An average slow day at the 12th precinct homicide department. Ryan and Espo POV.
Tags: Humor, Friendship
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"What time is it?" Esposito questioned between a groan and a sigh.
Ryan checked his watch for the 20th consecutive time "Still 10" he said before leaning back in his chair as far back as he could without tipping the seat over.
Esposito tried not to groan again "Man this sucks. Why'd Beckett have to get sick. I forgot how boring it was without Castle around, spouting all his nonsense" he said.
"Mhmm" Ryan nodded in agreement "You know what, they're probably off playing hooky somewhere" he scoffed "Leaving us to deal with all this work by ourselves. Bastards" he muttered.
Esposito cracked the slightest smile "Yeah.. Those two are the horniest people I've ever met, and I was in the military with a buncha guys for 4 years" he said.
Ryan snorted "Truer words have never been uttered" he said then sighed "So you got plans tonight?" he asked, tilting his head to his partner lazily.
Esposito shrugged "I was thinking about asking Lanie if she wanted to go to dinner. But it's been kinda weird with us lately" he said.
Ryan rolled his eyes "It's been 'weird' for years now. Why don't you grow a pair and just tell her how you feel already" he said, annoyed.
He scoffed "Whatever bro, do you have a point?" he questioned.
Ryan decided to put a pin on the argument..for now.
"Jenny's making her world famous meatloaf tonight. Figured you might want some. Plus, SG's been asking about her favorite uncle again" he admitted.
Esposito couldn't help but smile "I guess I could make it. How's Sarah Grace and Nicholas doing?" he asked.
"Good. Just the other day Sarah counted up to 30 and only missed a few numbers. And Nicholas is growing up so fast, he can crawl around all day and still be full of energy" he said proudly.
Esposito shook his head, amused. His phone chimed indicating a text. He fished it out of his pocket to read it.
"LT wants the file from last week's case" he said, turning to face Ryan "Roshambo over who has to go send it?" he tried.
"No no no, I'm not falling for that again. He texted you. So, you do it" he said.
"That's cold bro. You used to be fun" he grumbled as he stood up and left to grab the file.
"You're just salty cuz Lanie probably had you sleeping on the couch again" Ryan said, intentionally trying to get under his partner's skin.
It worked when Esposito flipped him off without bothering to turn around. Ryan smiled to himself as he picked up a pencil from his cup of stationary and took out his notepad, doodling as he waited for Esposito's return.
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They're now in the break, talking over their third cup of coffee.
Esposito hummed as he placed his cup aside "What about...an assassin who's terrible at his job, but somehow still manages to get it done by either sheer luck or pure incompetence" he said.
Ryan nodded "I'd read that book. It's a fun twist to the typical and-let's face it-overused trope. He needs to have a cool name though like...Ken Reynolds" he said.
Esposito laughed out loud "Wow, you thought you were being so subtle huh? Ken Reynolds is the stupidest and least creative assassin name I've ever heard" he said.
Ryan frowned "What's wrong with a name like Ken Reynolds?" he questioned.
"For one, you clearly just tried to make him your alter ego. Emphasis on the ego" he said, then continued before Ryan could protest "And second, isn't Ken Barbie's boyfriend's name?" he reasoned.
Ryan smirked "How would you know that?" he questioned.
Esposito scowled "I don't live under a rock" he reasoned "But unlike you, I don't have a Barbie dream house" he said.
"Hey, that's for SG and you know it" Ryan protested "And since you're so great at naming, what would you name him?" he questioned.
"Easy, Xavier. One word and to the point" he stated.
"And that isn't a alter ego?" he questioned, shaking his head in disbelief.
"Hey, Xavier is a lot better than Ken Reynolds. When people think of Xavier, they picture someone badass and mysterious. When people think of Ken Reynolds, they picture an accountant, a nerd" he said.
"Really? Cuz when I think Xavier, I think male stripper" Ryan said.
"Just cuz you've got strippers on the brain cuz of your side gig, doesn't mean everyone else will" Esposito reasoned "Let's face it, Ken Reynolds is a boring and generic ass name that no one would remember" he added.
"Which makes it perfect for him to blend in" Ryan reasoned.
Esposito scoffed "In a law firm, maybe" he said.
A knock on the break room door interrupted Ryan's argument. When they turned to look, they saw an officer standing at the door.
"Sorry to interrupt, Vikram said he has the overtime sheet. Captain said to have one of you help make sure none of the shifts overlap" he said.
"Not it" Esposito said quickly making Ryan frown.
"What happened to roshambo?" he questioned.
"That method died in the records room when you made me get that file" he said simply as he picked up his cup of coffee and drank, gesturing for him to go ahead.
Ryan pouted but went ahead anyway.
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It's now well after noon and the boys decided to let off some steam at the gym. After changing into their gym clothes, they each went about their own workout.
Ryan was hitting the punching bag when he saw his partner doing one handed push ups.
He rolled his eyes "You know there aren't any ladies here right? You don't have anyone to impress" he said.
Esposito scoffed, switching arms mid push up "You're just jealous cuz women take one look at your scrawny ass and laugh" he said.
Ryan frowned, looking at his biceps and flexing "I'm not scrawny" he protested and went to the bars to do pull ups to prove it.
Esposito wasn't impressed. Getting back on his feet, he went to the other unoccupied bars and climbed so he was dangling upside down and started doing sit ups. Ryan immediately copied him.
After about 30 minutes of trying to one up each other, they were both panting and sweating. Ryan was now on the floor while Esposito laid down on the bench.
"God we're old" Ryan panted.
Esposito just laughed, too tired to tease his partner.
"Truce?" Ryan suggested, trying not to cough.
Esposito nodded "Truce" he agreed.
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It's finally the end of their shift. After spending most of the day arguing about nothing and doing the bare minimum, they could finally head home. They had showered and changed out of their gym clothes and are refreshed after a nice cold shower. But they knew that they will feel the soreness soon. Right now it didn't matter.
"You're still coming over for dinner, right?" Ryan asked.
Esposito nodded "Wouldn't miss it" he assured then checked his phone and frowned.
"What?" he asked.
"I just feel kinda bad.. Lanie had to cancel her dinner plans with Beckett and she just texted asking if I was free tonight" he said.
Ryan paused "Why don't you invite her over" he offered.
Esposito turned to him "You sure bro? Feels rude not to give Jenny a bit of a headsup" he asked.
Ryan smiled "You kidding? Jenny Ryan is always prepared. She's making more than enough, I can promise you that. Just invite her over, it'll be fun" he added.
Esposito couldn't help but smile "Okay, but we'll have to see if Lanie's okay with it" he sad as he texted Lanie while they made their way towards the elevator and Ryan pressed the down button.
"We can even have a redo of that double date" Ryan joked.
Esposito stopped texting and turned to narrow his eyes at his partner who immediately raised his hands as a sign of surrender.
"I'm kidding" he said just as the elevator doors opened and they stepped inside.
Esposito's phone chimed, making him turn his attention away from the younger man.
"Lanie's in" he said.
"Great, I'll let Jenny know so she won't bring up marriage" he said.
That one earned him a solid smack on the back of the head from Esposito. But Ryan simply smiled sheepishly as he texted Jenny to let her know about their extra guest.
Worth it.
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Yay, I love those two clowns. Their bromance is sometimes better than the romance on the show. Sometimes. So, thoughts?