Loud laughs emit from the table I'm sitting at. All my friends are around me smiling and having the best time. The party incident that happened seems to have disappeared from everyone's mind.
Mateo has his arm around my shoulder while talking to Adam who's next to him. Alison and Alejandro are whispering things into each other's ear while laughing. I look around the table and I'm happier than ever for meeting these people and having the great opportunity to keep them.
For some reason, the room starts to get dim. Everyone gets quiet quickly and looks around trying to see what's going on.
I turn around trying to see if something is causing this but when I turn back around the table is empty. The only other person who's still here is Mateo. I look up at him and once I see his face it makes me want to look away.
He stares at me with a disgusted look. He takes off his arm from around me and stands up from the table. The room is dark and the only light that seems to be working is the one illuminating Mateo's face. I stay sitting down not knowing what to do.
Mateo starts to back away and the further he gets the more I'm not able to see his face. His last words before disappearing terrify me.
"Goodbye Veronica."
I shoot up from my bed and look around trying to figure out where I am. Once I realize I'm in my room, I let myself take a deep breath. Running my hands through my hair I feel the sweat that was building up while I was sleeping.
It was just a dream.
But it felt so real.
Picking up my phone from the nightstand, I check the time and see that it's barely 4:00 in the morning. Throwing the phone next to me on the bed, I let myself fall back against the bed.
I haven't talked to anyone. Besides Alison, but it's just telling her I'm fine and that's about it. Mateo sends me messages asking me if I'm okay but I don't reply. I feel even worse about the whole situation. I'm sure Alison lets him know I'm okay.
The day after the party I just stayed in my room all day. I only went downstairs to eat but I would head straight back up into my room right when I was done. Christopher hasn't come home either, which I find absolutely fantastic. Seeing him would just make me want to hit him, yell at him, tell him everything he's done wrong.
Closing my eyes trying to sleep, it's no use when I'm kept awake with all the thoughts swimming in my head. Sometimes I wish my thoughts had a switch. I can turn them off and on when I want to. Sadly, that's not how it works.
I stay up for two more hours. Tossing and turning, not even reaching for my phone. By the time the sun starts to shine through the windows, my eyes start feeling heavy. Not giving a care about being late for school, I let my eyes close and let sleep overcome my thoughts.
Ignoring the vibrations I feel beside my head, I continue sleeping feeling relaxed for once. The vibrations stop after a minute and start once again. Reluctantly peeling my eyes open, I see my room look bright as ever.
Turning over to pick up my phone and see who's calling me, I see that it's Alison. Sighing, I answer the call.
"He-," not even getting the chance to say hello, Alison cuts me off sounding panicked. "Veronica! You had me worried, you didn't answer my text and I was scared something had happened." She says out of breath. "Nothing is wrong I just slept in, that's all. I'll be at school in like twenty minutes. I'll see you there." I tell her not wanting to continue the conversation. I love Alison but I really don't want to talk to anyone right now.
The time says it's 10:17am, which means it's third period. In simpler words, the class I have with Mateo. Letting my head fall into my hands, I stay like that for a couple minutes. Not giving a care in the world, I stand up and pick up some black sweats and a grey sweatshirt. Changing into them I put my hair into a low bun not caring how it looks at all. Before putting my shoes on, I head to the bathroom to brush my teeth.
When I spit out the toothpaste and wipe the excess around my mouth I look at myself in the mirror. It looks like I haven't been sleeping well, although I slept for a couple hours. My eyes look droopy, there's bags beneath them. It just seems like Veronica isn't even here anymore. My body is here but my mind isn't. Just a body standing in front of a mirror.
Nobody.
Rubbing my eyes tiredly, I leave the restroom and slip on my shoes. Grabbing my car keys and my other belongings I step out of my room and go the same way that leads me to my car. Sitting in the car, I don't even bother turning my music on, it seems better to just sit in silence.
Taking my usual path to school, my mind doesn't seem to want to clear up. At this point, I'm mad at myself. Tears accumulate in my eyes with the madness I'm feeling. This is the worst I have ever felt and I feel like there's nothing I can do.
Arriving at the school parking lot I park somewhere else instead of next to Mateo. The tears I've been holding in fall and I can't keep holding it in. Letting everything out is for the best. It just feels like everything is hitting me at once. Christopher. Mateo. I don't know how I'm capable of telling everyone I'm fine when I'm not.
Breathing in deeply and wiping my tears, I turn off the car, get my backpack, and step out. The closer I get to the school my legs start feeling heavy. As if my mind is telling them to turn around and run back to the car. I continue walking, not letting that get to me and I'm relieved when I see no one is wandering the halls.
My footsteps echo around the hallway while I'm walking to class. My heart is beating fast not wanting to face Mateo and everyone else. By the time I'm in front of the closed door, I brace myself before entering. My hand is on the handle but it starts to shake. Just wanting to get it over with, I push open the door and everyone looks to see who has entered the class. I try not to let my eyes wander because I know if I do they'll only connect to those dark mysterious eyes I'm very fond of.
The teacher lets me pass in only with a warning. I send a half smile to the teacher not actually meaning, and start walking to my desk. Looking down at my feet the whole time, I make it to my desk without looking at anyone. Now I just have to make it through class without looking to my left.
I feel Mateo's eyes scanning my face while I look straight ahead. His scent is comforting me without him knowing it. I hope he gets the memo to not talk to me because I will start crying if he talks to me.
A warm hand places itself on my back and my breath hitches. The hand starts rubbing my hand sending me more comfort. Placing the palms of my hands on my eyes trying to let the tears stop from coming, I take a deep breath hoping that calms me down.
"V," he whispers with his deep voice. "I missed you."
I stop breathing for a few seconds and remove my hands from my eyes. I look up at those dark mysterious eyes with shock. He has a small smile on once I look up at him. His eyes soften as he continues to rub my back. He looks different than how he did in my dream. That's when I realized that the real Mateo is the oen in front of me, not the one in my dream.
My mouth opens and closes not knowing how to reply. I missed him so much, but I feel so guilty for yelling at him.
"Let's go to the diner after school so we can talk. If that's fine with you." He tells me softly as if he were to talk any louder he would hurt my ears. I nod at him and turn to face the front of class. Throughout the whole period, he kept his hand placed on my back. He would rub it for a bit and stop when he would get tired. At some point, I put my head on the desk and closed my eyes, sleep was still hovering around my mind and I couldn't fight back.
"Veronica." Someone whispers and I'm able to hear movement around me. I look up and slowly open my eyes, I see everyone standing up from their seats and heading towards their next class. Mateo's sweet face is what I see next. His eyes slowly scan my face as I slowly wake up. Blinking my eyes a few times, I sit back up and stretch my arms. Mateo is standing up next to me holding my backpack in his hand while his is over his shoulder.
We walk out of class side by side not saying a word to each other. It's nice knowing he isn't upset at the fact I yelled at him, but at the same time he should be upset. If I were in his shoes I wouldn't want anyone to scream at me like that. Then again, there's nothing I can do at this point.
Arriving at my locker, he hands me my backpack and I smile at him. "I'll see you at the diner okay?" He says as he puts his hand on my shoulder. Still not wanting to talk, I just nod my head. The next thing he does makes me want to cry. He pulls me into a sweet embrace and holds me tightly. The warmth radiating from his body makes me feel safe. His arms around me makes me feel protected. He makes me feel like someone. He makes me feel like me.
I wrap my arms around his torso and I hug him back tightly. We stay like that for a few seconds more and he starts to pull away. I just want to pull him back and never let go but he needs to get to class.
He looks down at me and smiles, his hand reaches up and places itself on my cheek. I lean into his touch and close my eyes.
I never believed I would have met someone who made me feel like this.
When he starts to remove his hand I open my eyes and clear my throat. Without saying another word he starts to walk down the hall. Staring at his retreating figure, I realize something.
I missed him more than I thought.