POV: Lark
My heart was pounding in my chest.
Before tonight I had been resolved to keep my feelings to myself. As much as it was going to hurt, I had planned to tell Luka that the kiss was a mistake; even if that was the furthest from the truth of what I actually felt.
But hearing Greyson's poem and seeing the way he was looking at me tonight... lit something in my chest that I don't think I had felt for a long time.
Courage.
Even though Grey and I weren't touching, we still sat close together. The velvet fabric soft and comforting beneath my fingers. The last poet of the night was up on stage and I couldn't focus on anything she was saying.
All I could think about was this electricity that I had felt ever since Greyson sat back down and I whispered in his ear. He hadn't said anything. Just... looked at me with earnest hope.
I loved him.
I loved all of them.
I might have been the most selfish person alive, but I couldn't bring myself to care anymore. We spent nine years apart. Nine years where they could have easily given up on me or forgotten about me.
But this tether that formed all those years ago refused to break.
Stealing a glance at Grey, I realized that he wasn't watching the performance either. He was watching me. So intensely that it made me flinch a little and that electricity I had felt between us was starting to creep up my body.
"I need some air. Can we go outside, please?" I asked him quietly.
Without a word he got up and took my hand. Leading me outside and to the alleyway next to the café. The back door was cracked open and the smell of coffee and tea wafted outside.
I rest my back against the brick wall, shutting my eyes for a moment and appreciating the coolness of the night air on my skin. When I opened them back up, Greyson was a mirror image of me on the opposite wall of the alley.
His eyes weren't closed though. They were still on me. He opened his mouth before shutting it quickly again. Then he seemed to decide something. "Are you alright?". The question didn't sound right as it left his mouth. Almost like he wanted to say or ask something else.
I was having a similar debate in my head. I wanted to say, I love you. What came out instead was, "Just overwhelmed. It was getting warm in there".
A muscle in his jaw clenched and he folded his arms across his chest. He hadn't brought his jacket outside and the dark blue t-shirt he was wearing gave me an excellent view of his biceps as he moved.
He knew that wasn't the whole truth.
That courage I started to feel inside Birdie's found its way back to the forefront of my mind. "I love you", I whispered. Hoping that the sounds from the café and the street would drown out my confession.
Greyson seemed to go completely still for a second and his features shifted into an expression of shock and then disbelief. "What did you say?".
I had a feeling he knew what I said. He just wanted me to say it again.
"I love you, Greyson".
His body moved off the wall in a motion so fluid it surprised me. He was standing before me, my back pressing against the wall as he brought both of his hands up to the sides of my face.
He now looked at me with... devotion.
"I have loved you since the day I met you, Lark". Before I could respond his lips were on mine and any words I wanted to stay were swallowed by that current of electricity.
My arms circled his neck as I brought him closer to me. The push and pull of our mouths felt rushed- as if we had both been waiting for this moment and couldn't hold back any longer. But it also felt unhurried- as if that waiting made us want to savor every single second.
His hands fell from my face, slowly sliding down the sides of my body until they rested firmly at my hips. The pressure of his fingers felt delicious, causing me to gasp quietly. His responding groan made me bite his lip softly, tugging on his hair as I attempted to bring our bodies closer.
His hands slid down further until they were grabbing my ass and the moan he let out inspired me to wrap my legs around his waist. He positioned me against the wall easily and the new position brought my core closer to him.
I could feel how hard he was underneath his jeans which only caused us both to become more frantic.
The bruising nature of the kiss was offset by the softness of his lips and the way he held my body as if he couldn't get enough. When he pulled back, I tried to chase his lips but he gave my ass a squeeze that had my head tilting back against the brick and my eyes fluttering shut.
When I opened them again he looked at me from hooded eyelids.
"As much as I want to keep kissing you, we should probably stop before things get out of control". He spoke quietly, but didn't attempt to hide the wanting from his voice.
I unwrapped my legs from his waist and he set me back on the ground. With one arm braced against the wall blocking my view of the street, he raised his other hand to brush my hair back from my face.
"You have no idea how long I've wanted to that".
I gave him a small smile. "I think I do".
We were quiet for a moment. Just appreciating each other's presence.
"I know that... I know you kissed Luka too".
My body stiffened. Preparing for the rejection that was likely going to accompany that sentence. Fuck. How could I be so naïve to think that I wouldn't have to face consequences for the way I felt about all of them.
His next words caught me completely off guard.
"I'm okay with that. In fact, I'm happy that you felt comfortable enough to kiss us both. After everything you've been through, we just want you to enjoy your life. No matter how you choose to do it".
I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out.
Did that mean they all felt that way? Even Colt and Aidan?
Grey must have realized where my thoughts had gone because he gave me an understanding look. "We love you. I don't care that I'm speaking for everyone right now because it's true. You are our home and we have been waiting to come back to you since the day you were taken from us".
Warm tears slipped from my eyes as I took in what he was saying.
"But Aidan and Colt... they both are in relationships. I can't just expect them to give that up to what... to share me with you and Luka? How would this even work, Grey?". The hope I felt at his words started to turn sour as I thought about my question.
"They love you. They just are too afraid to say it and they needed a distraction from that feeling of having a part of yourself missing. I know that sounds awful, and I do think they both have genuine feelings for Taylor and Liz. But they don't love them. You coming back into our lives has made them face that. Colt has only been on one date with Taylor since that first day you came to our place. Same with Aidan and Liz".
His words made that sour feeling dissipate slightly but I still had my doubts. It also felt wrong. I can't just tell them how I feel when they are still in relationships with other people. I'm not that kind of person.
"Grey I can't just force them to choose me. That's not fair to Taylor or Liz. As much as it hurts to see Aidan and Colt with them I'm not going to tell them how I feel... it just. It doesn't feel right".
He nodded his head, although he looked slightly begrudged to agree with me.
"And even if they weren't in relationships I can't be with all of you. That isn't fair to you guys. You all deserve so much more than that".
I dropped my eyes from his, shame starting to creep into my heart.
What did that say about me? That I wanted four guys. That I loved four guys and had no plans to choose between them. I couldn't do that. Not when they were all so different and yet so special to me.
Ever since the trial, I had been trying to separate myself from the girl I was in captivity to the woman I wanted to be now. But what if Gio's training and his assignments turned me into something I didn't want to be. Maybe Gio was right and I was the whore he always told me I was.
"Don't", he said as he gripped my chin lightly. "You don't get to decide what we deserve. That is our choice. I can tell you right now I choose you. And I will choose you every single day. You are more than your past, Lark".
His words brought fresh tears to my eyes and I leaned into his chest to calm the wave of emotion that was threatening to spill over. Wrapping his arms around me, he spoke gently in my ear.
"We see the way you flinch when someone you don't know gets too close to you when we're out in public. We know that you sleep in Colt's room to avoid feeling suffocated by silence once the sun goes down. We know that you aren't the same girl you used to be and we don't expect that of you. But please don't think that we want you any less because of what you went through. Those people," the growl that emerged in his voice surprised me, "They do not get to dictate what you deserve. They never did and they won't now".
I leaned back to look up at him and the determination I saw in his eyes brought a quiet peace to my turbulent thoughts.
"Come on", I grabbed his hand and headed back towards the café's entrance. "Let's go grab our stuff and go back to mine. Would you want to stay with me? Like stay the night?". I hated that the nerves were palpable in my voice.
Even after everything he had shared with me tonight from the poem to the kiss and his words of reassurance, I was still waiting for him to reject me.
With a smile that I wished I could have photographed and saved forever under my pillow, he said something that made that fear of rejection slip away.
"I will stay with you until the day I die, love".
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AN: I added both music and gifs since the feedback I got was half and half. Someone also asked for the links so I will add those in the comment!