This Chapter is dedicated to TheWriterD. Thanks so much for your support and reading this story :)
24 - Love Can Be A Funny Thing
These next few days were a confusing time for me. I felt guilty. Guilty for being weak and letting Brent back in. Guilty for disappointing Kade - for disappointing myself. I tried to pull myself together and somehow made it through the week. It was the day before Thanksgiving when things were heating up again, but not in ways I had imagined. It started out in school when I was called to the principal's office at lunch time.
I was pondering what Ms. Wagner might want from me, my anxiousness growing by the minute. I imagined all kind of crazy stuff from Kade or Tisha having called her to Brent sitting in her office. My nails were starting to disappear as I sat in the main reception area, waiting for her, biting them vigorously until even the most gifted manicurist would have had a hard time restoring them to anything of beauty.
Other kids walked in for one thing or another and without exception, stared at me with curiosity. This chair was usually reserved for the bad kids and I wanted to scream at them that I didn't do anything wrong. I had always been a good and well behaved student and this was my first trip to Ms. Wagner during school hours. It had already ringed for my next class period when she finally took mercy on me and welcomed me inside her office. I was twitching in the offered chair, not sure what to expect.
"I am sorry to keep you from your class, Rena," she began. "I know you have missed a lot of school this year and this won't take long."
I felt obliged to give her an explanation for my many absentees. "I was sick a lot and even spent a few days in the hospital."
"I am sorry to hear that," she responded flatly and I had the impression she couldn't care less. "I hope it wasn't something serious."
I shook my head, my thumbnail back on my lips for a further biting assault.
"Well, I am sure you will catch up." She appeared embarrassed when she continued. "But that's not what I wanted to discuss with you. The secretary got a call from a Mr. Brent Parks yesterday who has been paying your tuition these past few months. He indicated that he would not be in any further position to support you financially."
My eyes went wide - I couldn't believe he was just cutting me off. "I-I don't know what to say," I stuttered, my face burning with humiliation. "I wasn't aware of that."
She smiled curtly. "As you know, this is a private institution and we have to insist that all our students are up to date with their payments. Unfortunately, your grades have dropped to a point where you won't qualify for one of our merit scholarships. Your account is settled until the end of the month and I could even allow for a grace period until Christmas for you to make alternative arrangements but I am afraid if there is an outstanding balance in the New Year, you will have to enrol in a public high school."
I swallowed hard. "Are you kicking me out?"
She clicked her tongue with an impatient impression. "You will not be expelled but I have a school to run which is quite expensive. Maybe you could ask you father for a temporary loan until you graduate."
I got mad - why did everyone think that my dad was the solution for everything? They made him sound like some type of a saint who could save me but he would probably just refuse to help me anyways after everything that happened.
I jumped up. "I will make sure my tuition is paid in full before the Christmas vacation. Happy Thanksgiving."
I had no clue where I could get the money from but I would never have admitted that. In a daze, I went back to my classes and pretty much spent the rest of the afternoon brooding what to do. I was even tempted to call Brent and yell at him but was afraid of what he might tell me. I feared he had moved on and didn't need me anymore. Since I was still licking my wounds, that would have been an unbearable thought.
The second blow came as soon as I got back to the shelter. Tisha caught me as I was trying to sneak undetected into my room to disappear for the rest of the day - I was in desperate need for some alone time.
"Rena, can I have a word."
This didn't sound good. For the second time that day, I was summoned into an office I would rather not have set foot into at all and slumped into a chair to face a woman who had more or less control over an important aspect of my live.
"I wanted to follow up with you about our conversation we had when you first got here. Have you given it any further thoughts on how you envision your future?"
I bit my lip, of course I had. "I haven't really made a decision yet," I confessed meekly.
She gave me a similar smile as Ms. Wagner. "I know this is a confusing time for you but things will pick up in the coming weeks. We usually get in a lot of families right after Thanksgiving and unfortunately, those have priority. I am not sure if I can still offer you a bed and you may have to transfer to a homeless shelter."
I stared at her in utter disbelief. "A homeless shelter?" There was no way I would stoop that low.
"The alternative is that you could petition the court to revoke your emancipation order and you could enter the foster care system. That would also guarantee that you get the needed mental health counselling and might be your best option if you don't want to go back to your dad's."
I felt the rug pulled out from underneath me. She conveniently left out another option - I could go back to Brent. My head was spinning as I left her office, I felt totally backed into a corner.
I called Kade and cried on his shoulder - or better said I whined into his ear since he couldn't get away from the hospital. He assured me we would find a solution for both the school and the shelter situation and I should not panic. He promised to stop by on Friday and we would talk - he was on a forty eight hour shift over the holidays and indispensable. Though he made me feel better, there was still a real bitter taste in my mouth.
While I was in school, a new roommate had moved in, a little six year old girl that was nagging constantly with little whimpers demanding her daddy and got terribly on my nerves. After an hour, I was ready to kill her. I took a long walk, wrapped tightly in Brent's coat, just to get away from the turmoil at the shelter. It had warmed up and there was no more hope for snow which increased my misery - I was in desperate need of some magical spirit.
The next day, I was woken up at eight to help with the Thanksgiving dinner after I had only caught a few hours of sleep, all thanks to the crying girl. She hadn't even stopped long enough to tell me her name and I was fed up. I dragged myself out of bed and hopped under the shower, hoping to regain some of my energy. It didn't work - I felt miserable.
I dressed in comfortable slacks and an oversized sweater and was just about to depart for the kitchen when my phone rang. It was Brent - I immediately recognized the special ring tone he had programmed into the phone when he got it for me. I was still mad about the tuition thing and first wanted to let the mailbox get the call but I still picked up. I guess it was like a sixth sense that something terrible was in the works.
There was silence on the other end, only interrupted by a few sobs.
"Brent, are you there?" I asked.
More sobbing. "Rena, I can't go on like this. I love you too much. Life doesn't make sense anymore without you."
His voice sounded off but I didn't put the pieces together. "Brent, I am really sorry you are so upset." I almost started crying myself, the building pressure over the last twenty four hours finally catching up with me. "I really miss you but I am just so damn scared."
He was weeping almost hysterically. "I am so sorry for everything. This is all my fault and I can't blame you that you stopped loving me."
I wanted to make him feel better. "I never said I stopped loving you. I need time to work things out."
I wasn't sure if he was even listening. "I just wanted to tell you that it's OK if you and Fallon are together. He seems like a really nice guy and I don't deserve such a wonderful woman like you. I blew it big time, Rena." He was howling in pain as he pressed these last words out. He had totally lost it and his speech was slurred, he was probably drunk and wouldn't remember a thing in the next few hours.
"Brent, you need to calm down. Kade and I are not together. We are just friends."
The bawling continued and I felt a few tears trickling down my cheeks.
"It doesn't matter," he muttered. "Nothing matters anymore without you. I just called to say goodbye. Please never forget how much I love you and always will."
He cut the line and I was numb. The call really upset me and there was a spreading inner unrest. Something was off but I couldn't put my finger on it.
I would get my answer just a couple of hours later while I was cutting the apples for the pie. Another call came in, this time from Kade.
"Rena, I need you to stay calm." He sounded really serious and I knew straight away that he was just about to deliver bad news. The blood left my face and my mouth was so dry that I had trouble swallowing.
"What happened?" I whispered.
"It's Brent. He was admitted to the hospital about an hour ago. He attempted to commit suicide."
My legs gave way and I slid to the floor. That's what he was trying to tell me.
"Will he be OK?" I mumbled, tears spilling from my eyes. I didn't want him to die. My heart was torn into a thousand pieces and all I could think off was that this was my fault.
"They pumped his stomach and are giving him liquids through his blood stream to flush out the poison. I am not his treating physician but he should survive."
I had to go and see him. "I will be right there."
I stormed out and tracked down the first cab I saw, not even realizing that I didn't have any money on me. Luckily, Kade thought ahead and met me outside the emergency room to pay the driver.
"Where is he?" I yelled, my voice shrill and in total panic.
"Relax." Kade didn't seem concerned all of a sudden. "He is resting comfortably and will be fine."
I didn't really know what that meant but didn't like his lackadaisy attitude. Brent almost died.
"I want to see him," I demanded.
He led me inside. The reception area was almost deserted, just a few patients were waiting to be seen. Thanksgiving was one of those holidays where people were supposed to be happy and not spend time away from their families in a hospital bed.
I rushed him down the corridor, not wanting to waste any time to visit with Brent. Whoever said that patience was a virtue was an idiot. We took the elevator to the third floor which was a general hospital wing and I was relieved that Brent wasn't in the ICU with tubes stuck all into him. A few nurses greeted Kade politely as we walked by with some admiring glances, he seemed to be very popular. He grunted mostly in response, unusually tense.
We stopped in front of a patient room. "Before you go in, you should know one thing. I reviewed his file and the cocktail he took was well dosed. It would have never killed him."
I narrowed my eyes. "What are you saying?"
He focused on a spot on the wall behind me. "I believe this is just all a big show to win you back. He is trying to manipulate you."
That was ridiculous - no one would go through so much trouble and harm themselves just to get back with their girlfriend.
"I don't believe that," I hissed, swooping right passed him.
Brent looked so small in the hospital bed. An infusion was stuck in his arm and he was hooked up to a monitor - luckily, the even beeps confirmed that his heart was beating strong. He was paler than a ghost and his eyes were dull but lit up as soon as he saw me.
"Rena," he croaked. "I am so glad you are here." The words cracked under his frail voice.
I couldn't hold back the tears. "Oh, my God, Brent, what did you do?"
I broke down on my knees in front of his bed and buried my face in the sheets, afraid to touch him. I prayed that he would be OK and forgive me.
He stroked my hair. "Don't cry, baby. The doctors said I will be alright."
I rose by head, watching him with a blurred vision. "Why Brent? You should know how dangerous it was to take those pills." A sob escaped my throat and I clutched my hand to my mouth. I wanted so desperately to hold him.
He lowered his eyes. "I didn't want to go on without you."
He continued to stroke my hair while I wept at his bedside. I had never wanted any of this to happen. In that moment, I hated Kade for convincing me to leave Brent in the first place. Chantal, Marcus, everything I learned at the shelter was forgotten.
I don't know how long I cried but it must have been a while because when I was done, my eyes were burning and my cheeks all puffy. On top of that, my knees were killing me from kneeling on the hard floor which I considered a good punishment. Brent ordered me to get up and take a seat and asked the nurse to bring us some water. It was filled with loads of ice cubes and I sipped it, watching him with a renewed love. I was sure that everything that had happened over these last ten days was enough of a wakeup call for the both of us. It was time to give him another chance and finally go back home.
It would prove to be the final mistake of my futile attempt to break free of him. For the next two days, I didn't leave his bedside and though there wasn't a lot of talking, I felt whole again. I was sure things would be different. We both went through hell and back and would cherish what we had together. But just as so many times before, I couldn't have been further from the truth. Up to this day I question why I just didn't get the memo.
OK - Brent and Rena are back together but were you surprised by his stunt? Do you believe he actually tried to commit suicide or was it just a show?
All feedback and comments are very much appreciated. Remember, there is always the option to vote if this chapter deserved it. Thanks for reading!