"So, what song do you think reflects you Kageyama?"
"Uh..."
The team were just talking and relaxing on their break during after school practise. Tanaka and Noya had been shouting the lyrics to Mr Brightside and Suga said the song sort of suited them. This led to their current conversations, singing songs that reflected them. For Daichi it was Believer by Imagine Dragons; for Hinata it was Stronger by Kelly Clarkson.
"Do you relate to a song Kageyama?"
"Um," the setter took a moment to think, "there is one I guess."
"Can you sing it? I bet you're a really good singer." Daichi asked and the first year nodded.
"Yeah, I'd rather be a lover than a fighter, 'cause all my life, I've been fighting..."
Daichi and Asahi were heading up to the clubroom to get ready when they heard it. Shouting noises coming from the room. They knew the voice immediately, yet there was no other voice to accompany it.
"Why won't you-!"
"I can't-!"
They shared a concerned look before reaching the top of the stairs and sliding open the door. Kageyama was standing in the centre of the room with his back facing away from them. He hadn't noticed their arrival, to occupied by whomever he was talking to. After another minute or so the first year hung up the phone call and struggled to suppress his cries. He ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath in and out.
"Kageyama?" Daichi asked and immediately the ravenette froze up.
"Are you okay?" Asahi asked.
"Y-yeah, fine. Don't worry about me."
"Are you sure?"
The third years watched as Kageyama went over to his locker to start getting ready, refusing to look over at them in fear of them seeing his most likely red eyes and blushed cheeks. He simply nodded his head as a response to the captain's question and silence filled the room as the three boys changed.
More and more of the team arrived until they were all ready to go and practise. But Kageyama had been changing a lot slower than usual so Daichi managed to grab him alone before they went downstairs. By now Kageyama's flush had settled down and there was only a faint red tint around his eyes.
"Kageyama?"
"Yeah?" the setter asked as he went to step out of the room; when he turned around he looked down at the sight of a concerned looking Daichi and Asahi.
"Are you okay?"
"I've already said I'm fine. Really." Kageyama assured the ace, but failed to hide his clenched fist that stopped his shaking.
"Are you sure? You can tell us anything, you know that right?"
"I know."
"Then why won't you tell us? Something is bothering you. So, are you really okay?" Asahi asked in a gentle voice.
Kageyama nodded his head to assure them he was alright. But too soon the nod turned to a shake and he held a hand over his mouth to stop himself from breaking down. Daichi immediately noticed and pulled the first year into a hug- Asahi soon joining- not knowing what the problem was but knowing Kageyama needed comfort.
Daichi slowly rubbed Kageyama's back to try and help him calm down; the setter in question was crying softly into his shoulder. Asahi's hug provided the first year with some much needed warmth.
Both third years shared worried looks. Not just because there was something upsetting Kageyama, but at the thought of wondering how many times Kageyama had told them he was okay when he wasn't. He brushed off their questions, telling them not to worry, and this was the first time he had broken down.
"I'm sorry for bothering you." the setter apologised, his face still hidden in Daichi's shoulder.
"You have nothing to apologise for. We all need a little love once in a while."
Kageyama tightened his hold on the captain's shirt, and Asahi ruffled his hair to try and lighten up the atmosphere. It worked a little as the setter let out a quiet laugh and looked up with amusement in his teary eyes.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Daichi asked when Kageyama had pulled away to brush the tears away.
"N-no."
"Okay, but we're here if you need someone to listen."
"I know. Thanks..."
"Never felt a feeling of comfort, oh, and all this time I've been hiding..."
Kageyama had been quiet all day. Too quiet. He had been quiet during the warm up, only called out names in a quiet voice during the practise match, and hadn't shouted at Hinata once. It was concerning.
He was a quiet person in general, but even then he was comfortable enough with the team to talk to them. So now they knew something was wrong. During the match he didn't seem excited or energised, instead sad and resigned. When the first set was over, his team having scraped the last few points, he grabbed his water bottle and went and sat on the steps outside.
His bottle stood forgotten next to him. He was looking down, his face in a frown as if thinking over something painful, and he was ignorant of the concerned glances sent his way. Suga noticed everyone was concerned but didn't know whether or not to approach the first year, mostly in fear of being shut out.
He sighed and took one more drink of his water before putting his bottle down and joining Kageyama on the stairs. The first year noticed his presence but didn't acknowledge him; it wasn't until a warm hand slipped into his own that he looked over to the third year. He saw a warm smile and concerned eyes, ones he couldn't look at. But he appreciated the gesture.
He didn't need questions or glances, just some sense of comfort. He returned Suga's grip and lay his head on the vice-captain's shoulder, letting out a long sigh. At this show of vulnerability, Suga shuffled closer to the first year and slowly ran his fingers through the ravenette's hair to hopefully distract him and ease away his tension.
And Kageyama let him, enjoying this silent comfort he sometimes missed...
"And I never had someone to call my own, oh nah, I'm so used to sharing..."
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. On and on did the repetitive sound of a volleyball slamming against the gym floor echo around the Karasuno gym. Kageyama was practising his serves by himself, wanting to get better so he would be as good as Oikawa.
Ten. Eleven. Twelve. The team noticed he was focused on his practise but also that he was distracted. Whether it was the moments of zoning out or the moments of deflated sighs, they knew something was on the setter's mind.
Noya wanted to help; thinking he could get in some extra practise either way, he asked to receive Kageyama's serves. The ravenette agreed and the pair collected in all of the balls- returning them to the trolley- before heading to the back lines of the court.
"Send them to me!" Noya exclaimed as he got into his starting position.
"Okay." the first year replied calmly as he tossed a volleyball in his hands a few times before serving.
Slam! It flew right by Noya's side, hitting the back line and ricocheting against the wall. Noya stood still with wide eyes, feeling his hair settle after the gust of wind from the serve messed it about a little.
"Holy shi-!"
"Language!"
"Dude that was awesome!" Noya cheered.
"It was?" Kageyama asked. "It felt the same as always."
"Send me another one! I'll stop it this time!"
"I'll join too! I can always do with more practise." Hinata exclaimed as he jumped up off the floor and joined the pair on the court.
Kageyama smirked as he made another serve, knowing Hinata would definitely not be able to stop it. But it was fun seeing him receive it with his face. Noya was laughing like a maniac whilst trying to encourage Hinata, and Kageyama watched with a small smile at his teammates. He was happy he was at Karasuno and these were the people he played alongside...
"Love only left me alone, but I'm at one with the silence..."
Kageyama had been texting someone on his phone all day, sometimes even looking at it during their breaks at practise. Ukai wanted to tell him to put his phone away during their warm up, but the look on the setter's face made him stop. Kageyama looked, he daresay, happy. It was a rare sight- usually the teen kept everything to himself- so instead he pulled him outside and asked who he was talking to.
"Kageyama, who are you texting? You've been glued to your phone all day." he began in a calm voice, letting the first year know he wasn't in trouble.
"I have? I'm sorry if I've been distracting anyone!" Kageyama didn't get the message.
"No, it's fine kid. I was just curious. Usually all you're attention is on volleyball."
"I've been speaking to my sister. She... well she's been away from home for a while and I don't get to see her much. So when we speak it's important to me." explained Kageyama, looking down at the device in his hand.
'I see." Ukai said before sitting down on a bench and gesturing for the first year to join him. "So, tell me more about your family."
"There's not much to say... My parents aren't exactly around, and Miwa is away making a future for herself. My granddad he... he died a year or so back."
"Middle school? Around the time when you-"
"Yeah." Kageyama interrupted, nor daring to look at the coach's face from shame. "I guess everything sort of piled up and crashed down."
"So who do you live with?" Ukai asked.
"Nobody. I've been by myself for about a year now. It's okay, I'm used to it."
"But you're only-"
The coach was cut off by a buzz, and Kageyama looked down to see a funny message off Miwa. He smiled and replied quickly before locking his phone.
"Is that your grandfather?"
The man on the lock screen was old yet shared the same blue eyes as Kageyama. The first year gently smiled.
"Yeah, he was the whole reason I got into volleyball in the first place. I'm gonna go pro and make him proud."
"You already have."
Ukai patted the boy's shoulder before standing up and heading into the gym, telling the setter to come in when he's ready. Kageyama was taken aback by the kind words and felt comfort in the silence around him; somehow he felt a little less alone...
"I found peace in your violence, can't tell me there's no point in trying..."
Karasuno were at a training camp with Nekoma and Fukurodani. Tsuki had been speed walking to escape the clutches of Kuroo and Bokuto; he had seen Akaashi help Kageyama do the same thing earlier, them both having similar personalities in a sense.
At last he had reached their room for the weekend and slowed his pace to a casual walk. When he slid open the door there was a sight he did not expect to find.
"What are you doing here? Aren't you practising?" Kageyama asked as he looked over to the blond middle blocker.
"I could ask you the same thing."
"Hiding?"
"Yeah."
"Hm."
Kageyama resumed to ignore the male, instead resuming his focus on the item that greatly intrigued the middle blocker. The King was reading a goddamn book. In English.
"What are you reading?" Tsuki asked as he sat down and grabbed his phone to listen to some music. Kageyama gave him a hesitant look before looking at the front cover.
"Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban." he read in heavily accented English.
"Okay, I have too many questions. Why are you reading? I've never seen you read. And why is it in English? You hate English."
"I do read!" the setter argued. "A lot, at home. And in private because I get rude questions like yours! And it's in English because- well- I thought if I become a pro player someday then speaking English would help. And reading is more fun than doing worksheets. No harm in trying, right?" Kageyama asked, but even then he looked down at the book with uncertainty.
Tsuki noticed this and said he applauded him for his efforts, whether he would get anything out of it is another question. Kageyama huffed and resumed his reading. It was slow but he was making his way though chapter 4 well enough. Only sometimes did he have to put a word into Translate to find out what it meant and how to pronounce it.
The time passed on and Kageyama was finishing up the chapter and wanted to read another. The world of the book was so interesting with so many funny characters and words that confused him but amuse him too. He reluctantly let out a yawn as he turned the page, looking at the time on the phone and seeing it was only 9pm.
Tsuki could see Kageyama was focused on reading but also that he was tired. He debated in his head for a moment before sitting down next to the setter who looked at him with a raised brow.
"Here." the blond gestured for the book.
"Why?"
"I'll read it aloud. You're tired and listening will help with your pronunciation anyways. And I don't want any annoying questions from Hinata tomorrow either. Here."
Kageyama considered for a moment before handing over the book. They both leaned against the wall so they could see the words but it hurt their necks. So- rather awkwardly at first- Kageyama sat between the blond's legs and leaned back onto his chest; Tsuki began to read chapter 5. Kageyama was surprised at how Tsuki managed to speak without an accent; he spoke quick too, but slow enough that Kageyama could understand and ask questions about different words.
As Tsuki read, Kageyama could feel tiredness creeping up on him. He hadn't slept the greatest the night before and since now he didn't have to force himself awake to read he could feel his eyes wanted to shut. Slowly, Tsuki's voice faded out and he fell asleep, head fallen to the side and leaning against the middle blocker's chest.
Tsuki noticed the shift and saw Kageyama was asleep. He bookmarked the page before putting the book to the side. He didn't really know what to do, no-one had ever fallen asleep on him before. He decided to let the setter stay where he was and grabbed his earphones to listen to music. He shifted himself around a bit and Kageyama did the same, leaning on his side on Tsuki and pulling his legs up a little. He felt comfortable and safe, it was nice...
"I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long."
Kageyama finished singing and saw everyone was just looking at him.
"So, that's how it goes I guess." he rubbed the back of his neck and looked away.
The team all pulled themselves out of their memories, each triggered by a lyric in the song. They shared understanding looks before turning to the first year.
"That's a very good song to choose." Suga agreed.
"You can sing nice too." Tanaka added.
"Oh, thanks I guess."
Kageyama blushed before standing up to go back to practise, everyone following and seeing the first year in a new light. Somehow, they all felt just that bit closer to the ravenette, seeing him in that new light.