snitch, and then to when he had grabbed her wrist at the Owlery after she had that nightmare keeping her awake.
Stop it, she said mentally, finally stopping herself after going on about thinking of him for what felt like far too long. Stop thinking about something you can't have.
A swath of cold from the lake made Anneliese realize that even though her cheeks were heated from thinking of Sirius like that just as much as her throat was burning from firewhiskey, she was going to freeze to death if she stayed out there much longer.
"Lumos," she muttered, the word coming out a bit more hazily than normal.
She tucked a strand of loose golden hair behind her ear to keep it from falling in her face as she climbed up the hill, the trip taking longer than usual because of the alcohol in her blood emphasizing the burning in her thighs.
The wandlight disappeared once the amber lights of the castle reached the grass instead of the cold light. There was a lack of noise and shadows in the open air corridors, which meant that dinner was either still going on or had been released earlier.
Either way, Anneliese wasn't hungry as she started to make her way back to Gryffindor Tower. A mixture of songs came from the normally steady hum of her voice, her clouded mind not being able to decide on just one.
Meanwhile, the Marauders had skipped dinner as well to go with Remus back to the dorms after his stay at the hospital wing because of the full moon the night before.
"It wasn't that bad this time," Lupin reassured them as they walked in a wide line. "Pomfrey just had to spend a bit more time on- woah, what happened to you?"
Anneliese had successfully managed to cause a collision in their two paths to the same place, thoroughly slamming James in the shoulder while turning around a tight corner.
"Nothin-" Anneliese started, but cut herself off when her throat screamed at her in protest to stop talking and drink some water.
Sirius watched with familiarity as she coughed with a wince in her shoulders, knowing that she must have taken in some serious alcohol.
"That flask is disagreeing with you," Black said gently, his grey eyes flicking downwards to her skeleton tattooed hand with the container in it. "Not nothing."
James, Remus, and Peter each took in their own form of a sharp exhale in quiet anticipation of knowing that this was the first time they had really spoken besides Sirius giving her the broom.
Don't mess up, don't mess up, don't mess up, James repeated in his head over and over as if Sirius would hear him if he did it enough. Don't mess up.
"There is nothing in here that concerns you, Black," she said as clearly as possible, pushing through the internal pain to get the words out. "Now, excuse me."
"Come with me- us back to the common room so you can get there properly," Sirius said after his quick correction. "You're drunk."
Once again that night, Anneliese found the alcohol dissolving her usual barriers to block Black out like they were thin, flimsy tissue paper. So, instead of just turning away, she did something that hadn't happened in a long time.
Callaway argued.
"Yes, because you are so innocent of wandering the corridors with firewhiskey at night," she said with lips made loose by firewhiskey. "Midnight firewhiskey runs ring a bell?"
Sirius genuinely didn't know what to do.
He was in shock and relief that she was actually talking to him, even if it was with an angry tone. Anneliese was giving him the opportunity to banter in the way that had been missing, yet he was hesitant to take it.
Something felt wrong about her not being sober, like he was taking advantage of her.
If Callaway had said something even slightly different, Sirius would have rapidly made sure not to converse with her when he had the mental lead, maybe get Remus to take her back to the common room or something so that he wouldn't be using her in any way.
But that midnight firewhiskey phrase just seemed too familiar too fast.
"What're you talking about?" Sirius prompted. "What makes you think I do that?"
Anneliese blinked a few times with hazy thought, trying to process what to say or not say. The normal intricate filtering was gone with the firewhiskey, and the precision of her words was gone.
"Because I heard you say that you were going to," she snapped, gripping the flask tighter. "You must be a true idiot if you really think that Lily and I were asleep."
Sirius didn't know what he had been expecting, but it most certainly was not that.
Behind him, James and Peter's cheeks simultaneously darkened as they realized that the two girls must have heard everything, while Remus was smart enough to connect the dots and figure out what happened while he was in the hospital wing.
"And I was there in the first place because even though I know it's stupid, you hadn't come back," Anneliese continued, her hand gestures becoming aimless. "I was just scared that you had gotten hurt or something!"
Callaway paused for a moment, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand and slumping against the wall for balance while they all watched her.
The combination of the thoughts she had been having earlier, the conversation she had overheard that her clouded mind was only remembering snippets from, and the boy standing in front of her all curated a singular phrase.
"Also, motorcycles are pretty fucking hot."
She hadn't meant to say it out loud.
Sirius was once again stumped at what to say. He couldn't flirt and take the compliment, just walk past it like it hadn't happened, and thank you sounded lame.
"Okay, yea, you're drunk," Black muttered, tilting his head towards the other three to help him out here. "You don't want to go back with me, so James, Peter, and Remus'll just take you-"
"No, I want you, not them."
The other three boys froze in their motions to help her, all of their heads then turning back to Sirius for some form of instruction of what to do about the latest turn, who looked just as confused as them.
"But I hexed you, you don't want-" he fumbled, his eyes desperately trying to read her face. "What?"
"Just this one time, then I'll go back to ignorin you," Anneliese replied, running a hand down her face again. "You're right, I'm not in a right state of mind, that's the only reason."
Sirius felt simultaneously hurt that the only reason she wanted to be near him was because she was drunk and lucky that she had finally turned to him for comfort after the weeks of waiting.
"Alright," he said simply, still lacking the proper words to express what he was feeling. "James, Remus, Peter, go on, we might be a bit behind you."
The three boys looked at each other for a few seconds before all giving Sirius a warning glance not to fuck anything up before turned down the corridor to get back to their dormitories.
Anneliese turned off the wall to Sirius, a little too quickly, making her shoulder tip off balance and her feet stumble.
"Woah there," Black said, swiftly hooking a hand around her waist to keep her from falling. "I got you, just try and stay as steady as possible, alright?"
The rest of the way back to the common room was a combination of hands meeting shoulders and waists in the most respectful yet firm ways possible to support both of them. Each knew that this was merely a favor, or at least that's what they told themselves.
Much to Sirius's relief, the common room was empty when they stepped in, meaning that everyone was still at dinner.
"Can you make it up to your dorm?" Black asked kindly, hesitantly eyeing the very tall spiral staircase to reach the sixth year section. "The stairs will slide if I try to help you."
"I don't want you to go," Anneliese mumbled back, looking up at him with wide, dark blue eyes with a glassy, emotional film on them amplified by the alcohol. "Please."
"Yes, but that doesn't answer my question," replied Sirius, not getting any hopes up because she was drunk. "Can you make it up to your dorm?"
"I mean, I could if Lily or Marlene or Alice or Dorcas could help me," she said, rambling slightly. "Alone, I can try. Why can't they help me, where are they?"
"They're at dinner, and Remus, James, and Peter are upstairs already," Sirius stated, slowly starting to see the issue there. "And I can't leave you alone when you're like this, not even for a minute to go get them. Something bad might happen if someone comes in."
"I'll be fine without you for a minute," Anneliese said, her mind flitting between her solid decisions like a butterfly on a windy day. "What do you really think is going to happen?"
Sirius once again hesitated as he looked down at the girl partially leaning on him, his grey eyes not being capable of telling her anything.
He knew that while sober, Callaway was always very alert to staying safe and that sort of thing, but bringing her back into the potential dangers was too much at the moment.
"Nothing," Sirius said softly. "Nothing is going to happen while I'm here, alright?"
"Alright," Anneliese said, haziness taking over her tone. "I'm tired. Can I sleep now? But not down here, because you won't be down here and people will just make things worse if we both sleep down here and-"
"I know, I know," Black cut her ramble off soothingly, thoughts racing. "Do you.. do you want to sleep in the boys dorms?"
"Sure," she replied, not thinking much of the decision. "As long as you're there."
"Yea, I'll be there," Sirius reassured her as they climbed up the stairs, his arm wrapped around her waist for support he couldn't have given on the girl's. "Come on, almost there. Are you sure about this?"
"Mhm," Anneliese mumbled, eyes going partly shut.
"No, look at me," Sirius said, sudden coldness taking over his tone. "I need to know that you're okay with this, Callaway. I need a solid answer. I am not going to let you sleep in there for sure unless you give me a firm yes that you are completely comfortable and don't feel unsafe or forced in any way."
Her breath caught slightly with shock at the way his calming voice had sudden changed to such a severe one, the emotions in her head struggling to stay clear.
"Yes, I'm okay with this," Anneliese said, as particularly as possible. "I am."
James, Remus, and Peter all looked up in shock when they saw that Black was not alone.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Lupin hissed, jumped off his bed. "She's drunk, Pads-"
"I know," Sirius cut him off, gently setting down Anneliese on his bed. "All she's doing is sleeping in here, and I made sure that she was sure."
James looked to where the blonde was already knocked out cold the second her legs hit the quilt, then back to Black.
"Don't worry, I'm taking the floor," Sirius said, grabbing one of Potter's spare pillows and setting in down on the stone. "We should all just try and get some sleep."
"Yea," Remus said in a low tone, clicking off the lamp. "Night."
"Night," they all muttered back, shutting their eyes and trying to get some rest.
More than just the hard floor was keeping Sirius awake.
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