His eyes were red from crying, his jaws were tensed in anguish and frustration, his feet never stepped off the accelerator. He had lost Ye Zun but he was not at all ready to lose Shen Wei. With all these thoughts spiralling in his head, Zhao Yunlan was not able to think straight at the moment.
He was just furious. He sped up. He should not have.
It all happened in slow motion like they show in those high budget Hollywood movies but sadly, it was not a movie, the person driving was not an actor, and there were going to be no retakes.
KARMA!
He lost control. His eyes widened in realisation.
He panicked when the car skid off the road and rammed into a post.
His face was rammed into the inflated airbag, a slight crack could be heard.
His eyes drooped, a narrow stream of blood trailed down his temple.
He did not know what happened, but he was hurting in different places.
Zhao Yunlan smiled dizzily at the irony. Dying was never part of the plan. Keeping his eyes open was a battle now so he decided to close them. Surprisingly, there were no flashbacks like they showed in the movies and dramas, just infinite darkness.
Karma does not spare anyone but here, it did...
15 days later
He constantly slipped in and out of consciousness with no track of time or his whereabouts. Every time he gained a little consciousness, all he could hear were screams, cries, and people talking to each other in an excessively concerned manner. As for seeing, the light was always too bright and hurt his eyes, so he shut them back right away.
Even if he was delirious every time he woke up, he could instantly feel pain in his face and few other parts of his body.
One day, the drugs wore off and Yunlan woke up involuntarily. He was voicelessly groaning in pain. It was hurting too much but he was in no condition to speak or call anyone for help. Tears trailed down his temple but suddenly, his heart was at ease to hear an extremely soothing masculine voice, to sense a gentle touch to his forehead. He knew who it was. More tears left Yunlan's eyes. The remorse in him forced him to mumble incoherent words of apology before slipping back into the drug-induced slumber.
Zhao Yunlan went through three different major surgeries back-to-back, one of which was to reconstruct his jaw.
No one could have imagined that a capable driver like Zhao Yunlan could get into such a fatal collision. Some even speculated foul play with the millionaire's car but all of it was Zhao Yunlan's KARMA and even in his unconscious state, he was well aware of it.
He finally opened his eyes.
At first, his double vision made him see everything in double. The voices were just incomprehensible echoes. He closed his eyes back, the light was blinding, it was too noisy, and recognising all the faces was too much work.
He went back to sleep.
It took him a few more attempts to finally be able to bear his surroundings. And when he was finally in his full senses, he got to know that he had a broken jaw, a metal plate in his left leg, and several minor tears.
And he also missed a set of molars. He wanted to cry and complain but a broken jaw trapped in a chin and jaw brace meant he could not talk or even move his face. So, Zhao Yunlan was like a vegetable now and all he could do was listen.
"At least, you are alive..." Lin Jing's words were no relief, "for now."
Zhao Yunlan rolled his eyes which happened to be the only painless physical activity he could indulge into, so he rolled his eyes a lot.
He was still surrounded by his family which included just his mother and father, and Lin Jing, who helped himself with fruits meant for the patient. His father and mother argued about how disobedient Yunlan was and how this accident was because of that disobedience only, how they should not have spoiled him, how driving himself was always a danger, and so on.
Zhao Yunlan just kept rolling his eyes. At one point he was sure rolling his eyes was causing him a headache. He was still under fire when someone entered the room and Yunlan could feel his breath getting stuck in his throat. He could only move his eyes and his eyes followed the person till the back of the room.
Shen Wei, Yunlan screamed internally.
Shen Wei quietly came in, placed lunch boxes on the table, and left after bowing politely to Yunlan's parents.
Seeing Shen Wei leave without even looking at him was more painful than all the injuries. Yunlan also realised his parents had gone quiet on his arrival and even Lin Jing stood up.
"What a loss..." Yunlan's mother mumbled with a sigh and again glared at Yunlan.
Her words confused Yunlan, but the real lightning bolt hit him in the gut when Lin Jing told him that Shen Wei had filed for divorce. Yunlan wanted to scream and yell, he wanted to talk to Shen Wei but all he could do was shed tears silently while the brace in his neck and jaw allowed him no movement and ability to speak.
Days were passing, his days in his hospital room were only brightened by the seconds-long visits of Shen Wei. But not once Shen Wei would look at him. If he could only get up and block Shen Wei's way when he rushed out of the room.
"The guy cooks really well," Lin Jing licked the spoon, only to get a death glare from Yunlan.
Yunlan wanted to punch Lin Jing in the face and snatch away the bowl.
"What? This he made especially for me," Lin Jing took another spoonful of whatever it was, "and with no teeth in your mouth, you cannot have it anyway."
Just another death glare.
"The guy never stopped," Lin Jing spoke, his tone a bit serious now as he looked at the bowl in his hand, "he was devastated when I told him about your accident. I could see it in his eyes, the fear... the fear of losing you..."
His words made Yunlan look at him with surprise.
"He spent all his days, all his nights here at the hospital... by your side. He never left." Lin Jing paused and then sadly sighed, "He loves you, but he is still leaving you. How much the guy must have been hurt. He feared losing you and now he is ready to lose you."
Zhao Yunlan stared at the ceiling above while quietly listening to Lin Jing. He swallowed the lump in his throat and even that hurt. He was regretful. He was going to regret everything he did to Shen Wei till his last breath.
A few days later
"What is it?" Lin Jing helplessly looked at Yunlan who was trying to say something but due to the brace could not speak, "I... I think I should call the nurse..."
Zhao Yunlan just groaned in frustration and pointed at his crotch.
"What the fuck, Yunlan," Lin Jing grimaced, "I know I'm your friend but please, I cannot do it... not here at least. It is a hospital for God's sake!"
At first, Yunlan's eyebrows knitted together in confusion but then he rolled his eyes. He never found himself so useless, so helpless.
"Mh-h-h-Get the bedpan, -Mh-h-h-he wants to..." a voice interrupted them.
Both Lin Jing and Yunlan looked at the person. Yunlan was not able to move his facial muscles till now but he a smile made its way to his lips to see Shen Wei and it hurt him.
"Ohh..." Lin Jing scratched his neck in embarrassment and rushed to get the bedpan.
And after so many days, he heard Shen Wei's voice. A tear again left the corner of his eyes, but he was not ashamed of showing that he missed him, that he loved him as much as Shen Wei loved him.
With help of Lin Jing, Shen Wei very gently shifted Yunlan's body to the side and set the bedpan on the bed, and then laid him back, making sure that the bedpan was positioned right.
Yunlan could not remove his eyes from Shen Wei's face while the latter did not even look at his face. The room was uncomfortably silent.
"I... I will be outside," Lin Jing felt too awkward to be there with them. He left.
Shen Wei covered Yunlan with the blanket, "mh-h-this is mh-h-h-how you sign for mh-h-h-toilet," Shen Wei showed him.
"Mh-h-h-I will teach mh-h-h-you a few more. mh-h-h-It will be mh-h-h-helpful." Shen Wei tucked him in. His voice was almost emotionless.
This adorable stutter and how much Yunlan missed it. He wanted to hear more of it.
With Shen Wei so close after so long, Yunlan admired how beautiful the person looked. He suddenly had the desire to touch his face but sadly, he could only look. So, he only looked, and he looked with so much intensity and longing, Shen Wei could no longer stand it. He left. He left without looking.
Lin Jing entered when he saw Shen Wei leaving the room. His eyes fell on Yunlan who looked absolutely broken at the moment. He felt bad for his friend and Shen Wei.
"He isn't a bad person, Shen Wei," Lin Jing one day tried to be of some help to his friend, "I know what all he did was wrong but... he loves you... he loves you now."
"Mh-h-h-and is that Mh-h-h-is that enough, Lin Jing?" Shen Wei looked Lin Jing square in the eye, a small patronising smile on his face.
Lin Jing looked down. He had no answer to Shen Wei's question.
But things seemed a bit brighter for Mr Perfect and Mr Imperfect with Shen Wei coming in regularly to teach Yunlan sign language. He brought food and taught Yunlan sign language.
Lin Jing watched and hoped that this would bring them together. He knew it was not Shen Wei's generosity to help but his love f0r Yunlan.
"I'm sorry," Yunlan signed, interrupting Shen Wei from proceeding to another lesson.
Shen Wei looked at Yunlan, his hands paused at a sign. He quickly looked down and Yunlan could see the struggle to control his anger.
"I'm sorry," Yunlan again signed, "Please, do not leave me."
As a beginner to sign language, Yunlan made mistakes but Shen Wei got what he was trying to say, and Shen Wei was uncomfortable with it. He did not want to have the conversation. He got up and left the room.
Yunlan sighed in frustration and rested his head on the pillow, his eyes on the ceiling above. Who would have thought that Mr Perfect would be left so helpless.
Someone entered, Yunlan looked in the direction. For a brief moment, a smile graced his lips, but then the smile vanished, and confusion hinted in his expressions.
Ye Zun, Yunlan inwardly gasped.
Hello people, I know I have not updated in ages. I was not well, *Nervously fidgets* down with a lung infection but I'm doing fine now. I'm trying to get back to writing little by little.
I'm sorry I kept you all waiting. I will try and update a bit faster maybe.
These are tough times for the entire world. It isn't just about you and your family. I hope you all are fine.
Please stay safe. Take care of your health. Maintain social distancing. Wear mask. Do not smoke. Have a healthy diet.
COVID is no joke. Death is no joke.
I'm sorry for the downer. I just want everyone to be safe.
Bless you, all!