I could see the hurt written on Mari's face.
I told her all about my mother and sister, and to be honest, it felt good to finally let it all out. I did talk about it with my dad, but not that often, only because I didn't want to worry him and also because of my mother threatening me if I did something about it.
Mari gently stroked my hand as we were swinging back and forth on the wooden swing by the lake. I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and took a deep breath, closing my eyes and just enjoying this now peaceful moment. I couldn't help but let myself cry as I was remembering all the harsh words or doings by my mother and sometimes my sister.
My sister was never physical with me. She has never hit me or hurt me in any way. She did that with words, and it was not easy taking it from her. From my mother I could take it, I didn't care about her that much, I knew from a young age that I wouldn't get the love that a mother should give to her child, but from my sister it was painful.
I loved my sister. I looked up to her until I came to know her true colors. We were always close when we were kids. Even though my mother showed her hate towards me since I remember, my sister and dad weren't like that.
Caterina would protect me when my mother would hurt me. She would stay in my room with me while I was crying and questioning why my mom doesn't love me. She would always secretly play with me when my mom wasn't around or near to scold her about spending time with me. She was always there for me until that changed.
I can't remember when exactly she started being distant from me, but the more we grew up the more she started acting like our mother towards me. And once again I was questioning what is so wrong with me to be treated like this by the people I love.
I felt a new wave of tears filling my eyes as painful memories started filling my head.
Flashback
"Clean the table and the dishes, and don't you dare put the dishes in the washer, I want them sparkling and clean by your hands" my mother ordered me after finishing with her dinner. I nodded and went to collect the plates and glasses from the table that she and my sister left. I put them in the sink and start washing them.
As I reached for the soapy glass that needs to be rinsed with water, it slipped from my hand and fell on the floor now shattered into million pieces. I quickly squat down to pick up the pieces but hear someone entering the kitchen.
"What the hell are you doing?!" my mother yelled.
"I-I'm sorry...I accidentally broke the glass" I quietly reply, not daring to look up at her.
"You are unbelievable. Do you know how much that costs?!" she yelled again. I didn't move, scared to do anything even though I wanted to talk back. I mean it's just a glass, does she have to be like that over such a small thing. But I kept quiet, I didn't want to get into more trouble by my talking.
I wish my dad is here. This wouldn't be happening if he was at home. She never dared act like this towards me when he is around.
"You are good for nothing" she hissed. "You're not even capable of cleaning the dishes, you annoying brat," she said as she stepped on my hand, the pieces of glass digging into my skin and coloring them red.
I winced but she didn't move, she only stepped harder making tears swell in my eyes. "Clean this mess up, that's the only thing you're good at" she let out and walked out of the kitchen. I felt a tear slide down my cheek as I plucked the pieces out of my skin. I collected them all and threw them in the trash. I opened a cabinet and took the first aid kit and treated my hand. At this point, I knew what I should do when cleaning wounds and cuts, I had a lot of them and they all came from her.
After washing the rest of the dishes and cleaning the kitchen floor, I went upstairs and into my bedroom, closing myself in so I could cry myself to sleep.
End of flashback
I looked at my hand, seeing the little scars on it from that night. That incident was nothing compared to what she sometimes did to me. And I don't know what was worst, her physical or mental abuse. Either way, both left scars.
I wiped my cheeks again and looked over at Mari. She looked at the lake with a distant gaze. This all came like a surprise to her, she couldn't believe that that kind of parent exists, but for me, it wasn't so shocking. Maybe it's because I was used to it, I became numb. But I understand why she reacted like this. She loves children and she loved taking care of other children because she couldn't have hers. She explained that's the reason she is so close to Lorenzo, she loves him as she would love her own children if she could have them. And that's why she couldn't understand how can someone treat their child like that.
"Some people really don't deserve children," she said squeezing my hand. "And the ones that do, can't have them" she whispered and wiped the tear that escaped her eye.
I turned towards her and hugged her. "Thank you" I whispered. I barely know this woman, but just from this little time we spent she showed me more care than my mother ever did, and I felt the need to thank her for it.
"Always honey, I'll be always here for you, you hear me? Anything you need, you come to me" she cupped my cheeks and I nodded bringing a smile to her face.
"It's almost time for dinner. Would you like anything special for me to make?" she asked and I shook my head. "You can make anything you want, I know it's going to be delicious. Do you want me to help?" I asked standing up to follow her to the house.
"No honey, you stay here and enjoy. I'll come to get you when dinner's ready" she smiled and gently pushed me back down on the swing before entering the house.
I sighed and closed my eyes, feeling the wind caress my skin and putting me to sleep.
...
I grab the plates and walk towards the kitchen, helping Mari after dinner. "You don't have to do that honey" Mari took the plate from my hand that I was about to wash and put in the dishwasher. "Here, it's easier like this" she smiled and put everything that needs to be washed in the dishwasher as well.
"I will go home earlier today if that's fine with you," Mari asked and I nodded. "Of course it is. Please don't stay long only for me, I can manage by myself".
"Okay honey, I will see you tomorrow then" she smiled and hugged me. I walked her to the door and closed it behind her as she walked away, wishing each other good night.
I turned around and went back to the living room.
"What should I do now?" I speak to myself, looking around the room. I walk towards the stairs, I'm just gonna go to my room and read something.
When I reached the stairs, I took one step and then looked at the set of stairs that lead to the basement. I know Lorenzo said I can't go to any of the rooms except mine, but curiosity got the best of me.
Curiosity also killed the cat Aria.
I sighed and turned around to go downstairs. When I reached the last step, there were big glass doors that showed Lorenzo's gym. I was surprised but also amazed. He has his own personal gym.
I walked towards the door and opened them, stepping into the gym. It was big and fully equipped. I turned full 360 and saw another door at the end of the gym. I walked towards it and slowly opened it. Behind the door is an indoor pool and jacuzzi. The room was dimly lighted with only small circle lights by the side of the pool.
I blindly searched for the light switcher, my hand traveling on the wall until I felt something and pushed it. But the lights didn't turn on. I gasped as I was watching the roof opening and the glass walls coming down, making the indoor pool now outdoor one.
I want to take a swim but I'm not sure if Lorenzo would like that if he found out. I sighed and felt the wind blow my hair out of my face so I pushed the button again and closed the room as well as the walls and turned around to leave.
I went to the living room and looked at the clock. 8:00 pm.
I could take a quick swim if I go there now. Lorenzo said he will be home late so maybe I could swim for some time before he gets back.
I went up to my bedroom to get my swimsuit. I quickly put it on and run downstairs to the swimming pool. I push the door open and walk towards the little steps that go into the pool. The water is warm and relaxing. I dive in, making my long hair wet. When I swim up to the surface I turn on my back and just float for some time.
I remember the first time I learned how to swim, I wanted to become a professional swimmer and start taking lessons, but of course, I wasn't allowed. I took a deep breath, diving in again and swimming underwater from one end of the pool to the other.
When I got to the edge my heart dropped to my stomach. I slowly lift my eyes from the black shiny shoes, following the tick long legs covered in dark grey dress pants, then firm and strong chest slowly moving as he breathed in and out and finally locking eyes with nonother than Lorenzo.
"What the hell are you doing?" he slowly asked. I looked down, not capable to keep eye contact no matter how hard I try. "I...I-i..." the words stuck in my throat, I didn't know what to tell him, I could see my hands shaking as I was holding on to the edge of the pool.
"Just get out and go to your fucking room" he hissed giving me a cold stare. I quickly climbed the steps and walked towards the door.
"Where do you think you're going like that!" he shouted and I stopped in my track turning towards him. "To-to my room" I whispered. He looked me up and down slowly, making me uncomfortable. I'm in a two-piece black bikini that I usually don't wear since I'm not that confident in my body, but it was the first one I could find and I thought he wouldn't be back yet.
You just had to swim...
"Are you crazy?! Don't you dare walk out of here like this" he showed towards my body with his hand. "All wet, you are going to ruin my floor by the time you get to your room" he shook his head and went towards a small door I didn't even notice by now. He opened it and pulled out a towel.
"What are you waiting for, come here and take it" he said and put one hand into his pocket while the other held out the towel. I slowly walked towards him, watching him as he doesn't look away from my body.
How could I forget my towel? Idiot.
I grabbed the end of the towel but he didn't let go of it. He tugged the towel towards him making me bump into his chest. I shyly looked up at him, realizing how tall he actually is from this close. I had to tilt my head I little, he was almost a head taller than me.
"What did I say about snooping around? Hm? Do you want to get punished? Should I do that?" he whispered leaning down a little, our nose almost touching from this proximity.
"I-I'm sorry...it won't happen again" I looked down, taking a small step back so we're not this close anymore. But he put his other arm around my waist and pulled me back in harshly, making me put my hands on his chest for support.
I blushed at the closeness and the feel of his muscles under my hands.
I wish I could feel them without this shirt being in the way.
Wait, what?! No! I can't think about him like that. I can't!
He smirked at my reaction and loosened his hold on me. "It better not," he said finally letting go of me and allowing me to leave the room.
I ran up the stairs and into my room, closing and locking the door before taking a deep breath. I can't believe what just happened. I shook the embarrassing feeling and went to take a shower before going to bed.
"How the hell am I going to face him after this".