" ": You talking
' ': You thinking
* *: Narrator/Voice-off
Your POV:
Ichigo: The Soul palace...
Ichibe: Yup ! You two should revel in the simple fact that you're here ! Run-of-the-mill Shinigami have never graced these hallowed halls ! Well, I guess calling you garden variety Shinigamis is a bit of a stretch... or even Shinigami, now that I think about it...
"To think Aizen tried to move heaven and Earth to get here... As far as killing 100,000 just to... Wait, Ôken ?"
Ichibe: Hm ?
"Isn't this place supposed to be locked ? How did we got here without using the Ôken ?"
Ichibe: We used it. It's right here. The Ôken is, a power given to those chosen to become part of the Zero Division, which manifests itself into us from the Soul King. It's literally in our bones.
Ichibe: To sum it up... There are two ways to get into the Soul Palace. With our permission, which means we don't have to be here physically as long as we just will it. Or, you can make an Ôken, as Aizen attempted to. In other words, using his Reijutsu... He tried to recreate one of us.
"... Oh dear me..."
Senjumaru: Creating life... Assassinating the king... And trying to take the throne as God. Aizen Sosuke, is without a doubt, the personification of evil. However, do not let your guard down, Kurosaki Ichigo, L/n Y/n. For those Quincies that were involved in this incident, are far more malevolent and depraved than he ever was.
Tenjirou: Alrighty then !! Don't move a muscle, OK ?! Ahh yeah, here we go !! Get ready to surf the friendly skies !
Tenjirou: Don't even flinch... If you so much as pass gas, you're dead meat ! Ready... Get set... AND G-
Ichigo: WAIT... WOAH, WOAH, WAIT A SECOND !!
Tenjirou: Sup ?
Ichigo: Don't just 'Sup' me ! Just explain to me what you're about to do !! Where am I headed ?! Are we going to meet this Soul King ?
Tenjirou: HAH ?! YOU RETARDED, BRO ?! There is no way some small fry like you is gonna meet the great Soul King- OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW !!
Kirio: Explain it properly !
Kirio: Listen carefully. Although the Soul Palace encompasses this space in its entirety, strictly speaking, where we stand now is the Soul Palace surface path which is merely the entrance that leads to the actual Soul Palace. And floating on the edge of this path... See that giant cocoon-like thing ? That's the greater palace, where the king's quarters are. Furthermore... Those five plate-like things floating around... Are the Zero Division's quarters, our very own palaces, if you will.
Kirio: each plate is populated by its own city. We're entrusted as their guardians by the Soul king.
Ichigo: Entire cities...
Tenjirou: FIRST THING FIRST ! You'll be stepping foot in my "Kirin" palace... All of you !
*BANG*
Ichigo: WAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaa... ... ...
"... Come to think of it, the place is rather in shambles... What happened ?"
Oetsu: And he's got the NERVE of ASKING !!
"Excuse me... ?"
Ichibe: That... Would be kind of your fault... The torrent of gravity the other day even affected this place.
"Oh... My... Apologies... ?"
Ichibe: It's fine. Although I'd rather you not cause the Soul Palace to collapse on top of Soul Society. But we'll discuss that matter later.
Tenjirou: You heard him, now go on the launch platform ! Annnd...
*BANG*
Ichigo: ... ... SO DAMN ANNOYING !! But that's the least of my aggravations !! 'The hell are we doin' here ?!
Tenjirou: Hey bro, you mind keeping it to a mild roar... And watch the damn towel.
Ichigo: Why are we just lounging around in a hot spring like this ?! Why was I even brought here ?
Tenjirou: Oh ? Ain't it obvious ? It's the hot spring treatment.
"*Blub* *Blub*"
Tenjirou: Oh. Hey, keep your shit together.
Ichigo: Hey, just hold on a second !! What is he doing underwater ?! Wait... When'd he even get in there ?
Tenjirou: What are you, his mom ? Besides, it's not just him.
Ichigo: Byakuya ?! Renji, too ?! And you're holding him like a beetroot ?! Even Rukia ?!
Tenjirou: Kinda puts you in the mood for peaches, don't it ?
Ichigo: SHUT UP ALREADY !!
"*Blub blub blublub*"
Ichigo: ... Even like that, he finds a way to annoy me...
Tenjirou: Him apart, if you're not gonna complain, then shut up. By engulfing the wounded with this water, all the Reiatsu that damaged them, is being slowly driven out along with the blood.
Ichigo: The reiatsu that damaged them... ?
Tenjirou: See that crimson one behind em ? From here, it looks more like a blood bath than a hot spring, but... Ah, it's named that too. "Bloody hell pond". We just gotta take these guys right here... And quickly move them there... WITH A BANG !!
Ichigo: HEEEEEEEY !
"*Blub*... U- Uh ? Morning ? Did I fall asleep ?"
Tenjirou: ... Yeah, let's go with that.
Ichigo: What's up with you ?! Byakuya's about to die you know !!
Tenjirou: And I'm telling you to shut up !! We take out his blood in the "White Bone Hell"... And replenish it again in the Bloody Hell Pond. Repeat that over and over again, and what we've got is a body without a single drop of rotten Reiatsu, clean as a whistle ! That's my healing method !
"That... Seems oddly familiar..."
Tenjirou: It should. You guys are Urahara's disciples or something ?
"Against or wills... And better judgement."
Tenjirou: In Shihoin Yoruichi's playground, ya saw a hot spring, right ? Urahara Kisuke made that after analyzing, many times over, the water of my hot springs. So just shut yer mouth and marinate in my bath. Those pussy scratches you got... Gimme one night and I'll have you feelin' like a new man !
*Zero Division, Sentôki (Hot spring demon), Kirinji Tenjirou*
Ichigo: ... ... ...
Tenjirou: YA FUCKER !! Ya dropped the towel from your head ?!
Ichigo: Er... What ? Oh yeah, sorry dude.
Tenjirou: Don't just "Sorry dude" me !! If ya don't keep that firmly on your head, yer Reiatsu's gonna seep out you're head and ya'll die !!
Ichigo: EHHHH ?!
'It's a wonder I could take a nap with all that noise... Must be more exhausted than I thought...'
Tenjirou: NINETY-ONE ! NINETY-TWO ! NINETY-THREE ! NINET-
Ichigo: BUAAAAAAAAAH !!
Tenjirou: Ya fail again, punk bitch !! Even a random twat has a bigger pair than you !! I guess that's juts how you were raised ! Didn't yo mamma ever tell you ta count to underwater when you're in a bath ? can't even do somthin' that simple, what a pussy !
Ichigo: It's only supposed to come up to your neck !! What kind of wacko parent tells their kid to submerge their entire head underwater ?!
Tenjirou: Blah, blah, blah... You're a whiny little bitch, aren't ya ? Kazuo ! Kazuhiro ! Get a good grip on him and let's do it again !
Kazuo: Yes, Aniki ! Don't hate us for this, boy !
Ichigo: Wha ?! Like hell I'll let you !
"Blub ?"
Tenjirou: 175... Wait, you punk.
Ichigo: THE HELL WAS THAT FOR, YOU BASTARD ?!
Tenjirou: You're as good as new. If ya weren't healed, that blow would'a killed ya. See ? Not even a scratch.
Ichigo: ... You're right...
Tenjirou: We're finished here. Go on ta the next place, and follow procedures.
Ichigo: Next ?
Renji: Wait up ! I'm goin' with ya !
Ichigo: Renji ! What are you talking about, you're still...
Renji: You call that a punch... ? I... Barely felt it.
Tenjirou: ... Fine. If ya can take that punch, ya should be good to go. Get the fuck outta here !
Renji: A- All right !
Tenjirou: Just one thing, you'll have to wait for him.
Ichigo: ... Why ?
Tenjirou: Because I'm not passing on the opportunity for a new record.
Kazuhiro: READY... GO !!
*BANG*
Renji: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH !!
Ichigo: DON'T YOU HAVE ANY OTHER WAY OF TRANSPORTING US !!
"To think I only got to 419... So disgraceful."
Tenjirou: ... Finally outta my hair... Kazuo ! Kazuhiro ! Been a while since I put you through that ! Take off your wet tops !
Both: ALRIGHT !
Kazuho: ... Well well... if it wasn't for these protective suits made from super-Reishi, we would've decomposed and been torn asunder from this hyper-recovery.
Kazuhiro: To think they could withstand Tenjirou-Sama's White Bone Hell and Bloody Hell. Not only that, they were able to do it completely naked with little to no ill effects... Quite an impressive bunch...
Tenjirou: Yeah... I figured why the hell not... But they did better than I expected... To think a regular human simply went unconscious at the beginning... if it was his reiatsu that protected him, then... It must be unfathomable...
Tenjirou: But, that fuckard Ichigo... That asshole, the moment I punched him, he instinctively reacted, and reflected most of the force back onto my hand...
Tenjirou: They used to call me lightning speed Tenjirou, because of my footwork. And lemme tell ya... I still got the skills to pay the bills. They're... Real monsters. Shit... i'm beginning to see, why the Soul King is swingin' off his sac.
Ichigo/Renji: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH !!
"You guys are noisy."
Ichigo: You be the cushion !!
Renji: Screw you ! i'm on my deathbed here ! You do it !!
Ichigo: You have the nerve to say that with a straight face ?! isn't it time you grew a pair ?!
Renji: Care to repeat that, you bastard... ?!
"... Hm ?"
Ichigo: ... I SEE HOW IT IS ! WHAM, BAM, THANK YOU MAN !!
"Smooth landing. Congratulation."
Ichigo: Phew...
Renji: Well, well, well... Falling from that height would've been dangerous... Fortunately it ended well for everyone...
Ichigo: You're the dangerous one here... I could've done a tuck and roll and landed safely on my own.
Renji: What was that... ?!
"Still, I wonder when he managed to tag along for the ride..."
Ichigo: He probably just decided to hitch a ride during all the commotion. I remember him going all nuts and saying "Yay ! Hot springs !!" Then those muscle-heads showed up... It probably happened some time after that.
Renji: I see... Hm ?
Kirio: GREETINGS !! Glad you made it here, Ichigo-Chan, Renji-Chan, Y/n-Chan !! Welcome to my Gaton Den (Sleeping pig palace) ! You're my precious guests now !!
Ichigo: I... WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO BE SO OVER THE TOP IN THIS PLACE ?!!
Kirio: A TOUCH OF THIS ! A TOUCH OF THAT !! OH YEAH, THAT LOOKS JUICY !
Ichigo: Eh... What's this... She did acknowledges us as her guests, but... I thought she was just doing so just out of common courtesy... I didn't think she'd actually go this far...
Renji: You read my mind...
Kon: AWESOMEEE !! This... Is... TOTALLY AWESOME !! LET'S EAT, LET'S EAT ! I'M STARVING MY ASS OFF OVER HERE !!
"And now... You're reading my mind ! ITADAKIMASU AND ALL THAT GOES WITH IT !!"
Ichigo: IDIOTS !! There's no such thing as a free meal !!
"I haven't eaten any real food in over 8 years !! I don't care what kind of strings there is, I'm chowing everything down !! With me, Kon !!"
Ichigo: Don't do that ! Don't let your guard down !!
Kirio: My, my... Being around Urahara Kisuke appears to have made you lose your faith in humanity. Do not fret ! My Gaton Den is a palace of food ! My job here is to fill you boys up, and your job, is to get filled up ! Now, eat up ! You should be ab-solutely famished by now, right ?!
*GROOOOOOOOOWL*
Ichigo: O... OH !! Now that you put it that way, I'm eating 'till I pass out !!
Renji: Not if I beat you into a food coma, Ichigo !!
"Screw both of you, I'm not leaving a morsel behind ! And screw the silverware too, while I'm at it !"
Kirio: Now, that's a wonderful sight to behold ! Eat to your heart's content ! I'm going to go make some dessert !
Ichigo: This... is... Heaven !! I can't stop stuffing my face !!
Renji: But... There are some things in here that make me stop every once in a while... What's this supposed to be ?
"Any energy you use to talk and not to chew is wasted energy ! And speaking of, OMNOMNOMNOM !!"
Renji: ... *Chomp* HM ?! Th- This is... ?! It looks like crap but it tastes so good I can't even put it to words !! the texture is amazing as well, and... Such robust flavors... It's almost like fireworks going off in my mouth !!
Ichigo: Shut it. Your incessant rambling makes the food taste bad.
Renji: What, you done already ? I could still go for some more.
Ichigo: You're kidding, right ? I could eat this stuff until I explode ! Just taking a quick breather.
Renji: Well, better make it real quick before these two chow on everything left.
Ichigo: ... Renji... Is... is it really okay for us to be doing this... ? Everyone in Soul Society is preparing and training for the next battle... And yet here we are, without a care in the world, stuffing our faces in the Soul palace... is sitting here, really going to make us stronger before the next invasion ?
Renji: ... You're a fuckin' retard, aren't you ?
Ichigo: WHAT ?!
"*Gulp* He's right you know. Think about it. You fought and got injured, so you went to heal in the hot springs. While you healed, you were bound to get hungry, and when you got hungry, you ate. It all makes sense. You guys were in no condition to do any kind of training, you needed to rest anyway. Train hard, rest hard, eat hard..."
Ichigo: ... I guess these years also gave you some wisdom...
"I'm taking exception to that."
Renji: If you've caught your second wind, then hurry up and stuff your face some more !
Ichigo: You don't have to tell me twice !
Renji: You gonna eat that ?!
"Touch that and you die !!"
Kirio: HAHA~ It's just as you say ! Guess you've got quite the full head after all !
Kirio: Looks like you know exactly where I'm coming from !
Renji/Ichigo: PHFFRRRRRRRRRR !!
Kirio: Spot on ! What we're doing here... Is following the progression of things, as you would do in any normal training. With the exception of this being done on the Soul King's scale, obviously. Our way of doing things encompasses the Soul king's power along with the millenniums of history behind Soul Society. Compared to Seireitei though, we're on a completely different level. So just shush and nurture your bodies here. So that you don't die like dogs in the next palace.
Kirio: Now... Since we have come to an understanding... Dig in to dessert !
Y/n/Kon: YES MA'AM !!
Ichigo: Dear mother of go- WHO THE HELL ARE YOU ?!!
Kirio: Ah, didn't I tell you ? I use up all my Reiatsu when cooking, so I tend to slim up quite a bit once i'm done !! So to compensate, I need to bulk up in between feasts !
"And oh boy, what a feast it was ! Especially the dessert !"
Ichigo: You two ate the entire thing before we could even taste it !!
Kon: *Burp* Oh, sorry.
Kirio: ... All of you, be on guard. Just now, I told you our way of doing things, encompass the complete history of Soul Society, right ? All of the members of the Zero Division, were people who once created something in Soul Society. And we came to be acknowledged by the Soul King as significant people who played a part in making that history. My contribution was the artificial souls, and the means of inserting it into a body.
Kirio: Before I came along, the thought of making an artificial soul, or Gikon, was a foreign one. I built upon the idea of Gikon, and created the "Gikongan" the artificial soul pill. The core theory behind the artificial soul, is to take the reiatsu from something other than yourself, and inject it into a body, then turning that power into your own. You've just eaten food that was made according to the logic. Right now, your bodies are brimming with Reiatsu on a level you've never fathomed.
Kirio: I you can feel even a tinge of that... Then my job here is done. But even so, proceed with caution. In the next palace... You never know what he's going to do. Next is the Phoenix palace's Nimaiya Oetsu. He is the man... Who gave birth to the Zanpakutô.