Xela
When I was eight years old I remember having a bowl of strawberries, before I knew I was allergic to them. When my dad found me, I was barely able to breathe and was rushed to the hospital. Right now I can feel my throat closing up just like it had when I was eight.
The first thing I do is try to get the hell away from the cafeteria, instantly running into Natalie who doesn't seem to want to let me leave. "You don't like it?" She says, batting her eyelashes. All of the sudden Natalie bursts out laughing, my hands shooting up to my swollen face.
I try to move, to run, but as I blink I feel myself spinning. I haven't eaten all day, and the first thing I do eat is practically poison for me. Not a good combination.
I hear muffled arguing, but I'm barely paying attention to what is happening. The lump in my throat is growing as my body lightly sways. Out of the corner of my eye Annie is screaming at Natalie. Max is in front of me, trying to talk to me but I can barely hear what he is saying.
The last thing I remember is getting a glimpse of Denny shoving Ryder from across the cafeteria, until I finally get through the sea of people and am able to inject myself with an epi pen I keep with me.
"Holy shit are you okay?" Annie runs after me, stopping and catching her breath in front of me. I am on the floor, trying to think of anything but the pain from stabbing myself in the thigh.
I try to say I'm fine but the words can't come out. "We need to go to the nurse or something" she tells me. I shake my head, "No, this is all I need." I say, my words shakier than I would like them to be. I close my eyes and drag the back of my head on the wall, feeling Annie give my arm a reassuring squeeze.
"Are you okay?" A voice belonging to Denny says, my eyes shooting open to see Denny and Max just stepping into the hallway. Right behind Denny is Ryder, who looks pissed.
"I'm fine" I croak, my hands feeling my throat, pleased to find it doesn't seem to be swelling more. "Why is he here?" Annie questions, her tone a little on the rude side. Ryder gives her a nasty glare, which she returns to him. "He just followed me." Denny tells us, making Ryder open his mouth to defend himself, but Max cuts him off.
"What even happened?" Max asks, although it looks like he is talking to Annie rather than me. That's fine with me, though, because I feel like shit.
"The bitch gave her strawberries, knowing she was allergic" Annie explains to them, making them all look shocked, except for Ryder. "But you already knew that, right?" I say to him, now catching him off guard. "Excuse me?" He narrows his eyes at me, looking extremely terrifying at the moment.
I can't get myself to bring more words together, right now I'm just focused on a head of sweat I can feel on my eyebrow.
"You knew this was going to happen?" Denny accuses his brother angrily, who just scoffs. "I didn't know she was going to react like this. Natalie just said she would get all puffy and shit. I was in a mood for a good laugh."
I close my eyes, not fully registering his words, until a female voice erupts throughout the hallway. "Ms. Smith?"
I open my eyes to see a woman who appears to be a school nurse looking down at me, her eyes full of concern. "I got quite a few messages saying you were having a reaction?" She squats next to me, the back of her hand pressed to my forehead.
I wish I had been able to control flinching when she had lifted her hand to my face, but I nearly hit my head against the wall trying to get away from her touch.
"Ok we need to get you to the office, I have already called your mother." She smiles at me, standing up and holding her hand out for me to get up as well. I don't take her hand as I stumble to my feet, feeling dizzy as I do.
"For God's sake..." Ryder mumbles when I accidentally bump into him. I feel my feet lifted from the ground and smell Ryder's cologne as I press my face into his jacket. He smells nice.
"Let me take her" Max offers, but Ryder grunts, "I've got it." Is all he says.
The walk to wherever the nurses office is takes a good five minutes, but I'm not even walking so I don't mind. I think I even fell asleep a few seconds.
I'm carried until I hear my moms voice from a distance, not sure what she is saying but it sounds like she is arguing. I close my eyes, just trying to listen to the people around me.
"Mrs. Smith, we really do think it is best if we get her the care she needs—
"She is my daughter, and she will be fine." I hear my mom arguing with an unfamiliar female voice. I'm just happy my mom doesn't sound as drunk as normal, I mean I can still hear a slight slur to her words, but maybe she is sober enough to be worried for me. Maybe.
"If she doesn't get to a hospital she could get sick or the swelling could go up."
I move to stand on my own to go into the office but Ryder's hold on me doesn't let me down. "You can barely walk" he tells me.
I can hear my mom arguing through the door that separates her from Ryder and I. I don't want to imagine what will happen if she sees a boy carrying me.
"Ryder" I say using my best stern voice although the thought of falling asleep right now is very tempting. He sighs and softly puts my feet to the floor. My knees almost buckle but thankfully I catch myself. "Thanks" I mumble, not wanting to actually thank him for something.
A big stupid smile spreads across his face, "Did you just thank me?" He says, the smile not leaving. I roll my eyes and do my best not to smile back at him, "Don't make me take it back." I say. The second the last word leaves my mouth the door swings open and my mom is there, looking like absolute shit.
Her hair isn't long like it was before, but now it's cut unevenly to her shoulders, obviously done by herself. She doesn't say a word as she harshly grips my arm and nearly makes me trip as she pulls me down the hall. I glance back at Ryder who looks concerned, but thankfully doesn't move. I feel nails dig into my arm, hard enough to draw little bits of blood. "You are going to be sorry for this." She mutters just loud enough for me to hear.
————
"You should have heard that woman accusing me of neglect!" My mom screams at me while Paul is listening to her explanation of what happened today.
"I had to drop what I was doing to come pick you up because you ate a fucking strawberry!" She rants about how awful I am, like it's my fault the school followed protocol and called my mom when I was having an allergic reaction.
"And don't get me started on that boy you are fucking around with" these words make Paul sit up a little straighter, his glare on me deepen.
"I wasn't doing anything with him." I argue, hoping she just listens to me for once. "You're a little lying slut" she says, slapping me hard across my face.
I don't know what was wrong with me, all I felt was anger. Day after day I wake up hoping my mom will love me, I take care of her and do everything she asks of me, and she doesn't care. I don't even remember hitting her until she is on the floor and Paul has me pinned against the wall, anger seething through his teeth.
"You bitch!" My mom cries out, cupping her face dramatically. I doubt my punch could even hurt that bad, certainly not as much as Paul's, and do I fall to the ground and cry? Sometimes. But that's not the point.
I flail my legs trying to get out of Paul's grip but he looks so angry his grip on me doesn't falter.
He keeps one hand on my throat, the other on my waist and makes me freeze, unsure what is going to happen. "Go upstairs and lay on your bed." He growls, shivers shooting down my spine.
My eyes widen at his words, tears threatening to escape but I do my best and blink them away. I shake my head, silently begging him to just let me go. "I'm out of damn patience with you!" He screams, grabbing the side of my neck and throwing me harshly against the floor. I fall to my knees but am then pushed so my hands are on the ground. My mom is standing now, looking at me with so much disgust.
I feel the fabric of my shirt ripped from my back, choking me for a few seconds before it tears.
I'm not prepared when the lash of a belt hits my back, a cry escaping my lips.
I sit there until my back is raw and numb, when Paul finally staggers to the couch and passes out next to where my mom is laying unconscious as well.
I didn't want to move, I knew it would hurt even more when I moved. After who knows how long, I gain the courage to get myself into my room before either of them wake. I grab Mr. Bear and get myself into the safety of my bathroom, locking the door and falling asleep on the floor, too tired to deal with the pain coming from my back.