You were in a hospital bed. You didn't recall anything happening to you other than you collapsing on the wall. There were ventilators and other devices attached to your body. Everything you did was painful. You wanted to get better. But you already knew you had a couple of days left.
Y/N:...Romani-san....
Romani:oh, Y/N! How are you feeling? Please refrain from speaking too much since it would be painful for your lungs. Here's a pen and clipboard for communication.
Y/N:(writing) thanks. I feel ass. I can't breathe properly and everything hurts.
Romani:you already knew what was happening to your body right?
Y/N:(writing)yeah.
Romani:so are you planning to confess?
Y/N:(writing)i don't have much of a choice here. I'll gather every ounce of my courage. That way i can die without regrets.
Romani:then i'll call them over later to check-up on you?
Y/N:(writing)wait they can get in my room?
Romani:i just released you from the Intensive Care Unit yesterday. From your fragile state and degrading health you'd have to get as many visitors as you can.
Y/N:(writing)then let them know i'm wide awake and ready for visitors.
(Timeskip)
???:may we come in?
You knocked 3 times back signaling for their entry.
The people who entered were Hikigaya Hachiman looking a bit concerned about your current state, Yuigahama Yui looking shocked and Yukino Yukinoshita looking pale.
Yuigahama:are you doing fine.. Y/N?
Y/N:(writing)to be honest, no. I feel pain in every part of my body especially my chest.
Hachiman:you're dying and you still aren't trying to open up. You're even worse than me. We brought snacks on the go.
Y)N:(writing) you know i have a tube in my mouth right...
Hachiman:woops.
Yukino:enough of that. When are you being discharged?
Y/N:...
Yuigahama:don't tell me..
Yukino:you're dying?
Hachiman:...
Y/N:(writing)yeah. My Illness caught up to me way too fast.
Yukino:why didn't you reach out to us?! We could've help you and your problems!
Y/N:(writing)could you guys bring Dr. Romani and leave us for a couple of minutes first?
Hachiman:sure.
(Timeskip)
Romani:what is it Y/N?
Y/N:(writing) could you remove my ventilator now?
Romani:i'd normally reccomend against it but.
Yukino:if you're a doctor then why aren't you trying to save him!?
Romani:this may be dark but this is his choice. I would've preferably done the surgery and save his life but i'd lose my job. We can't do anything to him apart from granting his final wishes.
Yukino:...
Romani:then we'll get started on removing these alright?
Y/N:(writing)Thank you Dr. Romani.
(Timeskip)
Y/N:so what is it do you want to talk about?
Yukino:you've liked me for a long time haven't you?
These words filled the hollow in your heart. Her realizing that you had feelings for her for a long time. Hell it was long you could describe it as creepy. You felt butterflies in your stomach and was feeling light.
Y/N:so what if i was?
Yukino:then i-i.. like you too..
Silence. It was just an eerie silence blanketing the entire room. She was scared and you were thinking.
Y/N:please refrain from lying.
Yukino:eh?
Y/N:i know you're lying.
Yukino:i'm not! I really have feelings for you!
Y/N:please stop. You're acting way out of character.
Yukino:then.. what am i supposed to do to save you?
Y/N:you don't. You being with Hikigaya and seeing both of you happy from another place would be enough.
Yukino:but that's too unfair!! (sobbing) you keep saving everyone from their darkness yet you deny everyone that tries to help you back! Why?
Y/N:i told you already. I have nothing to lose anymore.
Yukino:that doesn't make any sense!
Y/N:it doesn't have to be right? You've seen the events that transpired throughout my life.
Yukino:....
Y/N:that's why i devoted my time to helping people around me. To make sure they don't end up at the same position that i've fallen.(cough) (cough)
Yukino:can't i really do anything to help you?...
Y/N:please live with Hikigaya. I've tried getting through him a lot of times now and he's dense. He probably has bad memories of women at his school and didn't know how to interact until he got into highschool.
Yukino:what are you saying?
Y/N:you might not see it but both of you are lost. You still can't decide for your own and Hikigaya can't do things without him getting hurt in any way. Both of you could be your own pillars of support and lean to each other whenever you need to. Please take care of him.
Yukino:you are way too selfish. You expect me to carry this responsibilities just because you're dying?
Y/N:yes. Although that last part kinda hurt. But please, do so and i can.. rest..
Yukino:Y/N?
Y/N:call everyone inside now... And could you grab my phone and headphones from my bag?
(timeskip)
Yuigahama:no way.. Y/N is gonna die in a couple of minutes?
Romani:yeah. We can only watch him now.
Y/N:before i die though can i say my final words to each and everyone of you?
Romani:go ahead Y/N.
Y/N:Romani-san, thanks for being my adoptive guardian even though it wasn't for long. You've literally become a huge part of my life and i can't deny that. Will you send a superchat to Fubuki-san in her stream next time?
Romani:....
Yuigahama:Doctor?..
Romani:(crying) yeah.. i'll do that..
Y/N:Yuigahama-san. You were probably the most positive person i've met in my life. You were a bit of a dumbass but you're a huge reason why most of the time the Service Club is positive.
Yuigahama:thanks for that Y/N!...
Y/N:i've already said mine to Yukinoshita earlier so Hikigaya-san.
Hikigaya:please don't say anything cringe.
Yukino:stop it.(slaps arm)
Hikigaya:oww.. anyways continue.
Y/N:you look like couples and i'm a bit jealous. Please do take care of Yukinoshita-san for me. She's prone to overworking herself to the point of getting sick and is way too harsh with her words. I know you're the only one that can do this so sorry for my selfishness..
Hikigaya:yeah... Thanks for the memories Y/N-san.
Y/N:then i'll listen to music one last time.
Was there a lifetime waiting for us in a
world where I was yours?
Paper planes and porcelain
Smell of rain through the window pane
And the sight of you
Oh, you were a good dream
I was scared to lose you then
But secrets turn into regrets
Buried feelings grow
Oh, you were a good dream
Was there a lifetime waiting for us in a world where I was yours?
Was it the wrong time, what if we tried
giving in a little more
To the warmth we had before?
Tangled with another's eyes
Never mind, you were never mine
Glimpse of me and you
Oh, you were a good dream
Was there a lifetime waiting for us in a
world where I was yours?
Was it the wrong time, what if we tried
giving in a little more?
I'd spend a lifetime waiting in vain just
to go back to the way we were before
Was it the wrong time, what if we tried
giving in a little more
To the warmth we had before?
Is there a lifetime waiting for us?
All this time, I have been yours.
You were tearing up. Hadn't you been honest you could've had her in your arms now. You've drowned yourself in countless maladaptive daydreams of you dancing her slowly and her leaning in to you chest for comfort...
𝑰𝒇 𝒎𝒖𝒍𝒕𝒊𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒖𝒏𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒔 𝒅𝒐 𝒆𝒙𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒔, 𝑰'𝒍𝒍 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓.
A/N's Notes:
Ngl, this chapter managed to tear me up a bit. I'm very much proud of this being published even though this work is being overshadowed by my beginner book.