Camila's POV
The rest of the day had been quite uneventful. Lauren and the preps ditched class after lunch and have not been seen since. I had a feeling that they would leave. I mean I don't blame them, they're were soaking wet. I just hope that they didn't mistake our prank as warfare like they did last time. But knowing them, they probably have a few more tricks up their sleeves before they let us get away with this. Either way, now we have to be cautions because we aren't the only targets anymore. The outcasts from different groups helped us this time and have now risked their chances of getting hurt because of it. But with more people on our side, we should be fine. Wait. Why the heck am I talking as if were at war? Hypothetically I guess you can assume that. But these simple pranks haven't gotten out of hand yet. And I hope that they don't anytime soon.
At home, Dinah had come over to work on homework together. Just like we had been doing a few months ago, we had been talking about the girl next door.
"So she held you captive in the janitor's closet?" Dinah queered.
"No...she saved me. Again." I said in slight annoyance.
"And what's wrong with that?"
"There's nothing really wrong with it, it's just..." I paused trying to formulate my words, "she always seems to be the one who's saving me. Why can't I ever save her?" I asked Dinah as if she knew the answer.
Dinah furrowed her brows in confusion, in response to my sudden distress. I took a deep breath before I continued "All I want to do is help, and when I try, it's as if all my efforts are in vain. I feel so helpless when I'm around her." I admitted.
"Maybe it's because Lauren's mentally strong. I mean I've never seen the girl cry before. Actually, I've never seen her laugh either. She's as tuff as nails."
"That's not true. She's sensitive too. She just acts like she's not."
"Wait you've seen her cry before?"
"Yeah... But I mean everyone cries. She's just going through a few things right now."
"And you feel like you can't help her?"
"Yeah...ever since I bumped into her, she had saved my life. And she kept saving me over and over again. And she keeps doing it. Whether it's from the preps pranks or their wrath, she always seems to be the one saving me. But the other day, I tried to help her but she was so stubborn. She didn't listen to anything I said. She really refused to talk or even listen to what I had to say. I just feel like I can't get through to her and that makes me feel so helpless. Maybe she is made of steel." I defeatedly shrugged.
"No, I just think that she has a hard time talking about things. You did mention that she mostly shows you how she feels physically right?" Dinah asked recalling a previous conversation that we had.
"Yeah, but she's getting better at expressing herself. I'm just very worried about her you know..." I said furrowing my brows, "I just really don't want her to do something stupid."
"I don't think Lauren would you know..." Dinah hesitated unsure if she should bring up what had almost happened to me. "Lauren's life is too perfect." She continued anyway, "She has everything. Why would she feel the need to do that to herself?"
"Because, even though her life seems perfect now, it wasn't always. Certain things happened in her life that she doesn't even like to mention."
"Like what?" Dinah asked fully intrigued by my last statement.
"It's not really my business to speak."
"Just give me a general idea, I promise I won't tell anyone."
"Dinah, I can't. It's not right."
"Chancho come on, I'm not Darren. I promise I won't blab."
I sighed in defeat, "Fine. But you have to promise me that you'll keep your trap shut." I said extending out my pinky.
"Promise." Dinah said linking our fingers together in a promise.
"Okay...well there's this girl that was in Lauren's life before me and Lo's been having a really hard time forgetting about her. I don't know if it's because she did something to her or because she-"
"-was her first love." Dinah interrupted in realization. "HOLY CRAP. THAT WOULD EXPLAIN EVERYTHING."
"Wait what?"
"This girl-"
"-Cara." I clarified.
"Cara, was probably Lauren's first everything. Maybe she's still in love with her and maybe-"
"-Alright stop there." I interrupted putting my hand up. "Lauren's never been in love before. She told me that she never knew what love was before she met me. The feeling had been alien to her back then. There's no way that girl could have been her first love."
Dinah raised an eyebrow at the thought, "Maybe she lied to you."
The hurt quickly made itself evident on my face. The fact that Dinah even suggested that hit me like a train. I knew that deep down Lauren would never do that to me. She would never lie...at least not about this. "She didn't lie to me." I confidently stated.
"How do you know?"
"Because Lauren's not like that. She's always been honest with me."
"How are you so sure?"
"I'm not but that's not like her."
"Well..."Dinah said shrugging her shoulders, "It's just a theory."
"I know but it's wrong. Lauren would never-"
"-Look. I think that you should confront her about this Cara girl and see what she says. See if her stories overlap and pay attention to her behavior. That's how you'll know if she's lying."
I shook my head in refusal, "I don't need to do that. She won't lie to me. Plus she doesn't like talking about her."
"Why?"
"I don't know. She gets really uncomfortable about it and extremely defensive too. That's why I'm trying to give her space because I really don't want to fight with her anymore."
"How do you expect to save her if you keep letting her push you away?" Dinah questioned annoyed.
?
"You keep saying that you want to save her. And that she's not letting you. But guess what? You're not letting yourself either."
"What do you mean? Haven't you heard how hard I've been trying?"
"That's the key word. Trying. Stop trying and start doing. You're letting her push you away every time you try to help her and you subject to it. And that's your problem. That's why you can't save her."
"But you don't understand. I'm just afraid that if I don't give her space -"
"-she'll hate you?" Dinah finished.
"Yeah. I don't want that Dinah. I can't have her hate me. Not just yet. I just got her and I can't loose her this fast."
"You're not going to loose her. Lauren's too whipped to even think about letting you go."
"She's not whipped."
"Are you kidding me? That girl is so head over heels for you. At school, she stares you down like a hawk. She looks at you as if she's willing to jump in front of a bullet for you. It's really intense."
"What? No she doesn't. She's been ignoring me since last weekend."
"Or so you think."
"Huh?"
"She hasn't been ignoring you Mila. Well, not completely at least. I always notice that she's watching you. Like, she wants to make sure that you're alright. And when she sees that you are, she smiles and continues on with the rest of her day."
"I don't believe you." I stubbornly admitted. "Lauren is not that infatuated with me."
Dinah stifled a chuckle, "Are you fucking serious? You have her wrapped around your finger."
"No I don't." I countered.
"Yes, you do. Didn't you say that she hugged you today?"
"Yeah..." I said unsure where Dinah was going with this.
"And didn't she serenade you a few weeks ago?"
"Yeah but-"
"-but nothing. Lauren Jauregui doesn't hug people. Or god forbid, even sing to people. For one, she doesn't like when people touch her. It's almost as if she thinks she's made of pure gold."
"Well she kind of is."
Dinah shook her head lightly and smiled, "God you're whipped too."
"And you're not?"
"Me?" Dinah almost laughed. "No what the heck."
"But your crazy about Siope aren't you?"
"Crazy? Maybe. But I'm not whipped, if anything he's whipped over me. That's how it's got to be though. I'm the queen."
I chuckled at her response, "Of course, I should have guessed."
"No girl, you should have known. I don't bow down to no boy."
"Good. They're all mostly idiots anyway."
Dinah slapped my arm again.
"Ow. I said mostly."
"You're just saying that because you're as straight as a rainbow."
"No, it's true. Well at least for me."
"They're all not that bad Mila-"
"-If this is you're attempt to turn me straight, please stop."
"What? That's like mission impossible. You're as queer as a three dollar bill."
I laughed. Okay that was funny.
"Can you stop with all the gay jokes. I get it I'm gay."
"Fine. But only because were still not done talking about this." Dinah said in an attempt to bring up the previous topic that we discussed. "You need to stop being a pussy. Go over there. Knock on her door and pry the information out of her pretty little lips."
I sighed, "I can't do that Dinah, I already told you. It's not that easy."
"I think I know what I'm doing. I dealed with you back then, don't you remember?"
"Yeah I do. But don't you remember how much further I pushed you away because of it? Because of the unnecessary pressure you put on me to talk?"
"Oh yeah..." Dinah said nervously scratching the nape of her neck, "I almost forgot about that. You hated me back then, didn't you?"
"Honestly? Yeah. You never left me alone. And it was really annoying at times but back then I didn't understand that all you wanted to do was help. So I hated you for it. You went from being my best friend to someone I barley tolerated. I didn't really get why you would always want to be with me. Especially after all the crap I put you through. And because I didn't understand, I hated you. I wanted you to rid yourself of me. Of the annoyance that was taking over your life. And that's why I pushed you away. Because, I wanted you to be free. But then when I got better, I realized that you didn't want to be free. You wanted to set me free. To set me free from my painful demons because you had been free. And when I understood that, I realized that you never stopped being the best friend that I loved." I finished with a half smile.
Dinah had this face eating grin on her face. She looked as if she wanted to cry but the curve threatening to curl on her mouth deceived me. "I love you, you big loser." Dinah finally said before she engulfed me in a huge hug. "I didn't know that you understood. All that time, I thought that you had been mad at me for something else. Why didn't you ever tell me?"
I shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know. I guess I thought you knew."
"Heck no. To this day I still wondered why you ignored me back then. I always thought that you hated me. Until one day, at the treatment centre, you talked to me." Dinah smiled remembering the memory, "It was the first time you had spoken to me in months and when I heard your voice speak to me, I literately wanted to ball my eyes out."
"But you didn't right?" I asked remembering the moment.
"No. But only because I didn't want you to see me like that." Dinah admitted.
I pulled away from our hug and grasped her hand, "I'm sorry. I don't think I ever apologized to you, so better late then never right?" She nodded in confirmation, "I'm sorry Cheechee. I was an idiot back then. And we should've talked about this earlier. Because since then, theres been a patch in our friendship and I've just been avoiding it. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Forgive me for ignoring you when all you were trying to do was help. And for rejecting your love every time you tried to help me remember that I was worth living for. "
Dinah tried to hold back the smile that was forming on her face,"I already forgave you, you dummy."
"When?" I asked surprised, pulling away from our hug to look at her.
"The day you decided to speak to me again."
I smiled at her words before I playfully shoved her shoulder. "Enough, you're going to make my heart implode."
"Isn't that Lauren's job?"
"It is. Watch out, she's the jealous type."
"Oh, I'm not afraid of no preppy jerk.
But shoot she can have you, I already got my bae."
I shook my head lightly at her response before her phone vibrated.
She slid it out of her pocket and stared at it, "Ugh Ally's already here to pick me up."
"What? No, tell her to go away."
"Why so you can stall with me and avoid fifth shades?"
"Yeah." I said nonchalantly. "Isn't that why you came over?"
Dinah rolled her eyes before she gave my shoulder a little shove, "Shut up. Whether you'd like to admit it or not, you would've never gotten through that calc homework without me." Dinah beamed.
I couldn't deny that. Calc was hard, okay.
"Fine. But that doesn't mean that I wasn't using you to stall."
"Touché. But guess what?"
"What?" I asked her as she got up to gather her things.
"You're screwed either way now because my rides here."
I felt my stomach begin to turn inside out at the thought that I would be seeing Lauren in less than a few minutes with Dinah's ideas circling through my head.
"Do you really have to go? I mean my moms baking cake later." I said in an attempt to make her stay.
"She is?" Dinah said instantly giving her undivided attention to me.
"Well, no but I can tell her too?" I suggested.
Dinah shook her head amusingly and swung her bag over her shoulder, "Nice try Mila, I'll see you tomorrow okay? Good luck. " Dinah said before she completely made her way out of my room.
When I heard my front door close, I ran straight to my window and yelled, "I really hate you! You know that?!"
Dinah turned around with a smile threatening to creep onto her face, "No you don't." She said before she scrunched up her nose and stuck her tongue out at me. I shook my head amusingly as she got into the passenger seat. Ally smiled and waved at me before she put her foot on the gas and was off.
--
Thirty minutes later, I was still contemplating whether I should go over or not. I knew that if I did, Lauren would not hesitate to tie me up to her bed and take me. Because once I step into her den that she calls her "home", I am no longer in my territory but hers. And from what Ive experienced, she will not think twice in her own home before shoves her tongue down my throat. The last time I went over, we almost had sex in her living room. I mean not that I would mind, but that's so disrespectful. But then again, I'm dealing with Lauren Jauregui here. Nothing is disrespectful to her. She would have sex in a sanctuary if she could. Either way though, I had to go over and take my chances because she had been expecting me. And a part of me also wanted to check up on her. Since the party she's been kind of disoriented, and I just needed to make sure that she wasn't up to something stupid.
I shook my head lightly before I grabbed my phone on my dresser and texted her that I was on my way. She didn't respond back immediately, but I didn't take it to heart. I presumed she was busy doing something else. Or at least that's what I hoped.
I slipped my phone into my jean pocket and made my way towards the front door. When I did I noticed that my mom had been sitting in the living room watching TV, with a cup of coffee sitting between her lips. She took small sips out of it as her eyes focused on the news being portrayed in front of her. I slowly walked towards the door and when I had successfully gotten there, my hand trembled over the door knob. I carefully placed my hand over it and began to turn it and as I pulled the door towards me, I heard my mothers voice from behind, "Karla, where do you think you're going?"
I felt my body tense up in fear. With my back facing her, I managed to say, "Over to Lauren's..."
"For what? You're grounded, don't you remember?"
"Yeah...but it's important Mama."
"Why? I thought you and Lauren finished your project weeks ago?"
"We did." I said turning around to look at her glaring eyes.
"Then why are you going to see her?" She asked before a light bulb went off in her head, "Wait, are you two friends now? I didn't know you two were friends." She smiled at the thought of it.
"We're something like that." I shrugged with a half smile.
Her smile grew. "Good. I'm really glad that you're starting to get along with her."
"Wait, so does this mean that I can go over?"
Her lips formed into a hard line as she cocked her head to one side and thought. "I guess it does." She said meeting my eyes. "but don't think you're off the hook yet missy. This is an exception because I think this could be good for you."
Good for me? How?
"Wait, why do you say that?"
"Well, because I know how hard it was for you back then and I just want you to expose yourself to more friends so you don't-"
"I'm not going to fall apart again, mama. I told you, I'm fine now. And I have a lot of really good friends too."
"I know Mija. I know. But trust me my motherly instincts just tell me that this relationship will be good for you."
I smiled like an idiot because my mother had been so clueless. She had not known that Lauren and I have already started to build something beyond friendship. And the simple idea that my mother had wished for nothing more than for us to be friends, surprised me. But what it did the most was comfort me because I didn't know that my mother had seen the good in Lauren too.
I smiled and nodded my head before I went through the door. I took a deep breath before I walked off of my porch and onto hers. I rang the door bell with no hesitation this time and waited patiently. After a few seconds, I heard footsteps coming towards the door. And before I knew it, I was met by Lauren's little sister, Taylor. The brunette had looked as if she had just came out of swimming practice. Her hair had been damp and hanging off her right shoulder. She wore her Bal Harbor warm up jacket and sweats. Her feet were bare. She was make up less and was definitely a dead ringer for Lauren. Like her older sister she didn't need the extra pampering to look good but so didn't the rest of her family.
Hesitantly, I met her gaze.
She cocked her brown up at me in surprise, "Bows?"
"Uh...hi." I managed to utter under her intense gaze.
"What are you doing here?"
"I came to talk to Lauren." I bluntly stated.
"My sister?" Taylor asked still astonished that I had been standing right before her asking to speak to the queen bee herself.
"Yes. Your sister, Lauren."
"For what?"
"To talk to her." I stated again.
"I thought you guys finished your project weeks ago?"
"We did."
"Then why do you need to see her?"
"Because..." I said trying to find a good reason to get past the brunette. "I have some homework that she needs to turn in tomorrow."
"And why can't you just give it to her tomorrow?" Taylor continued to question me.
"I'm not going to show up tomorrow-"
"-Why?"
Jesus Christ can she just let me finish.
"-because I have an appointment."
She glared at me suspiciously, "Then where's the homework? I don't see a back pack on your back."
"I have it in my email." I quickly said.
"How come?"
"They were essays that I had to write for her."
"Can't you just send them to her then?"
"I could, but I want to make sure that they're good enough. She kind of gave me a vauge topic to go off and I just really want to make sure that I did what she wanted."
She continued to watch me closely. I felt my body tense under her intense gaze. I didn't know she was this intense. I never met Taylor before but I always knew who she was. She had never been mean to me either but she was apart of the jocks. So I was actually surprised that she even knew my name. But what I didn't get was why she was asking so many questions. What did she know?
After a short silence she stepped aside and said, "Alright Bows, you can come in but I think she's sleeping. You can wake her up though. I don't really care. If she gets mad, tell her Chris let you in okay?"
I smiled at her appreciatively. "Okay, thank you." I said before I walked through the door. I was going to make my way upstairs but I heard Taylor's voice again.
"Oh and by the way, if you're planing to you know, tell Lauren to easy it down because Pretty little lairs is on down here and I'd really like to hear it."
I felt my cheeks turn red as the hairs stood up in the back of my neck. I turned to meet a smirking Jauregui looking back at me. I quickly got myself together and managed to say, "Uh-okay."
Taylor shook her head lightly before she walked into the living room. I exasperatedly sighed before I continued to make my way upstairs. I tried my best to ignore Taylor's comment as I approached Lauren's room and when I did, I slowly opened the door. I walked in and gently closed the door behind me. Lauren had been sleeping peacefully with her back faced towards me. Her beautiful locks spread across her back and comforter as her chest moved up and down. Her right hand tightly clenched onto her own pillow. As I got closer to her, I noticed that she was not the sleeping beauty that I thought she was, her brows had been tightly furrowed in fear and her body was drenched in sweat.
"Stop." Lauren muttered closing her eyes tightly, "Stop doing that. I don't.... I don't want too...I don't..." She muttered again.
"Lo?" I softly said, before I sat next to her and placed my hand on her cheek.
She instantly gasped at my touch and pulled away. She grunted her teeth, "Don't... don't touch me." She muttered in hatred.
I felt myself back away in surprise. I knew that she wasn't talking to me but who could she be dreaming about?
I ignored my own thoughts and shook her body, "Lo, wake up, I think you're having a bad dream."
She mumbled a bit before she fluttered her eyes open. When she met my eyes she instantly jumped up.
"Fuck." She said holding onto her chest.
I put a supportive hand on her shoulder, "Are you alright?"
She shook her head lightly as she hid her face from me. "God dammit." She breathed before she met my eyes. "I can't even..." Lauren said knitting her brows together in shock, "I can't even sleep without seeing her."
I felt my blood slightly boil when Dinah's idea ran through my head. But even though the thought of Lauren lying to me hurt, I knew that it couldn't be the case. It didn't make sense. Lauren's mutters didn't connect to the idea of Cara being her first love. Because after all, Lauren had always expressed so much hate towards her. Her expressions, behavior and voice had always been expressed in anger. She hated her. She really did so she couldn't of have been in love with her.
I softened my expression and wrapped my arms around her. "You're not there anymore. You're here, with me. I'm not going to let her hurt you."
Lauren closed her year stained eyes and shook her head, "I'm sorry Camz."
"For what?"
"For having to deal with this." She said pulling away. "I know that I'm always bi polar. And that I'm becoming a handful but if you don't want to deal with me anymore-"
"No Lauren." I quickly interrupted. " it's fine," I said caressing her cheek."I love dealing with you. It makes me feel as if I'm helping you."
"But you do help me Camz."
"I do?" I almost gasped.
"Yeah, you always know how to calm me down."
"But..but...half of the time I don't even know what to say."
"That's what I like about you though..." Lauren said with a smile threatening to form on her face, "You don't over think things. And most of the time, you say the right things because of it."
"Most of the time?" Camila queered.
"Yeah," Lauren smirked, "When you don't, you say the cutest things. Or you get really flustered and it's adorable."
"Really?" I questioned suprised that she had felt that way.
"Yeah really, you dork."
I felt a huge smile form on my face.
"See you're doing it again. Ugh."
"What? I'm just smiling."
"No you're being cute. Stop it."
"Why?"
"Because, I'm trying so hard not to jump your bones right now."
"Oh." I said feeling my cheeks blush.
"Ugh..." Lauren groaned holding onto her head as if she had a headache. "What did you come here for again?"
"Uh..." I said unsure if I should bring up the real reason why I came.
"Oh that's right." Lauren smirked. "We were supposed to finish what we started."
I choked on air. How the hell can she recover this quickly?!
"But aren't you like not in the mood anymore because of you're dream?"
Lauren furrowed her brows and shook her head.
Crap.
"No." Lauren answered dryly. "I'm trying to forget about it okay? Let's just pretend that it never happened."
"..."
"Please Camz."
I sighed in defeat, "Fine."
"Good. Now come here." She said patting her thigh as she leaned against the head board of her bed.
"Excuse me?" I said shocked that she had wanted to shift gears so quickly.
"I said, come here." She said a bit more sternly.
Without a thought, I did what she said. I crawled over to her and straddled her waist. Suddenly her arms snaked around my waist and roughly pulled me into her body. My arms reflexively went around her neck. I felt my breath hitch as I felt our bodies so close together. Her dark emerald eyes stared back into mine as our foreheads pressed against one another.
"Lo..."
"Yeah?" She asked licking her lips.
"You're sister is down stairs." I notified her.
"I know." She smirked.
"It's not safe..."
"She won't know... not if were quiet." Lauren smiled as her fingertips found their way down my lower back.
I arched my body in response to her touch. I clenched my teeth to keep an unwanted sound from escaping my lips.
"See? You got this. I didn't even get a whimper out of you." Her voice husked.
I felt my breathing become heavier as her lips hovered over mine. "Lauren, I don't think this is a good idea-"
"-but you promised me..." Lauren said with a pouting lip.
"I know..." I said in defeat.
"I missed you Camz. Those two days were torture and I just need to get it out of my system."
"Are you sure that you're not just horny?"
"I'm always horny." Lauren stated bluntly. "We haven't had sex since your birthday. It's felt like an eternity."
"It's only been about a few weeks..."
"Yeah, well for me, that's a new record."
I shook my head lightly. "Record? Really? Well I guess you'll have to keep waiting then."
"Wait what?" Lauren asked with full concern in her voice.
"I kind of want to see how long you can last." I playfully said.
"Well not long enough."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah." She said tightening her hold on me. "According to my estimation.." Lauren said looking down at her fake watch. " I have about...a minute before I pin you to this mattress and take you."
I felt my cheeks turn crimson. I didn't want her to see how flustered she had made me so I hid face.
"Look at me." She demanded.
What? No. I don't want to come just yet.
"Camz, I said to look at me." She said placing her index finger under my chin to tilt my head up.
"Better." Lauren half smiled before her eyes wandered to my lips. She bit her own as she contained herself from connecting them. I could tell that it was difficult for her. Her breathing was becoming uneasy, and her hands had been gripping the skin on my lower back. Her nails dug into my skin gently as she began to add pressure on them. Her green orbs met mine and just stared at me with the upmost intensity. I had seen it. The desire had been lingering in those emerald eyes. She wanted me. I could feel it. And I wanted her too. She knew that. What was she waiting for then? With each second that past, I felt our breathing get heavier. The skin beneath her touch burn. The pain in my chest tighten. And the fabric beneath that part of me growing damper.
Lauren tilted her head as if she was going to connect our lips but stopped a few centimeters away to breath, "Times up."
!
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