I could feel the pain in my feet, the dull ache in the back of my head. I knew, more than felt that there was fear. It was in the air, almost as if you when you breathed in, it would immediately clutch tightly to your heart. And squeezed, until you thought your heart would burst. Then it would hold. But no death would come, no relief to the constant misery. The only life there was for yourself was one that consist of constantly looking over your shoulder.
I couldn't stop running, though. My body told me to stop, to catch my breath, but I ignored its wishes. My fear took control, making my body stiffen, causing me to stumble in my run. I knew this was it, this one fatal mistake would cost me my life. Why fight it? There was nothing I could do, my life would be his. And they would be free. That would be enough, knowing they would live, yet I would never see them again. When it came to them, my life was nothing. I would spend the rest of eternity in chains, a slave to an evil man.
With that, my shoulders slumped, and I slowed my pace, allowing his followers to catch up to me. They yanked me back by my hair, and tied my arms with a rope, that seemed to burn my skin to the bone. Without saying a word, they led me back in the direction I'd ran from. But it would be worth it.
His beautiful face floated in my mind, thoughts of him would be the only escape I would have from the awful torture to come. I spoke in my mind, as if he could hear me, "I love you, don't ever forget that." Then I closed my heart to the darkness.
--------------------
I woke drenched in sweat. I lifted my hand to run my fingers through my sticky hair, breaking it away from my forehead. Then I closed my eyes, to try and remember anything of the dream I'd had. I didn't know why, but I knew this dream was of importance; the irony of it was that I could never remember a single part of it.
I was tired because of the dream; it didn't allow me much sleep. But I knew already that I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, I'd tried before. I glanced over at my alarm clock, which told me it was only five thirty in the morning, meaning I still had more than two hours before I actually had to be awake.
I quietly slipped out of bed, careful to not step on certain squeaky boards in the floor. I quickly changed out of my pajamas and into suitable running attire. Throwing my hair into a pony tail, I slipped out the door.
Morning jogs had become habitual for me ever since my father died. It seemed to be that the fresh breeze and the dew under my feet helped to clear my mind. Hence, why I choose to not wear shoes when I run. Considering I live out in the country, I don't have to worry much about running out of grass. Unless it is winter, then I worry quite a lot, since the grass dries up.
I looked up towards the sky, seeing the moon peek slightly through the trees at me. If I looked at it in a certain way, it could be taken to be winking at me. Closing my eyes, I took in the sounds of the night, the wind brushing the trees against one another, the slight trickle of a stream somewhere in the forest, and in the distance, I could hear dogs howling.
Not taking any more time, I started my run. My family owned about sixty acres of land in northern Arkansas, and every morning I run the perimeter of it. If I paced myself correctly, I would make it to the top of a cliff just in time to sit and watch the sun rise. Some people might think this is cheesy, and only something characters in a book would do, but I do it anyways. It helps ease the stress in my mind.
I don't usually stay for long, since I have to be back in time to take over watching my little sister when my mom and step dad leave. But for once, I could actually stay and enjoy it for a little while, because my parents decided to take a break off from work today.
When I made to the cliff, I sat down on a big rock close to the edge. I kept my eyes wide and watched as all the beautiful colors swept together to create the perfect masterpiece, ready to be brightened increasingly as the sun rose. I watched until the sun was fairly high, then I closed my eyes and let the feeling of security wash over me. For however brief the moment.
I almost dozed off when I heard a twig snap, but I ignored it, taking it to most likely be an animal. But then I heard a soft swear, with no mistake being a human voice. My eyes were open now, and my head pointed to where the noise had emanated from.
Where only birds and trees had been, a boy roughly around my age stood among them. He was about six feet, with dirty blond hair, a nice build, and a strong jaw. But it wasn't even the abs that so apparently lined his stomach that caused me to sharply inhale a breath. No, it was his eyes. They were a dark greyish blue, almost black, and they seemed to be holding back two life time’s worth of pain and secrets. It seemed only a few seconds that I saw this, for as sure as I was that I saw it then, it was gone now.
I quickly got over the surprise I felt for this stranger being here. "Who are you?" I asked sharply.
He replied calmly, "I'm Xavier, who are you?"
"My name is Leah. What are you doing here?" I find it funny how people answer their names when you ask who they are. Because, your name isn't who you are, it's simply the title that you are called, if it wasn't for who you are, your name would be nothing.
"I'm walking. You ask a lot of questions." He said, sitting down on the rock I had abandoned a little while ago.
I glared at him, "I think I have a right to! You’re a strange man on my property, and I have no idea why you think you can be here."
He laughed at me. I don't know why he laughed; I didn't think anything I'd just say was in anyway amusing. "Leah, I'm not a 'strange man', we go to the same school." I blinked owlishly at him, taken aback. Did we really go to the same school?
"What? No we don't! I mean, I think I would have remembered you. Besides, that still doesn't give you a reason to be on my family's land." I remarked, crossing my arms across my chest.
"Yes we do, Leah." He said, emphasising each word. "We are in the same math class. And I didn’t realize I’d trespassed. I come here every morning, and I’ve never seen anyone here before.”
“Huh. Do we really? And yes, that is because I am usually gone by now. But I decided to stay for a little longer today.” I replied, nodding my head.
Xavier shifted awkwardly, “Yeah, so are you going to make me leave?”
I studied him for a moment, “No, I don’t think I will. As long as you don’t try anything funny.” He laughed, before moving over on the rock so I could sit down. I arched my eyebrow at him, shaking my head at him. I remained standing.
“Oh, come on, if I had wanted to do something to you, I’d have done it by now.” He said.
I shook my head, “No, not necessarily, it would be much easier for you, and probably more fun, if you got me to trust you then betrayed me. I mean, honestly, if you’re going to be a psychopath, you ought to be a little better at this stuff.”
He threw his hands up in mock surrender, “Alright, alright, you got me. I’ll just have to try harder from now on, then.” He smiled, stuffing his hands in his pockets in a way that was extremely adorable.
I rolled my eyes, and then took a seat on a rock a good few feet away from where he was sitting. He noticed this, eyeing the rock and I up and down, but he didn’t say anything. I turned away, grabbing my iPod out of my hoodie pocket, plugging the headphones into my ears. I nodded my head to the beat, my concentration slowly slipping away. Because of this, I didn’t notice Xavier sneaking up behind me.
“Boo!” He yelled, grabbing my shoulders. I screamed, spinning around and kicking his knees out from under him, and then I realized who it was.
I put my arm out, helping him to get up. “Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry, it’s just, well, you scared me!”
He laughed, “It is okay. Your face was completely worth it! ” I blushed, turning my head away. My hair had long since fallen out if its pony tail, and my hair hid my face as I ducked my head and smiled.
I looked up at him, and my smile disappeared. He was staring at me, his eyes slightly glazed over, as if reliving a memory. When I met his eyes, I saw emptiness. I reached up, as if to touch his face, and then snapped my fingers. His eyes refocused, and he moved away.
“Hey, I have to go. I guess I’ll see you around?” I asked, walking backwards towards home.
He looked at me, “Yeah, I’ll see you around, Leah.” I nodded, turning around on my heels. I put my headphones back in my ears, just realizing they’d fallen out. All the way home I had a smile on my face.
When I walked in the door to my house, the smell of bacon and waffles hit my nose. I breathed in, and a pleasant sigh left my lips. It has been a very long time since I’d had anything but cereal for breakfast. I could tell Avery was happy about it, too, because she was sitting in the kitchen while bouncing up and down in her chair muttering nonsense.
“Good morning, mom, Avery,” I say, nodding to them as I said their name, “Where’s David?”
Avery did a three-sixty in her chair. “Daddy’s in the living room. He says he’ll come and eat with us when food is ready.” I smiled at her, in a way of thanks. I thought it was sad she thought David was our father, but mom thought it would just confuse her if we told her otherwise. She was too involved in her own little world to remember much of our dad, and now she was too oblivious to care.
“I’m going to go wash up real quick.” I told them, taking two steps at a time as I went up the stairs. When I got to the top, I started walking slower. I glanced at every photo that lined the wall, from David and moms wedding, to the family photo from a few months back. In every photo Avery was in, she was looking directly at you. She had no smile on her face, and her eyes looked as if she wanted to tell you something. But she couldn’t, because every time she tried to tell us something that we think might help her, she falls to the floor either screaming or laughing hysterically. We don’t ask her very often anymore.
I walked into my bedroom and slipped off all my dirty clothes. I had my own bathroom, and no one could get to it unless they went through my room. I grabbed a towel, and then stepped into the shower. It took me thirty minutes of scrubbing and all the other stuff before I decided I was satisfied. I dried my body off then tied the towel around my head, to keep my wet hair from dripping. I had already locked my bedroom door and picked out a change of clothes to put on so I walked out, bare butt and all, of my bathroom to get changed. I brushed my hair, and then walked back down stairs.
“Breakfast ready yet?” I asked mom, sitting down in my chair at the table.
She nodded, “Help yourself.” She started putting the food out on the table, so I got up to help her. I guess mom was just happy to be home for once because she had gone all out on breakfast. She had made sausage, bacon, biscuits and gravy, pancakes, waffles, and she had even set out some fresh fruit. Mom had already set the table so I started pouring either milk or juice in our glasses.
We don’t usually have breakfast together, because mom and David are usually at work by now, so this was a special occasion. On most days Avery and I just sit in the living room and watch TV while eating something I’d strapped together. Although, we do always have dinner together, and my mom is a magnificent cook, so it’s your own bad if you miss out on that.
“Leah? Will you go let David and Avery know breakfast is ready? They are playing a board game in the living room.” Mom told me as she stood behind her chair, waiting. Mom had always been all about tradition, and she had been taught that the man of the house always sits down at the table first, then the lady, then the children. So that is how it has always been in our house, even Avery follows that rule.
I walk a little towards the living room, and then shout, “David, Avery! Breakfast is ready!” I turn around and mom is giving me a stern look. I shrug my shoulders then take my place standing behind my chair. David and Avery walk in, and David waits for Avery to get situated behind her chair then nods at us, and the he sits down. Our mom smiles at him, sits down, and then tells us to.
Mom looks at Avery, “Sweet heart, would you like to lead us in prayer before we eat?” Avery shakes her head violently. We don’t know why, but Avery seems to avoid saying God’s name outside of church, even in prayer. She seems to think something bad will happen if she does. “Okay, I will, then.”
We all take each other’s hands, and bow our heads. “Dear heavenly father, thank you for giving us this break in routine so we could spend more time together as a family. I thank you for blessing us so much, even when it is true that we are unworthy. We thank you for this food, and for never giving up on us. Amen.”
“Amen.” We all repeated in unison. David started staring at us, and I was beginning to grow uncomfortable. Then he lost the straight face, and busted up laughing. “Dig in!” It was all chaos from there on out.
When we were done, I started rinsing dishes and giving them to Avery to stick in the dish washer. Mom and David we’re clearing the table and putting the food up.
“Hey girls?” I heard David ask, and Avery and I paused in our work to listen to him. “Your mother and I were thinking about going into the city today and just hanging out. You girls don’t have to stick with us if you don’t want to, you can go off and do your own thing. Does that sound good?” We both nodded our head eagerly. Avery, I knew wanted to go because she hadn’t been into town in a long time, and I wanted to get some new art supplies.
“Great! Well, just finish up there, and then you can go get ready.” Mom said, finishing up the table. We both nodded. David and mom walked out of the room, and Avery and I didn’t say another word for a while.
“Leah?” Avery asked attentively.
I looked at her, “Yeah?”
“Do you think you could dress me up? I heard some girls say the other day that I dressed like a child, is that true? How am I supposed to dress?” She asked, avoiding my eye contact.
I laughed, “Avery, you dress perfectly fine for your age. Those girls were probably just jealous that you don’t have to dress like a twenty year old to feel pretty. But yes, I will help you get dressed! It will be so much fun.”
Avery’s dull eyes met mine, lighting up for a moment. She giggled, and for a moment she looked like a normal teenage girl.
We finished up with the dishes, and I reached for Avery’s hand. She flinched away from me, so I looked up at her face. I almost asked her what was wrong, but the just lowered my eyes and shook my head. I inclined my head towards the stairs, eyebrows raised in question. She nodded, and the raced up the stairs. I started to follow her, but I felt eyes watching me. I turned around to see mom staring at me with a worried expression on her face.
I offered her a small smile, covering up my own pain while walking backwards towards the stairs. “It’ll all be okay mom, I know it.” Then I turned around, and walked up the stairs. I had a feeling today was going to be a long day.