xv. astronomy tower
- silks of heaven, chapter fifteen -
"I'M NOT GOING TO stand here and wait for you! Speed up!"
Jasmine and James were walking to their first class together. James was far ahead from his sister, she was slower than usual today.
"James, I'm sorry, my legs are aching," Jasmine uttered. "Be considerate. For once?"
An exasperated sigh escaped James' mouth as he slowed down and walked beside the brunette girl.
"Come on, I'll drag you. I don't want to be late to Minnie's class," James said and clutched her wrist. He dragged her down the hallway and past the students rushing the other way. She didn't have time to protest; before she knew it, they had made it to Transfiguration.
She gave James an overly sweet smile and dragged her legs to the back of the class. Waiting for her in his usual seat was Regulus.
Jasmine smirked at him as she sat down, memories of the previous night all rushing back. He didn't smile back though. She noticed that he looked different.
His face was paler than usual, his under-eyes were dark and his hair was messy. When he looked up at her, she noticed the exhaustion in his eyes.
"Regulus, did you get any sleep last night?" she put her hand on his. He immediately pulled her hand off, making her smile fall and her heart sink.
"People are looking," he muttered effortlessly. "I got a letter from my mother last night and it kept me up."
"Why? What did she write?" Jasmine asked eagerly.
"You don't need to know," he said. "Family stuff."
She turned away with him and fiddled with her hands. Why was he acting like this? Completely neglecting her?
They didn't share a word for the rest of the class, instead they sat in silence while the time ticked on. When the class ended, Jasmine collected her stuff quickly and caught up with Sirius and James.
WHEN IT WAS FINALLY dinner time, Jasmine tried to eat as quickly as she could, so she could leave the Hall and go up to her dorm. She wasn't in the mood for the boys' antics.
Remus sat next to her and he noticed her sudden change in mood. He always noticed small things like these.
"What's up?" he asked quietly. She looked up at him and scrunched her face up in confusion.
"Nothing. Why'd you ask?" she lied nervously.
"I know when you're lying to me, Jasmine," he guffawed. "You're quieter than usual. If Jas is quiet then something must be wrong."
She knew that no matter what she told him, he would know that something was wrong. He just knew her too well. The obvious truth was that she couldn't tell him about her and Regulus' relationship.
"Thank you for looking out for me, Remu," she said. "But, it's just my time of month," she lied again.
She expected him to find this news shocking and awkward, but he just smirked and said, "Me too."
She raised an eyebrow at him in confusion. When the realisation hit her, she sighed and laughed.
"Oh, I get it, this time of month is full —"
"Shh!"
They both hid their laughter as James, Sirius and Peter eyed them suspiciously. At first, Jasmine's attempt was to push Remus away, but she was glad Remus was being stubborn.
***
As they entered February, Jasmine noticed Regulus avoiding her more and more. She didn't understand. Did she annoy him? Was she taking things too quickly in the relationship?
She gave up in trying to earn his validation. There was no point, she told herself over and over.
That day started off normal. It was a Friday and they had just finished classes. Jasmine was roaming the empty corridors; everyone else was in their common rooms.
She heard footsteps on the other end of the corridor and she had a sudden urge to explore who was down there. She walked down the corridor quietly and almost shouted when she saw who it was.
Lily and James.
James had Lily pushed against the wall and he was kissing her. Very roughly. Jasmine's mouth fell open and she tried her best not to make a sound. She was cautious to make sure that neither of them could see her. She watched as James pulled Lily into an empty classroom. When the door shut, she let out a laugh and ran down the corridor to the Gryffindor common rooms.
When she entered she saw Sirius, Remus, Peter and Marlene sitting together.
"Moony, Pads, Wormtail, prepare yourselves," she said, sitting beside them. "Oh, and you, too, Marlene."
Marlene smiled sarcastically.
"I just saw Lily and James in the corridor and they were — oh, God — they were kissing and then they went into an empty classroom!"
Sirius burst into laughter; Remus covered his mouth; Peter looked like he couldn't believe her and Marlene snorted.
"Liar," she said. "There is no way in hell that Lily would do that with James."
"I'm not lying! I swear, I'm not," Jasmine defended. "You three believe me, don't you?"
"I guess we'll have to find out when they come back," Sirius said through laughter. "But it all makes sense. Why was he so excited to get away from us?"
"No way, it can't be real," Peter said, shaking his head in disbelief. "James actually kissed Lily? Jasmine, have you been drinking?"
Jasmine nudged him, making him laugh. "I swear I saw them!"
The five teenagers sat, talking about whether they believed Jasmine for ages. If it wasn't for Sirius, they wouldn't have noticed James walk in.
Jasmine stared at him. His hair was messier than usual, his tie was around his shoulder, he had many buttons undone and his glasses were placed wonkily on top of his head.
"I told you!" she shouted, standing up. She ran to James and swung her arms around him, pulling him down. They both fell backwards onto the floor. "He finally did it! He finally got his dream girl!"
James suddenly went red. He pushed Jasmine off him and stood up again.
"I — yeah ... but don't tell anyone," he said, going even more red. "We don't want everyone knowing about our ... thing. Whatever it is."
"Get in here!" Sirius said and strangled James in a hug. Remus jumped on top of both of them.
"We're all in love!" Remus said happily.
Jasmine wanted to tell them all about Regulus, but she couldn't. Their relationship was still a secret. She stood there awkwardly with Peter.
"Oh, sorry, Pete, Jas," Remus said. "Forgot you two are saddos."
"Eh, I like it better this way," Peter shrugged.
Jasmine only smiled. "Yeah, Remus, I just wish I could get a boyfriend."
Sirius pulled himself off James and slid in between Remus and Jasmine. He put his arm around both of them and kissed Remus' cheek.
"Well, Jas, we could always hook you up with someone —"
"Merlin, no! Please, don't," she laughed. "I'm good on my own. Honestly."
Sirius scoffed, "Whatever you say."
Jasmine slipped away from Sirius' arm and set off out of the common rooms. She hated talking about relationships, knowing that she was terrible at keeping secrets. It was dark now, she knew she shouldn't be out.
She made her way to the Astronomy Tower quickly. She always went there to clear her thoughts. It was her safe space, she never told anyone that, though.
She looked over the edge of the tower, watching the grass dance in the wind. It was silent, all she could hear was the wind howling. The tower usually creaked a lot, so Jasmine was used to it when she heard noises from behind her.
As a result of this, when she felt cold hands snake around her waist, she jumped in panic. She sighed when she discovered that it was only Regulus.
There was silence, until she brushed him off.
"Why have you been avoiding me for weeks?" she snapped. He didn't say anything. "Well? If I've done something wrong, just tell me! I'm not used to this relationship thing. This is the first time I've been in one. And you're not making it easy, Regulus."
"I'm sorry, I can't tell you," he said. "You can't know."
"I'm your — what am I to you? Am I just a friend that you use? Hell, I doubt I'm even a friend to you," she scoffed. "I deserve to know."
"I know and I owe you an explanation," he said meaningfully. "But I just can't. I swear to you, I would tell you if I could."
She shook her head. "That's not bloody good enough, Reg. I haven't heard a single word from you for weeks! And then you say this!"
Tears fogged her vision as she shouted at him. A hurt look was forming on his face as he struggled for words.
"I'm sorry," was all that he could say.
"I want to hate you for this, but I can't," she said, tears rolling down her face silently. "Whatever this feeling is, I don't like it."
She toppled onto his chest and held onto him tightly as the tears kept falling.
"I'll never avoid you on purpose," he said softly. "You mean too much to me. I promise you, from this moment on, I won't avoid you."
She tried to hold a grudge with him, but everything was telling her to run back. She was already sobbing in his arms, there was no denying that she longed to forgive him.
"Stay forever."