A few weeks later
-
Autumn was in it's full throes; blazing orange sunsets, crisp and cool mornings with even crunchier leaves that cascaded down in a careless drift – decorating the edge of the streets with the tell tale sign of the death of summer.
Verity had never been happier. She was finally back and settled completely into what she was doing. She lived in a wonderful community, and had an amazing colleague she could call a close friend.
Just that morning, Verity had even discharged too very well mended patients who were incredibly grateful for her care and advice through their few months sessions. The day trawled on, she was able to get through paperwork – and Henry had nipped out to the bakery in town to get her one of her favourite treats – a jam tart. As if the day couldn't of gotten any better, by the time the office hours were drawing to a close, a mother of a young lady Verity had discharged just the other week had returned with a beautifully decorated strawberry cake to say thank you to Verity and Henry for their hard work.
As she and her dear friend cut a slice of cake each and ended the day with a quiet cup of tea – Verity didn't realise just how much she was smiling to herself.
"I wish someone would look at me the way you look at that cake, V." Henry chuckled, rousing the psychologist from her absent stare with some mild embarrassment. Verity swallowed down the mouthful of delicious vanilla cake and buttercream, and chuckled to herself in gentle amusement.
"Sorry," she started, setting the plate in her lap as she reached for the cup of tea beside her. "Just appreciating all that I have." She replied back, Henry's smile warm and affirming – a reminder that she had been so lucky to land on her feet ending up in this wonderful little village.
The quiet sounds – the distant twittering of birds, the absent ticking of the clock in the waiting area – soon fell victim to the thundering clatter of footsteps up the stairwell. The two doctors looked at each other, puzzled; before rushing up and fleeing out to the waiting area where some of the young lads from Verity's street were red faced and breathless – eyes shot wide in fear.
"What's the matter, lads?" Henry asked, as the three boys started babbling over the top of each other. Raising in his hands in a cool manner, Henry toned down the chaos and calmly looked the first boy in the face. "What's happened?"
"Miss Grant – it's Mrs Montgomery!" he wailed, "Some men came and broke into the house! We could hear them shouting for you-"
Verity needed no further story telling nor description, abandoning all of her belongings in that office as she pelted past the boys and down the stairwell – as fast as a woman could in a pair of towering black stilettos.
In some distant area at the back of her brain she could hear Henry's desperate pleas for her to slow down – but the feral flare of panic gnawed away at her brain like a rabid dog. She couldn't stop, for the fear was pushing her on like a wave sending a helpless raft out to sea. Deep down, she just knew this was the thing she had been fearing so long. The reason she had been denying herself to relax and appreciate the perfection of this new life because it was simply too good to be true.
Sprinting down that street, she could feel nothing but the cold brace of the wintery air against her cheeks – rounding the corner at the bottom of the lane with Henry still hot on her heels, pleas for her to stop for a moment all but lost to the wind rushing past her ears.
As the lane came into view, so did the crowds of concerned villagers who had flocked uncertainly around the outside of the house. It appeared this incident was still very much fresh, for the sleek black car parked outside told her these intruders were very much still here.
She had to go in there, so frightened for dear Edna. Verity knew she could not go on if that poor old woman had been slain down in this stupid fight over past ghosts.
The psychologist had barely stopped for a second, desperately trying to catch her breath as she strode forwards in her smart burgundy blouse and black skirt, all but halted in her path by a strong hand around her wrist – warm, grounding, safe.
"Don't you dare go in there, Verity." Henry cried, holding her back. "It's not safe – they're still in there." The psychiatrist looked past his colleague and saw the smart expensive car, it seemed his brain was ticking overtime that this wasn't just some ruffian doing a robbery. Verity's brain was nervously ticking on, she had never told Henry the exact details of her past – not people, not exact places... and certainly not the Shelby name.
Just as she was about to argue, the sound of crashing out of the back garden gate could be heard. All it took was the sight of two of those bastard flat caps and Verity felt an urge to scream the entire village down.
He could not leave her alone. He could not stand to see her happy and forget about all of his strife, the pain he'd caused. What else could he possibly want? What more was there to do? Verity was so enraged, all she could do was burst into tears.
The two lads climbed into the car, looking back just for a second at the sea of faces. Through her tears, Verity clocked the young and freckled face... Finn, Tommy's younger brother. She remembered his boyish ways at Charlie's birthday party and how he had been so cheeky and charming... now all of that fondness was replaced with utter resentment.
His eyes never caught hers, going amiss in all the concerned faces and threatening jeers. The moment the car door closed, the car sped off – with the two Blinders inside. Verity had not recognised the other young lad, but if he was carrying out Tommy's work too then she was not holding back any hatred.
"Edna. I need to check if Edna is safe!" Verity cried, trying to pull free from Henry's grasp – losing her composure all but completely to this sea of emotion which claimed every last little piece of her energy. She was half sobbing, half enraged and half eaten by the need to surrender to the futility of this dire situation.
"I'll go in, please... Verity just stay here." Henry hushed her, voice like a beacon of light through the darkest of tunnels. He pressed the smallest of kisses to her temple as he passed, running through the bodies towards the front of the house where it seemed the rest of the villagers hadn't had enough concern to go in to see if Edna was ok. As usual, it was the dramatics of something going on in such a small place that had roused their attention.
As she stood there, body shaking and a sickness rising in her throat – Verity wrapped her arms around herself and surrendered to her thoughts. There was no way this could just be swept under the carpet in hopes that Tommy would give up. She could not bear to think about any harm befalling any other of her friends – she had to go, go and face the demon himself and have it out once and for all. It was a moment of dread as she realised this was her only option and hope of putting a stop to this silliness, but Verity had a sense of clarity about it that she hadn't done some moments ago.
She waited hesitantly, before entering the house after some minutes, too anxious to hang around in the cold anymore. Henry had kindly gotten Edna onto the kitchen chair, the poor woman having bruised the side of her face.
"Oh my goodness, Edna," Verity gasped, crouching down in front of her landlady who groaned softly. "Did they hit you?" she felt an anger boiling in her blood at the very thought.
"No.... they pushed me on the way in, and I fell down and hit my head, dearie." Edna sighed, as Henry wet a cold cloth and helped press it to the side of Edna's head where the old woman winced in pain. Seeing her like this just further sent Verity into a state of determination. Through the haze and fog of panic and disorientation; it was as if someone had shone a spotlight through and she could finally see just what she needed to do.
"Henry, can I ask you to keep an eye on Edna?" Verity asked her colleague after a minute, pulling him aside as Henry looked at her in some concern, rolling up his shirt sleeves from where he had ran the cloth under the tap.
"Where are you going?" he could see right through her question, "Verity who were those lads?"
Her eyes fell, her head drooping as she sighed labourisly for a moment – this was such a story, a story that would have to wait until she had put this beast to rest.
"I will explain after I come home. I just need to put a stop to this." She reasoned, clutching his hands as she drove her gaze into his own blue one. "Just promise me you will take care of Edna."
Henry's soft gaze furrowed into a frown, as he seemed to be looking to argue with her, jaw shifting uncomfortably.
"I don't want you going alone, Verity." The Scottish man sighed, a pleading look in his eyes. "Those looked like dangerous brutes, who's the say they won't hurt you?" he looked panicked, "I couldn't live with myself if I knew I had let you walk into something like that so willingly."
Squeezing his hands gently, Verity tried to subdue his anxieties but knew that was not going to be easy by any means. In fact if anything she was just going to have to go on with this and leave him unhappy... it wasn't ideal, but she felt this was the right thing to do.
"I promise you I will be fine. I will be no more than a few days. I'll call you if there are any problems." She tried to mollify him, met with the uncertain gaze of a man who seemed to be relenting but only because he knew there was no alternative.
Verity threw her arms around Henry, the gesture very much reciprocated in a tight embrace. Face pressed against his shirt, she stifled back the urge of fresh tears.
"Thank you, if it weren't for you I'm sure I wouldn't still be going on in this world." She whispered gently, drawing away as she cupped his face with a wane smile, glassy eyes fresh with tears concocted from all sorts of emotions.
-
Bags packed, schedule cleared and blinkered with purpose – Verity caught the last train leaving the village as evening was falling to night, and she knew it would be an incredibly long trip.
Once she had reached London, the commute to her destination was pretty much instinct. She hated the way she knew exactly where she was going, the routes to take and all the memories of constant journeys back and forth from the lavish Arrow House to the Eden Club, when it had once been her shining haven.... Or more accurately, her gilded cage.
She was unaware of time, knowing hours had passed and the sky was as black as tar but without her watch and not paying attention to any on the many platforms she'd traversed that evening, she had no clue of the exact hour. Something about the quiet of her trip once she'd hailed the very last journey of her trip and then taken the lone cab at the station, told her it was probably unsociable hours. Not that she cared little for 'intruding' on Tommy, as clearly he had little regard for intruding on her.
The moment the long driveway came into sight, Verity shifted in the back seat and peered at the large country house, the walls illuminated by the soft glow of the lamps. The gravel crackled underneath the car tyres noisily, somewhat louder than she remembered before. Maybe it was something to do with her senses feeling so highly tuned and on edge in anticipation of what was to come.
Drawing to a stop, she pressed a few notes into the driver's palm and stepped out of the car, hugging her camel coloured coat tightly around her figure. The cool night air blustered through the brunette curls, as Verity's hazel eyes flickered to the study window – but despite the large curtains that were drawn, she could see the evident glow of the soft lighting.
As she took the familiar walk to the front door, this felt like some hazy dream that was about to fuse into a nightmare. She'd had so many pleasant memories at this house that it almost felt unreal to return to it in the nightmare state she had to hastily left it in. Even now she could recall Tommy's apologies – much too late as they were. The damage was down.
A nervous lump gathered in her constricted feeling throat, as Verity knocked loudly on the front door. She could almost sense the bewildered confusion of Francis on the other side, wondering who as calling at such an hour. The various clicks of locks could be heard, and suddenly the maid appeared from the ajar large front door. She seemed sullen looking – tired and devoid of all joy, but it did bring Verity some happiness to see how the woman's features lit up upon recognising the psychologist.
"Oh goodness, Verity!" she called quietly in excitement, pulling the door open to allow the smartly dressed psychologist into the warm light of the hallway, the hearth crackling noisily with it's comforting glow.
"It is so lovely to see you. Unfortunately Master Shelby is in bed, but I imagine he would love to see you." Francis explained, but Verity stopped her with a polite smile.
"It's quite alright, Francis. I'm actually here to see Tommy. We need to have a chat, is all."
The maid frowned a little, looking awkward as if she was caught very much between her own initiative and the work routines that had been drilled into her.
"Mr Shelby doesn't tend to take appointments this late." She mused outwardly, but Verity flashed a quick false smile.
"I don't imagine I'll need an appointment, Francis." She excused, "He will make the time for me." Her tone lowered into that of something dangerous, something that immediately alerted the maid her input was no longer needed. She politely excused herself, boots clicking noisily off the tiled hall floor as Verity approached the closed office door.
The soft yellow light pooled from underneath, and even through the wood Verity could almost perfectly envisage Tommy either face down on his desk with an empty bottle of whisky beside him – or musing endlessly with his back to the room. The Blinder with a million reasons to think quietly to himself all the time – and Verity now saw that clearer than ever. No wonder he had so many enemies when he treated everyone who crossed his path like dog muck.
Pushing the office door open, she felt a similar anxiousness pitting in her stomach – like a child creeping up the stairs in the dark, worrying about where the next step might be... and if they may even experience that momentary dread of missing that one crucial step and go tumbling into the darkness.
Her first thought had proven to be true, as she crept quietly inside – seeing Tommy asleep at his desk. The glass beside him and the large empty bottle of whisky was a clear indicator of just how he had ended up in such a state.
A vengeful flare sparked in her stomach, as Verity slipped her heels off and paced silently towards the desk. He wanted to take her happiness from her again? Disrupt the tranquillity she had once again worked so hard for? He needed a reality check.
Snaking her hand out, Verity's red painted fingertips plucked the empty glass from the desk as she calmly sat down in one of the large leather chairs opposite from Tommy's desk. A seat she was often used to perching in, through all those seasons – all those emotions. It almost felt befitting to return here and give him back some of the grief he had so happily put onto her.
She waited a few moments, still no sign of movement from the middle Shelby son. It was so devilishly delightful, this childlike feeling of revenge she was about to inflict. No sooner had the smirk etched onto her first, she raised her hand – glass in her grip.... And with a simple swing on her arm, her fingers carelessly released the glass and it went soaring back across the room – a tense few seconds of silence which was noisily interrupted by the clattering and shattering of glass.
Oh, the giddiness and feeling of control Verity beheld as Tommy shot up from his sleep – eyes panicked like a spooked horse and gasping in the shock of the moment. It took him some seconds to actually fixate his gaze on the ghost of his past sat opposite from his desk.
"Not nice to have someone barge into your home, is it?" Verity said first, her sarcastic words framed with a nasty frown as she looked directly at Tommy... who had calmed somewhat, but Verity could almost still feel the panicked beating of his heart which he so stoically tried to subdue, leaning back in his chair like nothing had happened.
"I'm here, isn't this what you wanted?" the venom seeped clearly through her words, "This is what you were after so at least give me the fucking decency of your attention." She spat, getting up from her seat and bracing her arms on his desk as she leaned in. "What do you want!?" she practically hissed those words, hazel eyes shining brightly at him like an angered serpent.
"You've been contacting Charlie." Tommy returned, the usual level headedness about his tone that always irked Verity. "So clearly you don't want to forget about this life as much as you make out, love." His words were smarmy, everything she didn't want him to be. She still remembered the blinder who had cried upon the realisation he was losing her all those months ago.
"Staying in touch with Charlie is no reflection on my feelings for you, Tommy." She scoffed, turning away as Tommy quickly spun back to face her in the chair – getting up so quickly and violently that Verity had no choice but to look at him.
"Then why are you here, ey?" his tone seemed frayed, "You know it too, you miss this. Miss me." He paused, "Miss us, for fucks sake."
An enraged frown captured Verity's face, as she glared back at Tommy with pure animosity.
"I'm here because I want you to leave me alone!" she returned hotly, "You're like a dog with a ball, constantly coming back! You've done enough to hurt me, Tommy. I want you to let me go."
He turned his head away, laughing to himself in some sarcastic humour and disbelief. He couldn't accept those words, he didn't want this to happen again.
A moment passed, and as Tommy had slowly paced back from his desk – he returned again, a plea shining in those blue eyes.
"Give me another chance-"
"Not this again, Tommy." Verity groaned, pressing her fingertips at her temple as she winced like the idea of it was hurting her.
"Give me another chance and I'll prove to you that I can fix it." His words seemed urgent, tone shaking slightly as if he was going to fly off the handle if he realised she would refuse his offers altogether.
"Fix it!? I've fixed what you took from me, or at least salvaged what I could. That career you took from me? I've got it back through hard work and nothing less. I don't need any more men making me feel like they enable me to live my life! I'm done playing the subservient little singer who let's Tommy fucking Shelby puppeteer her whole life-!" she screamed, utterly consumed by rage that he really thought she still needed him.
"I cared about you! I really did and you just took that trust and adoration and crushed it in your hand." Her primal anger started to diffuse into sadness, as she recalled those few tender moments where she had actually thought she had broken his hard shell and made her way to the person inside.
"Please Verity, please let me show you I can give you more than this new life has. I need you back here." Tommy cried, the change in his behaviour and the relenting from the stupid egotistical figure he personified catching her off guard and she found herself actually listening for the first time in many minutes. Yet there was some hesitancy about her, for she felt she really didn't know who Tommy was. Could this plea, this desperation merely be another act to twist her?
"I wasn't lying when I told you that you were the best thing to happen to me in a long time." He went on, seeing he had captured her attention. "If I could go back and undo every wrong I've done, trust me I fuckin' would. In a heartbeat." He grabbed her hands, so dainty and soft in his own and everything but the rough and coarse texture of his skin. He realised then he truly did not deserve her, and she had every right to turn around and leave...
But that was the thing, he wanted her so badly.
"Please, Verity," he mumbled, the glassy gleam in his eyes become more evident as seconds passed, "What can I say or do to make you stay. Tell me what and it's yours, anything you want."
He lifted his oceanic blue eyes and found her hazel ones – so broken behind those beautiful brown and green hues. He felt a pang realising he had done all this, and once again regretted his haste in asking Finn and Isiah to go to the address on Charlie's letter. He cursed himself again for this jealous and selfish impulses, but it was all down to his wants and desires just to have Verity even grace his presence.
Biting her lip in contemplation, Verity avoided those eyes that had ensnared her so many times before. There was too many memories flooding back merely because his skin was against her own from the moment he'd grabbed her hand.
"I want you to leave me alone, Tommy." She eventually croaked, her voice hoarse from the earlier outburst.
A tension that had been orbiting around the room for the last few minutes eventually grounded itself – in a mixed pit of emotions that clashed and collided within the Blinders heart.
As Verity looked at him, she could see an incredibly human element that was very much hard to find in the seemingly 'heartless' Tommy Shelby, unless one got close enough to the beast to get a glimpse past the teeth and roars and saw the man inside. She almost felt guilty for a moment, as if she was being unreasonable in her requests.
But as his eyes once again met her own, this time filled with frustration and a flicker of anger – she was reminded of the dangerous game she had played. One only plays with wolves for so long before they get bitten.
"I have to go." She quickly said, tearing her hand free and shoving her feet hastily back into her heels. An overwhelming heat started in her chest, that familiar pounding in her heart as the adrenaline of the past few minutes kicked in. Anxieties of every nature swirled around her head as she headed for the office door, aware of Tommy's footsteps behind her.
"Verity don't walk away! Just give me the chance to be the man I should have been-" his frustrated calling in her ears, the reverberating sounds of her footsteps across the hallway and the coupling fears and worries swarming around her mind like bees were proving to be far too much.
Her heart kicked into a racing mode, thrumming madly as the heat that started in her chest spread to her neck and head – a swimming and uncomfortable haziness of dread clouding her mind. Just keep walking she snapped at herself internally, trying to ignore the cries of Tommy which were echoing in the back of her brain.
She first felt the faltering sways in her steps as the front door came close into view – and just as she had wanted to reach for the handle – the foggy and overly hot feeling in her head, coupled with her uncontrollably fast heart caused the psychologist to fall victim to the state of panic that had taken over her system.
She dropped like a stone tossed into a lake, plummeting to the floor just by the front door. Her shaky feeling legs beneath her had given way completely – and the last thing she could recall was the dominating fear in her system and the heaviness of her own breath, before her head connected with solid floor beneath her. Hard enough to send her into a blackout, miles from the turbulent grip of her panic attack.... But still solidly ground in the walls of Arrow House.
-
A/N: Well wasn't this a long one! Sorry there's a LOT going on here but I was very excited to write after updating my cover earlier. Weird how something so small can spark my motivation.
Anyway the creation of this chapter is very much in homage to the wonderfully talented soul that was Helen McCrory. Still cannot fathom she's not gracing the planet anymore with her beauty and talent. An amazing actress who brought so much life and personality to the character of Polly Gray, as I'm sure all Peaky fans will agree. She will be so missed. Rest easy.