~darling, you're all I ever wanted love to be~
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****
October was slowly coming to an end and winter arrived softly. I watched the smoke rising from the chimneys, the world slowly turning white. The past days, I was often around James, Sirius birthday was nearing and this year, I wanted it to be special.
Remus was annoyed that I was spending more time with James than with him until I told him about the present. He decided to plan a birthday party with Peter and the girls, so James and I wouldn't have to do that too.
Sirius and I didn't go on our date yet but in the last days he didn't seemed to be in the mood for it anyways. He grew easily annoyed at anyone and was sometimes even ignoring me and James. I think he might be annoyed at me for spending so much time with his best friend but he will surely understand when he sees his gift, right?
We planned out everything weeks in advance, trying to make this day perfect. James and I sat in the abandoned classroom, where we usually did our pranks, scribbling down some ideas for Sirius present.
The gift was basically ready, but we were still working on the finishing touches. I think I might strangle Sirius if he doesn't like it, we've spent so much time on it that I already had two detentions because I forgot to hand in my assignments in time. I laughed when James was once over complaining about reading a charms book when the door pushed open. I jumped slightly while James tried to hide the papers and books that were placed on the table.
I looked up to see Sirius standing in the door frame, the Marauders Map in his hand and his face was scrunched up in confusion as his eyes flickered from me to James. "What are you doing?"
"We? Oh, nothing much."
"Homework."
I glared at James who was scratching his neck, trying to avoid Sirius suspicious glance. "What are you hiding behind your back, James?"
James eyes widened and he tried to put the parchment in the back of his pants but failed as he looked so panicked that he missed while I tried to keep Sirius from coming closer. "Nothing?" replied James uncertainly, how could a person be so bad at lying?
"Come on Sirius, do you want to grab something from the kitchens?" I grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the door before he could answer, I send a last glare at James before turning around and sending an innocent smile at Sirius. His eyes were narrowed and he didn't seemed to like this at all. "Why can't you tell me what you were doing?"
I shrugged and held my chin high as I tried to be convincing "We were doing absolutely nothing but homework."
Sirius stopped in his tracks and turned to me; his eyes burned with rage "Why did James hide the parchment then? And why are you spending so much time with him?!"
I was losing my temper and started to get annoyed with the questions "I don't know, okay? He's James, no one understands what he's talking about most of the time because his brain isn't functioning right."
Sirius eyes furrowed and he seemed to be annoyed as well "Why are you lying to me? What are you hiding, huh? Don't tell me that James and you are shagging in this abandoned classroom!"
"What no?! I thought you trusted me, then why are you assuming that I'm sleeping with your best friend who is in love with mine?!"
"I trust you but I don't know why you are lying to me then?! I'm afraid Talea, don't you understand?!" exclaimed Sirius, his voice braking at the last words.
"Afraid of what?" I whispered.
"I'm afraid I'm going to lose you. I'm afraid that you'll replace me and find someone better. I'm afraid that someone will make you happier as I can. I'm afraid that you'll lose interest in me, in us. I'm afraid that I'll lose the person I love."
My eyes softened as I was staring the boy in front of me in silence. A single tear dropped onto the stone floor, the only sound that was heard in the empty corridor was the faint chatter of the students in the other hallways.
"You love me?" my voice was shaking slightly.
"I love you so much Talea. I love the sound of your laughter filling the room, the way your eyes seem light up every time you see one of your friends. The joy you bring to my life every day, the way your heart touched mine where love runs wild, I love your touch, the way you make me feel. The way your hand fits in mine like a puzzle or the way you care for everyone around you, I love that you can see the good in every person. So, yes, I love you Talea, I love you with every part of me."
I was overwhelmed of all the feelings that seemed to rush through my veins. He loves me. I've never loved a person in this kind of way before. I was never really sure how love felt but I think it is feeling things we shouldn't and not feeling things we should. I think it involves the heart, like a fire burning and this fire insists on burning when it wants. As much as we try to control the fire in our hearts, that acts like a wild creature, they will control us instead. Because I think that love is many things, it is confusing, complicated and exhausting but it is beautiful.
He was just turning around when I grabbed his hand and pressed my lips on his. That kiss was filled with all the words I wanted to say, my heart was beating fast and I felt a tingling feeling everywhere he touched me. His hand around my waist while the other one pulls me closer on my neck. My hand still on his arm and the other entangled in his hair.
We pulled away, breathing heavily as I watched his eyes roaming over my face. My lips brushed over his and I smiled softly when I mumbled "I love you too and there is no way that you're going to lose me. I'll be by your side for eternity, remember?"
His eyes lit up, he pressed his lips on mine once again and I felt him smile into the kiss.
****
It was the day of Sirius birthday and the only thing that annoyed me was that we actually had school today. I woke up early in the morning to congratulate Sirius, I threw on his pullover which I may have never returned and made my way to the boys' dormitory. I pushed the door open to reveal a messy dorm room, clothes scattered everywhere and it smelled like alcohol. Well, it's fair to say that it was a mess, except Remus part of the room of course. I knew that it was full moon soon, so I decided not to scream out the usual "Happy Birthday" ... I'd rather not get killed by a moody Remus today.
I made my way over to Sirius bed and admired the sleeping boy for a second before I tapped his shoulder gently. He groaned quietly and turned his head in my direction "Get away Prongs, I don't want to listen to your daily Lily news."
I chuckled and whispered "I'm not James but you have to tell me more about the daily Lily news, so I can tease him about it."
His eyes were still closed but he smiled softly, lifting his blanket up and mumbled "Get in, love." I slipped under the covers and turned my head to Sirius who had finally opened his eyes. "Happy Birthday Siri" I whispered before pecking his cheek.
He smirked and whispered "Thank you, love but you missed." I sighed and gave him a kiss on his lips, he seemed satisfied and laid an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him, so my head could lay on his chest and closed his eyes, still smiling. I pulled my chin up, so I could watch his face.
I grinned and whispered "We have to get up soon, don't you dare sleep again."
He opened one eye and looked down at me "Remus will wake us up in time, he's been my personal alarm for the past seven years-wait, is that my pullover?"
I pursed my lips and shook my head slowly "Nope, definitely not."
He smirked and his eyes lit up mischievously "Hmm, you can have every pullover of mine if that means that I can wake up to this sight every day."
I blushed and looked down again, hiding my face from his. "Stop it, now go sleeping or something."
"Certainly, I love you."
I smiled slightly and replied "I love you too" before snuggling into his embrace, enjoying the warmth.
What felt like seconds later, I was woken up by a loud screech. "James shut your mouth you little shit" I heard Moony yell.
Sirius yerked up at the noise and I was pulled up with him, he rubbed his eyes while I was grinning amused at James who was standing in front of Sirius bed, his eyes still wide open and a finger pointed at us.
"Did you guys shag? While I was in the room?!" With that Remus yerked up, his eyebrows furrowed as his eyes landed on me.
"You better not do it with my cousin, while I'm in the room. Forget it, just never do it with her." Remus eyes were narrowed at Sirius who was inching closer to me.
I couldn't see Peter from where I was sitting, just his blanket until an arm was stretched out, pointing in our direction "That is disgusting."
I laughed and replied "We did not do it, I'm here because it is-"
"Happy Birthday Padfoot, my true love!" yelled James excitedly, only to be shut up by Remus who threw a cushion at him. James went up to Sirius nevertheless and engulfed him in a hug. Remus sat up and muttered something under his breath before joining the hug and grumbling "Happy birthday Padfoot."
Peter rolled out of his bed with a thumb and winced slightly. I chuckled and asked "Are you okay Wormtail?"
"No, Happy Birthday Sirius."
The day passed in a rush; the classes were bearable but just because Sirius made sure that everyone knew that it was his birthday in the most dramatic ways. We've planned the birthday party in the evening, in the common room.
People from all houses were invited, I made sure that even Regulus was coming. He refused to come at first because he didn't wanted to be seen with his brother, not because of the blood traitor shit, but more because he thinks that Sirius is way too embarrassing to hang out with. Comprehensible.
The party was pretty fun and I guess everyone enjoyed it, even Regulus who was finally talking to a certain Ravenclaw girl. I was just explaining Eloise the Mrs. Norris theory that was somehow always a big discussion at parties when James came up to me.
With a Firewhisky bottle in one hand and the other hand ruffling his hair, he said excitedly "Come on Shadow, it's time to show Sirius his present."
My eyes widened and I turned back to Eloise "Sorry Ellie, but I have to go, I'm pretty sure that Lily can explain the theory to you." I winked at Lily who was groaning "No, I can't the theory doesn't make sense at all."
"It does!" yelled Marlene who was walking over to the table where I just sat. I turned around and walked with James towards Sirius, the laughter of Eloise fading as Marlene explained the theory.
Sirius was seated between Remus and Peter, chatting with the latter while Remus filled his glass with Firewhisky until it spilled over. Sirius got closer to Peter since I've told him about the possible future, trying to stop him from joining the dark path.
"Sirius, come with us, we have a surprise for you!" yelled James over the loud music.
Sirius grinned and stood up "If you excuse me Mr. Pettigrew I need to go." Peter just nodded his head and turned to Remus "Of course Mr. Black."
"I hope it's a pleasant surprise" said Sirius as he took my hand in his, following James out of the common room.
I winked at him and smirked "You'll see."
"Don't be so mysterious young Lady" grinned the black-haired boy.
We followed James out of the castle, the cold air made me shudder. I saw Sirius smirking at me and asked "What are you smirking at?"
"Do you want my pullov-"
"Yes." I stretched out my hand expectingly and he chuckled while pulling it over his head. I smiled at him and pulled it on, sighing contently at the warmth.
James looked back at us and smirked at what I was wearing "Come on lovebirds, we are there soon."
"Are you planning on killing me out here?" asked Sirius.
"Yes." James and I answered at the same time.
We walked down to Hagrid's hut and saw Hagrid standing in front of his door. I walked up to pet Fang while Hagrid engulfed Sirius in a bone crashing hug "Happy Birthday ma boy."
"Thanks Hagrid but I would like to live another year, I just can't do that without air" choked Sirius.
Hagrid let him go and replied "Ah, sorry, well do you wanna see ya present?"
Sirius nodded excitedly and James pulled him behind the hut where a white linen cloth hung over a large object, Sirius grinned and walked into its direction. He pulled of the cloth to reveal a motorcycle.
Sirius let out a gasp and turned to us with a wide smile "You didn't!"
James and I smirked at each other and replied "We did." I walked up to the exited boy and said "And that's not even everything. It's able to fly!"
"You made it fly?!" Sirius eyes grew even wider and he jumped up and down like a six-year-old at Christmas.
James walked up to us and laid a hand on Sirius shoulder "Why do you think it took us so long to get it done?"
"That's why you spend so much time together? Because of this?" he pointed at the Motorcycle.
I nodded my head and whispered in his ear "And you thought that I would leave you."
Sirius blushed a little and scratched his neck. "Sorry for being a dick, I was kind of jealous."
"I still can't believe that you thought that I was shagging Talea!" exclaimed James.
"You told him?!" Sirius turned to me.
I lifted up my hands and took a step back "Sorry, it was just too funny." James let out a laugh at Sirius face while the latter replied shocked "You think it's funny that I thought you were cheating on me?!"
I let out a laugh and replied "Yes, yes I did."
Sirius lifted me up and threw me over his shoulder, I let out a shriek and yelled "James, help me! This boy has gone mad!"
I watched James grinning and shaking his head as he watched me being carried away "No, thank you!"