Yes, I did indeed fell asleep with Yoongi and Jimin, not really because I wanted too but because I was tired. I was just at least happy Jimin didn't pull out his smirk again, as he was too afraid of the storm outside, he even made Yoongi hold his hands.
But right after Jimin fell asleep, Yoongi pulled his hand back and showed a disgusted look, even tho you could tell he didn't dislike it as much as he's saying. "Jimin makes me do this sh*t every f*cking time". Yoongi sighed, still disgusted.
"Then why do it when you dislike it so much?". I asked him.
"Everything is better then an upset Jiminie, I promise you". Yoongi said tiredly.
After that me and Yoongi were both awake for a while. Yoongi kept on insisting for a full on hour that he would stay awake as he 'doesn't share a bed with anyone'. At least that were his exact words, but his deed showed otherwise as he had soon fallen asleep too.
I even fell asleep next to Yoongi as I couldn't leave my eyes open anymore.
But after some peaceful hours, the peacefulness needs to be replaced by some disturbances in this household.
"Wait? Yoongi is really sharing a bed?". I heard Seokjin ask surprised, as his presence was in the room. Why at this freaking hour?! Can I have a peaceful morning for once?
"I'm sure, he lost a bet". I heard Taehyung say.
"Yoongi would never bet on something like that unless he is 110% sure he will win it". Seokjin said back.
"Maybe he's soft for Jimin and Y/n-ah". Taehyung then laughed.
"If you don't shut your f*cking mouth, I will cut both of your throats open and write a song celebrating your death with your blood on the wall". Yoongi said grumpily as he turned around.
"I take that as a yes then". Taehyung said as he started running out of the room and soon after that I felt Yoongi get up and run behind him.
Yes I'm surprised too, Yoongi is running.
I also opened my eyes as I moved from my side to lay on my back, because I now had more space. "Why are you here?". I asked Seokjin tiredly.
"We want to talk to you". He answered.
"Couldn't you've waited until I woke up?". I asked as I rubbed my eyes tiredly.
"Does this face look like it waits?". Seokjin said, pointing towards his head.
"No, it rather looks like a face that's stubborn and annoying". I said, I mean he asked for it.
"Watch your mouth sis". Seokjin said. "Both of you, in the kitchen in 5". He said as he then walked out of the room.
"5 what? Centuries?". I asked grumpily as I sat up in the bed. I looked to my side and saw Jimin also slowly waking up.
"I wish he meant centuries". Jimin said tiredly, slowly awakening. "But 5 minutes means that I have enough time to get a morning hug from my sister, right?". He asked as there appeared a childish grin on his face.
Okay first of all, I didn't make up with them so that I can become a living teddybear. Secondly Jimin is understanding this 'we made up' in completely the wrong way. Thirdly since when did Jimin get so attached?
"Hell no". I said as I started getting out of bed but Jimin quickly pulled me back, hugging me. "I swear if you don't let me go, you won't see another day of light". I said as I tried to push his arms away.
"I won't mind, I like the night better anyways". Jimin winked.
"Ugh, Jimin-ssi you probably lost half of your only braincell while sleeping last night, get off". I said as I then rolled out of the hug.
"Well I feel hurt that my sweet sister doesn't want to hug me back". Jimin said being fake hurt. "But I'm sure that will change soon". He said as he then gave me a wink and left the bedroom.
Please remind me why I haven't dropped him off at a stripclub yet? He needs some of his needy needs released.
I sighed deeply before I also got up out of bed and stumbled my way into the kitchen, seeing everyone there, including Chaesoo and a still alive Taehyung.
Chaesoo was sat at the kitchen island as she had a bowl of cereal in front of her, next to her sat Namjoon who was busy on his phone. Yoongi was sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall, almost falling asleep again. Hoseok was this time the one behind the stove, Taehyung was juggling 3 eggs in the air, making my heart stop every time he almost let one fall. Seokjin was leaning against the counter, having his arms crossed as he was looking over everyone and Jimin sat down on a stool, almost falling off immediately.
What a mess already and I wasn't in the kitchen for even a second.
Wait, I'm missing Jungkook now.
I looked around the kitchen again and saw him almost literally crawling into the refrigerator as he was searching through it, probably looking for something to eat.
"What was the hurry about?". I asked as I sat on the other side of Chaesoo.
"It's dad". Seokjin spoke. "He knows that we are here and wants us all back". He said, coming straight to the point.
"But I don't want to go back". Jimin said pouting. Who is the older one here now?
"We all don't want to". Seokjin said back. He is wrong there, I do want them to go back, then I've got my own space back.
"Then what's the plan? We can't hide from him anymore". Jimin asked.
"We're gonna fight him". Seokjin said.
"Then why did I have to be here? I'm not going to fight him". I said, already knowing I'm not capable of doing that.
"You're gonna be bait". Namjoon simply said.
I beg his pardon!?
"Sorry, I don't think I heard your you correctly". I said attacked.
"It's not the time to check out your ears to see if they're still working correctly". Taehyung said, stopping with joggling around the eggs. "We are serious".
"Yes and I'm serious about not agreeing". I said crossing my arms.
"That's why your friend is going to replace you". Namjoon said as I saw Chaesoo's cheeks blush brightly, as if she got caught.
What did he just say!? The hell.
I looked at Namjoon as if he was out of his mind, I looked at all of them as if they're out of their mind. They can't be serious, right?
Is that why he was in my room with Chaesoo last night? To discuss this with her? To convince her?
Chaesoo didn't look surprised at what Namjoon just said, only telling me she knew about this already. She was even avoiding my eyes now.
There is no way I'm going to let her be the bait for any mission that involves my stepbrothers, Mr Kim, Mr Lee or anyone else that starts with Mr.
She's the only one I've left from my past.
"Chaesoo, tell me you didn't agree to this?". I asked her.
She kept quiet.
"I don't care what Namjoon has told you about what will happen to your family, but it's not true". I said as I looked at Namjoon disappointed and sour. "Nothing will happen to them". I said. "Pull yourself back out of this stupid idea".
"I didn't do it for my family...". She said quietly. "I agreed so that you don't have to". She said, looking at her spoon that she was playing around with in her cereal.
How badly I want to punch some sense into her. She doesn't know what she's agreeing to.
But there are other people here that I want to punch more, especially someone that starts with an 'N' and ends with 'amjoon'.
This motherf*cker is going to involve my best friend into their f*cking mafia world!? Over. My. Dead. Body.
They can't do that to her, I'm sure they didn't give her a chance to decide what she wanted. Why do they always have to go after the ones I love the most?
"You're awful!". I screamed at Namjoon and whatever other brothers that got involved in this. "You can't just drag along innocent people! Chaesoo isn't going to participate in your guys's nonsense!". I screamed at them.
How much I appreciate Chaesoo's effort for taking my place, I won't let her.
This is outrageous.
"Then what do you want us to do?!". Hoseok asked.
"I don't know!? Maybe something else then getting innocent people involved!". I screamed at him. I'm outraged right now. "Maybe freaking sue them, go to the police or maybe talk to him!". I screamed, standing up, making my stool fall onto the ground. Why do they always think that violence is the answer to everything?
"Y/n-ah, calm down". Yoongi said.
"No! You knew about this too, you stopped me from entering my room last night! I thought that we wouldn't keep any secrets from each other anymore!". I felt betrayed as I just made up with them, but like before they are breaking my trust again.
I then turned around angrily, exiting the kitchen, I'm angry, outraged, I can't deal with them now. How can they involve people around me that are worth the most to me? My mom is already gone, my supposed dad is dead, the other two supposed dads are already dead to me, I won't let them take away the only person that's the dearest to me.
Right before I left the kitchen, Jungkook stopped me by grabbing my arm, but out of rage, I pulled my arm out and stormed out of the kitchen and eventually out of my apartment.
I closed my front door angrily, how can they do this to me?
"Y/n-ssi!". I heard Jungkook run after me, but I was already in the staircase, getting away from this nonsense for now.
I angrily made my way downstairs but as I was on one of the transitions between the staircases that followed up to each other, I got stopped and pulled back.
"Y/n-ah, don't be angry". Jungkook said.
"Then what!? Should I be happy about this!? That you're offering my friend to get murdered!? She is the only one I've left from my childhood! The only one I still love and care about! You've already taken away my mom, who more do you want take away from me!?". I asked angrily, screaming at him. I'm hurt, I don't want to lose anyone else.
"Nothing will happen to her, I promise". Jungkook said.
"Your guys's promises are just empty words". I said as I shook my head in disappointed, how do they still even dare to come to me with promises they won't make true? "She isn't going to join this stupid mission, find someone else". I said sourly.
"It can only be you or her...". Jungkook said. "And I rather have you alive". He said. This is what men call selfishness, they only think about their own happiness.
But what does this mean, having me alive? Am I even alive? I don't believe that I can feel anything inside of me anymore, I just feel emptiness, empty holes that need to be filled. I'm broken.
"What's a living human when you're already dead inside?". I asked. "I'm not alive anymore, I'm already dead from the inside. You guys have broken me enough already. Maybe it's better to send me out, I'm dead already". I said as my eyes started to get watery, tired of this sh*t that's happening to me. Just tired of it all.
"Don't say that...". Jungkook said saddened by hearing me.
"Why not? That's how I feel". I said honestly. "There is no hope for me, everyone around me has disappeared into dust, I got no good relationships besides Chaesoo, I have lost trust in people, I'm not exited to live anymore I'm just surviving at this point". I stopped for a short second. "And you guys keep telling me things will get better, that you will change, getting my hopes up but then letting me fall harder then ever before, over and over again". I sobbed. "Do you know how I feel!? Every time I get my emotions out, you guys make me feel guilty, guilty for feeling things inside of me because that's making me feel week, making me feel human". I said as a tear escaped my eye, I quickly wiped it away. "I just don't see the point, why keep on fighting in this world? Why does every-". I got stopped as Jungkook suddenly pulled me into a hug.
My tears started to wetten his shirt as I held the fabric of his shirt tightly in my fist. Sobs started leaving my mouth but it got muffled down because of his chest.
"I'm sorry Y/n-ah". Jungkook said. "I didn't want this to happen to you". He said as he stroked down the hair on my head, trying to calm me down, but it was only doing the opposite, making me even more emotional.
I was suddenly letting it all out again, maybe crying once in a while isn't that bad. It's getting rit of my frustration, but it makes me feel so guilty too. Who am I to complain as people have lost their lives because of these men?
"Why only now?". I asked still crying. "Why didn't you stop what you were doing to me sooner?". I asked.
"I-..". Jungkook swallowed. "I didn't know how to". He said. "We didn't know we needed you". Jungkook said, now rocking around lightly in a left and right movement as he was still stroking my hair.
It felt comforting but I'm still so confused.
"I hate you guys so much". I cried, this is really how I feel, I've almost lost everything because of them.
Jungkook lightly pushed me away from him, he then cupped my face. "Y/n-ah, please forgive me for what I've done to you, I will do better". He said as he wiped away a tear on my face with his thumb.
Yoongi also told me we wouldn't keep any secrets from each other anymore, but he is immediately betraying me the day afterwards. Why should I trust his words now?
But out of all people, Jungkook deserves it the most, he is trying the hardest. I'm just afraid I will get letten down again, like every other time.
"You know that you're a part of my suffering". I said. "I can't just forget the things you've putten me through, it will always stay with me, it will follow me behind until I'm dead". I said, sniffing my nose. "I'm still suffering, physically and mentally, I want you to know that I'm in pain every day because of you. If you can live with that, I will forgive you but you need to know that trust will never be as strong as it could've been". I said.
"I know". Jungkook said. "I will live with that". He said as he then pulled me back into a hug and breathed in heavily, as if a stress fell down his shoulders. "I'm sorry". And then he breathed out deeply, sounding more bothered, probably because of regret.
Jungkook kept me in his arms for an unknown time until I stopped crying.
"We should go back up again". Jungkook said.
"I'm only going back there if Chaesoo is left out of this". I said as I pulled myself away from him.
I really hate to say this, but Jungkook felt comforting. He just stayed silent while I tried to get myself together as he was trying to calm me down while stroking my hair and rocking around lightly. It felt like he knew what he was doing for once, like he felt how I felt. That's something I need.
"I will talk to them". Jungkook said as he grabbed my hand and started leading me back up to the floor of my apartment once I looked reasonable again.
I quietly followed him behind.
I didn't even have to enter the code for my apartment, as the door was surprisingly still open.
As Jungkook and I walked into the kitchen again, all eyes were on me.
"I'm sorry Y/n-ah, I should've asked you first". Chaesoo said filled with guilt immediately after we entered the kitchen.
I gave her a slight smile. "Your intention was right". I assured her. Chaesoo gave me a small smile back, still feeling guilty.
"Chaesoo-ssi is out, she isn't going to be the bait". Jungkook said.
"You want Y/n-ah in then?". Seokjin asked.
"That's what she wants". Jungkook said.
"Well it isn't about what she wants, we-". Hoseok got stopped.
"Okay". Yoongi interrupted Hoseok. "If that's what she wants, we need to take that in consideration". Yoongi said.
Seokjin sighed frustrated. "Y/n-ah you want some breakfast?". He asked as he had taken over the stove from Hoseok.
"If it isn't poisoned". I said. Some good food is a necessity after you've had a crying session.
"First you're offending my face and now you're questioning my cooking skills?!". Seokjin asked hurt.
I just gave him a small and sour smile, not into this whole arguing thing right now.
I had cried again for the hundredth time, it makes you tired man.
Seokjin didn't bother going further into this conversation either as he simply plated some sunny side ups on a plate with two slices of bread.
"Hyung, you want to make me breakfast too?". Jungkook asked as his mouth started watering.
"Me too, please". Jimin said as Seokjin put the plate in front of me.
"I'm not a maid, make your own". Seokjin said.
"But you made Y/n's too". Jimin said.
"It's because Y/n-ah needs it". Seokjin said back. "We need her later on".
"For what?". I asked.
"You're the bait, did you already forget?". Seokjin said as it was the most obvious thing.
"Today?". I asked.
"Yes today, we need to be dad and Mr Lee a step ahead, they won't wait for long". Hoseok told me.
"Mr Lee? What has he to do with this?". I asked confused.
"It's also going to be his death". Hoseok answered me.
"You guys are going to kill them? Both?". I thought that they were only going after Mr Kim, not after Mr Lee too. "So, how will I be of use then? I won't get involved of killing people". I asked while I felt Jimin stand behind me as he leaned over me and took a few bites of the bread with egg.
"Hmmm". Jimin said as he liked the food and started eating more, still hanging over me a bit, making me feel cramped.
"You will let yourself get taken by Mr Lee". Seokjin answered back simply, as if it was the most normal thing on this world. But what was angering me now is that they wanted to let Chaesoo do this first!?
They wanted to send Chaesoo back to Mr Lee, whom they saved her from yesterday?! There is a screw loose there.
"Now, this is the plan-". Namjoon started explaining.
———//———
"Y/n-ah?". Hoseok walked into my room. Me and Chaesoo both looked his way as we were having a chat with each other on my bed.
"Hoseok-ssi". I answered back.
"Come with me". He said and then he walked towards my bathroom as he had some stuff in his hands.
Sure infinite yourself into my room.
But rather then complaining, I followed him behind, I'm sure this is about the plan. "What is it?". I asked as I walked into the bathroom.
"This". He said as he held up a sharp object. I looked at him confused. Why does he have a blade with him?
He quickly took me and lifted me up on the vanity in the bathroom. "You will need it". He said as he got my left arm and started unwrapping the bandage around it.
"Will I get in trouble?". I asked. All I got to know about the plan is what I will have to get to do to get in, not what will happen inside.
"We don't know what will happen, that's why I'm gearing you up". He said as he had finally removed the bandage from my arm and got a new roll out. He started covering my wound again but before he put a second layer over it, he placed the flat blade on top of it and wrapped it in, making the blade unnoticeable. "Mr Lee knows you have a wound on your wrist, try everything to avoid him taking the bandage off. The blade will probably be the only thing on you to protect yourself". He said.
"You told me I would only be with him for less then a day. I won't need it, right?". I asked, feeling more nervous now that he mentioned something about protecting myself.
"Don't worry". Was all that he said.
It fell silent again. I don't know what to think about this. Will I really get myself in danger? I don't know what will happen to me in there.
"Hoseok-ssi?". I asked. He gave me a soft 'hmm', telling me to go further. "What's your position in the team?". I asked. "Yoongi is I'm guessing in charge of hacking, surveillance and communication from the outside. What do you do?". I had concluded about Yoongi as I had gotten to know he is the computer guy.
"I'm in charge of the escape, I drive, I give my brothers back up, I snipe, I'm the one in charge so that we don't loose anyone". He said as he got a pile of clothes he had taken with him and waited for me to take it from him.
"So you will make sure I will come back?". I said as I held out my pinky, wanting some assurance that this won't be one of my last days.
"I will". He said, still waiting for me to take over the pile of clothes as I held out my pinky.
He noticed that I wouldn't take over the pile of clothes if he kept my pinky hanging. So with a deep sight he connected my pinky with his, then pulling my hand down slowly and handing me my clothes. "Please get dressed now". He said. "I need to gear you up, we don't have a lot of time anymore". He said as he then left the bathroom. "You've got 3 minutes". He said as he closed the door.
I quickly changed into the clothes he had given me. They looked like normal clothes I would normally wear. It was just a baggy sweater and some jeans. This is all part of the plan, it all needs to look normal.
"I'm done". I sighed, telling Hoseok he could enter again.
Hoseok again entered the bathroom, now with more stuff in his hand and Seokjin following behind.
Immediately Hoseok got a pocketknife out and put it in my pocket. He then told me to put a small blade in my socks.
"Yoongi had this with him". Seokjin said as he held up a necklace.
I looked at it weirdly, why is that important now? "A necklace?". I asked confused.
"It has a tracker, we will be able to follow your location through this. We will need it so that we can get you back". He explained and then got behind me, shoving my hair to the side and put it around my neck.
"Put these on too, they have knives in the soles". Hoseok said as he handed me a pair of shoes I had never seen before.
I simply got them and put them on. Everything that will keep me saver, I will take it. I'm afraid as hell for going back to Mr Lee now, but I want him gone, dead. Same for Mr Kim.
"I guess I'm all geared up now". I said as I had putten them on. Hoseok and Seokjins both kept quiet. "Lets start this stupid mission". I said as I started walking out of the bathroom more confident then I really am.
But Seokjin stopped me by grabbing my arm. "Y/n-ah". He started. "Jungkook told me about what happened in the staircase...". He said. "Did you really get to hate us that much? Wanting to stop living, again". He asked serious but saddened.
"Yes". I simply said. There is no reason for me to hide it. What do I have to loose anyways?
"Then why are you helping us?". He asked, I could hear a slight sense of guild coming from him.
"I'm not doing anything for anyone". I said. "I'm doing this for myself. I want peace and want to feel save, that can both not get achieved with Mr Lee and Mr Kim alive or with you guys in my life". I said as I pulled my arm back. "If Mr Kim is dead, I have no reason anymore to be around you guys. I'm fighting for my own freedom, not yours".
"What about us? Do we mean nothing to you?". He asked saddened.
"Nothing but misery. You know what you've done to me...". I said, it was silent again. "We don't have a lot of time anymore. We should go". I said as I then walked out of the bathroom. Seokjin and Hoseok followed behind me, there was some kind of tense atmosphere.
"Wait". Chaesoo made us stop as we were passing through my bedroom. I turned around to her. "I can't let you leave like this". She stood up from my bed and got my hand in hers as she stood besides me. "Please make up with each other or at least apologize to Y/n-ah. She is helping you guys out here. I don't want my friend to leave like this, she needs some certainty". Chaesoo said looking at the two boys, she knows that we aren't on the best conditions.
Hoseok had a sour face on, saying 'who the hell does she think she is?'. Seokjin on the other hand had a surprised but confused face.
"It's fine Chaesoo-ya, they won't do it". I said as I disconnected my hand with hers and making my way out of my room. I know she is sensing what our relationship is like, she is trying to make it better. But I know they won't corporate.
But right as I passed the door, I had to stop in my track as Jungkook was blocking my way. "She's right, we can't let you leave like this". He said as he leaded me back into the bedroom.
I got faced with Seokjin and Hoseok again, one looking more cooperative then the other. "The others too". Jungkook said. "Hyung!". Jungkook yelled.
After a few seconds I saw that everyone had entered my room. "Is there a problem?". Namjoon asked as he crossed his arms, making his biceps pop out even more. I guess he has worked out a lot recently, okay Y/n this is not the right time.
"There is". Jungkook said. "We are".
"What do you mean we are?". Taehyung asked.
"We can't make Y/n-ah leave us and make her trust us that we will get her back if she has nothing to trust us on. We need to trust each other". Jungkook told them. "We need to make up with her, all of us". He said.
"Well me and Y/n-ah are already on good terms, right?". Jimin said as he joined besides me and squeezed my cheek. I looked annoyed at him and pushed him away. "See? You can already see the love in her eyes". Jimin said as he pulled me back towards him, making him kind of back hug me as he was leaning down on me with his arms over my shoulders.
I rolled my eyes.
This freaking human is un attachable from other people. I'm sure god put some kind of magnet in him that pulls him towards human-beings, I wouldn't have another answer for him being so sticky like super glue.
"Jimin-ah even tho you're small, you're still heavy". I said underneath my breath as I tried to get his arms off that were resting on my shoulders.
"Guys I'm serious". Jungkook said seriously as he pulled Jimin away. "I know you want to make up with each other, now is the time". He said, more directed to his brothers as he pushed me lightly towards Seokjin.
"What?". Seokjin asked, feeling attacked by this sudden move.
"You're the oldest, you should go first". Jungkook said.
"Well, I didn't do an-". Seokjin started. I already started crossing my arms, feeling frustrated by what was going to come out of his mouth.
"Think about that again before finishing your sentence". Jungkook interrupted.
Seokjin sighed, he doesn't like being at fault. "I'm sorry for being mean, harsh and rough towards you. I will try to not hurt you anymore, only if you take the stuff back you said about my face and cooking skills, because honestly that hurts and everyone knows no one can offend my handso-". Seokjin started rambling.
"Okay, we get it". Jungkook stopped him again. I guess Jungkook has turned into a better person since I left the house, I like the new him better.
Then Jungkook looked my way, telling me it's my turn. I don't like how this whole make up session is getting directed by Jungkook, but I guess I need that grab of trust before I get myself caught up into this stupid mission. "I'm sorry for offending your looks and offending your mom". I said, meaning the mom part more then the face part because honestly he asked for it.
I then held out my hand, waiting for him to except it. Seokjin's hand moved towards mine but right before he connected his with mine, he pulled his hand back a bit. "Only if you accept me as your brother". He said.
Hey wait, I thought we were doing this step for step, not crossing the whole damn Atlantic Ocean at once.
"Only half". I said.
"I will take that". He said and shook my hand.
"Hoseok-ssi, Taehyung-ssi and Namjoon-ssi too, apologize". Jungkook then said.
Namjoon didn't mind the whole apologizing thing so he spoke up first. "I'm sorry for getting your friend involved and attacking you". He said as he held his hand out.
"I'm sorry for also attacking your mom". I said as I shook his hand. I haven't had the most trouble with him in the past compared with others. I will forgive him this time, but if he is going to involve my friend again, I will surely make that 'tying Namjoon to a tree and setting it on fire' a try.
Then Jungkook pushed Taehyung to the front, my way. "Might as well follow my brothers". Taehyung sighed as he stood beside Namjoon. "I don't feel sorry for anything. I do apologize for hurting you". Such a Taehyung thing to do, I shouldn't have expected anything other then this coming from him.
"Well then I'm also not sorry, but I will apologize for not listening to your full story first". I said as I held my hand out. A half apology is better then no apology, right?
"Glad we are on the same terms, sis". He said as he shook my hand with his big ones.
Then all heads turned towards Hoseok.
———
(A/n)
I hit 500K reads, yeay :)
Question time:
Whom of the BTS matchembers characteristics matches the most with yours? (In real life, not this book).
Mine definitely with Yoongi's.