Today was the birthday of my best friend, Lauren. I didn't like parties. I never threw them, and I never went to them but as she was my best friend, and turning 16, I had agreed to go.
Due to my usual lack of involvement, I had no idea what went on at these parties, what we were doing, who was going, any of it really.
Not having wanted to stand out, I had messaged Lauren several times over the past couple of weeks to ask her about what I should wear and what she was wearing.
She knew I could get stressed and anxious easily (I loved her more for being ok with that) and had decided we should go shopping together to buy our outfits.
Lauren had said it was only a small party, and more of a family gathering. Her mum and brothers would be there, as well as family friends, more extended family and a few friends but only close ones.
Lauren enjoyed partying more than I did, not that that was a very high bar, so I was surprised she had opted for a fairly small family get together though I did wonder if she was downplaying the numbers so I would get less worked up over going.
So, in my new jeans and fancy-ish top I had bought, I stood outside the front door of Lauren's house, finally gathering enough courage to knock on the door.
It's not like I hadn't been here before, in fact I had many times, but it just felt different for a party. I'd met Lauren's mum, Anne, several times and she had always been really nice to me. I'd met her younger brother, Harry, but not her older brother, Ashton.
And just to add to my anxiety, it was him who opened the door. I'd hoped to at least be greeted by a familiar face, preferably Lauren. I still wasn't sure if I looked ok, or if the cake I had brought was alright.
Lauren always said I had a talent for cake making and had insisted I make one for her birthday so I had.
"Hi," Ashton smiled, and I managed a small smile in return "You must be Isabelle."
"That's me," I said.
"Well, please come in," he said, stepping back to allow me space to pass through "Lauren has been waiting for you."
Oh. Was I late?
"Sorry, I didn't mean to be late," I apologised, my cheeks flushing red, as I stepped into the house.
"No, no, I didn't mean you were late," Ashton assured "only that Lauren has been looking forward to your arrival."
Walking into the house, I took in what was going on around me. There were many people there, of a range of ages. Some young kids were jumping around, almost screaming and yelling as they played, there were a few people of Ashton's age, possibly his friends, and many adults stood, or sat, conversing around the house.
I didn't know any of these people; I couldn't talk to all these new people.
"Isabelle!" Lauren squealed, running over and hugging me "I'm so glad you could make it."
"Well, I said I'd be here," I answered now really wishing I hadn't. "Happy birthday." I held the cake out towards her and she smiled widely, taking the box from my and walking to the kitchen. I followed her, not wanting to be left alone in this house.
Lauren set the box down on the counter, lifting off the lid.
"Oh my god! It looks amazing!" She exclaimed. I had made a three layered chocolate cake, with chocolate buttercream between the layers. It was covered in a chocolate glaze and had chocolate fingers stuck around the sides. I'd written 'Happy Birthday Lauren!' on the top in white icing, doing my best to make the writing neat and fancy.
"Thank you," she said, hugging me.
"You're welcome," I smiled "I wanted to make it amazing as it was all I could get you."
"Don't be silly," she scolded lightly "It's the best present you could have given me. Plus you came to my party which is amazing."
"Nice looking cake," someone I didn't know spoke as he walked over to us, reaching out his hand to swipe some of the icing.
"Hands off," Lauren scolded, swatting his hand away, making him laugh. "Isabelle spent a lot of time on this cake and you will not ruin it."
"Ok, ok," the man said, raising his hands before turning to me. "You must be Isabelle, the master cake maker."
"That's me," I chuckled lightly.
"I'm Luke, it's nice to meet you," he introduced himself.
"He's one of Ashton's friends," Lauren explained further.
"That makes it sound like you don't like me."
"I don't," she teased.
Luke gasped, faking offence, with his hand on his chest.
"Wow, I'm telling Ashton you're being mean," he threatened.
"You are literally a twenty year old child," Lauren laughed.
It amazed me how comfortable she was around everyone. I would never be able to talk to anyone like that, except maybe Lauren but that would be it.
"Let's go mingle," Lauren said after Luke had walked away, grabbing my hand and leading my between all the people.
The more people Lauren introduced me to, and the more people I had to speak to, the more uncomfortable I got.
By the time we reached where Ashton and Luke were sat with two other guys, I was very anxious and breathing heavily.
"Guys, this is my best friend Isabelle," Lauren introduced me, the four guys smiling at me.
"Isabelle, you've already met Ashton and Luke," she said, gesturing to the two who smiled and offered a small wave. "This is Michael and Calum," Lauren continued pointing to the other too.
The looked at me as if expecting me to say something.
"Erm, i-it's nice t-to me you," I stuttered out, my breathing growing heavier.
I'd already met so many new people today, I couldn't handle this.
"It's nice to meet you too," Michael spoke followed by Calum saying something of the same sentiment.
I'd zoned out, my heart pounding, ringing in my ears, I was out of breath, panting, unable to take in enough oxygen.
I didn't know what was happening as something gently took my wrist into their hand and led me from the room.
I was gasping as I was taken into another room, away from the party, which was empty.
The person moved me down to the floor, sitting opposite me, before guiding my head down to me knees.
"That's it," he said and I realised it was Ashton from the sound of his voice. "Deep breaths," he spoke calmly, rubbing my back in a soothing motion as he did.
"I can't breath," I panicked, gasping.
"You can. Copy my breathing," Ashton spoke gently, moving so I rested against his chest and could copy his breathing.
It took several minutes but eventually my breathing slowed, becoming in sync with his.
"Better?" He asked gently as I slowly sat up.
"Yes, thank you," I nodded.
"Does that happen a lot?" Ashton asked.
"Does what happen a lot?"
"You having panic attacks, or feeling very anxious."
"I get anxious, I guess," I mumbled.
"A lot?"
I shrugged.
"You don't need to be embarrassed, sweetheart. I just want to know so I can help you; you should have to feel anxious a lot without having a way to cope with it," Ashton spoke softly, his eyes warm.
"Yeah I feel like that a lot. Whenever I'm around a lot of people really."
"So you're struggling to be here today?"
I nodded. "I wanted to come for Lauren. She's my best friend and I didn't want to miss her party."
"Cake time!" I heard someone yell from the other room, possibly Anne.
"We should probably head back in there," I said quietly, looking away from Ashton.
"If you're comfortable with that," he said "if you need a few more minutes then you can."
"No, I'm fine," I said standing up followed by Ashton doing the same.
"Ok, let's go get some cake. It's looks amazing by the way," he smiled.
"Thank you," I blushed.
"And if you start feeling anxious again, come tell me and I'll take you upstairs where it's quieter, okay?"
"Ok, thank you, Ashton."
"No problem, sweetheart.
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Word count: 1400 (1430 with notes)
Requested: I don't have the effort to look back through all our messages to find it. 😂
Published: 29/06/2021
boobearstylin hope you enjoyed ❤️❤️